If you can't stomach reading through another Cary Tennis Salon advice column—and who can, they're ridiculous—we'll summarize today's. A gay writes a long-ass letter (all of Cary's correspondents write long-ass letters; the dude's audience appears to be comprised entirely of damaged hypergraphics) about a male…

Dear Cary Tennis, Salon Advice columnist,

Dear Cary Tennis, Salon Advice Columnist,

Last time we checked in with Salon sage Cary Tennis, he was telling a writer who found her own writing crappy to keep on plugging at her MFA. Now he has some similarly astute advice for "Getting Nowhere," a woman who worries that she won't find a man "witty" enough to deserve to fertilize her eggs before they all dry…

Creative Writing MFA programs have always struck us as a bit of a scam. We mean, we respect that they provide workshop-leading jobs for writers who are qualified for little else, and we admire the work they do in the 'keeping entitled assholes who consider themselves artistes far away in Iowa where they can't annoy…