We thought that the Salahi's at the White House state dinner would make an excellent conclusion to the first season of the show, and a helpful tipster who's a friend of the Salahis' friends tells us that was exactly the plan. Actually, the Salahis have long been on the short list of show contenders, including this September article on New York Social Diary that names the cast and says taping is starting any day. A (somewhat dubious) Facebook page dedicated to the Real Housewives of D.C. says filming started September 15 with no attribution. The two seem to corroborate each other.

If the filming did start then, it would give them about two and a half months to shoot, which is pretty standard for a reality show (and would mean it was filming concurrently with the Real Housewives of New York).

Bravo says that it hasn't decided who will be on the show. Still, there is proof that they were filming earlier in November, thanks to these pics on MediaBistro, that include a sign that says film crews are taping for the Real Housewives of D.C. Suburban Virginia newspaper, the Sherando Times, says that the whole cast of the show—including the Salahis—were filmed the weekend of November 7 at the couple's Oasis Winery in Hume, Virginia. The article says the police were called to a taping at the winery the week previous, which puts the start date at least at October 31.

Update: A spokesperson for Bravo says that filming began in September but they are still "weeks and weeks" away from completing the filming, but would not comment on the end date because they never comment on productions that are in the works. The rep confirmed that Michaele Salahi is one of a group of women being followed for the show, but that the final cast will not be announced for at least "a month or two."

Now all the pieces are starting to click together: the party crash, the filming schedule, the canceled Larry King appearance, the Bravo contract that landed them on the Today show. It's going to be hard to deny that the couple is part of the show (unless all this footage is scrapped and they're edited out), and Bravo is going to have to start answering questions about what they knew about these two crashing the White House and when (the Bravo rep says the couple informed the production company they had been invited to the state dinner, and were shown preparing for and entering the event, but the camera crew stopped at the security gate and that the network had no knowledge of the invitation). Did they put them up to the stunt? Were they in the Howard Johnson's filming the Salahis rummaging the Democratic National Committee offices in the Watergate apartment building? It's like a good, old-fashioned Washington scandal—reality TV style.

When the news broke that this pair of party crashers who let themselves in to a White House state dinner last week were trying to get on the upcoming Real Housewives of D.C., the idea made complete sense. A rep from Bravo told Variety, "The decision as to who will be included in the series will not be made for several months. We are continuing with the production of the show. However, specifics with respect to the Salahis are yet to be determined."

Now that the thought has been floated (and there's a contract already in place), it has to happen, and here are all the reasons why.

• Publicity: Even if the couple goes to jail for defrauding the secret service, it would be worth it to Bravo to pay their legal bills to have them on the show. All of the Real Housewives' public appearances and personal scandals help get viewers to the show, but no one has yet pulled off a feat like this. These two have hijacked the national conversation and gotten the as-yet-unproduced show priceless advanced buzz. They already have plenty of news footage of these two attending the dinner. Just add in some interviews and you have a blockbuster of a premiere episode that scores of curious people will tune into.
• 
  
• This Is the Mother of All Housewives Stunts: Yes, Teresa in New Jersey flipped a table while screaming "prostitution whore." Bethenny and Kelly had a bitter feud in New York. Sheree pulled of Kim's wig in Atlanta, and Kim came back to pop culture with an amazingly bad/catchy single "Tardy for the Party." None of these people ever broke the fucking law! As far as bad taste crazy behavior goes, these two have already perfected the art.
• 
  
• They Fit the Bill: Michaele and Tareq (see, they have exotic, reality TV show names that do not exist in nature—at least for white folks) are dubiously-employed, conventionally-attractive and willing to do anything to be famous. If they aren't crafting their lives after stereotypes from the Bravo show, then they are organically the perfect specimens for this type of reality television. They are like Alex and Simon from New York writ large—reaching to be Ritzy upper crust while on a Saltine budget. They're even pretentiously into polo for fuck's sake. Nothing smacks of "trying to look richer than we are" than polo!
• 
  
• We Wouldn't Watch Otherwise: Orange County has the original shallow Housewives, New York has the craven social climbers, Atlanta has African-American ladies, and New Jersey has guido pseudo-mafia wives. What does D.C. have? The bland partners of Republican lobbyists? The Second Assistant Secretary of the Census who is a lady and happens to like high heels? D.C. is boring and full of bland, boring people. We don't want to sit around and giggle at Kitty because her husband couldn't get an amendment into House Bill 4763. The Salahis are some serious reality TV show ballers who are willing to go to jail to get attention. That is some shit we want to see.
• 
  
• Politics Needs Them: This thing is creating national news and getting politics in tabloid culture in a way that hasn't happened since Levi Johnston stripped off almost all his clothes (yes, we're still bitter there was no peen) for Playgirl. If you want people to care about what happens in Washington it isn't going to be by explaining the "public option" during the State of the Union. It's going to be by having craven attention seekers crashing your parties. Come on, D.C. Show us the old razzle dazzle!

That's right, last night during the disastrous season six finale, Lifetime announced that season seven will debut on the network the second week in January. It's a good thing too, because after this awful, rushed season, both Lifetime and Bunim/Murray, who produces the show, need to show that they can make a good season. Maybe season six was like the muslin version of a gown that a couturier makes so she can figure out what she's doing and next season will be the finished red-carpet ready product. Let's hope.

