He talks about love, he talks about charity, he bares his soul and grapples with the meaning of redemption. But obviously, all anyone cares about is hearing about is hearing about his fake hair, and other humiliations. Here they are:

1. The Time He Was Afraid His Wig Would Fall Off at the French Open. In the early years of his male-pattern baldness, a rabidly narcissistic Agassi took to wearing a flamboyantly high-maintenance weave. As if it wasn't enough that the hair that made him famous was fake, Agassi admits that it was a crappy fake, too: At the 1990 French Open, Agassi's conditioner caused his weave to fall apart, forcing his brother to bobby pin it to his head and the horrified tennis diva to go all sweaty-palmed over whether his scalp pelt would go flying mid-match.

2. His Girlfriend, Brooke Shields, Convinced Him to Ditch the Pelt and Shave His Head. There is something tragic about the moment when a balding man realizes he can fluff and rearrange no longer, and that it's time to give up on hair entirely. It is even more tragic when said balding man is Andre Agassi, and his famously hot actress girlfriend is the one who has to tell him he's reached the point of no return.

3. Ruined His Career with a Meth Addiction. Couric rattles off members of the tennis community who have public distanced themselves from Agassi following the revelation that he was junked up on meth for "the better part of 1997," when his pro career began to plummet. Confronted with Martina Navratilova's accusation that he is "up there with Roger Clemens," Agassi blinks repeatedly and speaks through a strangled voice as he points out that using steroids to be good at baseball is really nothing like the self-destructive pattern of chronic methamphetamine use, and anyone who equates the two is sort of a jerk. "I had a problem. I would ask for some compassion."

4. He dumped Brooke Shields. This is only mildly humiliating for Agassi. (What kind of fool dumps Brooke Shields?!) The real humiliation is Brooke's, because she had some really embarrassing relationships in the '80s and '90s, and then, just when it seemed like she had snagged herself a real catch, turned out he was a deeply troubled, self-hating drug addict—and then he dumped her. Good thing Shields' love life worked itself out, because if things had gone differently, she could be deep into Jennifer Aniston territory by now.

• Angelina Jolie is the focus of two books and is supporting another. Reputed biographers Andrew Morton and Ian Halperin want to experience the thrill of writing about a subject who's already said everything you ever wanted to know about her and more. In fact, the ever growing Cult of Brange means you can't even make up anything interesting about her. Meanwhile Nick Kristoff, whose book Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide Jolie would like you to read, got a taste of tabloid love in their company and was stunned. [Lainey Gossip]
• Joe Jackson observes Michael is worth more dead than alive, is gross. [Celebitchy]
• Madonna is the new God of Malawi. Madonna calls for lightning to strike Britain. [Us Weekly]
• Bai Ling decided it was a good idea to sleep naked next to a cheetah. Cheetah thought this was some kind of poor man's feast provided by the human race and didn't want to offend local custom so he tried to take a delicate nibble of Bai Ling's nibbly bits. Bai Ling is A) Freaked out. B) Safe. C) A Moron. [Dlisted]
• Simon Cowell must have a curse placed on him to be followed by hair-obsessed young men everywhere he goes. [Mirror]
• Brooke Shields went to a store and an employee asked her if she wanted any help. So she punched him in the eye, kicked him in the balls, tore his head off and jumped up and down on his dead body to see blood spurt out of his corpse. Okay, no she didn't but imagine if she had. [Fox 411]
• Sophie Monk as an undressed ladybug on the sidewalk for no reason. Site NSFW. [Hollywood Tuna]
• Tinsley Mortimer's new reality show is a little low on the "reality". *faint* [Page Six]
• Mel Gibson thinks the Scots are a bunch of quarrelsome drunks in skirts. Scotland is deserted today as all Scots died laughing. [Daily Fail]
• David Beckham stares at cheerleaders, is shocked women have curves. [Sun]
• Mandatory Gosselip Update: This shit will never end. [Fox 411]
• Blind Item: C list cable reality star holds forth on tattoos, taboos and Jews. Sinks like a stone. You should know the answer! [CDAN]

The Daily News reports that the charges were dropped after an investigation because Proenza Schouler co-designer Jack McCollough, who found himself on the business end of Keifer's forehead, was being uncooperative.

