117 Days and a Wake Up
Nigel Farage Exits UKIP Leadership Role
Nigel Farage, the man who lead the charge for Britain’s withdrawal from the European Union, has resigned as leader of the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP), the country’s far-right political faction
Britain Votes to Leave European Union
The United Kingdom has voted to leave the European Union, shocking the country’s political establishment and sending the British pound to its lowest point since 1985, The Wall Street Journal reports.
Vulgar Voter Casts Brexit Ballot for Bell-End
According to the Daily Mail, a crude doodle was briefly the source of electoral controversy on Thursday after a voter in Britain’s EU referendum submitted a ballot featuring an erect penis.
So, How's That Count Going, Britain?
Oh, I see.
Never Mind the Ballots, Here's the Brexit Polls
The official result of Britain’s referendum on whether to leave the European Union—dubbed Brexit—isn’t expected to arrive until tomorrow morning, but just minutes after voting stations closed on Thursday, four final opinion polls indicated that “Remain” has narrowly won the day, The Independent reports.
Everything You Need to Know About the “Brexit” Vote, in Equus GIFs
It’s a big vote that’s about go down in merry ol’ Britain, guv’nor.
Unauthorized Biography: British PM David Cameron Put "Private Part" in Dead Pig's Mouth
Citing an unnamed member of parliament, a forthcoming biography of David Cameron claims Britain’s Conservative Prime Minister “put a private part of his anatomy” in a dead pig’s mouth during an initiation ritual as a student at Oxford, the Daily Mail reports.
Britain, France to Accept More Than 40,000 Syrian Refugees
On Monday, British Prime Minister David Cameron announced plans to resettle 20,000 people currently living in refugee camps in Syria, Turkey and Jordan over the next five years, the BBC reports.
Queen Elizabeth to German President: Thanks for the Shitty-Ass Gift
Above, we see Elizabeth II, Her Majesty the Ice Queen, examining a portrait of her as a young girl riding a blue horse, which was presented to her today by German Federal President Joachim Gauck. We haven’t seen the queen this disgusted since Kate Middleton wore the wrong shade of nude tights to tea.
Report: Tom Hanks' Son Chet Wanted by Cops for Trashing British Hotel
According to the Sunday Mirror, Chester Hanks, the slightly-less-beloved son of beloved actor Tom Hanks, is wanted by police in Britain after losing his shit and causing more than $1800 in damage to a hotel room near Gatwick Airport, 28 miles south of London.
Meet the Wankers Who Want to be Britain’s Prime Minister
Tomorrow, the citizenry of the United Kingdom will cast their votes in a general election. If you’re an American, you may have been too busy tenderly rubbing your genitals on a gun to have read much about this. Who’s fighting to lead this grey and unpleasant land onward into its inevitable irrelevancy? And how do we…
British Man Who Tried to Fuck Mailbox Found Dead
Paul Bennett, the British man convicted of indecent exposure last month after rubbing his genitals on a mailbox and shouting "wow," was found dead this week, the New York Daily News reports. He was 45.
Krispy Kreme Apologizes for Unkool "KKK Wednesdays" Promotion
Krispy Kreme's whimsical spelling has long straddled the line between "friendly Southern grandma" and "racist country grandpa," but this week a UK branch of the donut chain accidentally went full hoods and crosses with an ad promoting "KKK Wednesdays."
Dad's Plan to Replace Daughter's Vodka With Water Completely Backfires
Fed up with his teenage daughter repeatedly stealing his favorite cookies, no matter where in the house he tried to hide them, a British dad concocted a plan for revenge. While searching her room for signs of his missing snacks, he found she had a special stash of her own—a bottle of foul, store-brand vodka. Only one…
"Wow," Shouts Man Trying to Fuck a Mailbox at the Mall
A 45-year-old British man pleaded guilty to indecent exposure and abusive behavior after he was caught drunkenly making sexual advances toward "a postbox in the middle of a shopping arcade."
Listing Cargo Ship Deliberately Grounded Off the Isle of Wight
A car transporter ship was deliberately grounded off the Isle of Wight on Saturday evening after it began to list, the BBC reports. The Hoegh Osaka had left port in Southampton less than an hour before.
Multiple Spy Agencies Missed Major Clues to 2008 Mumbai Attack: Report
According to a report published in the New York Times, British, Indian, and American intelligence agencies failed to piece together major plot details of Pakistani terrorist group Lashkar-e-Taiba before they carried out the gruesome, three-day onslaught in Mumbai in 2008 that left 166 dead, including six Americans.
Proud British Lady Says No Court Can Stop Her Illegal Sex Screams
Despite receiving a court order, jail time, and at least 30 visits from police, a British woman refuses to silence the criminally noisy bone sessions that her neighbors have described as "unnatural" and "murder," The Daily Mirror reports.
British Minister Explains Why She Kept Saying "Cock" in Parliament
Conservative British minister Penny Mordaunt gave a speech in Parliament last year that was ostensibly about the welfare of chickens, but was actually written with the express purpose of saying "cock" as many times as possible.
