Oprah's OWN Network announced today that it will be canceling production of Rosie O'Donnell's daily talk show. What talk show? Exactly. In its five months on the air, The Rosie Show has never earned sizable ratings — beginning at only 500,000 viewers and plummeting to an average of 230,000.

Free Agents, the NBC comedy about randy public relations executives, has been canceled after three episodes. This just proves what we said all along: No one cares about PR people. It joins The Playboy Club in this season's TV graveyard.

NBC has pulled the plug on The Playboy Club after last night's episode only attracted about 3.2 million viewers. It was the first show from the fall season to get the ax. Like we didn't see that coming.

TBS has unceremoniously cancelled George Lopez's late night talk show Lopez Tonight, because basically nobody watched it. It's too bad, as Lopez was so admirably gracious and inviting to Conan O'Brien when he came to the network last year. Lopez's last show will air tomorrow night. [LAT]

Sad, sad news: America's gov Eliot Spitzer—who was not so bad on TV, once they got rid of his dead-weight co-host—is not returning to CNN's prime time lineup. His show is being canceled to make way for new CNNer Erin Burnett. We never watched your show, Eliot—but we never watched just as much as we never watched your…

A&E has canceled David Hasselhoff's brand new reality show, The Hasselhoffs, after only about 500,000 people tuned into the second episode this past Sunday.

Yet again! His Outlaw show was canceled last night, making it the third failure of this most lackluster TV season. Seriously, are there any good new shows this year? No! And poor Jimmy Smits. Can't catch a break, that one.

The White House cancelled President Obama's Memorial Day speech at Abraham Lincoln National Cemetery in Chicago due to "heavy rain" and "lightning." Possible right-wing talking point: The ghosts of American soldiers refused to be memorialized by a Kenyan Muslim. [ABC]

ABC finally euthanize Ugly Betty. It used to be one of the best shows on TV, but the network system's intractable greed and antiquated system ruined it. Can't we have term limits for TV series?

Conan announced that he refuses be pushed back to the 12:05 slot, essentially ending his tenure at NBC. He cited NBC not giving his show the chance to grow. Which got us thinking, what other shows were prematurely snuffed out?

In the eyes of the fanboy international, geek auteur Joss Whedon will always be too good for television. And lucky for him, Fox didn't ruin those creds by calling the nerds' bluff and keeping his show on the air.

Fox has canceled Prison Break, its "OK, we just broke out of the prison. Now what? Oh, what the hell, let's go back in" serial. Fox president Kevin Reilly's justification is hilariously blunt.

Pushing Daisies Cancelled? Word from an informant on the set of ABC's long-struggling show hints that Daisies has baked its last pie. We can't say we didn't see it coming, but at least it died painlessly: The author who yesterday cited an anonymous sophomore series doomed by internal strife later assured us Daisies…

When one's creatively adventurous casino musical murder mystery bombs so spectacularly that everyone involved is still picking the bloody sequins from the costumes of cabaret dancers killed in the low-rated blast out of their hair several days later, one can either go into hiding, hoping the media will stop calling…

Bad news today for fans of foul-mouthed patriarchs of dysfunctional surfing dynastys who suddenly find themselves periodically levitating upon the arrival of a simple, Christlike drifter in their lives: HBO has canceled John from Cincinnati, the network's baffling first attempt at filling the void left by The…

· Neither a second straight mind-scrambling week of screening its contestants' application films nor a renewed, audience-distracting focus on host Adrianna Costa's cleavage has increased interest in Fox's deeply fucked troubled On the Lot, which drew just 2.9 million viewers and now stands accused of poisoning…

· Despite Fox's attempts to boost the struggling On the Lot's fortunes by editing the show into a more compact, once-a-week, we-will-give-five-dollars-to-anyone- who-can-explain-what-the-fuck- is-going-on-at-any-given-moment format, the show draws just 3.1 million viewers in what we assume will be one of its last…