"We declined to prosecute after a full investigation, including talking to the complaining witness who was quite uncooperative," a spokeswoman for District Attorney Robert Morgenthau said.

McCollough had his nose broken in the altercation, which was spurned on because Sutherland did not like the way McCollough was treating Brook Shields. This was just like the time on 24 when Jack Bauer's daughter was stuck in a trap and being attacked by a mountain lion, except Shields has more acting talent than the daughter, and McCollough is not nearly as fierce as a lion.

Yes, he may have gotten off scot-free, but his reputation is not untarnished. After all, how macho is it to beat up on fashion designers? That's kind of like beating up a 14-year-old girl with glasses.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.The creepy gold casket was wheeled in and the oddness began.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Old pal Stevie Wonder sang a sad, fitting song.

Legendary producer Berry Gordy, who helped work young Michael to the bone when he was hoofing it in the Jackson 5, called Jackson the "greatest entertainer that's ever lived." Hm.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Al Sharpton stirringly, if inaccurately, told Jackson's children that there "wun't nothing strange about your daddy." Sigh.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Jackson's childhood pal Brooke Shields tearfully recounted their shared bond over being children in the spotlight. Though, unfortunately, her constant mentioning of kids and little princes struck an awkward chord.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.A crazy congresslady from Texas wandered up on stage and said that she wished she was a Jackson and that Michael was totally innocent of all those creepy charges.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Magic Johnson came up and told a few stories. But mostly he just plugged Kentucky Fried Chicken.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.R&B singer Urrrsher won the award for Most Classless of the day, by wearing sunglasses and pretending to cry. Usher, you were never a good actor, so why try and finally go for the teary clip reel at a funeral of all places?

Toward the end, a bunch of escaped mental patients were brought on to sing a "Heal the World"/"We Are the World" World Medley that left everyone looking awkward and ashamed, except for a few of Jackson's grasping brothers, who just seemed thrilled to be on stage.

In a chilling final moment, Jackson's rarely-seen daughter Paris tearfully said she loved her father and that he was great. In a haunting evocation of a cycle continuing to grind on, her aunt Janet fixed her hair and dotingly but firmly told her "Speak up, honey. Speak up." It was pretty much devastating.

So, that was that. An odd mess of a thing—part exciting, part sad, but mostly confusing. Fitting, then, for a life lived bizarrely and publicly, a life that needed a new word for famous, a life that, in many ways, really ended and disappeared many years ago. This whole event just felt perfunctory, as if no one could imagine MJ going out without a bang, but weren't really sure how to make the appropriate gesture. So it was just a mash of things, of different tones and styles.

And then it ended, abruptly and strangely, leaving us all to ponder what it was exactly that we'd just seen.

Image via Getty

• Friends of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie say that the couple is planning to get married in New Orleans, perhaps at the end of the summer. Pitt and Jolie have resisted getting married in the past, but feel motivated to show the world that they're really in love and aren't breaking up any time soon by getting hitched, a move sure to kill the relationship once and for all. [UK Mirror]
  
  
• Brooke Shields has reached a settlement with the National Enquirer after reporters for the tabloid did one of the most bizarre things in history of "journalism"—-They showed up at a New Jersey nursing home that cares for Shields' dementia-addled mother and checked her out of the facility, claiming to be "friends" of hers. [Daily News]
  
  
• Mariah Carey is getting fat but her people claim that it's all good because she loves food and isn't afraid to pack on a few pounds to enhance her "curves." In other news, Mariah Carey recently got married, a social condition that often leads to weight gain by all parties involved. [New York Post]
  
  
• Britney Spears' LSU football-loving dad has banned booze from backstage during her concert tour in a desperate attempt to keep her sober, but that hasn't stopped Britney from hitting the London club scene during her time there. [Sun]
  
  
• Pete Doherty was on a British Airways flight to Switzerland and needed a fix, so he got out of his seat in coach, marched on down to the plane's bathroom and shot himself up. He was arrested when the plane landed. It's possible that his little act, which we suppose gives new meaning to the term "mile high club," may get him banned from the airline for life. [Dlisted]
  
  
• Denise Richards has had three boob jobs so far in her life, but she doesn't think that the kids out there should ever consider having one, because the kids are beautiful and don't need to have boob jobs, or something. [UK Sun]
  
