Gawker: Capitalism

Food Cart Guy Does His Part To Save Lehman Brothers

Moe — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 17:19:09 EDT

Yesterday's Wall Street Journal featured a story about Lehman Brothers wherein the paper sent a reporter out to eavesdrop around the bank's headquarters. "It's over, man...unless we get bought out in the next 24 hours, it's over," they quoted a "young man" as saying to someone on his cell phone. Then over by a "fast food cart" the reporter quoted one of three men wearing Lehman badges discussing the future of all capitalism in the event that the government decides to stop printing money to rescue banks whose stocks have been mercilessly pointlessly attacked by all those greedy/fearful predatory/lemminglike enemies of capitalism known as "capitalists," asking: "At some point, where does it stop?" Well here's where it stops, bro: your egg and cheese. They don't serve them with a "side of digital recorder" around here anymore.

The food cart guy knows that whispers like the ones he hears outside are self-fulfilling prophecies in an irrational era like the modern ones, so he's shutting off the coffee spigot to reporters descending on the area to cover the Lehman crisis! You gotta wonder why he cares though.

I mean, sure the impending layoffs at Lehman will have some "trickle-down" effect. But in lean times won't a larger percentage of bankers be eating from the food cart in lieu of whatever fancy hotels they've been patronizing on the company dime? Ha ha ha, or maybe that's just how I wish "lean times" worked at publicly traded companies. In any case I have another theory: the food cart guy is trying to buy Lehman Brothers. Sure 24,000 employees is a little ambitious, but Lehman stock is off 93% and at least you can read the food cart's balance sheet.

Or maybe the food cart guy is just a decent guy.

Photo Of The Day [Portfolio]
Credit Crisis Strains Government's Options [WSJ]

Execs Jam While Time Inc. Burns

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 13:44:30 EDT

Media companies are all facing a fundamental quandary: They have to throw lavish, expensive events to impress advertisers, even as they slash editorial budgets in ways that upset longtime employees. Well, it's only a problem if the corporate suits are worried about perception issues, which they may not be. But you have to admit that it does look bad when People editor Peter Castro (pictured, at left) and other execs are partying it up in the Bahamas "getting a massage, being given a wii fit, jamming with some old dudes, being on vacation" at a fancy sales meeting while the company faces a hiring freeze. Hey, that's capitalism! Angry email from an insider, after the jump.

There were many annoyed Time Incers today after learning that People Magazine sent over 300 people to the Bahamas for 3 days while lay offs continue, economy is shaky and Time Inc has a hiring freeze. Many would have preferred they spend the money for a company vacation, on the employees working double since Time Inc wont spend money on needed back up. Instead hiring freelancers, consultants and temps who dont need health care etc. Dancing with the Stars were flown out, Roger Daltry played (for those who dont know who he is, you are not alone) , a youtube singer bored them, they had massages, went to clubs, played golf and ate well. Nice message to Wall Street not to mention the other titles denied sales meetings.

"Our customers wanted more flip-flop luxury"

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 05 May 2008 13:17:59 EDT

See these flip-flops? They're not just any flip-flops. They're high fashion, "Married to the Mob" flip-flops, and they cost $42. Can you spot the reason why this is stupid? That's right: you pay ten times what you would pay for a plain pair of flip-flops, in order to have a brand name which is covered by your foot when you are wearing them. I imagine fashion snobs must just hang these flip-flops jauntily over their shoulder instead of slipping them on their feet, so that the logo can shine freely. In fact, the entire idea of paying extra for name-brand flip-flops is a bit ridiculous. But the price tag can get much, much worse than $42. Allow us introduce you to PechePlatinum—the "World's Most Expensive Flip-Flops."

PêchePlatinum uses PêcheBlu's patent pending ultra-sports shoe base with hand-matched crocodile straps for magnificent comfort. These ultimate flip flops are for those who want to express their individuality in a world of mass production.

Who wants to be seen as just another schlub wearing mass-produced flip-flops? "Our customers wanted more flip flop luxury and crocodile worked perfectly to add quiet elegance, which is the essence of our footwear," said the company's CEO, hilariously.

And here they are, in all their glory. They cost $400. Please email us if you spot these on the streets:

Back When America Was Goofier

Hamilton Nolan — Fri, 02 May 2008 15:53:03 EDT

Pop culture is always a step behind the real cutting-edge culture that defines what's cool in the current zeitgeist. And mass media advertising, with its drive for universal appeal, is generally made from an even weaker brew than pop culture. What that means for us is that these ads from the 1950s and 60s—which lack not only today's sense of political correctness, but also their own era's sense of cool—are an entertaining lens through which to view the age of beatniks and free love. Groove your way to the hippie party with a 1969 stereo in your new General Motors automobile! Six classic examples [via Flickr/ Coudal], after the jump.

Craven Fashion Mag Eds' Crazed Beggings For Flashy Crap!

Choire — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 13:20:55 EST

The blogfest that is T magazine's website has taken a turn for the greedy, as the staff has begun posting "holiday wish lists" that might as well be coded solicitations for publicists! "Fashion magazine editors may have it worse than the general population. Every day we find ourselves surrounded by beautiful objects," say the supposedly tongue-in-cheek bloggers, before going on to solicit Brunello Cucinelli wool flannel travel jackets and the harlequin dress from Miu Miu's Spring/Summer collection. ATTENTION PUBLICISTS: I WOULD LIKE A NEW PAIR OF SHOES, BECAUSE THESE HAVE HOLES, FOR SERIOUS. SEND THEM TO 76 CROSBY STREET, NY NY 10012 BEFORE MY LAST DAY, 12/31. KTHXBAI!

The Federal Communications Commission has ...

Maggie — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 15:40:16 EST

The Federal Communications Commission has voted to allow broadcasters in the 20 largest media markets to also own their very own newspaper. The decision overturns a 1975 ban that noted "it is unrealistic to expect true diversity from a commonly owned station-newspaper combination." Ah, so goes the final obstacle barring the way of the inevitable alliance of Clear Channel and News Corp. Dark and difficult times lie ahead; a new age has begun. But there are worlds beyond our own. Power can be held in the smallest of things. Or something. [CBS]

Goldman Sachs Bonuses To Average $600K

Choire — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 10:50:14 EST

Dear all dudes who work at Goldman Sachs: We're in. Let's roll. Seriously, if you're taking home $600K (on average) for Christmas, we are all willing to stay home and tend the plants on the terrace and make you dinner and we don't really care if you're a schlub who thinks therapy is for wusses and you have five asthmatic dachshunds and self-loathing. Fine! Yes you, Steven Schukei, 30, VP of technology—you win New York!

Goldman success brings unwanted attention [Reuters] [Photo: AP/Bebeto Matthews]