In December 2013, a woman commenting on an xoJane post about the sexual abuse of another woman's rock star boyfriend accused Conor Oberst, best known for his project Bright Eyes, of raping her a decade before. Now, the woman, who Oberst sued in February for libel, is recanting the whole thing.

How do you propose to someone who knows the question is coming? Step one, at least in 2013, always involves procuring high-end video equipment. But step two includes setting up as many near-proposals as possible, making it seem as though the question could come at any second. And while I might have declared proposal…