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New York, 12:18 PM
Sat Dec 5
40 posts in the last 24 hours

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    UCLA Finds a Commencement Speaker That Makes James Franco Look Like an Intellectual Heavyweight
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of StonedAndDethroned StonedAndDethroned
    06/10/09

    In reply to UCLA Finds a Commencement Speaker That Makes James Franco Look Like an Intellectual Heavyweight
    Given that the school in question is UCLA, all of these candidates fit perfectly.
     Reply
    StonedAndDethroned was starred StonedAndDethroned was unstarred
    Image of bess marvin, girl detective bess marvin, girl detective
    06/10/09

    In reply to UCLA Finds a Commencement Speaker That Makes James Franco Look Like an Intellectual Heavyweight
    these wounds, they will not heal
     Reply
    bess marvin, girl detective was starred bess marvin, girl detective was unstarred
    Image of katekate is squared katekate is squared
    06/10/09

    In reply to UCLA Finds a Commencement Speaker That Makes James Franco Look Like an Intellectual Heavyweight
    I'm impressed by everyone's breaking out old Linkin Park songs here in the comments that I forgot existed. By impressed, I mean fuck you guys, I had forgotten those songs existed and now I have to remember.
     Reply
    katekate is squared was starred katekate is squared was unstarred
    Image of marin79 marin79
    06/10/09

    In reply to UCLA Finds a Commencement Speaker That Makes James Franco Look Like an Intellectual Heavyweight
    I can't but help to sympathize with these graduates. Which one of these students hasn't proven themselves as such a remarkable, accomplished 22-year-old that he or she isn't entirely entitled to a commencement address by a speaker who can express what life is like as a wealthy, 50-year-old white male? How any of us can question their outright dismissal of Franco is just wrong. Personally, I have based my life on the inspirational comments from my own commencement speaker. Or at least I think I did. Can't actually remember which rich old dude we had.
     Reply
    marin79 was starred marin79 was unstarred
    Image of VoxPopuli VoxPopuli
    06/09/09

    In reply to UCLA Finds a Commencement Speaker That Makes James Franco Look Like an Intellectual Heavyweight
    I would prefer if James Franco were to screw me in person.
     Reply
    VoxPopuli was starred VoxPopuli was unstarred
    Image of tunamelt tunamelt
    06/09/09

    In reply to UCLA Finds a Commencement Speaker That Makes James Franco Look Like an Intellectual Heavyweight
    Hahahahahaha.


    /USC graduate.


    (Main speaker at my graduation was the CEO of Disney last year, and my satellite ceremony featured Arianna Huffington, but I was hungover and did not actually care.)

     Reply
    tunamelt was starred tunamelt was unstarred
    Image of iplaudius iplaudius
    06/09/09

    In reply to UCLA Finds a Commencement Speaker That Makes James Franco Look Like an Intellectual Heavyweight
    Every time I see that picture, I just want to go over there and flick his Adam’s apple. That, or maybe a wet willy. (Tough call.)
     Reply
    iplaudius was starred iplaudius was unstarred
    Image of VoxPopuli VoxPopuli
    06/09/09

    @iplaudius: You could also draw a moustache on his face or put his hand in a warm bowl of water. So many options!
     Reply
    VoxPopuli was starred VoxPopuli was unstarred
    Image of iplaudius iplaudius
    06/10/09

    @VoxPopuli: How about a surprise set of Arabian goggles? That might be hard to achieve in a crowded lecture hall.
     Reply
    iplaudius was starred iplaudius was unstarred
    Image of missneeraja missneeraja
    06/09/09

    In reply to UCLA Finds a Commencement Speaker That Makes James Franco Look Like an Intellectual Heavyweight
    maybe he'll start out being the speaker but then jay-z will just come in and speak over him
     Reply
    missneeraja was starred missneeraja was unstarred
    Image of VoxPopuli VoxPopuli
    06/09/09

    @missneeraja: I giggled.
     Reply
    VoxPopuli was starred VoxPopuli was unstarred
    Image of The Cajun Boy The Cajun Boy
    06/09/09

    @missneeraja: gold star.
     Reply
    The Cajun Boy was starred The Cajun Boy was unstarred
    Image of teenage witch teenage witch
    06/09/09

    In reply to UCLA Finds a Commencement Speaker That Makes James Franco Look Like an Intellectual Heavyweight
    no one paid 100,000 to go to ucla. its a state school.

