Gawker
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gossip roundup
Courtney Love's 60-Blog-Post Freakout
- Apparently Courtney Love said something about being suicidal amid her 60 (!!) blog posts Sunday but she also said her mood was "pirate" (good, right??) and that "ebaz and mj dresses saved my life." Also putting on a dress made her feel pretty. Also: "Dada, circus."
- NBC's Dan Abrams and supermodel Elle Macpherson are an item. [P6]
- After a fan committed suicide in front of her house, Paula Abdul hired "healers" to get rid of ghosts, and still is convinced the place is haunted. [P6]
- Sean Combs: ""I shave and groom my private areas." Good morning to you too, Sean. [R&M - second item]
- No one tell Ricky Gervais the pound is now worth less than $1.50. The city needs all the economic stimulus it can get [R&M - third item]
- Oil heir Brandon Davis is now said to be a degenerate gambler, in addition to a sponge. [P6]
- Madonna is crushing Britney Spears' only-recently-revived hopes and dreams. [Showbiz Spy]
- Miley Cyrus is not dead. [E!]
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By Ryan TateComment by Aaron Altman: Dear Courtney: My offer to be your personal editor, assistant, whatever is still open. I swear!!!! Let's work something out.... 14 Responses | Other threads
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By Ryan TateComment by Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate: I'd disown my mother if she slept with Gene Simmons and recorded it. 23 Responses | Other threads
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gawker stalker
Can I Buy Me Some Excitement?
Life is so boring when you're a bazillionaire. Or so it seems for Oily Davis and Scott Storch, according to our stalker. More »
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Comment by sneakers: i guess storch isn't sweating the warrant for his arrest: [www.miamiherald.com] more » | Other threads
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Comment by BalknChain: @Mary Mouse: that was momentous@ian spiegelman: ;) more » | Other threads
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Destroy Him
Why is Brandon Davis Alive?
I hate TMZ, truly, I do. But I hate pudgy rich homicide-victim-in-waiting Brandon Davis even more. So here's the sniveling little shit dropping the N-bomb.
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Comment by nltisme: This guy is the AntiChrist.....and quite proud of it. more » | Other threads
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1,911
By Ryan TateComment by richardmarxhatesmyhair: @Koreanish: They have southern accents. It's the darnedest thing! more » | Other threads
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defamer
Top Five Most Incomprehensible Babe Magnets In Hollywood
Another day, another beauty splits up with legendary duck-faced serial dater Zach Braff. Seems Shiri Appleby, like her predecessors Drew Barrymore, Mandy Moore and Kirsten Dunst, just wasn't up to Zach's inexplicably high standards. It's embarrassing to admit, but we've always embarrassingly found the Scrubs star kinda charming in a college boyfriend who makes you laugh kind of way, but then again, we're mere mortals. So why do actresses like Shiri and Drew fall head-over-heels for this guy? Still, Zach is hardly the only aesthetically-challenged male star notching hottie after hottie on their (rarely worn) belts. We select our picks for the top five improbably lucky swordsmen in Hollywood after the jump. More » -
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fire crotch
Every Detail Is Perfectly Ironic
This week Village Voice columnist and flip-flop with socks wearer Michael Musto recreated Lindsay Lohan's recreation of Marilyn Monroe's last photo shoot because nothing says "Pultizer" like drag (Does it count as drag if you're naked? -ed). A small point that might have gotten overlooked as you held in your vomit: Musto's ass has "Fire Crotch" airbrushed in. Hey, Musto, you owe Brandon Davis a nickel. [La Daily Musto] -
the poors
Brandon Davis No Longer Getting By On His Charm, Inheritance
Is international asshole and oil heir Brandon Davis broke? He's been bumming money off friends and asking strangers to buy him drinks. But this is the same international asshole and oil heir who was detained at Syndney International airport in January for carrying too much cash around. Rumors of Davis getting cut off have been going around since July, but maybe he just forgot to deposit his allowance this month. Rich people don't understand that regular people don't casually lend out thousands of dollars (unless you are trying to buy an over-valued home). Perhaps he's just asking for loans and drinks because of the "asshole" bit. The man should be living large off royalties from coining "firecrotch" alone. [P6] -
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By Ryan TateComment by Stark_pigeon: @In Other News...: Hannah Montana has pictures now.... more » | Other threads
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gossip roundup
Britney Spears May Yet Still Lose Those Kids!
- Kevin Federline is dragging Britney Spears back into court because of her erratic driving—she recently ran a red light with the kids in the backseat. [Us Weekly] More »
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By Emily GouldComment by SybilDisobedience: @billiejeanismylover: Well, Ameche's dead, I think. I was going to suggest Ernest Borgnine, but he might be dead too. I'm not... more » | Other threads
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gossip roundup
Ashley Olsen And Lance Armstrong: Is This A Joke?
