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rage
Bill Clinton Still Red, Shouty
Even though all the people who matter (people who are on TV) have declared his wife's candidacy finished, Bill Clinton is still out "campaigning" for some reason, and he's still an angry, ruddy man. Back in February (jesus) we explored the history of Bill Clinton's Red Face of Courage. Today, Drudge highlights this CBS clip of Bill yelling at an old woman who says Hillary didn't fix health care back in the '90s. It's true, actually, but Bill would like to point out that she tired very, very hard. Enjoy! It's depressing!
ringtones
Is Your Ringtone Annoying Enough? No? Replace it With Hillary Clinton!
Do you hate everyone around you? If so, you may wish to download one of Slate's political ringtones. No, seriously. This is what they're doing. Ringtones made of soundbytes taken from the never-ending 2008 primary elections. Like Hillary's odd laugh, John McCain calling someone a jerk, and "Yes We Can!" If you download these to your phone, you will get beaten up. But! They forgot a couple! Like, all the good ones, basically. Allow us: More »
anger
Harvey Weinstein Threatens to Destroy Democratic Party Unless His Gal Hil Wins
Hollywood strongman Harvey Weinstein is a big supporter of Hillary Clinton, because they share a similar megalomania. Weinstein, who throws a great deal of showbiz money at Democrats and who is known for his Hulk-esque temper, reportedly called up House Speaker Nancy Pelosi last month to threaten her unless the Dems handed his gal Hillary the nomination. Weinstein said he'd cut of all money to Dem congressional campaigns unless Pelosi backed the Clinton campaign's unfeasible plan to get the Dems to pay for brand new elections in Florida and Michigan. Weinsein has denied it all. Or at least he denied that it was a "threat." He owns up to calling Pelosi and "offering" "to put together a team of people to help finance a revote in Florida and Michigan." Then he threatened to eat the officials who leaked details of the call. Weinsein's owned up to a bad temper before, once telling Ken Auletta that it's the thing he dislikes most about himself. In fact, Weinstein's temper makes Weinstein so angry he feels like he's going to explode. An Entourage clip exploring this famous bad mood in a comedic style may be found after the jump. More »
death race 2000
Now What? (Hint: More of the Same)
For some reason, CBS called Indiana for Hillary Clinton at 8 p.m. or so last night, hours before anyone else dared. Katie Couric interrupted whatever nonsense they had on at the time and the CBS news website dutifully posted their story. They even got a Drudge link! So there's a lesson for you: better to be first than right. Maybe as a network without a cable news station CBS just decided to let their election coverage team go home early? Because everyone else had to stay up until 1 a.m., when the hanky panky in Lake County, Indiana finally ended and Clinton won her tiny, tiny victory. A tiny vicory that was immediately stomped upon by everyone from Drudge to Tim Russert. It's over, all the pundits said. You can go to bed! But America can't go to bed, because Hil's still staying up for that 3 a.m. call. The death march continues! More »
cheap shots
The Predictions Game, With Famous Blogger Mickey Kaus
[Monday]"Obama by double digits" in N.C.: Predicted by a blogger using a sophisticated model that ignores ... what's been happening in the campaign. Like Rev. Wright. I predict this person is wrong! ... Update: He was right. ... [via Insta] 9:27 P.M.More »
campaigns
Gore Vidal Saw This Coming
In 1960, American author and member of the designated ruling class Gore Vidal wrote a little play about how his good friend John Kennedy managed to fuck over intelligent wimp Adlai Stevenson and gain control of the Democratic party (and eventually the presidency). The play was called The Best Man, and it was made into an entertaining (and out of print) movie of the same name in 1964. It's the story of a hotly contested fight for the nomination that goes down to the wire, and all the smears and dirty tricks that make this country great. Do you see the parallels? DO YOU SEE? Well, they're actually kinda tenuous and not that informative, but it's a gripping little movie. Here's a clip, taken from a '90s BBC documentary on Vidal.
