Gawker: Brangelina

The Decline Of The Celebrity Flack

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 12:44:08 EDT

Several months ago, Brad Pitt fired his flack. His other half, Angelina Jolie, doesn't have a dedicated, full time PR rep herself either. The fact that the couple generally gets great press anyhow raises the obvious question: if Brangelina doesn't need a publicist, who does? The nuanced answer has to do with the changing nature of the celebrity media and the shifting balance of power among various types of Hollywood insiders. The blunt answer is, "Very few Hollywood people need flacks any more." Disintermediation is the new black!

When you think of celebrity media today, think of two words: OK! magazine. Its entire business model is based on working *with* celebrities to come up with the nicest, most agreeable presentation possible. OK! is so celebrity-friendly it is edited by a former celebrity flack.

Although OK! may not be the most powerful celebrity magazine, its business methods pull US Weekly, People, and the rest of its competitors in its direction. Outlets have to fight for celebrity exclusives, and when a celebrity knows that she can go to OK! and be treated to only the nicest coverage in exchange for cooperation on a story, it's incumbent upon anyone else who wants to land that story to put up a similarly sweet offer.

The other significant part of today's celebrity media consists of the dirt-mongering gossip hounds—TMZ, Perez Hilton, etc. They place less stock in treating famous people respectfully, but they are susceptible to favor-trading.

So what many celebrities have come to realize is this: the fact that they will be covered is a given. The fact that they will have to endure a certain amount of unwanted published gossip is also a given. Modern media saturation ensures it. Luckily, they're in a position to counter any negative coverage from the dirtmongers with positive coverage from the friendlier celeb press. It's all waiting there, right out in the open. What they need is not a flack; what they need is simply a broker.

We think of the classic Hollywood publicist as a highly-connected favor trader in a position to keep a handle on the constant demands of the media with clever spin, keeping the bad news secret and the good news front-and-center. But the explosion of online media outlets has rendered this model anachronistic. The big media outlets that were once in a position to bargain with flacks are now struggling to keep up with online competitors.

So Brad Pitt doesn't need to pay a special PR person for her services. He can simply get his manager to handle it. He doesn't need a lying flack to call up newspaper editors and berate them; he just needs someone who can get the editor of celebrity weeklies on the phone to work out the best deal. He doesn't need a pit bull; W magazine just let him take its cover photo with his own camera, for chrissake. That's better PR than money can buy.

Eventually, Hollywood flackery will dwindle down to two primary categories: crisis specialists like PR ninja Mike Sitrick, whose services will be in demand as long as celebrities are fucking up in any way; and those who specialize in clients with some political inclinations, like Ken Sunshine (pictured), who reps Hollywood superliberals like Leo DiCaprio, helping to assure that they're taken seriously.

All others should be able to do away with their general-purpose flacks. Studios and networks can handle publicity for their own movies and shows. Managers can determine the best place to place stories for their celebrity clients. One less middleman won't be mourned. Even celebrities deserve to save a few bucks sometimes.

Mom Really Does Love Your Brother Better

Sheila — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 11:15:47 EDT

Uh-oh: parents do love other kids more. Especially if they're their real kids. A new study finds that foster- and step-children are "twice as likely to die" from unintentional maltreatment. This does not bode well for the children-of-many-colors of Brangelina! (Remember, it's their biological kids that commanded millions for magazine covers, not the ones she adopted as a single mom.) [Science Daily]

The Most Expensive Cover In History

Nick Denton — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 09:29:37 EDT

Here it is: the cover of this week's People magazine, the iconic shot of Hollywood's alpha couple with their newborn twins. Rights to the photos—which show a Madonna-like Angelina Jolie with Brad Pitt as middle-aged and goateed architect and two blob-like infants—were sold for more than $14m, more than double the price paid for any other set of celebrity baby photos. If anyone ever doubted that human beings were descended from monkeys, obsessed by social hierarchy, then the extraordinary public and media interest in these very ordinary images ought to resolve the question once and for all.

Brangelina Baby Photo Rumormonger

Hamilton Nolan — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 17:25:27 EDT

We hear that People is feverishly closing its upcoming issue tonight, so that the magazine can be on newsstands by Monday with its $10-15 million worth of Brangelina baby pictures. The spread, we hear, will be in the neighborhood of 30 pages. Babylicious!

People Wins Brangelina Baby Pics?

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 10:58:59 EDT

People magazine has won the heated bidding war for the new Brangelina baby pictures, according to a report (unconfirmed, so far) on JustJared.com, who puts the winning bid at "between $10 million and $15 million." Rumors of a $15 million payday for the tot photos surfaced almost two months ago. People was bidding against OK!—where publisher Richard Desmond was reportedly so determined to land the rights that he was leading the negotiations personally. If People really walked away the victor here, they will have succeeded in staving off (temporarily) OK!'s ominous ambition to corner the baby picture market. [JustJared]

Bonnie Fuller Exposes Obama's Secret "Celebrity" Plan!

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 14:32:45 EDT

Seriously, what's going on with these Bonnie Fuller columns in Ad Age? The deposed Star chief must still be desperate for cash. And Ad Age must be desperate for amusement, because the main thing these columns do is expose the fact that Bonnie Fuller—despite being paid astronomical amounts of money by several media moguls—is not all that bright. At least when it comes to writing about and/ or analyzing things. Her last column blew the big A-Rod-and-Madonna conspiracy wide open; and today, she reveals what's really going on with Barack Obama's "celebrity" strategy. The twisted truth must come out!

You see, Barack Obama didn't just stumble onto the cover of People magazine by chance. Oh no. It's all part of a big PR strategy! That's how things work in the high-level circles to which Bonnie Fuller is privy:

Like every in-demand A-list couple who concedes to allowing a peek behind the curtain, the Obamas insist this will be the "first and last" up-close and personal look at them as a family. What they don't admit to is that this was a carefully orchestrated, well-thought out brand presentation. And it isn't actually the first highly personal look at the photogenic family. No, it's the culmination of a publicity campaign designed to take advantage of the couple's charisma and Hollywood-worthy good look

Try to wrap your mind around this for a moment: the Obamas are actually using the celebrity press to get press for themselves as celebrities.

"And Michelle Obama has been demonized as a 'radical black bitch,'" points out Joe Dolce, partner in the media strategy of DolceGoldin, and the former editor in chief of Star magazine [and asshat and close friend of Bonnie Fuller].

We just thought that needed to be included. What do you think, Bonnie?

In the face of these challenges, I'm convinced that the marketing and PR experts surrounding the Obamas clued in to the enormous influence that "celebrities" have had on the American public, particularly women, over the past seven years since the emergence of Us Weekly, Star and other celebrity newsweeklies and the subsequent explosion of celebrity news.

These quote-unquote "celebrities" that Bonnie speaks of are the ones you see in newsweeklies like Star, formerly headed by Bonnie Fuller. Who can understand the intricate web of competing politcosocioeconomicultural interests here better?

A recent Associated Press-Yahoo News poll of more than 1,700 adults reported that 52% of Americans would like to invite Barack Obama to their summer barbecue vs. the 45% who would extend the invite to John McCain. So you can argue that the PR/marketing strategy is beginning to work.