  
• So Dr. Drew stated the obvious and said that Lindsay Lohan is a trainwreck who will more than likely wind up dead before she can clean her life up, then Lohan responded by trashing Dr. Drew on her Twitter and now the Dr. Drew/Lindsay Lohan catfight you've all been waiting for is in full swing. [EOnline]
  
  
• Gordon Ramsey got pissed at an Australian journalist and called her a "lesbian pig," and now women's groups are calling Ramsey a pig. [UK Mirror]
  
  
• Ryan Phillippe and Abbie Cornish spent the weekend watching Phillippe's children with Reese Witherspoon play Little League baseball. [PITNB]

• Rihanna was photographed leaving the apartment of Kanye West, who just broke up with his girlfriend. No word on whether or not Kanye left Rihanna an all-caps note on the bathroom mirror the next morning. [UK Sun]
  
  
• Madonna's alleged young Latin boy-toy, Jesus Luz, claims that she is nothing more than just his good friend. Ouch. [Daily News]
  
  
• Mike Tyson's daughter Exodus was playing around on a treadmill in the family home when she became accidentally tangled up in an electric cord attached to the machine. She is now on life support in an Arizona hospital. [Daily News]
  
  
• Brooke Shields wishes that she wouldn't have waited so long to get her freak on, having waited until she was 22 before giving up her virginity, largely because of low self-esteem. [US Weekly]
  
  
• Kevin Bacon, fresh from getting fleeced by Bernie Madoff, had his Blackberry stolen on the subway over the weekend. [Page Six]
  
  
• Kate Moss announced that she wants to be a novelist when her career as a model comes to an end. Should be a pretty easy transition, no? [UK Sun]
  
  
• Keifer Sutherland, fresh from an incident where he head-butted a fashion designer in a fit of boozy rage, is back on the bottle again, this time getting sloshed on the Lower East Side, with his daughter no less. [Page Six]
  
  
• Mel Gibson's rep confirmed yesterday what we all pretty much already know—-That he'd knocked up one of his Russian mistresses and that his life is a big bag of shit right about now. [People]
  
  
• Kylie Minogue is engaged to a 31 year-old Spanish male model [Perez]
  
  
• A host of celebrities went out to the Hamptons over the holiday weekend, where they did all of the things that celebrities typically do in the Hamptons—-Party and get naked. [Page Six]

• Kiefer Sutherland is trying to explain why he head-butted designer Jack McCollough at a Met Costume Institute gala after-party Tuesday night, possibly violating his probation. He says he was defending the honor of Brooke Shields, who was knocked over by McCollough, according to Sutherland. Alternate theory: serial drunk driver Sutherland was just completely wasted, which is why he was running around a hotel bar earlier in the evening "wearing a giant feather boa and acting totally crazy."
  
• Rihanna's "somewhat masculine" tuxedo-looking outfit at the Met Costume gala means she really is a lesbian just as suspected. Do her "dominatrix stockings" mean the same thing?
  
• Courtenay Semel, last seen headed to rehab, is apparently broken up with heiress Casey Johnson, who has moved on to partying with Linsday Lohan. Maybe Johnson can now enable a new self-destructive young rich lesbian.
  
• After gaining 83 pounds, Kirstie Alley won't go out in public. But she did pose for the cover of People magazine. [People]
  
• Madonna danced with "at least five men" after the Met Costume event. But she still found time to give A-Rods ex the stink eye. Such a pro. [Gatecrasher]
  
• Brad Pitt said the other night that life is hell without Jennifer Aniston, he made a huge mistake and he wants her back. According to Aniston's buddy Courtney Cox, who had a long conversation with the actor and can be counted on not to exaggerate or distort what he said. [Ian Undercover]
  
• If Paula Abdul seemed weird, it's because she was heavily drugged, she says. Honest explanation! [Scoop]

Two days after the cancellation stories made the rounds, the show went up 17% in the adult demo from the week before. And the previous week's episode went up 20%.

Those are big gains ... but they're big gains from small numbers. Friday had 3.6 million viewers and 1.4 rating among adults 18-49. Unless Shields is willing to work pro bono, that's still too low for a scripted drama in primetime. The show does better when DVR use is factored, but so does any scripted program suddenly moved to a Friday night.

