Today we found out that Cirque Du Soleil is now set to perform at the Oscars on Feb. 26th. Thanks to an online petition, the Muppets will present an award. This thing is going to be a real stinker.

No, it is not 1991 all over again, but Billy Crystal is going to host the Oscars now that Brett Ratner got fired and Eddie Murphy stepped down as host. The forces of nostalgia have won out yet again.

Olivia Munn's "friends" are talking to the media about how upset she is about Brett Ratner talking on TV about how he "banged her but forgot." Apparently she wants "nothing to do with him." You mean that didn't happen while he was jerking off and eating shrimp in front of her?

Producer Brian Grazer, of The Klumps fame, will replace Brett Ratner as the Oscars' producer. Pros: won't use the f-word, hasn't jerked off in front of Olivia Munn (probably). Cons: looks like alien wearing a poorly-made human being costume.

Thanks to one silly little word by Brett Ratner and what was shaping up to be the worst Oscars ever are no more. With Ratner out as producer and Eddie Murphy stepping down as host, the Academy is starting from scratch.

In the wake of Brett Ratner resigning from producing what would have been History's Worst Oscars because he said "fag," should the Academy also be looking at what their host has said about gay people in the past too? Probably.

Much has been made of how universally reviled shrimping enthusiast Brett Ratner told a Q&A audience that "rehearsal is for fags" — a decision which would cost him a prestigious Oscars producing gig, and a lasting place in Academy Awards infamy. It's truly a revolting moment, best experienced firsthand. And good news…

After a particularly offensive week—during which he called people who rehearse "fags" and told Howard Stern about "banging" Olivia Munn—Rush Hour director and physical embodiment of everything Axe body spray stands for Brett Ratner has quit his gig producing the Oscars under heavy pressure from the Academy. Hooray!…

It sure is a good day to hate Hollywood schlockmeister, Olivia Munn banger, Oscar ruiner, and receding afro-with-legs Brett Ratner. Apparently this weekend at a Q&A following his new cinematic turd Tower Heist, he dropped the f-bomb. No, not "fuck." "Fag."

When schlockmeister Brett Ratner was named director of the Oscars, we groaned. When he named Eddie Murphy host, we groaned again. Now he's hired all new writers to help with him with the show. We can't stop groaning.

Noted Hollywood fauxteur Brett Ratner appeared on Attack of the Show to pimp his latest brain-smoothing studio confection, Tower Heist. After a comfortable amount of brown-nosing, host Kevin Pereira pointedly asked the director if rumors were true that a particularly unflattering passage in former co-host Olivia…

Retro relic Eddie Murphy is going to host the Oscars, at least according to our bosom buddy Nikki Finke over at Deadline. Man, this is going to be worse than Forrest Gump winning Best Picture.

It was announced yesterday that director Brett Ratner, figuring he wasn't going to get much closer to an Oscar, will produce next year's Academy Awards ceremony. Strange choice, Academy! But it's been made, so let's make the best of it and give Ratner some suggestions.

Diane Keaton, Laura Linney, Dustin Hoffman, and now another one. Also today: Superman finds a new director, some actors were cast in some movies, and Fox keeps making quality television with great titles.

He's going to war. Z war! Also today: that Barefoot Bandit kid gets his own feature film written by a hottie boombalottie, old grampa Disney needs some help from its hip and popular grandkid, and some Dragon Tattoo casting news.

They've just found their Hawkeye, so it's just about time to go avengin'. Also today: investigating the mystery of Malin Akerman, some good news about Carrie Fisher, I Love You Phillip Morris is never coming out, and Brett Ratner. Ugh.

[Director Brett Ratner (Rush Hour) scratches his balls in a successful manner. Pic by Bauer-Griffin.]

Due to some drama with volcanic ash, we weren't able to make it to Cannes this year. Fortunately, French-speaking fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern had already washed ashore, so we hustled her over to the festival to cover it for us.

How much money do you think "Avatar" would have made if it didn't snow a million inches this weekend? $1 billion? $300 trillion? Stupid snow. What does God have against James Cameron besides the fact he's sort of a douche?