You certainly could argue that, yes.

Is it also coincidental that Michelle confides to People that one of the sundresses she's wearing in their photos just happened to have been purchased at budget-conscious fashion mecca H&M. The message for these harsh economic times is that she's not shopping at Oscar de la Renta, like Cindy McCain. "You won't see Michelle in an evening gown. She's never going to be dressed up like the Queen of England," predicts PR king Howard Rubenstein, president of Rubenstein Associates. "That wouldn't be relatable."

That would indeed be strange, very strange. Final thoughts to sum up this post, which is now far too long?

Seven-year-old Sasha sports a peace sign T-shirt (how's that for a subliminal message?), Barack's in jeans and an open-neck shirt. They couldn't look more "normal" (vs. "not normal," as Star would say).

Seven-year-old Sasha Obama: She's just like us!

[Ad Age]

Brangelina Baby Shoot Booked Even Before Bidding Complete

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 16:47:13 EDT

Brangelina spawn photo war update! We hear that Getty is scheduled to do the photo shoot of Angelina Jolie's new twins on Monday. Knox and Vivienne are officially entering the celebrity media machine, and it's about time! The twist, of course, is that the bidding war between OK! and People for the rights to the photos is still ongoing. The price was hovering between $11 and $12 million this morning, and we hear it hasn't been decided yet. We know you are dying to know who will walk away the victor. A speculative look, and a guess:

OK!

Pros: OK! publisher Richard Desmond is said to be determined to land the photos—his magazine is out to corner the baby picture market, remember. Desmond is leading negotiations for the rights himself, and he knows that he has a better shot at recouping his costs, because he controls 17 international editions that could all run the photos.

Cons: It's bad for any one magazine to corner any market, no matter how frivolous. Plus, landing these Brangelina pics would be considered a victory for objectionable soulless former flack and OK! editor Rob Shuter.

People

Pros: They landed the pics of Shiloh, Brangelina's earlier spawn. Plus, People is a more prestigious title than OK!. Their PR value is higher, at least domestically.

Cons: May not be able to bid as high as Desmond will. And they have less ability to distribute internationally. Is the solution a combo deal, perhaps—People with domestic rights and OK! with international rights? Well, whatever's best for the children.

But seriously, OK! will win, we think. All the money's going to charity, so Brangelina will go for Desmond's higher price for their baby's souls.

Brangelina Babies: Official Report

ian spiegelman — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 11:01:25 EDT

A boy and a girl, last night, in France. Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline. By C-section.

Is OK! Cornering The Baby Picture Market?

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 16:32:08 EDT

America's celebrity magazines are facing a grave situation: the interest in celebrities themselves is not great enough to move the millions of copies they need to sell. No, all that people really want to see are celebrity babies. That's where the money is these days. But the vital open flow of capital in our national celebrity baby picture market is being threatened by OK! magazine's blatant pandering and deep pockets. Can we accept a bunch of sleazy, credulous Brits winning the first $15 million-plus baby picture auction? It staggers the mind! Here is the nature of the threat:

We hear that OK! publisher Richard Desmond is so set on obtaining the exclusive rights to Brangelina's new baby pictures that he's personally handling negotiations for the photos—which reached $15 million more than a month ago. (Desmond is British and OK! is multinational, meaning that Desmond is helped by both the ability to market these photos worldwide, and the pitifully low dollar). OK!'s editor is ex-celebrity flack Rob Shuter, who is a glorified celebrity wrangler whose only value is his Rolodex and his willingness to do anything to ingratiate the magazine to its famous subjects. One small example: we hear part of OK!'s agreement with Jamie Lynn Spears was to not cover the angle that she is, ya know, a single teen mom. Just the pictures, please!

And OK! may be intent on cornering the market! Consider the recent trifecta: the magazine just landed the Jamie Lynn Spears baby photo exclusive:

And just today, OK! reportedly paid $3 million for the first pics of little Levi, the tot produced by Matthew McConaughey and his girlfriend:

Add that to what looks like a probable win for OK! in the Brangelina baby bidding war, and it's a clean sweep for the whole month.

US Weekly should be a strong competitor, but owner Jann Wenner won't let them spend what it takes to snag the A-level pictures. And what's the last big baby pic exclusive that People got? Nicole Richie in March, for a mere million bucks:

With a committed publisher, a fat checkbook, and an editor-in-chief who considers "journalism" to be a foreign word, it looks like OK! just may be the only place to turn for your baby pic fix this year. Scary! The only question now is whether the skyrocketing bidding will pay off financially—and if so, for how long. Since we're living in a time when J-Lo can make an amount on baby pictures that rivals her own box office receipts, it seems that OK! will, sadly, only become more dominant the more they win. B-list wedding pictures will never make up the slack.

Which Celebrity Is The Biggest Environmental Hypocrite?

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 06 May 2008 16:04:04 EDT

Celebrities: a bunch of hypocrites! They all pay lip service to environmental issues like global warming. But most of them are heavy private jet users. They also engage in a smorgasboard of other environmental sins, from investing in oil companies (Madonna) to wasting water by demanding 120 bath towels at each appearance (Barbra Streisand) to various other transgressions you can read about here. But it's primarily the globetrotting use of gas-guzzling private planes that make their frequent entreaties to save the earth seem empty. So we're polling you, our readers, who have some of the most finely tuned hypocrisy detectors in the world: Which of these six "green" stars is the biggest environmental hypocrite? Cast your vote after the jump.

Sexy Brangelina Threesome Total Lies REVEALED!

Emily Gould — Thu, 17 May 2007 17:40:49 EDT

So Janice Min is busily rebranding Us Weekly as free of the cover story bait'n'switch tactics of other magazines. And on the one hand that's ridic, but on the other hand, sometimes she really has a point. "Brad and Angelina Threesome... SEXY ROMP with Victoria's Secret Model—The truth!" screams this week's Star cover. Let us save you $3.49 and a precious, un-get-backable five minutes of your life by revealing "the truth," per the article inside.

Doesn't it sound hot and/or absurd?

"Seriously sexy Victoria's Secret model Karolina Kurkova was the filling in a Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie cannoli, according to a scandalous new report.

But wait!

At a recent clothing fitting, Karolina [Kurkova] was reportedly "giddy, like a schoolgirl" when talking about her supposedly torrid time with Brad and Angie, a fashion insider claims in Australia's New Idea magazine. However, the claims stand in stark opposition to what really happened: that such a threesome never occurred and that Karolina says she never even met the couple.

The rest of the article is about how even if a threesome didn't happen, it so totally could have, or still might at some point in the future! Fuck this noise. I am actually switching to In Touch. —Emily

Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt Meets, Exceeds Hotness Expectations

Emily Gould — Tue, 12 Dec 2006 17:25:00 EST

[Link to picture tk — sorry, dudes. Lawyers!]
Those hotly contested first pix were tantalizing, but inconclusive. But this new set of shots from Hello!, we've gotta say, justifies that whole creepy AP "Sexiest Offspring Alive" thing. Thank goodness Shiloh takes after mom, huh? Cause if she'd taken after dad more, well . . .

