Carla Bruni has befriended a homeless man who lives near her Paris home. She gives him cash and even offered to put him up in a hotel for a month. Denis, 53, declined. He's not that kind of guy. [BBC]

He loves her so much he cast her in his next movie. Rosie O'Donnel's weird date, Courtney Love in a strip club, and Zac Efron thinks stars are famous. This is the 11:26 Gossip train to New Haven. All aboard!

Julianne Moore crossing a street in the meatpacking district ... Amanda Seyfried kissing boyfriend Dominic Cooper during lunch at Bar Pitti ... Carla Bruni and Nicolas Sarkozy leaving a restaurant on Madison Avenue ... Whitney Port getting out of an SUV before an appearance on Regis & Kelly ... Hugh Jackman picking…

• Michael Jackson was laid to rest yesterday evening, exactly ten weeks after his death. Gladys Knight performed; Al Sharpton delivered a sermon; Lisa Marie Presley, Elizabeth Taylor, Chris Tucker, Macaulay Culkin and Mila Kunis put in appearances; and the Jackson siblings color-coordinated their outfits, per usual.…

We may have a new hero: Miyuki Hatoyama. While boring first ladies like Michelle and Carla like to remain prim and proper, Miyuki enjoys breaking boundaries, like confessing she was kidnapped by aliens.

Anne Hathaway walking in the East Village with boyfriend Adam Shulman, and later shopping in SoHo with a friend (left) ... Matt Damon leaving dinner at Da Silvano ... Jennifer Lopez shooting scenes for her new movie ... Robert Pattinson walking downtown ... comedian Robert Klein walking with his girlfriend on the…

The infamous Vogue editrix loses her party planner, House as a tranny-nun, Governator Ahnold's real-life action sequence, a sad Hollywood divorce, midgets, gays, nerdy Jews, scary Americans, more Gossip Girl action, and Gary Busey. Presenting your Saturday morning Gossip Roundup:

• The owner of M2, the club formerly known as Crobar and Mansion, says he may sue Beyoncé now that she appears to be backing out of a deal to perform at the club for $200K. [P6]
• It's been nearly 10 months since Jeremy Piven put a deadly piece of fish in his mouth and the sudden onset of mercury poisoning forced…

Man, Europe. We elected this classy guy after you made fun of us for years about that "cowboy" (btw: here in America, only morons thought he was a "cowboy"), and now your leaders are all running around with naked ladies.

• The new H&M at 86th Street and Lexington opens at noon tomorrow. [AFB, Racked]
• Scarlett Johansson is replacing Penélope Cruz as the face of Mango. [WWD, SF]
• For the first time, the CFDA is tacking on a "Popular Vote Award" to this year's show. As the name implies, it will allow the public to weigh in,…

• CBS has released more footage from Morley Safer's interview with Anna Wintour from this Sunday's 60 Minutes. In this installment, Anna explains why she insists on wearing sunglasses indoors. (The answer: It's her "armor.") [CBS]
• Matthew Williamson's second collection for H&M arrived in stores today. [Racked]
•…

• Olivia Palermo's imaginary career is on fire. The City star is reportedly leaving her "job" at DVF to "work" in the publicity department at Elle. So if you see anything in Elle that seems to have been ripped from another magazine, now you know who to blame. [P6]
• Jay-Z demanded a Maybach, champagne, "good…

If Michelle Obama could be forgiven for feeling a little competitive toward France's first lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, especially when it comes to matters of fashion and all-round feminine allure, we think it's safe to say that this morning, Michelle will be feeling glad that her vanity, as far as we know, stops short…

• Jesus Luz isn't making many friends with his fellow male models. At an event last week, the other models in the room were "gossiping like catty girls" about his "big, swollen head," and bitching that he's only booking work because of his relationship with Madonna. Really, you think? [NYDN]
• Lindsay Lohan flew to…

Disappointingly for observers of the goings-on at the G-20 Summit, Carla Bruni Sarkozy wasn't present, so while the media feigned enthusiasm at the task of judging Michelle Obama's outfits alongside the other First Ladies', it really wasn't much of a competition. Thank goodness, then, that the Obamas are now in…

Oh hey did you hear that the Obamas went to England? They met the queen! And crappy presents notwithstanding, it was such a god damn regal moment that the world media, en masse, orgasmed.

So President Obama and all the European leaders are getting together to solve global terrorism, reverse the economic disaster, and "foster world unity." Not that we don't have the utmost faith that a bunch of men in suits can perform those miracles, but it's a relief to see that the international media has its…

• What's Ashley Dupre been up to recently? She's been doing lots of yoga, which she credits with saving her life. And it also introduced her to Russell Simmons, who is now her "mentor" and is making her feel more "liberated." Is that the term they use these days? [P6]
• LiLo and Sam Ronson got in another fight…