casey+johnson - Gawker

posts about #caseyjohnson more →
Meet Jasmine Lennard, Casey Johnson Vibrator Victim and Transatlantic Fameball
Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
Heiress Accused of Breaking, Entering, and Discarding Used Vibrator in Supermodel's Bed
Kiefer Sutherland Head-Butts Only When a Woman's Honor is at Stake
Courtenay Semel And Casey Johnson Find Non-Flammable Peace At Sundance
Madonna Demands to Be Less Domineering
Amateur Stylist Courtenay Semel Denies Angrily Fire-Treating Ex-Girlfriend's Hair
Hair Arson Caps Billionaire Lesbian Brawl
Madonna Compares McCain To Hitler
Wherein We Attempt to Comprehend Celebrity Lesbian Nexus Courtenay Semel

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BlinkyMcChuck
12:21 AM

In reply to Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
It's like Grey Gardens meets Valley of the Dolls.
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i'm a bottle
12/02/09

In reply to Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
These women are all kinds of crazy, but it's a frighteningly sexual, Nietzschean kind of crazy. It's like the women from a Georges Bataille story suddenly walked off the page and onto my monitor. And I'm intrigued.
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Edited by i'm a bottle at 12/02/09 11:30 AM i'm a bottle was starred i'm a bottle was unstarred

BookishLookish
12/02/09

@i'm a bottle: Bot, I personally guarantee you that you want no truck with these broads. Women like this are:

1) Bad in bed. They lie there like a lox and moan, and you cannot mount their bodies in hopes of any pleasure due to boneyness and a lack of muscle tone, a result of NEVER DOING ANYTHING OF VALUE ever. In the case of the model, she can barely move her pelvis, let alone her entire body, in the bed due to low energy because she never consumes calories.

2) Functionally illiterate. Would not know a reference to Nietzsche or Bataille.

3) Fuck-nuts crazy, as you well know, and will fuck up your life outside the bedroom. And crazy smells bad, like burnt plastic.
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i'm a bottle
12/02/09

@BookishLookish: I shall take your sagacious advice under advisement.
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Mama Penguino
12/02/09

@BookishLookish: So true, Booky. I've heard this complaint from many of my male friends who killed themselves to bag a supermodel type and then complained about having sex with a bicycle. Sick shit, for sure.
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ParahSalin
12/02/09

@i'm a bottle: I agree Bottle, I'm intrigued and aroused. I know it's wrong to be attracted to either of them, but I just don't wanna be right. I've known Casey Johnson was crazy (6 ways until Sunday) before this latest news came out.
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OrneryBabe
12/02/09

@BookishLookish: But they're crazy. What about the theory that crazy people fuck really well?
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BookishLookish
12:21 AM

@OrneryBabe: Darling, in my vast experience in the world of l'amour, I have had many crazy and non-crazy; of the former, some were amazing/hot crazy, some were terrifying crazy, some chatty sexers created a whole new level of crazy that freaked me out, some silent crazy ones with their eyes told a whole crazy-ass story that I have yet to rid from my conscious mind. At the end of the day, it is so, so not worth the heat of crazy to tolerate what comes after the lovin', please learn from my mistakes, hon. You know it's you, Babe.
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econdave
12/02/09

In reply to Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
I can't believe I've followed this story enough to know it, but Lennard says she is not Johnson's ex.

"Lennard said she had never had sex with Johnson."

[www.nypost.com]

Also, best newspaper sentence ever: "Semel allegedly beat Johnson up and lit her hair on fire during a catfight at Semel's home."