[Image Source]

Earlier: The Battle of Shiloh

Gossip Roundup: Guy Ritchie Really Didn't Sign Up for This Crap

Jessica — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 13:25:38 EDT

• It's official, still: Madonna bought a kid from his dad, filed papers for adoption, and saved Africa from the "evil eye." [AP]
• In a surprising move that suggests he actually gives a shit about making his marriage — and weekly allowance — last, K-Fed tells Britney that she can't have any male dancers in her new video. [Scoop]
• During yesterday's taping, Jennifer Aniston tells Oprah that she and Vince Vaughn are still an item. Oh please, baby Jesus, let this love last. [People]
• While trying to outrun paparazzi, Angelina Jolie's driver hits a teenager on a motorbike. Made the kid's day, actually. [E!]
• Sienna Miller forgets to bring ID to a Pittsburgh bar and resorts to pulling a Polonsky. [Page Six]
• We can't quite ascertain the relevance of the following, but did Eleanor Roosevelt chow box with Amelia Earhart? And can you say "chow box" in reference to historical figures? [R&M]
• Donald Trump ruins Palm Beach skyline with giant American flag. [Page Six]

Remainders: Carmen Electra Keeps Fatties Away From Meatpacking District

Jessica — Tue, 10 Oct 2006 19:10:52 EDT

• And so the Meatpacking District continues to burn: tomorrow night, Level V hosts a party for NV, the "beauty enhancing diet pill" currently being hawked by Carmen Electra. How appropriately gauche. [Animal]
• After their long, overdramatic stay in Namibia, Brangelina pledged $315K to a local preschool and area hospitals' maternity wards. Too bad Namibians haven't even seen 1/10 of that money. [Radar]
• If you never have the chance to sit and scream like a banshee in Oprah's studio audience, what's the next best thing? Sitting and screaming liking a banshee in the car she drove cross-country with Gayle King. [KickingTires]
• Meredith Vieira confesses to being one of those psycho Harvard wannabes. [Meredith Vieira Today]
• An insider privy to Diane Sawyer's interview with Mel Gibson (airing Thursday) says Sawyer was, "f****** harder on him than I could imagine. I was cringing." Rock. [Deadline Hollywood Daily]

Gossip Roundup: Fashion Week Just Too Pretty for Bryant Park

Jessica — Fri, 15 Sep 2006 14:45:13 EDT

• Fashion Week simply cannot go by without at least one perceived drama; dowdy City Hall folks are urging Hizzoner to terminate 7th on Sixth's lease on Bryant Park because the circus is too disruptive. Obviously, these opponents are very jealous and incredibly ugly. [Page Six]
• Meanwhile, Paris Hilton changes clothes between shows in her chauffered Bentley, where the driver gets an eyeful of our national nightmare. [Gatecrasher (3rd item)]
• Also? She's a retard. [TMZ]
• Jimmy Fallon gets drunk, acts like an ass in front of a bunch of lesbians. [R&M (bottom of page)]
• Sarah Michelle Gellar steals black Chanel nail polish. So bad ass, so street. [Lowdown]
• Your tax dollars keep Brangelina safe. [Us Weekly]
• We know you mean well, but OMG GEORGE CLOONEY STFU. [AP]

Buy Almost-Relevant Domain Names, Make Tens of Tens in Advertising!

Jessica — Wed, 13 Sep 2006 15:10:32 EDT

Recently, an individual who has registered an insane amount of Brangelina/Shiloh-related domain names offered us the chance to purchase any number of his culturally hot dot-coms:

BabyShilohJoliePitt.com - $1950
BabyShilohJolie-Pitt.com - $1950
BabyShilohPitt.com - $2700
BabyBradPitt.com - $2850
JoliePittWedding.com - $2950
TheJoliePittWedding.com - $2950
PittJolieWedding.com - $2950
PittWedding.com - $2600
ThePittWedding.com - $2600
BrangelinaWedding.com - $4750
TheBrangelinaWedding.com - $4750
MrandMrsBradPitt.com - $3250

That's a lot of domain names this fellow has purchased — but surely it'll pay off. Right? It's gotta, right? Right? Anyhow, we can't fathom coughing up a single penny for BrangelinaWedding.com, nevermind $4750. But if you're in the business of psychotically snatching up domain names and are interested, we've got some comparison figures for you:

UsWirelessPhones.com - $7500
Diarrheal.com - $2850
DarfurSudan.com - $600
StopTerrorism.com - $160

Happy shopping.

'New York' Magazine Can't Help But Pay Tribute to Other Media

Jessica — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 11:40:00 EDT

Paging Steven Klein: New York mag and photographer Serge Leblon just looove your work! In their annual fashion issue (yes, we weighed it; came in at one very questionable pound), it would seem that a photo spread starring Rachel Weisz and Justin Theroux bears a flattering resemblance to Klein's now-infamous W portfolio starring Brangelina. New York's "interpretation" doesn't really hold half a candle to the original, but you can't fault a little girl for trying to dress like her mommy. In the end, this is just another innocent case of Mossappropriation, the sincerest form of flattery.

Poor Man's Sexual Tension [Amp Power]
Related: Notes on 'New York's' Celebrity Infestation

Remainders: Justice for Brangelina

Jessica — Thu, 29 Jun 2006 19:10:58 EDT

• Brangelina's stolen baby shower photos are such a national treasure, the freaking FBI will raid your home to get them back. Tax dollars at work, people. [TMZ]
• Mo Rocca is on Star's side: by blindsiding Barbara Walters and quitting ahead of schedule, she spared us all the two-hour farewell episode from hell. [Fanatical Apathy]
• The Devil's assistant wears Prada, too. And she's shitty at keeping your rolodex up-to-date. [NYP]
• Meet Sarah Stillman, the Nation's Student Writing Contest winner. She will only win $1000, however, because that's what she gets for leaning left. [The Nation]
• The sky over Gristedes bawls "like a fucking constipated baby." Shouldn't this sort of hate be reserved for Duane Reade? [The Call Me Concha]
• There's already a Generation Z, and they're fashion bloggers. [WWD]
• Jane EIC Brandon Holley feeds readers pizza, but not so much that they won't fit into pretty new clothes. [Jossip]
• Natalie Portman and Eddie Izzard are, oddly enough, neck-and-neck for the lead in Cabaret. Such a toss-up, right? [Suicide Girls]