So, onto last night's finale. Irina, Althea, and Carol Hannah all showed their 13-look collections in Bryant Park during fashion week (way back in February). We actually found some things to love about it, but first:

Things We Hate:

• Crying: Everyone cried. Althea cried, Carol Hannah cried, Irina cried, Irina's parents cried, Tim Gunn cried into his handkerchief backstage that he still has three seasons left on his contract. Everyone cried except Cry-stopher, which was strange. We love drama, but all this excessive crying just makes us want to, well, weep.
• The Other Designers: We didn't even like Logan, Cry-stopher, and Gordana before they were kicked off, and we don't want to see them around again. They really had nothing to add. If the producers wanted to do something interesting, they would have brought back the first three designers kicked off. They all sucked! Imagine weeping Carol Hannah having to deal with Malvin of egg dress fame. Awesome.
• Cry-stopher's Eyebrows: While we're at it, let's talk about Cry-stopher some more, because his eyebrows were so drawn on, he looked like a third-rate drag queen doing an impersonation of Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford, but without the camp. And why, for fuck's sake, didn't he go to the L'Oreal Paris Make Up room to have them at least draw them on symmetrically.
• Fake Introductions: We all know that the final collections were filmed back in February when the show was still embroiled in about 23 different lawsuits and they were trying to keep production details a big secret. All the press accounts of the runway show mention that the designers made no appearances at all. So, what was up with the fake introductions they each gave their collection? Did they assemble a faux audience and recreate the set and film the introductions then? Or did they do it later that day, but with a cast of extras instead of the general public and a bunch of media types? And did they think that we wouldn't notice?
• Irina Invented the Smokey Eye: It really irked us when Irina accused Althea of stealing her makeup scheme for the final show. As if she just heard what Irina wanted and copied her. Oh, because smudged makeup has never been done before ever in the history of fashion or the world. You made it up, Irina! We know you think otherwise, but you are not original. You didn't invent any of the ideas you have accused Althea of stealing. And all of fashion, like most other art, is about stealing and reappropriating anyway. And this coming from a girl who stole T-shirt designs—twice!
• Heidi's Pink Outfit: It wasn't as horrible as the pink ruffle shirt and sparkly biker shorts she wore earlier in the season, but it looks—as Ms. Kors would say—very mother of the bride. Actually we think Endora wore it to a wedding once on Bewitched.
• No Celebrities: We've said this before, but part of the move to L.A. was supposed to be about getting great celebs as guests and judges. Who do they get for the finale? Suzy Menkes! Who? Exactly. Suzy is great and all (see below), but in the past we had Parker Posey, Debra Messing, Posh Spice, people who have great style and a little bit of pizazz. Suzy has the cred and would have been a great replacement for one of the two frequent absentee judges this season, but she is no finale judge. And if you're going to have another horrible year in L.A., then we want to see some serious star wattage!
• Cohesion: Making a collection of clothes that has cohesion is kind of like creating a concept album—the only people who care about it are industry types. It's not like there are women marching around who buy entire collections or want all their clothes for a season to look like they "tell a story." When everyone is downloading singles, who cares how all the songs sound together on an album? "Cohesion" is some bullshit that the fashion industrial complex cooked up and holds designers to when no one else really cares about it. The only time it looks good is in the 20 minutes when everything walks down the runway.
• No Color: Would it have killed you guys to do something other than shades of drab? Your collections all looked about as washed out as Tim Gunn after three weeks of swine flu!
• Nothing Stands Out: After watching the finale last night, I was thinking about the ghosts of finales of seasons past. Remember Jay McCarroll's multicolored tier tatter dress, Chloe Dao's sculpted satin gem-tone sheath, Daniel V's brown dress with the little embellished flap on the boobs, Santino Rice's babydolls with the breasts flying about, Laura Bennet's glamorous bedazzling, Michael Knight's mess of an urban collection, Christian Siriano's brown and white ruffled ball, Chris March's dresses made of human hair, Jillian Lewis' knits with the poodle tail sleeves, Kenley Collin's retro gowns, and Leanne Marshall's waves? Remember those? I can recall each of those collections distinctly from memory. I couldn't even describe one thing I saw last night other than Irina's stupid hats and Carol Hannah's lilac buttplug dress. That makes me sad.

Things We Loved:

