Last night, 60 Minutes aired a report on how BP is trying to get out of a contract that has forced the oil giant to pay billions in reparations stemming from the Deepwater Horizon oil spill, even to people who weren't directly affected by the disaster. The funny thing is that BP has no one to blame but itself.

Imagine working for an enormous global oil conglomerate. Now imagine you were trapped in a reply-all chain thousands of your coworkers—stretching across continents and timezones.

Halliburton announced today that it will plead guilty to destroying critical evidence in the 2010 Gulf of Mexico oil spill, in exchange for three years probation and a fine.

Ever since it exploded on April 20, 2010 — killing 11 crew members — BP's Deepwater Horizon oil rig has been a rotting carcass submerged in the Gulf of Mexico. In related news, the Coast Guard announced tonight that a mysterious substance is leaking from the wreckage and nobody knows what it is:

Remember how BP's relentless pursuit of profits at the expense of safety caused the Gulf of Mexico to be flooded with oil a little while ago? No. I don't remember that. Do you? Hmm. What I do remember is BP's absolutely awesome Olympic spirit!

A BP oil pipeline in Alaska leaked "a mixture of methanol and oily produced water" on Saturday during routine summer maintenance, but no more than 4,200 gallons spilled out (probably).

While the rest of Washington squabbles over the debt ceiling, one man has been fighting for your right to buy real lightbulbs. Republican Congressman Joe Barton — of BP "shakedown" fame — has been trying to overturn the 2007 law that requires lightbulbs to operate 30 percent more efficiently by 2012. Barton lost last…

One need only look to the iPad 2 feeding frenzies currently gripping China for evidence that Apple is the hottest brand on the planet. And now it's official: Research company Millward Brown puts Apple at the top of their annual 100 global brand power list, knocking Google off the throne its held for four years…

Geez, the federal government sure has made the last year so tough for struggling oil companies to get new offshore drilling leases. And if there's one sector that needs a helping hand these days, well, it's oil. But thanks to House Republicans those dark days will soon be over! Yesterday a bill was passed — creatively…

Pariah oil company BP is settling charges by paying $25 million in civil fines over two oil spills on Alaska's North Slope in 2006, and for basically ignoring court orders to properly maintain their pipelines. How shocking! According to a report in the Times, "The fine is the largest per-barrel assessment ever levied…

BP went after three companies yesterday with lawsuits for "misconduct" (ha!) and for tarnishing its good name over the Gulf of Mexico oil spill last year, most notably Halliburton. Yesterday's filing blasts Halliburton for "improper conduct, errors and omissions, including fraud and concealment," and it is thought the…

After ejaculating 5 million barrels of oil into the Gulf of Mexico, BP doled out $750 million to state and local governments in a panicked attempt to seem less evil. The states, being dutiful stewards of the environment, directed the money to cleanup and mitigation. Kidding! No, they spent it on the Doobie Brothers…

In not-very-shocking news from the Gulf of Mexico, scientists have said that six dolphins that washed up on the shore there had oil on them, and National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration officials have traced the oil directly to last year's BP spill. Previously, experts said that "unusual mortality events" were…

Last week, the owner of the fiery death trap Deepwater Horizon oil rig, Transocean Ltd., announced in a SEC filing that it was handing out huge bonuses to its top executives for the "best year in safety performance in our company's history." Transocean CEO and big bonus recipient Steve Newman also made a point that of…

Remember Transocean Ltd., the company that owned the BP-operated Deepwater Horizon oil rig that exploded in a hellish ball of fire, killing 11 workers and setting off the massive Gulf oil spill last year? In documents filed with the SEC on Friday, the company announced it was handing out bonuses to senior executives…

Bloomberg reports today that the Justice Department is exploring manslaughter charges against BP managers over the deaths of 11 workers on the Deepwater Horizon offshore oil rig last year. According to the report, invesitgators want "to determine whether [BP managers'] testimony was at odds with what they knew." In…