Gossip Roundup: It's the Summer of Stolen Photos

Jessica — Thu, 29 Jun 2006 12:59:02 EDT

• There's been an arrest in the case of Brangelina's stolen baby shower photos; still no clue who unleashed those horrid Britney pics, though. [R&M]
• In other Brangelina legal news: a Jordanian man tries to embezzle $23,000 with a fake ID bearing Brad Pitt's picture. [Reuters]
• Josh Duhamel pounds on a bathroom door at Vegas nightclub Bella, the occupant of which was taking too long. The door opens, out comes Tommy Lee, and suddenly Duhamel is on the floor. Never mess with a man's toot time. [Page Six]
• Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban's Tahitian honeymoon is crashed by Eva Longoria and Tony Parker, who are staying at the same resort, brining with them plenty of paparazzi. [IMDb]
• The ladies of The View are just a bunch of harpies. [NYDN]
• The Polish-American Congress brands Garry Trudeau a bigot because of a character named Kaminski in his Doonesbury cartoons. It would figure that a bunch of stupid polocks wouldn't get the joke. [Lowdown]
• The Glasgow Hilton refuses to give Paris Hilton a corporate discount. The Scotland tourism board couldn't have bought better publicity. [Page Six]
• A naked Pam Anderson just ain't what it used to be. [TMZ]

Gossip Roundup: Brangelina Baby Shower Photos Confuse the Masses

Jessica — Mon, 26 Jun 2006 12:34:13 EDT

• Stolen photos from Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's baby shower have made their way to the web, prompting lawyers to do their threatening, lawyerly thing. The images may be illegal, but is it so wrong that the people want to see Brangelina wearing the Laurel Touby fertility costume? Marvel at the image here. [TMZ]
• Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban tie the knot; Kidman wears 80's throwback gown by Balenciaga. [Us Weekly]
• After learning that her interview with Matt Lauer didn't do much to help her image, Britney Spears hires someone to take classy pictures. Alas, the pics and an interview were sold to OK! for a mere $5K — much less than Britney's $200K asking price. Only K-Fed fetches that kind of money nowadays. [Page Six]
• Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone bend to blackmail from the National Enquirer. [R&M]
• Steven Soderbergh's former agent, Pat Dollard, more or less calls George Clooney a pussy. [Page Six]

Gossip Roundup: Nicole, Keith Sign Romantic Prenup

Jessica — Fri, 23 Jun 2006 13:39:30 EDT

• These are Nicole Kidman's last moments as a single woman — she and Keith Urban will marry tomorrow in Sydney. Should things go by the wayside, Urban will get just $600K for every year of their marriage and not a single penny if he goes back to blowing rails. [Page Six]
• Speaking of powdering one's nose, producer Dallas Austin is currently in a Dubai prison for trying to smuggle drugs into the country. The occasion? Naomi Campbell's birthday party, of course. And she was pissed when he didn't make it. [R&M (2nd item)]
• Being famous is hard for Anderson Cooper — people offer him free stuff and know his name and ride in his car and want to be his friend. Poor Anderson. (Jesus, listen to us: are we headed towards a backlash? No, no. Just a rough spot, that's all.) [Lowdown]
• A paparazzo sketching around Maddox Jolie's daycare center is arrested for trespassing, though he didn't jump any fences or set foot on the center's grounds. He was just innocently, legally stalking. [TMZ]
• Drag queen Kevin Aviance, whose jaw was wired shut after he was beaten in a hate crime, will have his mouth set free for one day so that he can perform for Sunday's gay pride parade. Let's hope he sings his hit song "Cunty," if only so we can see how the Times covers it. [Page Six]
• American Idol runner-up Katharine McPhee will not let you forget about her, even if that means she has to pull the bulimia card. [People]
• Just in time for the premiere of Superman Returns, Kate Bosworth nears death. [Popsugar]
• Finally, thank God, the Coreys reunite — we're praying for License to Drive 2. They owe it to us, really. [E!]

Shiloh Learns to Use Her First Cash Register

Jessica — Fri, 23 Jun 2006 12:02:30 EDT

According to Keith Kelly's drinking buddies at Time Inc., People mag's Princess Shiloh issue sold about 2.3 million newsstand copies, compared to their usual run of 1.5 million. Combined with the issue's upped cover price of $3.99 (50 cents higher than usual), Shiloh may have netted People an extra $2.25 million profit. Unfortunately, that's not quite the $4 million the mag reportedly coughed up for the pictures, but the sheer, arrogant glory of having exclusive rights was surely worth the extra $1.75 million.

We know we certainly weren't going to pay for the Shiloh scrapbook, so who did?

Lad Mag's Coverup [NYP, 2nd item]

Remainders: Puffy and Dan Klores End the Affair

Jessica — Wed, 21 Jun 2006 19:15:44 EDT

Er, BREAKING: After 10 years of mutual love and support, Diddy and PR man Dan Klores are getting divorced. Word is that Puff left DK for another woman — Jill Fritzo at PMK. But just in case Diddy gets involved in another shooting, Klores is staying on a $1K/month retainer. Gotta keep the bases covered.

UPDATE: DKC has contacted us to clarify that they would never work for anyone for a sum so low as $1K and they insist that they are not on "standby" for any sort of "crisis." Now that Fritzo is claiming to be Diddy's number one, it's unclear what DKC's relationship is, but they'll be damned if you think they're cheap.

And now, the usual linkwrap:
• For once, Alessandra Stanley kind of has it right. What truly blew about the Cooper/Jolie interview was not Jolie herself, but the Coop. He was so busy bringing himself up to her super-crusader level, he forget to, like, do his job. [NYT]
• In fact, in all of two hours, there was less than a minute of Zahara talk, which is available for your condensed pleasure.
• Nevertheless, the interview was the #1 cable news program last night amongst young viewers, all of whom were left unsatisfied by the above clip. [TV Newser]
• Spiderman 3 is filming in Cobble Hill tomorrow; keep an eye out for Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams to lead a protest down Smith Street. [Brooklyn Record]
• Six Columbus? Not so much. [Hotel Chatter]
• There's MySpace, then there's AdvertisersSpace — which is still MySpace, but not. You follow? [NYT]
• Did we know that Rolling Stone is finally blogging regularly? [Rock Daily]
• The profound weirdness of Anne Hathaway's photo shoot for Jane, courtesy of pizza delivery boys and the Killers. [Jane]
• Existential crisis du jour: is masturbating to porn mags online as depressing as masturbating to regular old internet porn? [FishbowlNY]

Blogging Angelina Jolie and Anderson Cooper

Jessica — Wed, 21 Jun 2006 10:39:08 EDT

Anderson Cooper had the honor of conducting Angelina Jolie's first American interview since giving birth to baby Shiloh, and oh, how we were excited. It was certain to be a night full of gossip and girl talk, laughter and tears. But Coop, love him as we may, is no Barbara Walters. There was no soft lighting, no tears, no hard-hitting questions about Jennifer Aniston. Instead, we were faced unbelievable boredom: two straight hours of Jolie effusively discussing the plight of refugees, her face lighting up with every new country she could name-check. There was no new information (except that Zahara is jealous of the new baby, which is positively earth-shattering).

After the jump, our minute-by-minute play of two hours of profound disappointment.

10:01 Tonight, the journey that brought them together and changed their life — it's the world's most melodramatic intro, most appropriate for Angelina's mission to "SAVE the WORLD...The most famous mother in the world...giving birth for the first time..." Cue exotic bumper music. What, no Ladysmith Black Mambazo?

10:03 SHE SPEAKS. No new-mommy glow, no Britney boobs. Actually, she could use some makeup. Doesn't matter how gorgeous you are — no one can go it on winged eyeliner alone.