• Tim Gunn Freaking Out: Finally, all the stress of the shitty season got to Grampa Gunn and he snapped. Brilliant. More about it in the videos.
• Jaslene!: Our favorite moment of every television year is when there is complete trashy fashion reality show synergy and contestants from America's Next Top Model strut the runway on Project Runway. The only one we noticed last night was the Cha-Cha Diva herself (and one of our favorite Top Models ever) Jaslene Gonzalez. One is more than enough.
• Suzy Menkes: Now we feel a little bad for picking on Suzy Menkes, the legendary fashion journalist and International Herald Tribune fashion editor. It wasn't fair to not tell us who she is and put her in front of the camera with There's Something About Mary hair and a sparkly gold coat. Of course we were going to crack jokes. We know she is a great writer and deserves all of our respect, but had no clue what she looked like. It's not fair to put her out like that without an id. Don't do that to poor Suzy Menkes. Make her look good.
• Ari Fish's Look: Remember Ari? She was the first one kicked off this season. While Nicolas was at the runway show looking like Pudgy Kurt Cobain as always and Shirina was wearing some gypsy costume from last Halloween, Ari had totally reinvented herself. She looked like a cross between Isabella Blow and Boy George playing Leigh Bowery in Taboo. Genius!
• Nina Garcia Fashion Director of Marie Claire Magazine Hate's Irina's Collection: Did you see the stink eye that NGFDMCM gave Irina on the runway last night? When she saw that everything was black she said, "We talked about that," like she was the disappointed mother of a daughter who keeps wetting the bed. Then she told Irina that black never gets any editorial coverage. Looks like someone's spread in Marie Claire magazine will be begrudging.
• Lifetime's Commercials: Lady vitamins, pregnancy tests, fat Carrie Fisher, the horrible Georgia O'Keefe Paints Vagina Flowers Lifetime movie promos, cleaning products, tampons—this is what we had to endure being hawked during the commercial breaks, and it provided some wonderfully easy targets. Thanks Lifetime. Also, you made up for it with the trailer for The 12 Men of Christmas. Kristen Chenoweth starring in a movie about making a naked calendar with hot guys? Oh yes, my gay ass will be tuning in, without any irony and a big fat smile on my face.
• Michael Kors Says "Bravo Guys": Was it an intentional dig at Lifetime by bringing up the show's old network? We don't think so, but it was a perfect bitchy end to this horrible season.

So, in the end, as we accuately predicted Irina won for her crappy black collection with ugly hats. Rather than talk about the clothes, go watch the full collections in the videos. How quickly can we forget that this season ever happened? We hope it's sometime around Sunday afternoon, because we want to get back to loving Runway.

For the last time until 2010, let's sashay and chanter our way to the videos.

Meltdown of the Week
Context: Carol Hannah is sick and trying to finish her collection and snaps under the pressure. Thankfully Cry-stopher is there for a shoulder to cry on.
Vision: That she's not going to make it through, and that Cry-stopher and his eyebrows can help her.
Delusion: Of course she'll make it. She's a can-do kid. This was the one moment of real emotion we felt all season. She may not be the greatest designer, but this is a highlight of her young life, and to have it ruined by circumstances beyond her control really sucks. We're glad she made it work.
What Would Nina Say: "Get it togther!"
Dramometer: 10

Under the Gunn
Context: All the girls are late getting their models ready and Grampa Gunn freaks out. He does it in the same way that our high school Latin teacher, Sister Nicotena of the Holy Smoke, used to, where she barely raises her voice, but manages to shame everyone into submission and make them feel like 20,000 monkeys just took a shit on their heads.
Vision: That he can get these looks ready for the runway.
Delusion: The only way to make any of these models acceptable is if Gunn goes back and redesigns every collection himself.
What Would Nina Say: "You should have screamed louder."
Dramometer: 8

Althea's Collection
Context: Here is the finished product.
Vision: The future.
Delusion: There is nothing futuristic about any of these pieces. In fact, you can buy most of them right now at Express—on the sale rack.
What Would Nina Say: "I would put that suit in my magazine. But you won't let me, because you chose another winner."
Dramometer: 0

Carol Hannah's Collection
Context: Here are here 12 disparate looks. A couple of them we actually like.
Vision: Making a bunch of really great clothes, even if they are disconnected, will win the prize. Also, lilac buttplugs.
Delusion: That these fashion types don't care about "cohesion."
What Would Nina Say: "Can we take another look at Althea's?"
Dramometer: 0

Irina Won for This
Context: The most original collection ever on the face of the earth.
Vision: Black, black, black, brown, more black, and hats. It's like armor!
Delusion: The only thing we have to guard against is our eyes ever seeing something like this ever again.
What Would Nina Say: "All black will get no editorial coverage, even though my magazine is contractually obligated to cover it."
Dramometer: 0

After new castmember Jack Danny (hello, Cheyenne Jackson!) tells Tracy and Jenna that they should be nice to Kenneth because he could be their boss some day, it throws their whole world order out of whack. Tracy decides to get to know Kenneth's future plans to see if he should worry about the way he's treated him. Of course, Kenneth says, in ten years, he hopes to be running the network, except there won't be a network. Burn, NBC! Looks like that Leno experiment will be the death of you.

There was also another great moment with Padma Lakshmi, though it must be unpacked (like a bag lunch) to get to all the layers of diss that it contains (the clip is below). Lakshmi hosts Top Chef on Bravo, which is owned by NBC. Top Chef's biggest sponsor is the "Glad family of products," a phrase that Lady P must know inside and out. To cast her as an egomaniacal version of herself who thinks she invented the sandwich bag (read Glad bag) but doesn't know the name of it will be a real kick in the shins to the people who write the checks for her show. Also, funny. No wonder there won't be a network in 10 years. 30 Rock is trying to put them out of business themselves!

Yes, Gretchen, Tamra, Lynne, Vicki, and Jeana are our muses and we think that this is a fitting tribute for the start of what is sure to be a great season of foreclosures, petty disputes, and plastic surgery.

Gretchen Rossi Has a Dildo with a Cord

Empty
like feet searching for the ground while hurling
out of a plane. Empty like tingling
in the cheeks longing for the flapping rush of wind
and the taut explosion of a screaming descent.