- Why are Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong parading their PDAs around the town's hotspots? Although! Page Six says they were dining at Waverly Inn together on Tuesday—but the photographic evidence says that Ashley was actually dining with Sting, Slash and Stephen Fry. No Lance shows up in the paparazzi photos. [Page Six, Image: Splash Photos] More »
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oil dependency
Paris Hilton Teaches Brandon Davis About Energy Policy (No, Really)
Last night Wonkette videographer Liz Glover crashed some fashion party and humiliated Brandon Davis by asking him about current events. (Guess what? Sorta thick, the Greasy Bear!) But Brandon should have known better! Because just a year ago, at another fashion party, a journalist working on behalf of another esteemed news organization cornered Brandon to pose another question about similarly oil-themed current events. And got taken to school by Paris "All the books of the Bible are my favorite because I can't actually read" Hilton! (After offering the best excuse for ignorance ever in history offered to a reporter.) A tipster sent us the transcript, from a June 2006 party hosted by Karl Lagerfeld young Brandon should maybe like NEVER FORGET. [Jezebel] -
gossip roundup
Posh And Becks, America Is Yours!
- Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and Jada Pinkett-Smith and Will Smith (nice four-some!) are throwing the "Welcome to America" party for Posh and Becks this weekend. "Invitations went out all over Hollywood . . . they were printed on red velvet with tacky gold lettering." [Page Six] More »
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By ChoireComment by lovely nigerienne: The Smiths have totally lost my respect by being around the Cruises. I don't care how black you are.... more » | Other threads
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gossip roundup
Even Lindsay Lohan Probably Has Nude Photos
- If we have to see naked pictures of Lindsay Lohan in the course of our job duties, we will sue someone. Maybe it'll be this person, who claims that Lindsay confirmed the naked pictures via Gchat. We imagine this is just what Larry Page and Sergey Brin invented Gmail for. Oddest statement ever from publicist Leslie Sloane Zelnik: "Anything is possible." Isn't it though? [Page 6] More »
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gossip
Gossip Roundup: Brandon Davis Hates Himself
- What makes Brandon Davis's anti-Arab slurred slurs against Paula Abdul (sorta, in an Alanis way) ironic? The fact that he's half-Turkish. Oho! [Gatecrasher] More »
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By Emily GouldComment by clergymen from molluscs: Hell I don't know, I can't see Brandon Davis because of the egg on my face...no Ottoman Turk was an... more » | Other threads
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gossip
Gossip Roundup: Brandon Davis Classes Up Paris Bash
- Brandon Davis, the oil heir who's 'famous' for coining "firecrotch" and for being the ugliest man ever to date Mischa Barton, caused quite a ruckus at Paris Hilton's zillionth 26th birthday party. At one point, he picked up Courtney Love and told her "I want to squirt on you." Horrors. [R&M] More »
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By Emily GouldComment by TedSez: Oh, and the best thing about the restaurant where Brandon Davis was humping on Courtney Love at Paris' birthday party?... more » | Other threads
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gossip
Gossip Roundup: Brandon Davis Loves Frenchies
- Factory Girl director George Hickenlooper was "forcibly ejected" from oily heir Brandon Davis's hotel room for... not being French or medicated enough? [Transom] More »
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By Emily GouldComment by Trackback: Oola is a real restaurant, I shit you not! Self-described as an "American Bistro," Oola is open until 1 a.m.... more » | Other threads
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lindsay lohan
Lindsay Lohan Is Already On Step 5!