10:04 Coop and Angie will waste no time destroying your heartstrings. First up, Sierra Leone. Angelina says it's awful, Anderson really feels her.

10:05 News break. Sorry lady, but your starving refugees are no slaughtered soldiers.

10:17 We're learning to love the "Her Mission & Motherhood" logo and it's ethnic, Print Shop-esque font.

10:18 Anderson says this is airing on CNN International and is being seen in 200 countries. He can barely conceal his erection.

10:19 Rundown of everywhere Angelina has visited, refugee camps galore, children with flies on their faces — the imagery won't stop. If possible, it's making us even less sensitive to the cause.

10:21 She's given a third of her income to refugee causes. "Yeah, well, I have a stupid income for what I do," she explains. Agreed.

10:22 After her initial travels abroad, Angelina had to face a real challenge and go to the Golden Globes. While it may have seemed such a trivial activity, she saw "the human side" of everyone there. Great, a hallucinatory earth mother.

10:24 Oh, Anderson — we're only 24 minutes in and you pulled the cloying Bono comparison. Come now. Need you really give them both such sloppy, blatant head?

10:25 Coop: "I also read, and I hope I'm not being too forward..." Ah, here's the juice, something actually interesting. "...that the UN Declaration of Human Rights is very close to you..." Oh fuck off. Cocktease.

10:27 It's really difficult for Angelina to take a position on the war in Iraq, as the situation doesn't involve adorable, African orphans.

10:33 More exotic intro music, more pictures of Angelina determinedly looking off into the African skyline, more babies with flies on them. Holy shit, this is running two hours?

10:34 Anderson talks about his trip to Niger and how two children he visited died while he was there; the pictures and video he took are the only remaining images of those kids. We're momentarily softened.

10:35 Angelina saw a child die, too. And she won't stop talking about it. Nevermind about that softened thing.

10:36 Anderson cues up footage from Niger. No Angelina, no increasingly irritating winged eyeliner — just sweet, sweet relief.

10:41 It must be contractually obligated that 360 give disturbing stats at every bumper, complete with the UN Commission for Human Rights hotline number. If this doesn't get better, we might have to call.

10:45 Really, we're starting to hate orphans.

10:45 Angelina's adoption spree rundown inevitably leads to our first Shiloh mention. THANK YOU JESUS.

10:46 No, dammit, it's back to Namibia. Shiloh is but an innocent vehicle for the Namibian plight.

10:47 Anderson really wants to know what it's like giving birth, the poor thing. Angelina explains the C-section was because the baby was in breach. No mention of herpes, alas.

10:48 "Next, we'll adopt." Diabolic sunbeams shoot from Angelina's eyes. Is she actually planning it? "Yeah... We don't know which country." Note the "we" — she and Brad aren't just fucking. They're an starving baby rescue team.

10:49 Please, please make the dying baby montage stop. We will never commit a charitable act for so long as we live if the pictures don't stop.

10:53 Uganda offers a "case study" of the magnitude of the problem. Cue correspondent on grainy, live phone-cam.

11:01 Halfway there, gang. Have yourself a tequila shot and chase it with some Robitussin. You've earned it.

11:02 Anderson recaps, replays Angelina's most selfless quote about owing it to refugees to do this interview, despite her exhaustion. She's like their publicity Jesus.

11:03 Oh God — an amputee refugee camp. Make it stop. As if this were a situation where one needs to up the ante.

11:06 Babies blah blah starving blah blah motherhood blah. We're not liking the winged eyeliner, and it looks like her bottom lip is dangerously close to splitting in the middle. We once saw a woman who had a split lip like that on Extreme Makeover.

11:07 Did she just mention the Balkans? Seriously, focus. Pick a continent and stick with it.

11:08 Anderson says a child is orphaned every 14 seconds. You can see the wheels turning in his head.

11:09 It took them this long to get to Darfur. Angelina looks pissed that she's not hit Sudan yet.

11:19 Angelina is now talking about refugee children that have come to the United States. These children, she explains, don't matter nearly as much, as they simply do not lend themselves to dramatic, exotic footage.

11:21 A segment on a shelter for young refugees in Arizona. See? Not exotic. Pathetic, but not exotic.

11:27 Ooh, a commercial for Wordplay.

11:28 This might be the best segment of the entire show: Anderson Cooper reporting from Rwanda in 1994. Floppy, Hugh Grant hair in the early stages of gray. Like a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, this geeky correspondent will someday become the Silver Fox.

11:30 If you thought the amputee refugee camp was bad, now they're showing children in the Congo whose hands and limbs have been cut off by machetes. Our stomach turns, but only because we have to hear Angelina Jolie talk about how awful it is.

11:42 Discussion of Zahara as an AIDS orphan — she's not HIV positive, but if she were, Angelina would've still adopted her. Angelina is just that good. Zahara did, however, have salmonella poisoning. And look how she was saved.

11:44 Now it's just recycled interview clips from the first half of the show. This is officially infuriating.

11:50 First Brad Pitt name-drop: "After the birth of Shiloh, you and Brad Pitt issued a statement..." And that's it. We're back to the lack of medical equipment in Namibia.

11:55 At this point, we're actually relieved to see Dr. Sanjay Gupte.

11:59 It's over. Done. 2 hours, and you've got nothing to show for it but a reinvigorated dislike of Angelina Jolie and a profound disappointment in the Coop. Like he doesn't read Star? Like he doesn't have real questions?

Remainders: 99 Problems and Beyonce Is One

Jessica — Mon, 19 Jun 2006 19:20:00 EDT

• Completely unsubstantiated but nonetheless interesting: Are Jay-Z and Beyonce officially over? Does Jigga prefer the less-bootylicious Rihanna? Will Beyonce's dad resolve the issue with a shotgun? [Social Rank]
• Like an udder on a thick-lipped cow, Anderson Cooper milks his interview with Angelina Jolie, airing tomorrow night. He clarifies that People's $4 million Shiloh fee did not include a guarantee that he'd get first interview; rather, Jolie picked the Coop because she knew he wouldn't try to do her. [360 Blog]
• It's Christmas in June: Danny Meyer's ShackCam goes live! Updated every 5 seconds, it's the ultimate tool in planning your meal schedule. May it bring all of Manhattan together and working towards organizing dining, so as to forevermore avoid intolerable lines. [Eater]
• One of Brooklyn's beloved Jonathans writes an open, overwrought letter to Frank Gehry; if all the Jonathans would combine their powers, they could create a Super Letter, so strung-out that not even the most hardened developer could look away. [Slate
• What if Brokedown Palace involved a pair of jeans? [Wired]
• You can now purchase a clear cube full of authentic NYC garbage. Just goes to show that if you package a turd properly, someone will buy it. [NYC Garbage]
• GMA kisses Prince's boots, builds him a fortress. [OAN]
• Edward Champion ups the Okrent cocksucking metaphor to slightly uncomfortable, albeit satirical, levels. [EdRants]
• Performance art on a Monday morning is simply unacceptable. [Animal]
• Crackheadz Gone Wild: New York features raw, uncensored footage of local drug addicts on spring break, going crazy for Mardi Gras beads. [Metro]

Anderson Cooper Gets 1/5 of Brangelina Brood

Jessica — Fri, 16 Jun 2006 09:16:46 EDT

Let's start this lovely morning with something of great, pressing import: a glitter-sprinkled press release brings news that our dear Anderson Cooper, Chelsea's beloved prince, will be interviewing Angelina Jolie in her first U.S. television interview since the birth of the world's sexiest baby. Naturally, Coop had to submit to doing it under the guise of a serious look at African refugees and airing it on World Refugee Day (June 20), but you know he won't let her leave without talking some Shiloh.

