When Starbucks sent a cease and desist to a small Missouri brewpub demanding they change the name of a little imbibed beer called "Frappicino" lest the coffeehouse chain's customers mistake it for their own "Frappuccino," the owner had no choice but to comply.

Chef Chris Shepherd, owner of fancy-shmancy Texas eatery Underbelly, swears he'd never heard of In-N-Out Burger's world-famous Double Double before he came up with his own UB Double Double.

When retainer attorneys employed by Big Deals send out scary cease and desist letters to nobodies on behalf of their Super Important clients, it's typically a pro forma matter.

Jelly Roll, a 28-year-old white rapper from Antioch, Tennessee, has eaten at Waffle House more times than he can possibly remember. Hundreds of visits, but more likely thousands, to an inestimable percentage of America’s 1,600 Southern franchises. He orders the same meal every time, his particular variation of an…

This week, Bill Cosby was a guest on Letterman, where the 75-year-old made many jokes about being old. One Cosby admirer not watching was Kiley Kmiec, a Santa Monica resident who couldn't bring himself to witness the Coz's appearance "for fear of tossing shit at my TV."

The National Pork Board sent a cease & desist order today, claiming infringement on the phrase "the other white meat," by nerd store ThinkGeek, which uses the trademarked tagline to describe sparkle-spam gag gift "Unicorn Meat."

The New York Times and the Wall Street Journal are locked in a mortal newspaper war that will determine the future of American journalism, etc, etc. Haha, but seriously they are arguing over marketing slogans, now.

Girls Gone Wild's Joe Francis—the last man we can safely call a douchebag—sent us some half-literate legal threats after we named him Douche of the Decade. What's Joe up to now? Sending half-literate legal threats to bloggers, still.

The all-powerful National Pork Board has sicced its attorneys on make-your-own-clever-shirt site Neighborhoodies. The National Pork Board strongly disagrees with Alf's assertion that cats are "The Other White Meat."

Despite complaints from all the musicians the McCain/Palin campaign are stealing music from, the assholes just keep stealing music. They ignored cease-and-desist orders from Van Halen's management and played "Right Now" at a rally in Maine last week, and they continue to blast Heart's "Barracuda" at stump stops. That…

John McCain, Sarah Palin, and their campaigners, just won't take a hint—or a flurry of cease-and-desist orders from all the musicians whose music they keep stealing for their nauseating "maverick" campaign. Last week, Van Halen had to tell them to STFU when the campaign started using the song "Right Now" totally…