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Indeed, Why Wouldn't He?
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iplaudius
06/15/09

In reply to Indeed, Why Wouldn't He?
It put hair on his chest. And a monkey on his shoulder.

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BadUncle
06/15/09

In reply to Indeed, Why Wouldn't He?
I prefer breast beer.
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BookishLookish
06/15/09

@BadUncle: That reminds me of when I was a bartender and I would once in a while make money off rubes who did not believe I could balance a champagne glass on my rack and drink out of it "look, Ma, no hands" style. I was once dared to and tried it with a glass half full of beer and was shamefully defeated. "You need at least a D cup to do that, dummy," was the guy's response. I had been had by a more experienced grifter!
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skahammer
06/15/09

@BookishLookish: Barkeep, about my tab; yeah, I have this great idea and so I'm willing to go double-or-nothing on it if you'll just....
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SaraRueful
06/15/09

@BookishLookish: How does that work? And why didn't the beer work? PM me if you want -- I've got a big rack and need a new shtick. I'm getting too old for bar fights.
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BookishLookish
06/15/09

@SaraRueful: PMing you!
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skahammer
06/15/09

@SaraRueful: Something tells me your present shtick is probably just fine, but I applaud the tendency toward constant improvement nevertheless. We can all improve something.
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Kid Twist
06/15/09

In reply to Indeed, Why Wouldn't He?
The Santaland Dairies.
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CaptainFantastic
06/15/09

In reply to Indeed, Why Wouldn't He?
The monkey is appropriately rolling its eyes.
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Trulymadlyme
06/15/09

In reply to Indeed, Why Wouldn't He?
Truthfully? A random pregnant woman passed him the creamer canister in Starbucks. But that sort of antidote won't get you published in the New Yorker
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The Defeatery
06/15/09

@Trulymadlyme: Neither will that sort of anecdote.
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I Don't Get It
06/15/09

@The Defeatery: I kind of liked it as antidote. I was wondering what half and half could possibly cure.
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BadUncle
06/15/09

@I Don't Get It: It cures the need to drink breast milk, for one.
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Trulymadlyme
06/15/09

@The Defeatery: Luckily, I'm not trying, foolio.
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nicepony
06/15/09

In reply to Indeed, Why Wouldn't He?
Sedaris recycles the same 5 stories every couple of years and gives them a new cover. Doubt the milk story ever happened.
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rabbitangstrom
06/15/09

@nicepony:

Just like that comment is recycled every couple of months when Gawker runs a story concerning Sedaris.
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WhiteMan'sBourbon
06/15/09

@rabbitangstrom: Whatevs. Sedaris is an overrated hack for people who never met a bitchy queen before and therefore think he's hiLARious. And that goes double for his painfully untalented sister. I saw her stupid play "The Book of Ruth" a few years ago and I swear I was the only person in the audience who didn't engage in a competition to see who could laugh the loudest at her sophomoric jokes to prove how "hip" I was.
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skahammer
06/15/09

@antisocialite: When posting comments of this kind, it may be useful to demonstrate that the poster is not simply humor-impaired in general.

"It's not funny," by itself, is one of the least enlightening criticisms ever. Which people who have functioning senses of humor probably do tend to realize, on some level.
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WhiteMan'sBourbon
06/15/09

@skahammer: So the fact that I'm currently laughing at you validates my post?
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skahammer
06/15/09

@antisocialite: If I had said something funny, it might.

But laughing at a situation one finds uncomfortable is not really evidence of a sense of humor.

Saying something funny -- that would be more like it.
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misslinda
06/15/09

In reply to Indeed, Why Wouldn't He?
If she also offered him a chocolate chip cookie, I might forgive him.
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Smitros
06/15/09

In reply to Indeed, Why Wouldn't He?
What one would expect from a monkey-toucher.
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son of spam
06/15/09

In reply to Indeed, Why Wouldn't He?
And that's how you catch teh gay.
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Wrapitup
06/15/09

@son of spam: Wha? No, it's an STD.
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