Cable News Is Almost Exclusively Watched by Old People
Just like dentures, Metamucil and fringed lampshades, cable news has a devout following in just one sector of society: the old one.
Cable News Is Going Nuts Rummaging Around Inside the San Bernardino Shooters' Apartment
Today the owner of the apartment complex in which the alleged San Bernardino shooters lived allowed several media outlets to tour (and inspect the contents of) their apartment. As you can see in the incredibly awkward clip above, MSNBC decided to broadcast one of their reporters rifling through Syed Rizwan Farook and…
Fox News "Wins" Elaborate Fox News-Created Farce
The post-debate consensus is in: “Fox News Moderators Bring a Sharpened Edge to the Republican Debate Stage,” raves the Times. They proved the haters wrong!
Area Media Reporter Unable to Coherently Align Analysis With Reporting
MSNBC’s Morning Joe, a largely unwatched showcase for a former congressman’s enormous ego, is (still) in serious ratings trouble, according to The Politico media reporter Dylan Byers:
Why Isn't Morning Joe In Trouble For its Terrible Ratings?
MSNBC recently canceled shows hosted by Ronan Farrow and Joy Reid, reportedly because the channel is tacking away from liberal programming and because the ratings were bad. But MSNBC's supposed abandonment of liberalism can't extend that far: Rachel Maddow isn't going anywhere. So if the problem is mainly ratings,…
Gotta Hear Both Sides
Don Lemon Skyped live with a member of the KKK on CNN tonight. Sure.
Is MSNBC Abandoning Its Liberal Slant?
Yesterday, MSNBC announced the cancellation of Ronan Farrow Daily and The Reid Report, both of which had consistently posted low ratings in their respective daytime slots. The news marked yet another low point in the liberal cable channel’s failed attempts to raise ratings. According to The Daily Beast, it was also…
FOX's Maria Bartiromo Debuts New Sunday Talk Show, Unfortunately
Maria Bartiromo, CNBC's disgruntled "Money Honey" pioneer, jumped ship from CNBC in November, ending her twenty-year reign at the business news network. Lucky for her, she landed an anchor job just across the street at FOX Business, where she's the weekday host of "Opening Bell."
Piers Morgan Signs Off, Has Last Word About Guns
Former CNN muckraker (haha) Piers Morgan bid farewell to his 9pm cable news time slot last night, having been ousted by the network due to flagging viewership of his Piers Morgan Live. The imported Brit dedicated his final segment to his career's latest, greatest cause: U.S. gun control.
No, soccer legend Pele is not dead. But if he did die later today, someone might want to ask CNN where they were.
Catching Up With Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
Martin King—he hasn't used the "Dr." or "Luther" or "Jr." for decades now—is living proof that even legends can get tired of being legendary. Pacing his spartan office at MSNBC's studios at Rockefeller Center on a dreary Wednesday in mid-January, King is pecking a text message back to his daughter about dinner plans…
Ah! The Cable News Network (CNN) sees the problem now: They do too much news. They'll get right on that, folks.
Our National Spies Look to Cable News for Inspiration
It is an irrefutable fact that America's spies are far more innovative than members of our television news media, right. Right?
CNN Just Let the Wrongly Accused Ricin Guy Perform a Live Country Song
Paul Kevin Curtis, the Elvis impersonator accused of sending ricin-laden letters to President Obama and others, had his charges dropped yesterday when federal authorities said they'd found "new information." Naturally, Curtis was ecstatic, and this afternoon he took to CNN to express his excitement and relief. After…
Woman 'Thinks' Herself to Orgasm on TV
Jaiya, a sexologist, thought herself to ("mini-")orgasm on Joy Behar's Current TV show last night. "Joop," she said, while climaxing. "Jip." I'll have what she's having! Am I right? A little When Harry Met Sally humor for you, folks.
Everybody is Mad at Touré For Supporting Obama's Drone Wars
Touré (pictured above interviewing T.I.) is a fine writer — or at least he was at one point. Now he mostly spends his time as a helium-filled talking head, floating drably across MSNBC's midday airwaves. This is a pretty cushy job, seeing as you can say basically anything without anyone giving a shit since the only…
Sarah Palin has quit her second job in four years, leaving Fox News. Maverick move. Anyway, more time for shopping.
As Cable News Anchors Bloviate About His Possible Senate Run, Ben Affleck Responds, 'I Don't Want to Run for Office'
Much has been made of Ben Affleck's "possible Senate run" over the past 48 hours, mostly from cable news anchors, and mostly sourced to an interview on CBS' Face the Nation in which Affleck said "one never knows" when asked about possible political ambitions.
Mike Huckabee Says Sandy Hook Shooting Happened Because We 'Removed God From Our Schools'
Fox News, casting about for answers in the wake of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, earlier blamed "online activity" and "gaming." This afternoon, former Arkansas governor and frequent Fox News contributor Mike Huckabee had a different idea: the shooting happened because we "removed God from our schools":
Fox News Blames Shooting on 'Online Activities,' 'Gaming'
Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly and analyst Keith Ablow got together on the network today to chat about some of the factors in today's tragic shooting in Connecticut. "You mentioned earlier how people lose themselves in online activities, gaming and what have you," Kelly remarks. "Reality TV is no friend of preventing…
