Gawker: Causes

Matt Damon Talks Like Girl To End Poverty

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 10:59:23 EDT

ONE is the big, vague, utopian project to fight poverty with a nice website and Livestrong-type bracelet sales. They do other things too, I'm sure. It's comparable to Al Gore's effort to end global warming with star power and earnest ads. But ONE has better ads, because they're slightly less earnest. The latest, out today, reveals Matt Damon's true inner femininity:

Million-Whatever Marches Getting Out Of Control

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 01 May 2008 14:58:23 EDT

Not that we have to remind you, but you should be making your preparations now to attend the August 30 "Million DJ March" in Washington, DC. One million DJs—a number equal to almost all of the DJs in Williamsburg—will "descend on Washington to celebrate decades of service to the entertainment industry." And what worthier cause could there be?

"DJs are the least compensated in the industry element...I am calling on the industry to show support of an event to unify DJs and create future economic safety for these people. The Million DJ March will be the conclusion to a long road of requests from many markets to aid in our mission of security."

Who knew that DJs were so threatened? Louis Farrakhan, who started this whole phenomenon with his Million Man March—the one that actually drew a million people—must be so proud to see what his idea has become: a bitch session for scratchmasters.

Anything less than 1,000,000 DJs will bring the cause crashing down like a pair of Technics perched on a shaky table, so register now.

Employee Canned For Not Putting Starbucks First

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 13:57:11 EDT

A former Starbucks employee named Mary-Elise Smilek says she was fired after four years with the company, just because she couldn't attend last month's mandatory 3-hour retraining session/ PR stunt. She had a midterm to study for. Harsh! Now she's the subject of much debate among the bored employees and company drones at the Starbucks Gossip blog. Some say she's a hoax; some say she's a victim; and the most hardcore corporate robots say: she got what she deserved for not completely dedicating her life to the Starbucks cause!

I would like to mention a pet peeve of mine, as long as we're on the subject.
Partners always seem to put Starbucks second, the rest of their lives first. This might not sound unusual or annoying, but it is. ANY time a meeting or event or shift is scheduled outside of some partner's ridiculously thin availability, they complain and say there's no way they can go.

They will ALWAYS skip a shift or meeting at Starbucks. They will NEVER skip class, a shift at their other job, or plans they have with friends.

So you know what? If somebody does repeatedly refuse to come to meetings or events because they "can't", I can completely understand letting them go if it goes on too long.

But I still don't believe this story.

Posted by: waltie | Apr 1, 2008 8:15:31 AM

Party Shall Go On for Deported Whoring Expert

Pareene — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:30:44 EDT

British dandy and self-taught expert in criminality Sebastian Horsley was stopped at JFK on his way into our country for his book party yesterday, and sent right back home to London, as we learned last night. But! The party must go on. A Harper-Collins rep informed us the party for Horsley's Dandy in the Underworld is still on for tonight, at Housing Works. Only now, as the attached invite shows, it's a "LET SEBASTIAN IN RALLY." We think we've got just about enough book-releasing dandies, thank you very much, but hell, what's one more.