Spray-On Tan Question Captivates Silicon Valley

With Ashton Kutcher, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Selena Gomez tech investing, it's no wonder startup founders are asking how to effectively spray tan. Dismiss it as a joke now, Silicon Valley, but in five years this'll be an actual issue.
Blogger Gets Staggering $250,000 Retention Bonus
Newspapers, magazines, TV networks and online conglomerates are laying off journalists left and right, but even the sad crumbling world of professional news delivery has a fortunate one percent. This elite group now includes Ben Parr, whose employer Mashable, the tech blog, paid him a $250,000 retention bonus only to…
Yelp Will Go Public Barring Some Sort of Miracle
Yelp, the hive of entitled creeps, "elite" monsters and extortionate salesmen, filed to IPO at up to $2 billion valuation, four times what Google once offered. If people keep occupying Wall Street forever, maybe this unprofitable company/monster will just die.
Justin Bieber's Girlfriend Is a Venture Capitalist Now
Among potential boyfriends, Selena Gomez picked Justin Bieber. Among iPhone apps that turn pictures into postcards, the singer/actress picked "Postcards on the Run," joining a $750,000 investment round, she just announced. It appears her taste might have failed her, hard as that is to believe.
Let's Rewrite Securities Law for Facebook
Two senators introduced legislation to help Facebook further evade a 47-year-old SEC disclosure rule and take on a slew of new investors. Because that's the problem in America lately, you see: Corporations are too well regulated, and we know too much about the inner workings of large, heavily capitalized institutions.
The Groupon IPO Feeding Frenzy Begins
Never underestimate the power of hype. When Groupon's clattering clown car went public today, its stock soared 40% to $28 a share from its IPO price of $20. Groupon CEO Andrew Mason—that Andrew Mason—is now worth $1.3 billion. Happy Friday!
The Groupon IPO Will Be Huge (God Help Us)
Groupon goes public tomorrow, and the financially frightful coupon startup should be a stock market hit: With about 10 times more prospective buyer than shares, the stock priced today at $20, up from an expected $16 - $18. So it looks like the tech bubble, inflated heretofore by private investment deals, is going…
Leonardo DiCaprio's Tech Investment Means We're Doomed
If you didn't start stockpiling canned goods when Ashton Kutcher somehow became a respected tech investor, you have another chance: Leonardo DiCaprio is now the latest pretty actor to put his money into an unprofitable startup.
Deal of the Day: Groupon Now Only Worth $12 Billion
What a basketcase: Groupon has slashed its proposed valuation to $12 billion from $30 billion as it ramps up for an initial public offering. So if you're in the market for a technically insolvent online discounter with shady accounting, now is the time to buy! Goldman Sachs is involved, so you just know it's a good…
MC Hammer Is Competing With Google Now
MC Hammer just launched his search engine "WireDoo" at the Web 2.0 Summit in San Francisco. The singer-turned-investor says WiredDoo goes "beyond just the keywords" into "relationship search" and "deep search." Sounds intense. Time to sample Marvin Gaye again.
Student Loan Debt Is Unimaginably Huge
Reporting live from the wavering edge of the Student Loan Bubble: congratulations, collectively impoverished college students and recent graduates losing hope week by week! You've managed to achieve what many pointy-headed "Economics" professors might have called "inadvisable" or even "insane:" the highest student…
How Dare You Talk About a Tech Start-Up Die-Off!
It's good to stir up the mind-meltingly boring world of tech news. Which is why we enjoyed today's Wall Street Journal article, suggesting an impending tech start-up die-off. The cold breath of death on their neck has raised tech insiders' hackles.
Building a Company Around FarmVille Is as Dumb As It Sounds
Zynga's been the poster child for the current tech bubble. It built an implausible sounding business around FarmVille and other Facebook games, its offices were over the top self parody, and it planned a billion dollar IPO. But everything seems to be falling apart. Go figure.
The Insane Temptations of Two Tech Bloggers
For TechCrunch's MG Siegler, temptation came from the clubby world of venture capital. For the New York Times' Nick Bilton, the lure was in the blindingly lit studios of a TV network. The writers made different choices—one took the money, the other turned it down—but the scope of their offers alone is the sign of a…
The Porn and Spam Behind Tumblr's Meteoric Rise
The sun is shining bright for Tumblr today. The microblogging platform raised $85 million and was heralded as "bigger than Wikipedia." But Tumblr's explosive growth has been driven by huge quantities of porn and spam, and that seems to make the startup uncomfortable.
