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Celebrity Jesus: Original Gangster Version

Hey kids: you think Catholicism is all about musty old churches and child-molesting priests? Think again, yo! Everything that you think is cool came from a man named g-o-d—including blunt-smoking gangster rapper Snoop Dogg. Deify him! But he's not the only one of you young peoples' false idols who came from the Godmeister. That's right, Sienna Miller did too! These two ads from the Australian version of Marie Claire are supposed to promote the Catholic Church's upcoming World Youth Day. 1-8-7 with a gat in your mouth, Jesus! Gaze upon the full versions of two [REAL] horrifying ideas of youth outreach: More »

outrage

Dear Bill Maher: The Pope's Not So Bad!

The Mohammad cartoons, the purposefully extra-offensive South Park episodes, and Bill Maher: not funny. Also, if you ignore them, they can't hurt you! SO WHY DON'T PEOPLE EVER IGNORE THEM? Bill Maher said something OUTRAGEOUS about the Pope, and the Catholic church. The outrageous thing he said is argurably true, if inelegantly put. Specifically, he called the Pope a Nazi, which he very briefly was when he was a little boy, and he called the Catholic Church a "child-abusing cult," which, if you have a broad-enough definition of cult, is basically what they are. Anyway—the American Life League has launched a website calling for Maher to be fired from his little HBO show. Ok guys! Jesus, you're getting all worked up about Bill Maher? There is a rich history of virulent anti-Catholicism in this great nation, but it pretty much ended once we all decided the Irish were allowed to be White. Attacking the Pope is no more "hate speech" than calling George W. Bush a war criminal. But: confidential to Bill M: you're taking on the Pope? You got nothing better to do with your time? He's not that bad! Seriously, as Popes go, he's one of the least damaging ever. More »

shouting heads

Bill Maher Bowing To Pope Nazis?

Not being well tuned in to the Catholic outrage circuit, we missed the big controversy this week over Bill Maher calling the Pope the head of a "child-abusing religious cult," and saying "he used to be a Nazi and he wears funny hats." That sounds fairly accurate, no? Not to Catholic League president and perpetually outraged man Bill Donohue, who demanded an apology on behalf of all Catholics worldwide who care about trivial things. And now Donohue says that he's been assured that Maher plans to apologize tonight for "falsely accusing the pope of once being a Nazi." Because in fact the Pope was just "conscripted into a German Youth organization (from which he fled as soon as he could)." Is Bill Maher now expected to be nuanced when it comes to the objects of his hate? Doesn't really sound like him. If you're reading this, Mr. Maher, and I know you are: just shout "Jesus loved whores!" at the end of your apology, to maintain your cred. The clip of his original Pope rant, after the jump. More »

benedict moves

Meet the First Internet Pope!

The Pope is coming! The Pope is coming! Pope Benedict Ratzinger and His All-Starr Band are on their way to the States for Ratzi's first American tour! It's the Apostolic Journey to the United States '08! Helllllloooo, Baltimore—are you ready to ruminate on the relationship between reason and faith??? Yes, America is thrilled to finally mean Pope Ratzi, the first pope of the Internet Age, according to noted papacy and information technology expert Peggy Noonan, whose column on the visit is a seriously backhanded compliment about how she knew cuddly teddy bear pope John Paul II, and Ratzi, who looks like a breeding experiment between Pat Robertson and a raccoon that somehow became a zombie Sith Lord, is no John Paul II. More »