(Not that I condone domestic violence. But there's all kinds of crazy in that sentence.)
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BookishLookish
12/02/09

In reply to Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
Fuck you, Casey bleachy-haired crazy-ass baby adopter and abandoner. And fuck you, scrawny creepy model girl for going public with this sad story. And you're a liar because you couldn't care for a corned beef sandwich, let alone a baby with those creepy Auschwitz arms.
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eastofwest
12/02/09

@BookishLookish: And this isn't body snark?
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BookishLookish
12/02/09

@eastofwest: It is body snark. The correct kind, if you can even get your mind around that. If you don't like it, you can fuck off back to Jezebel.
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eastofwest
12/02/09

@BookishLookish: Breathe. I wasn't criticizing. I got called out for a similar comment on Jezebel and was wondering if there are different standards at each site. Looks like there are.
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BookishLookish
12/02/09

@eastofwest: OK, sorry, kid. If you hang around here enough you'll soon learn I'm a mean old bitch. But don't let Gawker or Jezebel change what you want to express, set your own standards, eastofwest. If you think an anorexic model is fucked up, just say it. This PC-cheesy bullshit everyone is still spewing? It is not useful.
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VittoreRodeo
12/02/09

@BookishLookish: I think I love you.
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i'm a bottle
12/02/09

@eastofwest: Actually, it's more of a snap judgment tinged with body snark.
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i'm a bottle
12/02/09

@eastofwest: I've never understood those "body snark" rules because some of the veteran commenters on the site regularily make comments about people's appearances but then turn around and attack commenters they don't recognize for the same thing, sometimes during the same post. With me, I said something about that family with twenty kids. I said that everyone had the same goofy look in his/her eyes as the father had, and that was enough to merit a disemvoweling. Obviously I'm still not over it.
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Edited by i'm a bottle at 12/02/09 8:31 PM i'm a bottle was starred i'm a bottle was unstarred

i'm a bottle
12/02/09

@VittoreRodeo: Get in line.
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i'm a bottle
12/02/09

@i'm a bottle: The worst part of it was how this queen bee of sorts got involved, and then she said something sugary-sweet and consolatory about how she has days on which she's made the "worst comment of the day" and so on. It was a masterful putdown couched in an ostensibly nice gesture that went light years beyond patronizing.
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eastofwest
12/02/09

@i'm a bottle: Also seems like it's ok to body snark bad people like Ann Coulter and certain nasty socialites but not pop culture icons or cool kids. Also not sure I see a meaningful difference between saying someone's low-cut dress looks laughable on the red carpet versus saying that their sternum is troublingly bony. Yeah, I'm not quite over it either, apparently.
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i'm a bottle
12/02/09

@eastofwest: It's also not all right to body snark on children, unless they're really overweight, then you can judge them. But then you have to do it via their parents.
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RollsRoyceRevenge
12/02/09

In reply to Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
Jasmine appears to be wearing a shredded nun.
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RollsRoyceRevenge
12/02/09

In reply to Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
I think this was already a movie--the blonde wakes up at the end and realizes she's fucked. David Lynch, director.
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DennyCrane
12/02/09

In reply to Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
Every time I think of Casey Johnson, I think of the part in Ghostbusters right before the arrival of Gozer, where Sigourney Weaver and Rick Moranis get turned into those dog-looking things and Bill Murray turns to Dan Ackroyd and goes, "so, she's a dog."
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resipsaloquacious
12/02/09

In reply to Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
That'sa it! No lunch today -- I am thinspired!
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SidAndFinancy
12/02/09

@resipsaloquacious: I was with you, until Bookish mentioned the corned beef.
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AzureTexan
12/02/09

In reply to Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
It's possible, though perhaps not probable, that Johnson was using the vibrator to whisk lime juice and cornstarch in a medium heavy saucepan, knowing that cranberry-lime tarts are a delicious and popular dessert.
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dandles
12/02/09

@AzureTexan: I usually don't throw my vibrators on the bed after cooking. Then again, I probably didn't go to a famous cooking school like Courtney Lindsey Semel Johnson did, or whatever her name is.

On a related note, please link the recipe for your cranberry-lime tarts. They sound awesome!
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AzureTexan
12/02/09

@dandles: Will do!

P.S. Also included in my line of I'll-have-what-she's-having desserts is my exciting new Triple Creme Tart.
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Z und Vielpunkt's chick
12/02/09

In reply to Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
With Heather Matarazzo as Courtenay Semel.
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drunkexpatwriter
12/02/09

In reply to Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
I'm still confused as to what sort of message you are trying to send when you leave a wet vibrator in the bed of an ex.