Empty
like a love tank in a Prius that has no sparks
and no oil and is just cruising down a hill to crash
into the community's gate. The neighbors will swell
out of their houses—empty, all their goods pawned—

And they will watch as her bloody manicure
sweeps her hair out of her face and she begins
to climb back up the hill, past the empty homes. The mood
is foreboding and gnawing, like debt, like a husband
who doesn't yell, he talks

But when he talks, he is accused of yelling
because everything about his spouse is empty,
her head, her threats, her rhetoric, she is empty
like a puppet missing a hand
like a marionette bobbing

Up and down on yellow strings trying to force her
body into a desirable shape. She is just gilding it,
like a leather and diamond cuff, like Wonder Woman's
magic bracelets,
bullets deflecting in every direction.

The jewelry is designed by a beast, her
tanned hide stretched tight over ribs
like a fleshen xylophone. Hit her with mallets,
make her sing a song of peace as she brings the enemies
around a table, floods it with wine.

Watch them fight, watch them cower. There are
no angels here. Only the accused, eyes still
puffy from crying at the beach with her little creature terriers
named pain and vanity. She cares for them
but longs for a man

Blank as a slate to throw her around a cluttered garage.
There is no room for your grief in the flotsam.
Clear out a space for your dead husband's hospital bed, the Ming vase
urn, swirling with the blue lines of your tears
protecting the chunky ash.

Around the dinner table, let them talk about flowers,
let them talk about work
Let them talk about truth and grievances.
No victims, just someone to tell you to shut the fuck up
to seance the ghost of your gold digging succubus

Before the final empty accusation:
Gretchen Rossi has a dildo with a cord.

Anyone who has watched the show knows that Kim can't sing. She couldn't perform in the recording booth and she couldn't learn when she got voice lessons. Instead she just sort of makes a croaking noise like a sorority girl that is about to puke up those seven beers next to a tree on the quad. It was a bit shocking when the track came out and it wasn't that bad. Catchy, fun, and AutoTuned within an inch of its life thanks to fellow Housewife Kandi Burruss, "Tardy for the Party" became a campy hit in gay bars and for anyway who has a TiVo season pass for the show.

While everyone was just about sick of it, the one thing that Kim can do to further interest in the track was sing it live, without the aid of computer tricks to make her voice sound good. This wasn't like watching a train wreck, because sometimes in a train wreck there are survivors. This was like watching a massacre. Kim couldn't sing, even with a back-up track that was doing most of the work. She couldn't keep up with her stilted back up dancers. She couldn't get the look of pained concentration off her face. Someone give this girl a glass of chardonnay and a shotgun, because she needs both.

But the oddest thing was the reaction of the Housewives, none of whom would say it was the biggest turd they have ever seen. They all said they "liked the song" and it "had a good beat," but none would mention the wigged elephant in the room—it was an earth-shatteringly bad number. It was like when you see your friend's baby for the first time and it's really ugly and you say "What a baby! Look at the baby!" because you can't say "Your baby is ugly," but that's what you're thinking and you're just looking for something to say that won't be a lie but won't be insulting either.

In fact, the whole two-part reunion special was like that. Even host Andy Cohen seemed clued in that the ladies must have gotten together beforehand and decided that they weren't going to trash each other and instead pretend to make nice and keep Bravo from getting any juicy footage to exploit. It made the two hours very sad and somber indeed, with characters like NeNe Leakes and Lisa Wu-Hartwell keeping their opinions to themselves for a change. Well, if we can't have our favorite girls behaving badly, at least we can have them performing badly. And Kim's epic flame out is one for the reality television record books.

• The Wrap reports that Project Runway's move to Lifetime has not quite worked out as Harvey Weinstein and company expected. After a very strong debut, ratings have fallen off more than 20 percent. Worse for Lifetime, having the show on its network, for which it paid a hefty price, has done little for its overall ratings picture. In fact, Lifetime's ratings in the critical 18 - 49 female demo are off 13 percent from last year. On the other hand, after losing its signature show, Bravo's ratings are up this year by 5 percent in the 18- 49 demo, and it had its "best ratings quarter ever this summer." So who is auf now Frau Klum? [The Wrap]

• Anthony Hopkins has signed on to play Thor's dad Odin in the Marvel film adaptation of its comic book series. Chris Hemsworth will star as the thunder god, while Natalie Portman will take on the thankless love interest role. Kenneth Branagh is, amazingly, directing. [Variety]

• And the new Mad Max will be...Charlize Theron. Little is known about the working script, but the Oscar winner will apparently be the front woman in director George Miller's reboot of the classic series. [Variety]

• Sethe MacFarlane's American Dad has been renewed for a sixth season. [Hollywood Reporter]

• Sony reported its fourth straight quarter of losses, although the hurt this past quarter was not as bad as analysts had predicted. The company saw sales fall off another 20 percent overall. The motion picture division saw a "30.4% year-on drop in sales — or 20% on a U.S. dollar basis. But as the NY Times reminded us this weekend, what matters is that Michael and Amy really really like each other. [Variety]

• Tensions flared at the wrap of the theater owner's ShowEast conference over the taking forever rollout of digital technology. The Hollywood Reporter reported, "it sounded more like a threat than a promise when University Mall Theatres' Mark O'Meara kicked off one d-cinema presentation by declaring, 'Digital cinema is here to stay.'" [Hollywood Reporter]

• Prepare yourself for Fish Hooks. The first new animated show to be greenlit by the Disney Channel in three years will soon be tormenting your dreams as it is forced down grown-up America's throats by a nation of over-hyped children. [Hollywood Reporter}

Bethenny told People magazine that she is only two months along, and is letting the world know about the news after Perez Hilton started gossiping about the bun in her oven. She told the tabs before her fiance, Jason Hoppy, even told his parents.