...Only one more "Lipstick" episode is currently scheduled to air — on the next two Fridays NBC has scheduled other programming. NBC hasn't decided whether to run the remaining four hours. The network would probably love a couple more weeks of data to see if those Friday numbers keep rising, but given the holidays and the 13th episode wrapping this week, the network's final-final "Lipstick" decision, whatever it is, might have to be a leap of faith.

Sadly, by that time, a timid Ben Silverman will have scapegoated every single employee at NBC, leaving him the only one left to break the bad news to Brooke personally. "Brookie... ding ding ding! Beijing Ben here. Sorry babe, bad news: we're replacing Lipstick with a brand-new, rejiggered Manimal. But at least it'll give you some free time to work on that upcoming Estelle Getty project! Oh, sorry — too soon?"

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Brooke Shields says 'Lipstick' not canceled [THR]

We're so popular with DVR. We have such a following. The problem is people aren't watching it live and that affects advertisers and that means money. So, basically, they're just trying to figure out a way to reconcile our huge fanbase with advertisers and making sense for them financially.

Huge fanbase? Really?

Brooke urges you send lipstick to NBC prez Jeff Zucker! You should! Because it would probably annoy him and it's the least he deserves for scooping out some graying pink muck from Candace Bushnell's Birkin brainbag and slopping it on our plates and telling us to eat up, dammit.

Booke Shields Says Lipstick Jungle Isn't Dead Yet [New York Observer]

Last month the show made mention of something called The Hummingbird sex position. People were so curious about what this wife-pleasing technique could possibly be that they made it the top Google Trends search of the day. The crusty old ladies at wowOwow even got in the game! (Though it's still kind of unclear what, if anything, it actually is. I'm assuming it means really fast sex against a window.) Oh and it bears mentioning that Lipstick Jungle did invent the Cougarnaut Position, which can only be done with a two year old pair of Manolo Blahniks and a bitter sense of life having pretty much passed you by.

So yeah, two once buzzy shows now lost to the ages. We expect more beloved but pretty much as little-watched shows like ABC's Pushing Daisies to follow fairly soon. Pie Maker Position or not. (Blackbirds required.)

"She was so freaked out, her eyes welled up, and she actually bit her nails at one point," says the spy. "When someone pretended to dump Estelle Getty's ashes on [30 Rock star] Jack McBrayer's head, Brooke got up and walked offstage."

"She watched the rest of the show from behind a curtain backstage, with a grimace."

Shields' spokesman said she left to talk to the writers before she was about to go on.

Content that her concerns were heard, Shields returned to the panel, only to once again storm off when a simple improv exercise solicited the suggestion of, "You're a frequent narrator! And you're in a 1997 Nissan Maxima!"

• Brooke Shields balks at 'dead' gag [NY Daily News]

With other guests like Kyra Sedgwick, Eva Longoria and Tobey Maguire attending, it's no surprise the security was so tight, but why the golf carts? Did Tom and Katie really force their guests to go scootering around their mansion just to say, Look! We're Rich! You Knew That Already But, But...Look!

Though paparazzi weren't allowed to snap anywhere near the actual party, they did manage to get a good handle on just how pricey the guests' rides were: Bentleys, Lexuses and Porsches galore. We're just relieved Jeremy Piven wasn't on hand to witness the rides, lest he throw a very Ari Gold-esque fit and begin pounding away at his beloved hoopty chick magnet with his hairy bare fists.

[Photo credits: X17, Splash]

• TOM CRUISE AND KATIE HOLMES HOST A-LIST HOUSEWARMING PARTY [Us}
• TOMKAT HOST THE PARTY OF THE YEAR (WITH POSH AND OPRAH ON THE GUEST LIST) [Daily Mail]

From left, OJ Simpson heralded as a triple threat in 1977 (athlete! TV star! potential psychopath!), Olivia Newton-John had America hooked on roller skating in 1979, and 15-year old Brooke Shields was dressed in a loincloth in 1980.

Travolta appeared on an 1983 cover saying Look How Straight I Am!, Fabio was gruesomely all the rage in 1993, and some sick editor decided it would be a hoot to "disrobe" Judge Judy in 1999.