they do not move
'Times' Political Reporter Kit Seelye Admits Entire Campaign is Elaborate, Never-Ending Farce
"Finally, the pre-announced location of each candidate's 'victory' party tonight is telling: Mrs. Clinton will be in Indianapolis, Mr. Obama in Raleigh. That gives you a good idea of what each camp expects—and that tonight's results may be something of a wash. So don't be surprised to see everything start all over again tomorrow." [NYT]
mavericks
John McCain: Bullshit Artist
Yesterday, Arianna Huffington revealed that John McCain told her in 2000 that he didn't vote for George W. Bush. Which we believe. We believe that he told her this, anyway. Who knows if it was true then, or now. But McCain denied it, right away. Which leads Arianna to list all the documented times he's blatantly lied about saying something so far this campaign season. A fun little list! Of course it shows why McCain felt comfortable telling Arianna Huffington that he didn't vote for Bush in 2000. And also why he's the most popular guest in Daily Show history! More »
boldface names
Former 'Times' Gossip Now Just Publishing Sketchbook in Paper
Campbell Robertson used to have what seemed to be the most fun job at the New York Times: writing Boldface Names with crazy Joyce Wadler. Then the Times killed that bizarre little corner of the Metro section and Campbell was sent to the Broadway beat. Recently, though, he's ended up on the campaign trail, where he apparently been drawing funny pictures. In the last week, the Times has brought us three installments of Robertson's funny pictures from his trip to North Carolina, where he's been talking to voters and attending campaign events and, uh, cartooning. Doesn't the Times already have professional cartoonists on staff? Is Robertson auditioning to illustrate an issue of American Splendor? We love him, but surely there are plenty of other "occasional cartoonists" on staff they could send to upcoming primary states. Adam Nagourney's might be pretty funny. He probably draws everyone with really big heads and tiny mopeds!
mavericks
Breaking News From a Dinner Party 8 Years Ago
Arianna Huffington used to be a Republican. She was BFF with Newt Gingrich and everything! Then she switched sides and now she runs a super-liberal website where she occasionally breaks news like this: John McCain didn't vote for George Bush in 2000. But now he's a total Republican sell-out! This disappoints Arianna greatly, because she used to respect him, back when he was a maverick. We're pretty sure he's always been a mean, corrupt old bastard, but whatevs. He's probably disappointed in her, too! [HuffPo]
nsfw
Dwarf-Rape Porn Film Makes Compelling Anti-Clinton Argument
So. This is the trailer for a "documentary" called Demons for Hillary. If this trailer is any indication, the film presents a series of man-on-the-street interviews with people who are scared of Hillary Clinton interspersed with pixelated hard-core pornography, including a delightful set piece in which little people in dime-store devil costumes take advantage of nubile young women. Which is why Hillary is not fit to be President. You can download the whole film right now for ten bucks! Could someone else do this and report back to us? We are too scared to. The film came with a baffling press release. "AVAILABILITY: Filmmaker Todd Fligner is available 24/7 -Los Angeles, Ca, nationwide by arrangement and via telephone. Great last minute interview." We're sure! Full press release after the jump. It involves the phrase "threesome tirades." More »
clips
O'Reilly, Clinton Nearly Bond Over Shared Hatred of NBC
Hillary Clinton sat down with Bill O'Reilly yesterday because she apparently feels no compunction about encouraging him. The result was a reasonably reasonable interview, especially for Bill—which is not entirely surprising, as he usually saves his bullying for people who are easily bullied. He called her a socialist, yes, and then he called Teddy Roosevelt a socialist as well. At the end of the interview (which continues today) O'Reilly tried to goad Hillary into trashing NBC news. It might've worked! Bill hates MSNBC because their Keith Olbermann subjects him to the sort of personal abuse that Bill specializes in. Hillary hates MSNBC because their Chris Matthews compulsively says terrible sexist things about her. Sadly, Clinton backed down from the fight. Later today, they're gonna talk waterboarding!
coffee
Hill-Rod Vs Mr. Coffee
This is Hillary Clinton's Dukakis-in-a-tank moment. How can she answer the phone at 3 a.m. if she can't make a cup of coffee?? Also why didn't anyone help her? Was that Patti Solis Doyle's job?
things that will never happen