Angelina: "I love being a mother, it comes very naturally to me..."

Anderson: "Ohmahgah, I just don't know how you do it! Three little babies and they're all so cute — I'd be so enraptured with those precious things that I'd forget to feed 'em, I swear. They're so perfect, I just want to take them and sit them with my porcelain dolls!"

CNN's full release after the jump.

Media Advisory
For Release: June 15, 2006
Exclusive: CNN's Anderson Cooper Interviews Angelina Jolie

Jolie's First U.S. Television Interview since Daughter's Birth to Air on Anderson Cooper 360 on Tuesday, June 20

In her first U.S. television interview since the birth of her daughter, Angelina Jolie spoke with CNN's Anderson Cooper about her work with refugees in Africa and around the world as well as the birth of her daughter in Namibia last month. The exclusive interview will air on Tuesday, June 20, as part of a special edition of Anderson Cooper 360 marking World Refugee Day from 10 p.m. to midnight (ET). Jolie sat down with Cooper for nearly an hour earlier this week in Los Angeles.

In addition to the Jolie interview, Anderson Cooper 360 will feature reports from chief international correspondent Christiane Amanpour and Africa correspondent Jeff Koinange about poverty, famine and refugee camps across Africa. Senior medical correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta also will provide reports about specific healthcare challenges for refugees around the world.

Cooper, whose Dispatches from the Edge is the No. 1 hardcover nonfiction book on The New York Times bestsellers list, has seen significant ratings gains for his prime-time program. In May 2006, Anderson Cooper 360 experienced its most-watched month in total viewers since it moved to the 10 p.m. block in November 2005, posting a 53 percent increase in both total viewers and adults 25- to 54-years-old over May 2005. Online, the "360 Blog" has become a popular venue for reports and analysis from the program's contributing correspondents as well as posted comments from online users. Since its launch in February 2006, the blog has had more than 12.6 million page views.

Anderson Cooper 360 is a wide-ranging, unconventional news program that takes a full 360-degree look at the world's events. The program showcases CNN's worldwide newsgathering capabilities as well as Anderson Cooper's unique sensibilities and perspective through a diverse range of live reports and interviews. Anderson Cooper 360 airs on CNN/U.S. each weekday from 10 p.m. to midnight (ET).
CNN Worldwide, a division of Turner Broadcasting System, Inc., a Time Warner Company, is one of the world's most respected and trusted sources for news and information. Its reach extends to nine cable and satellite television networks; one private place-based network; two radio networks; wireless devices around the world; four Web sites, including CNN.com, the first major news and information Web site; CNN Pipeline, an on-demand broadband video service; CNN Newsource, the world's most extensively syndicated news service; and partnerships for four television networks and one Web site.

Remainders: Shouldn't Shiloh Really Be Selling Condoms or the Pill?

Jessica — Wed, 14 Jun 2006 18:50:14 EDT

• People mag has a major opportunity for you, cash-throwing advertiser — placement of your ad space near Shiloh. Dodge takes the bait. Is there anything that baby can't sell? [LeftLane]
• Without Pete Doherty, would the British press simply cease to exist? Every single day, the crackhead inspires a new, stupid story. Today, he's found Jesus. Tomorrow, he'll have found another rusty syringe. [FF]
• Just another reason to loathe Bill O'Reilly, courtesy of his 10-room Manhasset estate. [Cryptome]
• A Suicide Girl attempts to spend 7 days straight in the Fifth Avenue Apple Store (open 24 hours). If David Blaine had any thunder, this might steal some of it. [SuicideGirls]
• It's kind of sad when construction workers would rather read the WSJ than ogle your ass. [Things That Make You Go Hmmm]
• Marc Jacobs dumps his boyfriend; not even the twink's Marc Jacobs tattoo could lube the relationship. [Towleroad]
• Way up at 158th Street rests Safety City, "a special place to how to cross streets, drive bicycles, and ride in cars safely." [Amish in the City]
• An extra to-do for you tonight: John Mayer will be testing his skills at the Comedy Cellar at 11 PM. His comedy skills, that is. Panty-throwing still appropriate. [BWE]
• Eva Longoria is determined to prove that she can be just as annoying through the written word, thus her forthcoming erotic novel, to be ghostwritten by the editors of Maxim. [BookStandard]
• In their defense, only porn is going to distract Katrina victims from their problems. [CNN]
• From the creators of the Greg Gutfeld Show comes Keira Knightley's Jaw, a blog documenting exactly that. Better than Keira Knightley's Pout, which just makes you want to punch things. [Keira Knightley's Jaw]

The Battle of Shiloh: A Look Back

Jessica — Mon, 12 Jun 2006 10:38:46 EDT

The Times takes a look at last week's Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt debacle, in which evil, lawless websites like this one posted Hello! magazine's "inexplicably" leaked, multimillion-dollar cover image of the world's most important child. Says People managing editor Larry Hackett:

Mr. Hackett conceded that all of the reproductions of the photographs might increase interest in the magazine. "I must confess, I think it helps," he said. "Clearly, the blogs have betrayed a huge amount of interest in these photographs and people want to see them."

After countless hours spent bickering with Time Inc.'s Dickensian counsel Nick Jollymore, this is what we get. For once, we let ourselves go, allowing our loins to be melted by a man's cotton velvet coattails and gold monocle — only to find that our hearts were manipulated in a clever ruse. And you wonder why we're always so bitter.

In Web Era, Big Money Can't Buy an Exclusive [NYT]
Earlier: The Battle of Shiloh

'New York' Knew That Baby Was Coming, But Not Much Else

Jessica — Fri, 09 Jun 2006 14:30:30 EDT

New York has taken a moment to remind us all that they had done a cover story on their predictions for the Brangelina baby photos, along with staged photo shoots that look somewhat similar to the actual photos. See? They took a picture on a bed, and there was a real picture on a bed — they got it right!

In a remarkable display of self-awareness, the mag takes it further upon itself to go back and look at whether or not their other predictions were accurate, coming to the conclusion that they were, um, kind of maybe right about some stuff. Thankfully, the Observer's Media Mob tallies it up the score:

TOTALS: 1 CORRECT, 7 WRONG, 1 UNKNOWN

But wait — there were several more predictions that New York had made, none of which were revisited. How about those?

BONUS ROUND: 1 CORRECT, 4 WRONG

At least they got the parents' names right.