For those few Gawker readers who don't have 'em memorized, that's the "admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs" one. And it should come as no surprise, really — we were there, after all, for Step 4 ("Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"): Lindsay inventoried her morals and encouraged us to do the same in her pithy Altman eulogy. And now, Lindsay is running around town apologizing — yesterday, she made up with the strippers who she'd called "whores" and "cunts," and today, according to Page Six, she reached a similar rapprochement with producer Scott Storch, forgiving him for producing "Brandon Davis's 'firecrotch' song" (what??) and, quite possibly, for the crime against humanity he committed by enabling Paris Hilton to record an album. Brava, Linds — only a week into your recovery, and you've come so far! We're looking forward to step 8: "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." We're expecting a fruit basket; that crotch shot scarred us for life. More »
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By Emily GouldComment by Sober_in_the_City: Take it from a sober woman... You have your steps mixed up. Step 5 is when you share that... more » | Other threads
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lindsay lohan
Gossip Roundup: Firecrotch to Simmer Down
- Lindsay Lohan wants a break from whatever it is that she does for living. [MSNBC] More »
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jessica simpson
Short Ends: Jessica Simpson Croaks
· Due to popular demand, we have uploaded for you Jessica Simpson's Today show voice crack, which, when played at high volume on infinite loop, is surprisingly effective at deterring mosquitoes. Happy camping. More » -
brandon davis
Gossip Roundup: Brandon Davis Sings of Firecrotch
• Oh thank God, Brandon Davis is fucked up again. The drunken oil heir climbed on stage at a Miami club and told the crowd he'd written a special new song called "Firecrotch," just for Lindsay Lohan. Hope it's a B-side on Paris Hilton's single. [Page Six] More »
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By JessicaComment by Fuck you gawker: Scott Storch is a huge geek and no amount of money can change that. :'( 4 him. more » | Other threads
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joe simpson
Gossip Roundup: Bored With Ryan Cabrera, Joe Simpson Hunts Nick Lachey
• Daddy stalks best: In the seven months between Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson's separation, dad Joe Simpson was keeping a close eye on Nick, asking clubs for security footage from when Nick was present with Vanessa Minnillo and CaCee Cobb. [Gatecrasher] More »
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By JessicaComment by citytropic: A TMZ poll has produced the following results (at 2:35 pm): Who would you most like to see Paris with? Star... more » | Other threads
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lindsay lohan
Gossip Roundup: Lohan Returns to the Magic Kingdom
• Disneyland stays open until midnight for Lindsay Lohan, so that Mickey might get high from her special secondhand smoke. On the darkened riverboat cruise that concluded her evening, Lohan made the happiest place on earth a little more so by blowing rails of Tinkerbell's fairy dust. [MiceAge] More »
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By JessicaComment by Igel in der Abendstunde: Why is anyone ever called "Brandon"? more » | Other threads
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brandon davis
Gossip Roundup: Brandon Davis Removes His IV of Cocaine, Enters Rehab
• Brandon Davis checks into Malibu's Passages rehab center, not to be confused with Malibu's Promises rehab center. For $75,000 a month, they'll help Davis treat his addiction to firecrotches and Paris Hilton's coke spoon. [InTouch] More » -
brangelina
Gossip Roundup: 'People' Kidnaps Shiloh for $4.1m
• And the award goes to... People magazine, who won the Getty Images' first pictures of baby Shiloh for a mere $4.1 million. Props to Getty for making them scramble and outbid each other until 6 in the morning. [Page Six] More » -
britney spears
Gossip Roundup: Britney Just Might Be Done With Carrying K-Fed's Seed, Once and for All
• America's first couple, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, may no longer be rolling in the filth of their wedded bliss. Brit's publicist refuses to deny that they've split, and in the court of celebrity trash, silence is an admission of divorce. If the sweet sounds of "Popozao" can't save a marriage, can anything? [Mirror UK] More » -
al roker
Remainders: Come Give Al a Hug!
• Al Roker continues to amaze the denizens of Philly, revealing that he is, as suspected, a hugger. As is Matt Lauer. Katie Couric? [Insert controversial pause] Sure, guess you could say she's a hugger, too. In fact, the entire staff of the Today show molests one another daily. Except for Ann Curry. No one will touch her. [NBC10] More »
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By JessicaComment by the earl grey: juanita is brill, with her & me behind L Lo she will soon 'nuff rule the world. prairie home companion... more » | Other threads
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brandon davis
Remainders: Everybody Hates Brandon.
• The cameras of TMZ.com never rest: last week they caught Brandon Davis waxing philosophical on the nature of Lindsay Lohan's crotch, this week they document the LA nightlife backlash as a woman screams at him to take a shower and derides him for getting his money "from daddy." As if that's an insult? [TMZ] More »
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By JessicaComment by Leon Freilich: THE CODE RECODED Say it isn't so, Ma; Tell me it's false, Jehovah. "The Da Vinci Code" is claiming-- And in so doing defaming-- Jesus,... more » | Other threads
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lindsay lohan
Gossip Roundup: Brandon Davis Apologizes to the Firecrotch
• Oil heir Brandon Davis claims to have called Lindsay Lohan and apologized for calling her firecrotch no less than ten times in a video aired last week on TMZ.com. Of course, this development comes via Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis, so the only thing we believe thus far is that this whole story reads like a dealer's address book. [Page Six] More » -
lindsay lohan
Gossip Roundup: Lohan Fights Back the Only Way She Knows How
• After Paris Hilton's new BFF Brandon Davis hurled an a-bomb of videotaped insults at Lindsay Lohan (who, if you recall, has freckles coming out of her vagina), Lohan exacts revenge by using her tongue to massage the tonsils of Paris' ex, Starvos Niarchos. [Page Six] More »
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By JessicaComment by HaterOfTheYear: I'd say Lohan, but what if the "freckles" are contagious?!?! more » | Other threads
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gossip
Gossip Roundup: Mischa Barton Breaks Brandon Davis' Booze-Soaked Heart
• Oil heir Brandon Davis isn't taking too well to being dumped by The O.C. star Mischa Barton. Apparently he's down in Tijuana, passed out in an alley from taking too many sleeping pills and tequila shots. [Lowdown (last item)] More »
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