The plan is the brain child of sinisterly named Entertainment Industry Foundation, a non-profit which, their website chillingly states, "harnesses the collective power of the entertainment industry and channels its unique assets to raise awareness and funds for critical health, educational and social issues in order to make a positive impact in our community and throughout the nation"— a.k.a. ruining entertainment for everyone with a bunch of ham handed do-gooder messages.

Documents obtained by the Big Hollywood website, reveal the depth of the conspiracy to drown out jokes and plot twists with venerable references to "service and volunteerism."

As shown in the excerpt below, the EIF promises that the Up With Community guidelines will be "organically' worked into the plotlines in a non-intrusive way, but haven't we all heard that promise before? Did the horrors of Green Week suddenly never happen?

And besides, isn't forcing plotlines down a show's throat the definition of intrusive? What is the non-intrusive version of inserting a plotline that otherwise would have never been anywhere near a show? Or a note of earnestness into a series in which jeering cynicism is the domination tone, like say the NBC Thursday night line-up?

Well, these EIF'ers better look out. It's one thing to mess with Americans health care or tax deductions, but when you come after their TV shows...if America has to get up off its couch its not gonna get up quietly.

Earlier this week, the Nightlife Preservationists—dedicated to keeping clubs cool and shit, and making sure they don't suck because of sucky people who should just go back to Kansas or wherever if you can't take the noise, bro, welcome to the Big fucking Apple—had a launch party for their cause, hosted by Chloe Sevigny.

Chloe wore a "Save the Beatrice" T-shirt, a reference to the West 12th Street place that was recently shut down by the city. Her brother, Beatrice owner Paul, who deejayed at the party, also had his hipster hangout on the brain. He refused to give an interview, blaming the media for the closure by publicizing the nightly clouds of cigarette smoke inside. The NPC plans to support candidates who support nightlife, and City Council members Peter Vallone Jr., David Yassky, Jessica Lappin and Gale Brewer all made appearances amid the thumping music and gyrating go-go dancers.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.1. Peter Vallone, Jr. is a total asshole who would love to throw all graffiti writers in jail for decades and vowed to jail parents if their kids are found drinking, neither of which should go over well with the "nightlife community." Solidarity, party people.

2. This party was invitation-only. That's not "nightlife." That's your personal schmoozefest. Kind of like the Beatrice!

3. As civic causes go, "Save the Beatrice" is roughly on par with the right of NYU building occupationists to have vegan lunches delivered.

4. Let's tackle this issue after we finish up the "education" and "health care" things.

Other than that you have our full support.
[Party pics!]

The redesign is built around a new "stream" of status updates. It closely mimics the "timeline" feature of Twitter, a much smaller service which, like Facebook user, allows people to post short messages which are then broadcast to friends. But in adopting Twitter's simplified look, Facebook threw out or hid a whole host of features users have grown used to. (Try finding upcoming events, for example, or looking for updates on new friends people have made.)

A Facebook application built to poll users on the design is running 94 percent against the new design, with some 716,000 "no" votes against 44,000 "yes" votes.

One might argue that Zuckerberg didn't do the design to please the lowest common denominator of users, but instead was trying to win over the cognoscenti of Silicon Valley, who have been buzzing nonstop about Twitter. If so, he missed that target badly, too.

Facebook has a special program called "Great Apps" to recognize the best third-party add-ons to the social-networking sites. The favored few include iLike, a music app, and Causes, an app built by a startup called Project Agape which helps people rally their friends to various social issues.

Both have close ties to Facebook: Marc Bodnick, an influential Valley investor who sits on iLike's board, is the brother-in-law of Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg. Project Agape is backed by former Facebook president Sean Parker, who still owns an estimated 5 percent stake in the company.

But guess who's been dissing Facebook's redesign on Facebook? iLike CEO Ali Partovi and Project Agape's Joe Green. Green recently wrote:

The stream does not out-Twitter Twitter and under-Facebooks Facebook.

Partovi snarkily noted that the new design inspired him to join Twitter — and employees at Slide, another Facebook-app maker, applauded his wit:

And mind you, these are people who make a living off Facebook. If they hate it, what friends will Zuckerberg have left?

Jim Stengel is retiring as head of marketing at P&G—the world's biggest advertiser—and starting up his own marketing firm that he says is about "defining what a company does — beyond making money — and how it can make its customers' lives better."

Though the WSJ describes this approach as "newfangled," it's been around for years. You know what the ceiling is on the market for this type of thing? The ceiling is how much extra leftover cash companies have to throw around after they do their real marketing, which has the goal of making money. Nothing "beyond making money" comes about until the "making money" part is accomplished. Corporate social responsibility is considered a luxury product. Which is why Jim Stengel's firm is doomed, according to his less conscience-plagued peers:

This approach is "not going to save your bacon in this tough world," says Jack Trout, president of Trout & Partners, a marketing-strategy firm in Old Greenwich, Conn. Consumers are "going for the cheaper guy now."

There ain't no love in corporate marketing, Jim. [WSJ; pic via]

Causes, Inside Facebook notes, is part of Facebook's "Great Apps" program — handpicked applications which enjoy special treatment from Facebook, including more frequent appearances in users' news feeds. What makes Causes a Great App? One hopes it doesn't have anything to do with Green being Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg's Harvard roommate. (Chart by Inside Facebook)

• Ellen Urges Californians to Vote No on Prop. 8 [YouTube]

Facebook has been punishing widgetmakers for some time now on its platform, banning them here and there, for the most opaque of reasons. Widgetmakers should probably glad to hear the favoritism is at least codified now, and comes in the form of a carrot, not just a stick. But they aren't that happy. There is resentment among some widgetmakers over the politicking gaining preference on Facebook's platform will now likely require: "[We are] in the business of satisfying users every day, not lobbying for subsidies." No wonder Facebook put Elliot Schrage, a thoroughly political former think-tanker, in charge of the platform.

"DJs are the least compensated in the industry element...I am calling on the industry to show support of an event to unify DJs and create future economic safety for these people. The Million DJ March will be the conclusion to a long road of requests from many markets to aid in our mission of security."

Who knew that DJs were so threatened? Louis Farrakhan, who started this whole phenomenon with his Million Man March—the one that actually drew a million people—must be so proud to see what his idea has become: a bitch session for scratchmasters.

Anything less than 1,000,000 DJs will bring the cause crashing down like a pair of Technics perched on a shaky table, so register now.

I would like to mention a pet peeve of mine, as long as we're on the subject.

Partners always seem to put Starbucks second, the rest of their lives first. This might not sound unusual or annoying, but it is. ANY time a meeting or event or shift is scheduled outside of some partner's ridiculously thin availability, they complain and say there's no way they can go.

They will ALWAYS skip a shift or meeting at Starbucks. They will NEVER skip class, a shift at their other job, or plans they have with friends.

So you know what? If somebody does repeatedly refuse to come to meetings or events because they "can't", I can completely understand letting them go if it goes on too long.

But I still don't believe this story.

Posted by: waltie | Apr 1, 2008 8:15:31 AM