New York Magazine: We Were Almost Entirely Wrong About Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt [Media Mob]
Better Than the Real Thing? [NYM]

Gossip Roundup: America's First Family Returns

Jessica — Fri, 09 Jun 2006 12:15:59 EDT

• Brangelina, Shiloh, and "those other kids" plan on returning to Malibu this weekend. When their plane touches American soil, our country will celebrate the reclaiming of our national treasures. [TMZ]
• After his jokes about Brokeback Mountain, Howard Stern gets snubbed by Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams. At Nobu, no less, for bonus shaming points. [Page Six]
• For every tabloid tell-all book, there's a spurned ex-boyfriend getting a gun permit. In Bridget Harrison's Tabloid Love, it's the Post's Jesse Angelo; for Deborah Schoeneman's 4% Famous, it's Rocco DiSpirito. [R&M (2nd item)]
• 59-year-old actor James Woods is now dating his daughter, 20-year-old Ashley Madison. [Lowdown]
• Barbra Streisand tours again! Cue fainting Gays! [IMDb]
• Fake David Cross is to the East Village and Lower East Side as Fake Jimmy Buffet is to the Hamptons. [Page Six]

Shiloh Makes Money for Ronn [sic] Torossian

Jessica — Fri, 09 Jun 2006 09:27:03 EDT

So much for ignoring someone until they go away: it's been some time since we dignified the existence of 5W Public Relations' cracky despot Ronn [sic] Torossian, and yet he refuses to fade into the ether. Case in point: he's managed to find a way to flack off of the most important event of the century, the birth of Shiloh Jolie-Pitt. Yes, Ronn knows that newborn babies are an incredible PR opportunity(!), and the parents shouldn't be the only ones who get exploit little cutesy-wutesy. That shirt Shiloh is wearing in her lucrative pictures? Why, it's designed by Kingsley and available at Belly Maternity — and it was delivered to Africa, courtesy of Ronn's carrier pigeons. SCORE!

After the jump, the press release gloats about "product placement at its finest," and Ronn reveals his plan to tattoo celebrity babies with his clients' logos.

5W PUBLIC RELATIONS SECURES THE TOP CELEBRITY PRODUCT PLACEMENT OPPORTUNITY IN THE WORLD - SHILOH NOUVEL JOLIE PITT

Product Placement at its Finest - Los Angeles Celebrity Product Placement Division of 5W Successfully Places Belly Maternity Product in the Most Anticipated Baby Photo of All Time

LOS ANGELES / NEW YORK - June 8, 2006 - 5W Public Relations, named the nation's fastest growing PR firm two years in a row, announced today their success of one of the most important product placement opportunities in the world - securing client Belly Maternity product to be worn in the first image published of the most anticipated baby of all time, Shiloh Nouvel Jolie Pitt.

According to New York Magazine, "Not since Jesus has a baby been so eagerly anticipated" and publications across the world are in agreement. Prices have gone through the roof in the past two or three years, and Alan Williams, head of celebrity agency Big Pictures, told Reuters: "The first pictures of Brad and Angelina with the baby are a massive opportunity."

The new born "T", hand picked by 5W Public Relations for Shiloh from the collection at Belly Maternity (www.bellymaternity.com) and designed by Los Angeles designer Kingsley, is a model of strategy, speed and persistence - and an example of PR done right. It was delivered to Africa.

"It's product placement at it's finest. I am very proud. It's a perfect reflection of our work. Consumer product placement is a huge component of any clients' public relations outreach. We are extremely proud of our entire consumer team who works tirelessly; making sure our clients products make it into the right hands," said Ronn Torossian, President & CEO of 5W Public Relations.

Belly Maternity is one of several clients achieving marketable success under 5W Public Relations Celebrity Product Placement and Mom and Baby Divisions of New York and Los Angeles. Other successful placements and celebrity product affiliations have included leading names such as Jennifer Garner, Gwen Stefani, Gwyneth Paltrow, Britney Spears, Heidi Klum, Melania Trump and Angelina Jolie; among many others.

ABOUT 5W PUBLIC RELATIONS

Headquartered in New York, with an office in Los Angeles, 5W Public Relations (www.5wpr.com ), the nation's fastest growing independent PR firm for 2005 & 2004, maintains practice areas specializing in technology, corporate, consumer, celebrity, entertainment, crisis communications, Investor Relations, event management and public affairs. Described by a leading PR trade magazine as "aggressive in a way that clearly resonates with clients looking for a firm staffed with type A-plus personalities, a BS-free approach, and results from Day One," 5W's culture is aggressive, energetic, fast-paced and focused. The Company boasts a diversified client roster second to none, including: Fortune 100 mainstay EDS, Evian Bottled Water, NICE Systems, VeriSign, McDonald's Corporation, the 5th largest Internet travel agency, 530 store retail chain United Retail Group/Avenue Stores, The Pritkin Longevity Center & Spa, celebrities including NBA Star Jalen Rose, Lil' Kim, Ice Cube, Ciara, Nick Cannon and producer Scott Storch. The agency was named "Boutique Agency of The Year" by a leading PR Trade Magazine.

The Battle of Shiloh: We Fought the Good Fight

Jessica — Thu, 08 Jun 2006 17:15:33 EDT

As these things inevitably go, it would seem that the web has gotten its intangible hands on a solid handful of copyrighted images from Brangelina and Shiloh's session at the Sears Portrait Studio. And while we will gladly look at the pictures, coo like idiots, and then link to places where they can be found, we just can't post them. We can and will stand on our fair-use high horse all we want about a thumbnail pic of the Hello! cover (which, per our original offer to Time Inc. counsel Nick Jollypants, we have now changed to the People cover), but we really can't use the same justification for the fuzzy, cloying photos floating around from Hello!. Sorry — but this time, turns out that posting the pics actually is illegal. Or so we're told. Our lawyer could just be drunk and not wanting to deal. Whatever. We're still working through the first round of legal woes from 2 days ago, and we can't even keep track of what we are and aren't allowed to do anymore.

More Pics of the Messiah! [Dlisted]
Brad Pitt Just Murdered 100 Kittens [Mollygood]
Meet Shiloh Again [Teddy & Moo's Place]

Gossip Roundup: Getting to Know the Manny

Jessica — Thu, 08 Jun 2006 12:15:41 EDT

• Britney's manny — revealed! The ginger gentleman is 28-year-old Naval Academy grad Perry Taylor, who's really just one of Britney's bodyguards. Nowadays, that obviously means guarding her baby's body, too. [TMZ]
• As for her hubby, the inimitable K-Fed, he'd really appreciate it if you'd all respect one another on MySpace. [Lowdown (last item)]
• LA has designated some parking spaces for the mentally handicapped, allowing Paris Hilton to park just that much closer to her emergency crotch doctors. [Page Six]
• Brangelina deny any plans to get married, preferring that Shiloh remain a beautiful bastard. [IMDb]
• Larry Flynt is sued for sexual harrassment by a former employee. If you're working for that man, you really should know that "loud, obnoxious, and repeated noises of sexual gratification" just mean that the company's doing well — and who doesn't want a holiday bonus. [R&M]
• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' prenup will give her $3 million for every year they remain married, up to $33 million. Which is almost enough money to buy back her blackened, captive soul. [Scoop]

The Battle of Shiloh: So Does This Mean We're Off the Hook?

