"He got wind of the big brown beaver
So he though he'd take himself a peek.
But the beaver was quick
And grabbed him by the kiwis.
Now he ain't pissed for a week."
@nirreskeya: My personal favorite is this one: "Son, no one gives a shit about all the things your cell phone does. You didn't invent it, you just bought it. Anybody can do that."
This will succeed. I can see it now, with Jerry Stiller starring as the dad. No, I literally meant I could see it now, in syndication, since this is basically George's dad in Seinfeld. #twitter
@MrInBetween: It'll be just like All in the Family. Except it will suck. After all, it automatically has to be Crap My Dad Says. It's all downhill from there. #twitter
@MrInBetween: I'm reticent to admit it, but you are probably right. The content of the Twitter feed would play truer on a cable channel. If they scrub the tweets down, it just won't be the same. Even Archie Bunker pushed the envelope saying "terlet" on network.
Also, Justin Halpern? Thanks for making me laugh my ass off repeatedly. Way to turn a negative into a good (moving home with the 'rents, that is). Congrats! #twitter
I was a guest on this show years ago. They brought me in and sat me next to Oprah during the commercial break..miked me up..I was very nervous. Oprah looked me up and down and asked...'What size are those pants?' Terrified- I replied..'they're a size 8..I wear a size 8'..Oprah gave me another once over then said...'So that's what an 8 looks like.' still so crazy to think about and such a let down..I thought she would quote Maya Angelou to me or something. #oprahwinfrey
I was an intern at a wonderful design studio back in the summer of 1989. My assignment was to choose a few typefaces for a logo the studio was designing for The Oprah Winfrey Show. The only criteria from Ms. Winfrey--the typefaces had to look tall and thin. Sigh. Some things never change. #oprahwinfrey
I saw Oprah's show once in my life. Some kidnapped child had been returned to his parents after several years. She turned to the boy and asked him outright if his kidnapper molested him. A twelve year old child, on national television, who was probably still in PTS from his ordeal. My point being: I will never understand why this women is revered and wish she would go away. #oprahwinfrey
@pony_express: Perhaps you don't revere her, but I see no reason to hate her. She's an intelligent, sophisticated, grounded woman who uses her considerable influence to do good-- to get victims to speak out, to encourage people to read and educate themselves, to motivate people to stand up for causes they believe in, etc. In a world where numb-nuts like Jon Gosselin are able to achieve celebrity status for doing absolutely nothing, I find it reassuring that we still have celebrities like Oprah out there. I think she realizes how large her fan base is and she doesn't take it for granted. She is constantly finding new ways to give back to society and help others. #oprahwinfrey
@pooks: I didn't say I "hated" her, but from what I have read about her over the years, I do think she is in fact misinformed on a number of large issues, including mental health, and likes to spread her cockamamy thoughts. If something is "Oprah approved," people will buy it, like those folks in Arizona who got killed in that sweat lodge. She also created Dr. Phil, who is not a real doctor and whose tv talk show therapy style is extremely damaging, especially for people who need real help, not 1/2 segments of help from a fake doctor. Sorry, I just don't see the intelligence and compassion you see, I see a women who has savvy marketing abilities. Yes, she likes to make grand gestures and buy people lots of things and give away lots of money; but have you ever thought that is more about getting herself love/praise than really doing pure, altruistic good? If it was just to do good, why make such a show of every gesture? #oprahwinfrey
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i can't believe i just said that... #cbs
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Shouldn't this be on Fleshbot then? #cbs
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So he though he'd take himself a peek.
But the beaver was quick
And grabbed him by the kiwis.
Now he ain't pissed for a week."
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As long as I'm posting here, I may as well link to my favorite of these: [twitter.com]
11/10/09
I bet he has an iphone. #twitter
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Also, Justin Halpern? Thanks for making me laugh my ass off repeatedly. Way to turn a negative into a good (moving home with the 'rents, that is). Congrats! #twitter
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