The plain-talking Frankel of course had something hilarious to say about the news.

"I got to be honest, we are both feeling kind of proud of ourselves. We are both 38 and we were like, 'Listen, your fish can swim and I am fertile.' So that's exciting."

Bravo announced Bethenny would get her own show October 1, so she was already a month pregnant when the deal became public. That probably means that neither she nor the network knew about this unexpected guest star when negotiations started, but it sure is going to add and exciting new dimension to her upcoming show. She got engaged to Hoppy earlier this month, so the two developments were occurring simultaneously.

Since Real Housewives of New York is currently filming for its third season, we'll get to see how all the ladies react to hearing the news. By all accounts, Frankel is out with the squad of faux-cialites, so this should make for a really interesting baby shower when producers force them all in the same room to play silly games.

Well, Congrats, Big B. We can't wait to see how you cope with motherhood on national television.

[Image via Getty]

None other than Jennifer Gilbert, owner and Chief Visionary Officer of party planning website Save the Date (which doesn't seem to be functioning currently). Here's what we know about her:

• She's 40 and married to Bennett Egeth, a managing director at Bear Sterns. They got married in 2002, and, of course, made Times Vows section. She wore a Pucci dress to her wedding, which kind of rules.
• Threw the 10th anniversary party for Fox News. Uh oh. Might she be a conservative?
• She has three children, Blaise, 4, and 1-year-old twins Saxton and Grey. They live in TriBeCa.
• Started out as a party planner, studied at MIT's "Birthing of Giants" Program, and was named "Entrepreneur of the Year" by Ernst & Young at age 29. She has talked about starting a party planning business for children's parties.
• She is the co-founder, co-owner, and director of marketing and sales of PortaMee, which is like the love child between a messenger bag and a Baby Bjorn, if you can imagine such a thing.
• Likes to paint herself as busy executive, so we don't know how that is going to fly with the other social layabouts on the show.
• She is no Bethenny Frankel.

Jennifer actually seems kind of cool, nice, and normal, but also like the type of stereotypical, privileged New York mom that is easy to hate. She's not prettier than Kelly Bensimon, so she will like her. She has money, so Countess LuAnn will like her. Ramona Singer will hate her, but she hates everyone and has crazy eyes. Alex McCordwill want to have playdates, but Jennifer will be embarrassed to be around her, but Jennifer's husband likes to talk about clothes just like Alex's so Simon and Bennett will have a bromance. Bethenny will like her, cause she thinks she's a business woman too, and then she'll hate her, and then they'll make up, and then she'll hate her again and leave for her own show. Jill Zarin is always the wild card, but as Jill goes, so goes the audience. Don't you piss off Jill, Jennifer, or we're all going to hate you.

[Image via Getty]

Daniel Nardicio, a spokesman for Playgirl, said that both sides agreed to do the shoot the weekend of November 6 here in New York. The online publication hopes that Levi will be posing all day on Saturday while also getting in some promotional appearances while he's in town. Also, Playgirl is thinking about reviving the print edition for a Levi special. If the shoot takes place on the arranged date the images will hit the web a few weeks later, and the print magazine—with additional images—a few weeks after that. So far just how naked he is going to get still isn't part of the contract, which should be signed in the next few days.

Tank Jones, Levi's svengali, told us that he didn't have any additional details about the shoot and that they're still trying to nail down the date. He said he was talking to the Playgirl camp later this afternoon and will have more details after the meeting. Well, Tank, we want to know everything! Now! If you can successfully broker this deal, you deserve the Nobel Peace Prize. It doesn't take much these days.

In other Levi Johnston news, Bravo honcho Andy Cohen, who started all this mess on his masturbatory talk show, has changed his position on the matter for the second time.

Last night on Watch What Happens Live, Cohen hand his "Mazel of the Week" to the viewer Steve, who wrote in the question about whether or not Levi would pose nude in the first place. Levi famously said yes, and the whole thing began. Now Cohen is celebrating the dirty pictures with Playgirl because it started on his show. He also says his show is contributing to culture (full clip below) and asks Anderson Cooper what he is doing. Well, he's probably getting all worked up at the thought of a naked Levi photo shoot.

Anyway, what happened to warning the kid against doing porn? Is being naked in Playgirl not porn because it's "tasteful?" God, Andy, get your story straight. PS—Thanks. We never could have done it without you.

Ashley (A.J.) Jewell was at the strip club he was the co-owner of in Atlanta—the Body Tap Club—when he got into a fight outside in the parking lot with Body Tap employee Fredrick Richardson. Jewell was a fixture on the show for a few episodes. The Body Tap Club was already popular with celebrities and became even more so after Jewell's appearance on the show. The fight was just the two of them and nobody else. Jewell suffered massive head injuries from the fight and died at Piedmont Hospital later that night.

Voluntary manslaughter charges have been brought up against Richardson, and he'll be charged once he's released from his stay at a separate hospital, where he was brought in from injuries resulting from the fight.

Every newspaper report has included this, so, here:

It's a senseless act of random, arbitrary violence. These tragedies happen, one's no better or worse than any other. But you have to wonder: in the wake of Ryan Alexander Jenkins' murder-suicide, even back to Richard Hatch's tax evasion charges, and all of the other crimes that've fallen between, is it wrong to ask if we're able to implicate reality TV as being some kind of accessory to these crimes? Even to the slightest degree?

