In a disconcerting trend for top-heavy actresses currently starring as fictional psychics in network primetime, Patricia Arquette and Jennifer Love Hewitt have left their significant others.

We thought every marriage had a graphically worded pact to spell out its sexual and emotional tenets, but apparently our families are in the minority with Madonna and Guy Ritchie. The authorities at The Sun today make quite a bit of the busted-up duo's "marriage contract," a list reportedly pinned around their…

Another day, another approximately 12,000 steaming new dishes laid out in the ongoing Madonna/Guy Ritchie divörgåsbord, a sumptuous schadenfreude buffet. We highlight a few, for your gustatory enjoyment:· Madonna's inner-circle (a 450-person-strong army consisting of stylists, trainers, hair & makeup people, plastic…

Ah, what a difference a divorce makes. To see Guy Ritchie's jubilant face on the occasion of his 40th birthday on September 10—just weeks after Madonna had embarked on her Men Are All Sickening, Selfish Pigs Tour—is to look into the toothy grin of freedom itself. Sure, he got perhaps one more African orphan out of the…

We Didn't Want To Believe. Despite having completed his sex-addict's rehab-training certification classes and putting on a brave, united front at aCzechoslovakian street fair, David Duchovny and longtime spouse Tea Leoni have announced their separation: "In light of continuous speculation over the lives and marriage…

A highly placed Defamer operative tells us TMZ has gotten the details of the Brian and Gigi Grazer divorce (he gets the freedom to personally pinch-test whomever he pleases, they say, she gets $1,000,042 a month)—wrong. For starters, they don't even own a home in New York. Read the details after the jump:

It's been a year and four months since we learned of the dissolution of the marriage of Hollywood superproducer (and lesser-known rising sign) Brian Grazer to his screenwriter/author ex-wife, Gigi Levangie. And while the split was by all reports amicable—never once resulting in Grazer turning to his Cultural Attaché…

So, yes, buttery-voiced leadflipper Morgan Freeman is recovering from injuries sustained in a terrible car accident, in which he and a female passenger who wasn't his wife— 48-year-old Demaris Meyer—were lucky to emerge alive. There were whispers, of course, about the nature of their relationship—rumors not likely…

Trophy Case: Four-time Suspenders Aficionado magazine coverboy Larry King is on the offensive after rumors surfaced that he will leave his current wife, Shawn Southwick, after she finishes a stint in rehab. "His PR spokesman told AOL Television exclusively that those stories are not true; King tells us, 'I love…

We realize it's challenging to keep up with this whole A-Rod/ Madonna/ affair/ divorce/ something-about-Lenny Kravitz business, a convoluted celebrity love-polygon which we wouldn't be the least bit surprised to learn also involved Gary Coleman, Eliot Spitzer, and a Coors Light Twin. Still, you wouldn't want to be…

A grieving flack has emerged from Drew Barrymore and Justin Long's Shiva-House of Love, mascara smeared, lapel torn, and offering a somber, "I can confirm the split but have no other comment," before adding, "And if you'd like to come in to pay your respects and have a nice piece of kugel, you're more than welcome."…

But what of little David Banda? For whatever reasons, that was our first reaction to rumors that the marriage of conical-bra-popularizer Madonna to lad-flick director Guy Ritchie was all but over. Well, when we actually stop to think about it, we can figure out the reasons: Lourdes and Rocco are half Ciccone—meaning…

There really is no pleasant way to spin a story in which one the great American comedy icons is accused in a court filing of chronic infidelity and physical abuse (save your comments—Charlie Sheen is far from an American comedy icon), so we'll leave it to The Smoking Gun to fill you in on the ugly details of the…

Oh, what's to be done with Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen. They may bicker incessantly and claim they can't stand the sight of one another, but deep down, you just know they're hoping the other contracts feline AIDS. With her E! reality series set to premiere on Memorial Day, Richards has been hitting the talk show…

Let there be no mistaking it—the National Enquirer owns the story of the disintegration of Jodie Foster's 14-year lesbian relationship to her beautiful Cydney. Now, their unprecedented access to the high-ranking Donettes of the Rubyfruit Mafia gives us another shocking exclusive: Foster has parked her U-Haul outside…

As we touched upon briefly on our way out the door last night, actress Anne Heche, whose ugly divorce and custody battle last year aired out all manner of crazy-scented laundry, was back in court to argue that since the cancellation of her ABC series Men In Trees (hey Heche fans: where's the nut-delivery campaign…

It's difficult enough to note the end of another seemingly rock-solid Hollywood relationship when the two parties are willing to at least admit that yes, they were involved. But how does one go about relaying the sad news that a love is no more, when the love was never outwardly acknowledged in the first place?…

After three-and-a-half years of wardrobe-sharing bliss, standing side-by-side through the good times (the Branded Wedding of the Century, brought to you by 1-800-Flowers, Smirnoff Ice, and the Portugal Tourism Board) and the bad (her Barbara Walters-issued View death warrant), ETOnline is now reporting that Star…

Between a needles-and-drugs-heavy induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and the upcoming release of a hotly buzzed new album touched by Timbahands, cooch-bearing prizefighter Madonna has had a run lately of the sort of positive, lightly controversial publicity that has defined her career from its…