    ;)
     Reply
    teenage witch was starred teenage witch was unstarred
    Image of Lucky Lucky
    06/10/09

    @teenage witch: Yeah. I go to a different UC, and $100,000 is about the price tag on 4 years. Will probably go up in the next few years.
     Reply
    Lucky was starred Lucky was unstarred
    Image of katekate is squared katekate is squared
    06/10/09

    @Lucky: Shit, and I'm complaining about $16,000 a year for out-of-state graduate school tuition.
     Reply
    katekate is squared was starred katekate is squared was unstarred
    Image of belltolls belltolls
    06/09/09

    In reply to UCLA Finds a Commencement Speaker That Makes James Franco Look Like an Intellectual Heavyweight
    I think it will be moving to hear 10,000 people singing, "I tried so hard and got so far but in the end it doesn't even matter."
     Reply
    belltolls was starred belltolls was unstarred
    Image of Awesome X Awesome X
    06/09/09

    In reply to UCLA Finds a Commencement Speaker That Makes James Franco Look Like an Intellectual Heavyweight
    Were Milo Ventimiglia and Mayim Bialik already booked or something?
     Reply
    Awesome X was starred Awesome X was unstarred
    Image of katekate is squared katekate is squared
    06/10/09

    @Awesome X: Shoot, Mayim Bialik has a PhD in fucking neuroscience. I'd hear from her with no qualms at all.
     Reply
    katekate is squared was starred katekate is squared was unstarred
    Image of LeftCoastLady LeftCoastLady
    06/09/09

    In reply to UCLA Finds a Commencement Speaker That Makes James Franco Look Like an Intellectual Heavyweight
    So, if the grads aren't paying attention during the speech, will Delson go, "SHUT UPPPPP! SHUT UP WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU! I'M ABOUT TO BREAK!!"
     Reply
    LeftCoastLady was starred LeftCoastLady was unstarred
    Image of katekate is squared katekate is squared
    06/10/09

    @LeftCoastLady: hahahahahahahahahah
     Reply
    katekate is squared was starred katekate is squared was unstarred
    Image of HeathersBrother HeathersBrother
    06/09/09

    In reply to UCLA Finds a Commencement Speaker That Makes James Franco Look Like an Intellectual Heavyweight
    At least they didn't drag out Ray Manzarek to impart his mystic wisdom:


    "Hey kids, just keep away from those white powders. Stay strictly psychedelic and you can be just like me, you guys!"

     Reply
    HeathersBrother was starred HeathersBrother was unstarred
    Image of metoometoo metoometoo
    06/09/09

    @HeathersBrother: Well that's just good advice.
     Reply
    metoometoo was starred metoometoo was unstarred
    Image of CaptainFantastic CaptainFantastic
    06/10/09

    @metoometoo: +1
     Reply
    CaptainFantastic was starred CaptainFantastic was unstarred
    Image of riggssm riggssm
    06/09/09

    In reply to UCLA Finds a Commencement Speaker That Makes James Franco Look Like an Intellectual Heavyweight
    Is Franco really the villain in this story?


    The way I've heard it, the artistic bitches at UCLA didn't want their "peer" giving them advice on things like making money and being pretty (two things Franco's good at, that fucking sell-out), so he withdrew (on the pretense of scheduling) in order to save UCLA from rescinding their invitation (which would be almost as embarrassing as inviting the lead guitarist from Linkin Park to be the speaker).


    (Oh, shite. The replacement for Franco is the lead guitarist from Linkin Park? My ears are red.)

     Reply
    riggssm was starred riggssm was unstarred
    Image of The Cajun Boy The Cajun Boy
    06/09/09

    @riggssm: No, that's true, but it's so much more fun to blame it all on Franco's desire to get high and laid at a keg party at the Jersey shore.
     Reply
    The Cajun Boy was starred The Cajun Boy was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    06/09/09

    In reply to UCLA Finds a Commencement Speaker That Makes James Franco Look Like an Intellectual Heavyweight
    Got no zing, just some love for TCB. Really look forward to your writing, cher darlin'.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
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