Eight entire years ago, the mag wondered if perhaps, there might be something a little kooky with Britney and her grown-up ways (prophets, those editors!), Jen and Brad tied the knot in 2000, and Tom Cruise ran off with his second beard his Vanilla Sky co-star Penelope Cruz, leaving Nicole Kidman "shocked," naturally.

• ARCHIVE: PEOPLE.COM [People]

The Accused: TMZ
The Crime: Mocking pregnant women for their changing bodies.
The Evidence: "The newest accessory in Hollywood is a baby bump. Let's just hope these don't come with stretch marks. It's all about the cocoa butter ladies!" Because when a woman brings a new life into the world, the first thing on her mind should be taking care of those unseemly stretch marks!
The Sentence: three months of Harlow Richie-Madden diaper duty and a kick in the nuts from mum-to-be Nicole Kidman.

The Accused: Drunken Stepfather
The Crime: Ageism; heightism; general assholery.
The Evidence: "If I was on the beach, which I am not and haven't been on in years because I don't live the celebrity life of luxury, I wouldn't mind lookin' at [Denise Richards] in hopes of a vagina lip hangin' out but the second a younger, tighter body walks by this hag, I'll be getting my creep on elsewhere. It's one of those better than nothing situations like the time you jerked off to your sister on a family camping trip because it was between her and your mom and jerking off to your mom just felt too wrong..." Wow, there is just so much wrong here. In Drunken Stepfather's world apparently a "tighter body" means a "better person" and it's cool to jerk off to your female family members, because all women — even the ones who are related to you — are only useful as sexual fantasies.
Additional Evidence : "Here are some pictures of Brooke Shields Leaving the hospital on crutches, I guess her legs finally gave-out from the weight of her testicles." Uh, why is Brooke Shields a man? Because she's tall? I don't even understand this one.
The Sentence: Dysentery. Drunken Stepfather can spend all that time on the toilet thinking about what he's done.

The Accused: Egotastic
The Crime: Critiquing a woman's weight; kicking someone when they're down
The Evidence:"Star Magazine is going all crazy over these Britney Spears bikini pictures, claiming she looks great after losing 20 pounds, and she's still losing more. But if you ask me, Britney Spears losing 20 pounds is like Rosie O'Donnell dropping 200: You just wouldn't notice. Regardless, no matter what Britney does, she'll never be attractive again, so I say she should just keep on stuffing her face with Cheetos. At least that way you'll be able to smell the cheesey flavour coming before she crashes her car into your ass." You know, Britney's "attractiveness" to idiots like you is sort of the least of her problems right now. Also, you're a dick.
The Sentence: A lifetime of indentured servitude at the Cheeto factory.

The Accused: The Superficial
The Crime: Implying women are men because they are not waifs.
The Evidence: "So, when I say these two rumbled, I mean, literally, the ground shook. Khloe is one solid woman. She could probably give Brooke Hogan a run for her money. Then afterwards they'd swap tips on shaving their testicles. BFFs with balls 4 life!" Jesus — just because a woman has muscles, does not mean she's a man.
The Sentence: A large dose of Nair straight to the ball sack, natch.

In this clip, watch the former model's masterful skills of desperately convincing Dave and his audience that she's totally hot, no matter how asexually rugged she appears in the photos in question. Our favorite moment comes when Dave flashes the mag's cover, featuring Madonna in one of her newly standard crotch-flashing poses, and Brooke says under her breath, "I didn't get the cover...I think I'm a little bit of competition inside." Yes, Brooke, those shots of you looking like a cross between Annie Lennox and Jamie Lee Curtis really do give Madge a run for her money.

• LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN [CBS]

On Spears:

This is one of those shots where you just put it on the blog and let the commenters take care of it...You can see that she is literally busting out of her shirt, which might be a sign she is pregnant. You can see her double chins.

We are pretty sure she’s not pregnant. We think it’s a psychological visit. She is being pumped full of drugs and that can affect her weight. I’m sure Regis kept at least 50 of these shots. You can easily keep 50 shots because she is always doing something in frame.

...I’ve never seen her drugged as much as now . She reminds me of my grandmother in France who had Alzheimer’s. She can barely walk. She walked straight into a pole the other day.