Reality TV manifests ego and hubris; a sense of power, however limited, can be a bad thing in pretty much any scenario. Then again, more likely than not, it's just what it is: a senseless celebrity death. Questions, though. They happen.

According to Life and Style, the show has inked a deal with socialite Sonja Morgan. Who? Never heard of her. Well, here's the little info we could dig up on her:

• She's married to John Morgan, a great-grandson of J. Pierpont Morgan of, you know, J.P. Morgan fame.
• The couple lives in New York, but also live on an island off the coast of Connecticut and on their yacht. They have one daughter.
• Born Sonja Tremont, she met Morgan while working as the hostess at a Madison Avenue restaurant.
• She executive produced the 2006 movie The Marsh, starring Gabrielle Anwar as a lady who sees ghosts and Forest Whitaker as the ghostbuster who helps her.
• She lost 10 pounds in 2005 and was weighing in at a svelte 125. She did it with the Raw Food Detox Diet. She even wrote a review!
• She's no Bethenny Frankel.

All the rumors from the set this year have been that Bethenny is out with the group, so hopefully she'll have a cataclysmic breakdown which will lead to her storming off the show. Morgan will take her place about episode five of the new season which won't air until next year.

Morgan sounds just like (former?) Countess LuAnn, a lady with the right last name and the right husband, who got to the good life by being pretty and marrying well. She was a working girl before she met her husband, after all. For a prominent New York lady, we don't know much about her, so we can't wait for the floodgates to open. Jury's still out on whether or not this is a good addition, but consider our interest piqued.

Update: Both Bethenny's twitter and a spokesperson from Bravo say that Frankel is going to be on the entire third season of the show. When asked if Morgan was joining the third season, the spokesperson said, that "we haven't released any details for season three." Well, it's not a denial.

[Frankel image via Getty, Morgan image via NY Social Diary]

And it's a bun! That's right. Padma Lakshmi, the gorgeous, allluring, beautiful, exotic, wonderful, slow-talking, beautiful, gorgeous host of Top Chef is with child. No one is saying who the father is, as of yet, and Padma is keeping a low profile, since her battle with endometriosis means its a high-risk pregnancy. We wonder if the cheftestants will have to cook extra in those Quickfire Challenges if she's eating for two.

In other good news, three of the channel's other reality stars—Real Housewives of New York's Bethenny Frankel, Top Chef's Fabio Viviani, and Project Runway's Christian Siriano—have been given shows of their own. Well, it appears that Bravo got custody of it's little gay stepchild during the divorce with Runway! Siriano will have a show about setting up his own business as a designer. This is going to be a must-watch, catch phrase-spewing machine.

Viviani will also have a show about his business, as he tries to take over California with his charm and accent. Frankel will just be saying bitchy things to the camera and getting in fights with Kelly Bensimon for an hour each week. We wish. Actually, we're going to have to watch her cook and try to make sweet, sweet love to the men of New York. I spotted her at a party the other night on the arm of a very handsome gentleman, indeed, so at least there will be some eye candy. Anyway, now that Bravo is spawning its own stars and giving them their own shows, just how long before it folds in on itself in a black hole of meta? Not sure, but I'll probably be watching when it happens.

[Image via Getty]

Nightingale-Bamford had previously aired its distaste with Hughes' participation in the historic documentary. After expressing its feelings, however, the school tolerated her presence through the Spring semester.

But in recent weeks, varying accounts have emerged about whether Hughes would be "welcome" back at the elite academy — her stepping stone to Harvard and then a job running America, which would lead directly to the Presidency of the United States. Those plans may have to be put on the shelf. According to a chilling report on Cityfile:

at some point over the summer, Hughes and her parents made alternate arrangements for her senior year. According to several Nightingale parents and students, Hughes was informed several weeks ago that she would "not be welcome" back when classes recommenced this fall. A school official, however, says that is not the case. Darrel Frost, Nightingale's director of communications, says the school was "expecting her back this fall" and had reserved a place for her, but that Hughes and her parents had made the decision to enroll at another school, so that "Camille could focus on a different educational route."

Hughes will be starting classes at the far less prestigousy, non-Harvard feeder Professional Children's School, which according to the school's website, offers a home to "students who are preparing for, or already pursuing, careers in the performing arts, entertainment or competitive sports, or who are drawn to a creative environment supportive of the arts." Which is to say, students who don't think they have to befriend Jesse so they can get on the Operation Smile committee so they can get into Harvard so they can be President.

And once again, we ask, where is the outrage? Once again, our society sits by while another brave hero who dared to show the world the reality of what it is like to be — in this case a rich girl in New York — is crushed by the prejudice of those who in the end, really are just jealous that they are not asked to be on TV shows themselves.

And they call it justice.

In a cover story that just went up on on their website the gay news magazine fawns all over the Bravo honcho without telling us anything we don't really know. He loves pop culture, he's gay, he's friends with famous people. Whoopie! This is our favorite whooper:

When asked if he'll ever take the stage full-time, Cohen tilts his head in consideration. "I wanted to be on air when I was in college, but right now I love being a TV executive," he says. "All this side stuff is just extracurricular gravy."