Is this a come on?

A romantic gesture?

Some weird lesbian way of saying "fuck you?"

What would the gay male equivalent of this be? I'm not sure a used Fleshlight would be quite the same thing.
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HowardRoarkLaughed
12/02/09

@drunkexpatwriter: And how did Semel recognize the underwear as being Jasmine's? Was her name on it?

Were they at summer camp?

Too many unanswered questions! Aghch!!!
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drunkexpatwriter
12/02/09

@HowardRoarkLaughed: Yeah, I'm pretty sure I couldn't tell if a girl I was hooking up with was wearing some other girl's panties - even if I'd seen them on the other girl.

Like, how long do you look at panties before you pull them off her?
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Z und Vielpunkt's chick
12/02/09

@HowardRoarkLaughed: How did the lesbian Don Juan recognize another lady's underwear? I have a theory.
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HowardRoarkLaughed
12/02/09

@Z und Vielpunkt's chick: That's a valid point.

If I had to pick my wife's underwear out of a lineup, I'd be surprised if I got 50% correct.

But then again, I'm a dude. It ain't the undies I'm looking at most times.
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Z und Vielpunkt's chick
12/02/09

@HowardRoarkLaughed: Yeah, lesbians are women first. We notice the undies.
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notsofresh
12/02/09

@drunkexpatwriter: "Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear, and when I do it's always something unusual."

-Bill Murray, Stripes, 1981
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braak: You are, as usual, completely correct.
12/02/09

@drunkexpatwriter: Well, these are all rich people, though. Their panties are gold-encrusted and made from ermine fur and diamonds, and each one is probably completely unique.
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mexiback
12/02/09

@HowardRoarkLaughed: Exactly! Like, did the skeleton's mom embroidered her name on them or something?
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Mama Penguino
12/02/09

@HowardRoarkLaughed: I cannot speak for all women, but most of us have our favorite undies that are recognizable to other women with whom we are close. When I lived with two women in an apartment in college, I could absolutely tell whose underpants were whose from the pile that was removed from the dryer.
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Pope John Peeps II
12/02/09

In reply to Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
Her parents let their insane daughter buy a child, then cut her off financially? Basically ensuring that this tiny girl would, what... die?
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pollyannacowgirl
12/02/09

@Pope John Peeps II: While she was probably an adult and they technically can't stop her from "adopting", they should have used their money and power to prevent it until she found another project or obsession.

As the grandparents of this child, I think they are obligated to step in and make her life at least as good as it was in Fuckedupstan.

Stories like this make my blood boil.
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Pope John Peeps II
12/02/09

@pollyannacowgirl: Well, they certainly can't stop this girl, but they also have some responsibility for this thing that is their new granddaughter.
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jerusalemcricket
12/02/09

@Pope John Peeps II: The item mentions that Casey's mother Sale took the little girl from Casey and is caring for her. So, taking responsibility.
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shag_carpet_bomb
12/02/09

@jerusalemcricket: Am I wrong, or was the feud with her family over a boyfriend of her Aunt's? and then the baby thing was like, I'll show you, old Aunt who got the guy? I might be wrong on the details, I know there was drama over a boyfriend.
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RandomLunatic
12/02/09

In reply to Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
Man, in about 35 years or so the Casey Johnson story is gonna make Grey Gardens seem genteel.
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Mike Jahn
12/02/09

In reply to Casey Johnson Is Broke and Abandoned, According to Her Used Vibrator Victim
Aw. The house on Mulholland needs a cleaning.
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1WordUp
12/02/09

@Mike Jahn: Maybe she'll be on "Hoarders".
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Duck_Lips
12/02/09

@1WordUp: My new secret favorite show. Although I stay up cleaning until 4 a.m. after watching it.
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Swifter
12/01/09

In reply to Heiress Accused of Breaking, Entering, and Discarding Used Vibrator in Supermodel's Bed
That's a great picture of Taylor Momsen.
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