Jessica — Thu, 08 Jun 2006 09:19:56 EDT

Well, hello there! People's Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt issue hits the newsstands tomorrow, and the local tabs are on those pictures like stink on baby shit. Because they're wily, the Daily News doesn't have the picture online — so clever, making us buy the paper so we can see this mysterious baby everyone's talking about.

People's managing editor Larry Hackett was just on the Today show to plug the issue — as if he needed to — but refused to reveal how much they paid for the pictures. About the leaked photos, Hackett said, "We'll challenge people who put them up illegally. This is not finders keepers." So why, then, asks Matt Lauer, would you allow a handful of pictures to be reprinted in the local papers? Won't that hurt People's newsstand sales? "If you go to a restaurant and have an appetizer, you have dinner afterwards." Touche. And so the world continues to dine on fresh baby meat.

Braddy's Girl [NYP]
Earlier: Gawker's Coverage of the Battle of Shiloh

The Battle of Shiloh: Keith Kelly's Fun With Numbers

Jessica — Wed, 07 Jun 2006 11:12:57 EDT

In his column today, merry media man Keith Kelly reports that American OK! and Us Weekly just missed winning the rights to the baby pictures of Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt, both bidding in the $4 million range but losing to People's $4.1 million (and to what length they'll go to get their money's worth). And since they were already tossing around the petty cash, People went ahead and bid $5 million for worldwide rights, but Getty laughed in their face. Kelly also reveals that Hello! paid around $3.5 million for British rights, then introduces us to his special brand of math:

People's $4.1 million deal for U.S. rights
+
Hello's $3.5 million deal for U.K. rights
=
"People's reputed deal [...] a bargain by comparison."

Picture This: $10M [NYP]
Earlier: The Battle of Shiloh

The Battle of Shiloh

Jessica — Tue, 06 Jun 2006 18:20:24 EDT

You post one little picture of Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt and, within seconds, the suits start calling. As it turns out, the Hello! cover photo of Shiloh and her sexy baby lips is very much authentic, so much so that Time Inc. lawyers were all up in our grill within an hour of this morning's posting. As we were informed by Time Inc. counsel Nick Jollymore (cute!), by posting the Hello! cover, Gawker was infringing on People's very exclusive, very expensive U.S. rights to the baby pictures. We think it's small enough to fall under fair use, and we'd gladly replace the Hello! cover with a People one featuring the baby, but no dice. And so Time Inc. continues on its counseled quest, creating almost enough fun to distract everyone from their more dismal problems.

After the jump, dance the legal disco and trip the copyright fantastic.

From: Nick Jollymore
To: Lockhart Steele

Dear Mr. Steel:

We will be sending you more formal legal notices shortly. Gawker's posting of the Hello! Magazine cover with Angelina Jolie and Bradd Pitt is an infringements of Time Inc.'s exclusive rights to that photograph. I need to talk to you or your attorney immediate.

Nick Jollymore
Deputy General Counsel
Time Inc.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

From: Lockhart Steele
To: Nick Jollymore
Cc: Gaby Darbyshire

Mr. Jollymore,

The individual at Gawker who handles our legal matters, Gaby Darbyshire, is traveling today. I've cc'd her on this correspondence.

As part of Gawker's ongoing coverage of the media industry, we're firm in our right to report on Hello's treatment of the story, one of the biggest celebrity media news stories of the year. The Hello cover appears at thumbnail size and with links to the blog, D-listed, where we sourced the image from, per our image usage policies.

Should People wish for us to substitute a cover of its magazine featuring the image in lieu of the Hello cover, we'd be amenable.

Sincerely,
Lockhart Steele
Managing Editor
Gawker Media

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—--
From: Nick Jollymore
To: Lockhart Steele

Dear Mr. Steele:

Your thumbnail is 2.5 x 3.5 inches on my screen. With all respect, this is not "fair use" but willful copyright infringement in an attempt to use a valuable photograph to enhance your site even though you have obtained no rights to do so.

The Time Inc. Law Department is coordinating with the lawyers for Hello!. Matthew Higdon, who acts for Hello! in the UK, authorized me to inform you that under U.K. law there is not even a colorable claim that Gawker's posting of the Hello! cover is within the bounds of "fair use." As you know, the copyright law in the U.K. is much less flexible in this respect than the law of the U.S. Gawker can be sued in the U.S. by both Time Inc. and the publisher of Hello!

Hello! and Time Inc. are coordinating our pursuit of websites which have posted the Hello! cover. The first step is an notice, which is also the last step if the sites take the cover down immediately. If they do not, we are coordinating legal action.

I repeat my demand that Gawker take down the Hello! cover immediately.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—--

From: Lockhart Steele
To: Nick Jollymore
Cc: Gaby Darbyshire

Mr. Jollymore,

Checking the thumbnail in question in Photoshop, I found it to be 160 pixels across. Pursuant to the Google Image Search standard of 150 pixels, I've had our editor resize the thumbnail appropriately.

We stand by our belief that the image, which we have never displayed outside the context of Hello's treatment of it nor at anything larger than thumbnail size, is an important news media story that is within our rights to cover as part of our reporting on the celebrity media industry.

Sincerely,
Lockhart Steele
Managing Editor
Gawker Media

UPDATE: Goodbye, Hello!. Since People's cover is now widely available, we're going to stop wasting our beer money on legal fees and just use that instead.

Gossip Roundup: 'People' Kidnaps Shiloh for $4.1m

Jessica — Tue, 06 Jun 2006 12:17:12 EDT

• And the award goes to... People magazine, who won the Getty Images' first pictures of baby Shiloh for a mere $4.1 million. Props to Getty for making them scramble and outbid each other until 6 in the morning. [Page Six]
• While you organize a hunger strike until People publishes the pics, do enjoy the questionable image at right. At any rate, the baby's lips look real. [Dlisted]
• Former ReganBooks slave Bridie Clark pulls a Weisberger and skewers Judith Regan in her forthcoming roman a clef, Because She Can. If the movie looks half as good as Devil Wears Prada, we approve. [Lowdown]
• Crazy Barbara Davis defends her greasy grandson Brandon's comments about Lindsay Lohan's firecrotch, telling people that Lindsay and Brandon are dating now. Not true, says Lohan's rep, but delusional old ladies sure are cute. [Page Six]
• Delusional teen talents are cute, too: Lindsay Lohan drops out her latest project, Bill, because the directors aren't as awesome as Brett Ratner. [IMDb]
• Nicole Kidman schedules her June 25 wedding to Keith Urban for the evening hours, so as to thwart the paparazzi. If she'd just give in and let Getty take some pictures, Nicole could use the money to feed all of Angelina's Namibian leftovers. [Scoop]
• Born-again Christian Stephen Baldwin is irrelevant because the Lord wants it that way. [R&M]
• Elapsed time since Britney and K-Fed were last photographed together: 97 days and counting. [Us Weekly]