Well, if you just want to be an exec, then why not, you know, hire someone to host Watch What Happens Live and all the reunion specials. There are people who do that for a living, and plenty of executives who never get in front of the camera.

Just ask Bravo president Lauren Zalaznick, who you never see and who says something about the channel being so gay, they are beyond gay. Zalaznick says, ""Our audience absolutely has a gay core...But more than that, we know a much bigger circle of our viewers has an enthusiastic, sophisticated, entertainment-based, aspirational view of their own lives, whether they're gay or straight."

Cohen says that Bravo isn't targeting a gay audience and it just "happens to be gay." I hate that phrase. It's kind of like saying that Head and Shoulders is for people who just happen to have dandruff. Cohen also describes his network as "bi" (can you imagine Andy touching a boob? Ha!) because it wants to be gay while attracting a wider audience.

Now we love Bravo and all the Housewives and even, begrudgingly, Cohen, but why does the channel have to have its cake and eat it too. Why can't everyone just say, "Yes, we pander to gays, and to everyone else." There's no shame in it, damn it. That and we want Andy to finally admit that he's as much a famewhore as the bitchy women that his show turns into reality show fixtures. Then we will just lie on the couch for a week watching a Top Chef marathon and be happy.

Trying to sell real estate in this economy is going to be rough for our three flamboyant barons, Josh Flagg, Madison Hildebrand and Chad Rogers so Million Dollar Listing just went from a real estate porn show to a "people with shitty jobs show." It is in some very good company, but do these mini-real estate tycoons have the crappiest jobs on the tube?

Million Dollar Listing
Position: Realtor to the stars!
Dangers: Not making any money in this shitty economy, losing your car, having people make fun of you, starving to death.
Payout: In the five to six figures, if they can make a deal.
Perks: Going through rich people's medicine cabinets.
Risk/Reward Index: We'd do it, if we didn't have such a stable media job.

Deadliest Catch
Position: Crab fisherman.
Dangers: Um, death! By freezing in the rain, falling overboard, dealing with surly captains, or random crustacean uprising.
Payout: In the mid five figures, for only a few weeks of work.
Perks: Free crab!
Risk/Reward Index: We'll use imitation crab in our California rolls, thank you.

Position: Former action star, Louisiana police deputy.
Dangers: We haven't seen the show yet (it starts in December) but we assume dealing with shirtless meth fiends running from the law while dealing with Above the Law jokes.
Payout: We're guessing in the low five figures for the police gig. We're not sure what being washed up pays.
Perks: A comeback!
Risk/Reward Index: Totally worth it (for the viewers).

Ace of Cakes
Position: Baker
Dangers: Cavities, fatness, the torture of touching all those delectable sweets and not being able to have any, living in Baltimore.
Payout: Low.
Perks: Three words: Five Second Rule.
Risk/Reward Index: Pretty good, if you don't mind being poor.

Sunset Tan
Position: Tanning Assistant.
Dangers: Being too stupid to say "melanoma" or know what one is, other people's cellulite.
Payout: Minimum wage.
Perks: Not any really.
Risk/Reward Index: At least you get free McCafés at McDonalds.

Flipping Out
Position: Jeff Lewis' assistant.
Dangers: Your insane OCD boss you needles you more than a heroin addicts arm.
Payout: Probably low. Jeff keeps whining about how he has no money.
Perks: You get to work with a funny maid and meet Andy Cohen at the reunion show!
Risk/Reward Index: After mental health bills, it's cost prohibitive to work here.

Last night, Barney Frank called into the Bravo honcho's masturbatory talk show (and our favorite 30 minutes of the week). At first, we thought Cohen would use the time to talk about important things and not about, you know, himself and Bravo. He even got Frank to say he would not run for Ted Kennedy's Senate seat. That's like, almost news!

It lasted for about a minute before Cohen humiliated the Congressman into playing "House of Representatives or Real Housewives." We give Frank credit for being game but also for not pretending like he was in on the joke, he was obviously not amused. Nor were we.

In fact, the whole thing was a little cringe-inducing, especially because Barney Frank is an amazing guy and Cohen seems like he is completely immune to embarrassment. Frank is smart, witty, and quick with a quip, but he is also deadly sincere. It's not like he's some lightweight like Anderson Cooper who will come on and makes some jokes about Kim's wig and then go back to work. Frank only wants to talk about very serious subjects. Indulge him a bit, Andy. It might be the most enriching 3 minutes to air on your network all year.

And that is what we got last night in an episode that was soaked in more estrogen than a barrage of commercials about tampons, pregnancy tests, and The September Issue. Thanks Lifetime. With a lack of Michael Kors (bronzer accident?) and a female replacement judge and a challenge that focused entirely on the unborn twins bathing in the glory of Rebecca Romijn's amniotic fluid, the boys really stood no chance last night, and many of them managed to fail quite spectacularly. It's not easy to make a cute outfit for a discerning lady who played a tranny on network television, especially if you have a penis. In fact we had all ladies in the top three and three nice (gay) gentlemen on the bottom. Is this how Lifetime works? Are they going to kick queers out of the fashion industry one elliptical-machine tightened ass at a time? After last night, we wouldn't blame them.