On Spears' on-again off-again boyfriend, scheming paparazzo Adnan Ghalib:

Adnan Ghalib came by accident to the business. He met a girl in the post-office three years ago and did what he did with Britney. He flirted with her, and met the dad of the girl, and became friends with the dad, and helped him to fix the house. And the dad considered him as his son. And it happened that guy was part of the paparazzi. He told Adnan, ‘I see you, you are struggling, why don't you get a camera, and I will introduce you to some of my friends at the Fame agency.’ And the first one he was covering was Britney Spears. And he started to go after Britney right away. Trying to talk to her and so on and so on.

On diva Barbara Streisand:

At her wedding she hired some big speakers on a trailer to blare heavy metal music in the direction of the paparazzi and the entertainment reporters in front of her house to screw up their stand-ups and their shots. This was while her wedding was going on in the backyard...

She doesn't care at all what she looks like when she goes out. She goes out on rainy days. She wears sweatpants. Her hair is a mess.

On Lindsay Lohan: "Lindsey Lohan didn’t do anything this week except dress extremely ugly. I guess that’s the story: Lindsey looks bad now that she is sober and chastened.”

On Tom Cruise, his wife Katie Holmes, and Cruise maybe having a thing with this woman in a picture:

She’s being too physical with him. At the same time, Tom is talking on the phone, so he wasn’t really too focused on her. The first story the viewer gets is that he might be cheating on Katie Holmes, and then people think about it for a second, and think, also, maybe he isn’t gay...

Is his relationship with Katie as perfect as what they try to portray in the press? What is really going on? Right now, we know that they are living inside the Scientology Center. They sleep and eat there, and educate their child there. They have no more house. Which is strange, yes?

On the secret cameras they have trained on Victoria Beckham:

. We have hidden cameras, so we know that she is a real mother who takes care of her kids, and that she behaves exactly the same way inside her house! You see real mothers, and you see the ones who just fake it for the camera. Anna Nicole Smith, I photographed her a couple of times with that poor kid. That was a little bit sad. Demi Moore was quite a good mother at one time in her life, until that got a bit boring for her. [Ha, I guess it's more than 18 celebs —ed.]

Atlantic: The Celebrity Hunters

Related, Atlantic main article: Shooting Britney

Related, from Radar: Snap Judgments / X17 co-owner Brandy Navarre on paparazzi principles, and why she just might be Britney's best friend

via Choire Sicha

According to the News, the ladies of Darren Star's Cashmere Mafia on ABC are not going to be blessing us with their rapid, frantic chats, supposedly enviable lives, and tired slurping of Cosmos for much longer:

A source...tells me the suits aren't confident the show will stick around. 'He just said about the show, 'Yisgadal v'yitkadash', the Jewish prayer for the dead,' laughs the ear-witness."

But perhaps the reason behind Cashmere's reported demise has more to do with casting? While Lipstick marked the return of sorely missed stars Brooke Shields and on-set dreamboat diarist Andrew McCarthy, Cashmere relied on the always dependable character actress Lucy Liu to hold down the court as his glossy heroine. And the man candy (handsome but dull Peter Hermann and bright young thing but dull Julian Ovenden) didn't stand a chance in comparison. But in the end, all the suits care about are ratings: with the News reporting the latest numbers as Lipstick's 6.4million viewers to Cashmere's 5.7 million, the rumored shutdown may be a simple case of disappointing numbers.

• 'CASHMERE MAFIA' MIGHT BE TAKEN FOR A RIDE [Gatecrasher]

There are men, too, most notably Andrew McCarthy as a suitor for Victory, who states with a cocked head and a wry smirk "They say all men are asses and all women are crazy." Oh. Oh okay. The whole thing is even more dreadful than you'd think and exactly as awful as ABC's doppelgänger series Cashmere Mafia. Really, the only two likable bits are the sort-of sexy wooing of Nico by a younger man and the reasonably pleasant Brooke Shields. Can these women "have it all"? I suppose you'll need to tune in to find out, though I don't recommend it. If you are strangely compelled to watch, I suggest you get blindingly drunk on something beforehand (not cosmos). It's really the only way I could stomach another round of watching these dopey neurotics teeter off, in heels too high, into oblivion. Here's a clip of the ladies shopping and gabbing and learning. Welcome to the Jungle. You're gonna diiiiieee.