What We Hate:

• Mitchell: If this kid spent as much time sewing as he did clowning around the work room, maybe he wouldn't have sent a naked model down the runway last week and made a pair of shorts this week that looked like a fabric sling MacGyver would make out of a used poncho, a pile or rubber bands, and some bacon grease. Mitchell, as every reality show contestant ever will tell you: you are not here to make friends, you are here to win. Start acting like it.
• Spell Check: That is our affectionate name for Qristyl, who can't go to Mood without having a conniption. Last week she had to open a pair of scissors and cut her own fabric. This week she littered a table with buttons. Deep cleansing breaths, girl, it's only a fabric store. And if you piss off everyone who works there, they are not going to help you find that champagne organza that you need to make your delusional vision come true. Then you're fucked.
• Hot Tranny Meth's Model Walk: Did you see Johnny (aka Hot Tranny Meth) trying to teach his model how to walk the runway? You are not tall, black, or fierce enough to be Miss J. Stop trying. Your outfit kinda rocked this week though, so we're being kind.
• Monique Lhuillier: The replacement for Michale Kors was way too nice. That bores us. And Nina, who does not like the competition.

What We Love:

• Louise: For some reason, kooky Kenley Jr. reminds us of folk singer Susanne Vega, and that makes us love her. We take back our hatred from last week.
• Logan Shirtless: The everyone-getting-ready montage was back last night, and we got a few fleeting seconds of our beloved without his top on. It was as wonderful as walking the red carpet and having everyone scream your name repeatedly while being blinded by flashbulbs.
• Stella jokes: At one point Ra'Mon made an allusion to last season's punk-rock leatherista Stella Zotis. Genius. However, we're not sure that this is even legal. Doesn't Bravo own her likeness, creativity, and soul in this media and every media not yet created from now until Andy Cohen takes his final dirt nap? You better be careful. One Christian Siriano impersonation, and your ass will get sued!
• Skinny Models, Big Bellies: We haven't seen anything this absurd and wonderful since dropping acid at Cirque du Soleil.
• Rebecca Romijn's Heidi Impersonation: Her flirty/sassy goodbye while leaving the runway with our stalwart host was spot on, totally hilarious, and shows she gets the caricature that is Ms. Klum. We're totally team Rebecca.

In the end, there were some designers who had vision, like Shirin who won for her flowing maroon number with a wonderful waist above the baby bump (the tabloids should be damned for creating annoying alliterative idiom) and a lined jacket, which, in Runway-land means an automatic win. Also of note was our girl Althea, whose full-length navy gown looked like an awning at first, but later was tailored into something that showed off her craft and mode her model look amazing. And yes, Hot Tranny Meth pulled it out with a mid-length grey dress with contrast edging and a crazy goobledigoo on one shoulder.

But there were more who were delusional. Epperson (who we are convinced is mute, because he has not said one thing in two episodes) should have been called out for being two braid buns away from making a pregnant Princess Leia costume. Irina's dress was cute, but it had this crazy thing over half the waist that not only made the bump look huge, but also like the embylical cord was trying to grow up the mother's side. And, of course, crazy Malvin, whose concept for a mother and egg dress was just fat too extreme for the natural world. It would have done much better if it stayed in his head.

For more on that—to the videos!

Meltdown of the Week
Context: Thanks to Mitchell, Ra'mon realizes that the dress he is making is a piece of shit. He can't handle Mitchell's teasing, which he then tries to cover up with lies about how good it looks. Like Mitchell should be saying anything, because his outfit is even worse. But they laugh. Oh, these two will giggle all the way to the apocalypse.
Vision: That maybe highlighting a pregnant lady's belly with bright purple fabric wasn't the best idea.
Delusion: That maybe the judges won't notice.
What Would Nina Say?: "I noticed that your model's belly is covered in purple fabric."
Dram-ometer: 4

Under the Gunn
Context: Crazy gay installation artist Malvin would much rather make a fabric sculpture than, you know, something that a real human can wear. He comes up with chickens and eggs as a symbol for pregnant ladies. Oh, Malvin. Tim schools him, and he realizes that the only acceptable time for jodhpurs is the fox hunting number in Mame.
Vision: That listening to Tim Gunn can save him. A very wise vision.
Delusion: That his creation was worth saving.
What Would Nina Say?: "The point of clothing is to have something to wear."
Dram-ometer: 3

Runway Arrogance
Context: Despite realizing that he's making a piece of shit, Ra'mon is momentarily blinded by the apostrophe in his name and thinks that he might actually win, because his piece is different.
Vision: Doing something outside the norm will set him apart.
Delusion: Believing the reason that other people's ensembles all look the same isn't because they're doing something right, but because they are boring and that he will triumph for being a visionary. Sorry, Ra'mon. Too much delusion, not enough vision.
What Would Nina Say?: "Just because you are different doesn't make you right."
Dram-ometer: 7

Runway Arrogance Justified
Context: Shirin watches her winning creation march to victory.
Vision: Make a flattering dress, build a jacket and line it. And don't make people hate you while doing it.
Delusion: None here. Gold stars all around for Shirin.
What Would Nina Say?: Nina never gives praise. She just bows her head in acknowledgment.
Dram-ometer: There's is no drama in a home run.

Back Talk
Context: Malvin thinks the judges care about what he has to say as opposed to the clothing he just made. It is a lackluster defense, because he knows he's doomed.
Vision: If he explains, they will get it, and put him on the cover of Elle Marie Claire.
Delusion: See above.
What Would Nina Say?: See for yourself!
Dram-ometer: 3

The Cruelty of Live as Chronicled on Models of the Runway