Gawker: celebrity imposters

Remainders: Lohan Makes Speedy Recovery

Jessica — Tue, 06 Dec 2005 17:55:53 EST

• Oh, now we understand: Lindsay Lohan missed her appearance on Regis & Kelly because her head got eaten by Kong. Right. Thankfully, that's not so serious as to keep her off of TRL right about now. [Popsugar & OAN]
• Christopher Hitchens predicts the death of the journalist protagonist in modern fiction, suggesting that, god forbid, such characters are replaced with bloggers — a development which could really just be the death of modern fiction altogether. [Guardian]
• Fake David Cross is alive, well, and banned from a bar for being a total boozehound. [Felber Frolics]
• How to do your holiday shopping, with helpful, implicitly violent tips from the Gap. [You Can't Make It Up]
• In a piece on "suspected" firefighting sex fiend Peter Braunstein, Dateline interviews blogger Steve Huff as an "expert" on the case. Hey, if New York's Vanessa Grigoriadis counts, we suppose a blogger can, too. [B&C Beat]
• Now you can pay the very supplies AP staffers have been stealing for years. [AP Essentials]
• It's a tourist's dream: Getting wasted in Manhattan, but not lost. [NY on Tap]
• iPorn for your iPod isn't novel, but A-list Playboy porn ups the ante just a bit. But can you get it in braille? [MDN]

Could This Be the Fake Jason Lewis?

Jessica — Mon, 21 Nov 2005 07:51:34 EST

According to a reader, who we have no reason to believe this other than our longing to believe in something, anything, the happy fellow at right just might be the Fake Jason Lewis. (Refresher: Through a series of text messages, Fake Jason Lewis tricked Lindsay Lohan into thinking he was the actor of the same name, resulting in a week of misguided SMS flirting.)

Our darling source claims this picture originated from Fake Jason Lewis's company intranet site and, while we can neither confirm or deny his identity, we will say this: dude sure looks like someone who'd try to bait Lindsay Lohan and send a 1700-word email about it to all his brahs.

Earlier: The Lindsay Lohan Story

The Fake David Cross Investigation Continues

Jessica — Wed, 16 Nov 2005 09:45:12 EST

As we conduct our vigilant search for the Fake David Cross — a vile imposter who claims to be the actor so he can score free drinks and easy women — we're finding that reality is not absolute, and the truth of reality is inextricable from the reality of truth. Or something.

When this all started, we posted a picture of a possible the suspect; we later announced that said picture was of the Real David. As it turns out, that was NOT the Real David: This man is most certainly a charlatan.

Now, as readers go through their drunken photo collections, scouring for possible documentation of run-ins with Davids real or fake, we've been sent the following image:

The reader claims that this picture, taken on Halloween, depicts the Real David Cross. And we'd like more than anything than to believe it — but, if anything, this twisted manhunt has killed our ability to believe in anything anymore.

Earlier: Gawker's Coverage of the Fake David Cross

Another Day, Another Fake David Cross

Jessica — Fri, 11 Nov 2005 09:06:38 EST

We're continuing our search for the Fake David Cross, a downtown charlatan known to dupe less-than-intelligent folks into thinking he's the Arrested Development actor so as to score free drinks and easy women. We had a possible suspect yesterday but, as it turns out, he's just one of the owners of Beauty Bar, meaning that Fake David is still at large. Someone has suggested that this man (sorry, dude, whoever you are) might be the guilty party, but considering his MySpace profile says he's in Philly, we're not buying it.

Being pointed to yet another suspect forces us to realize the problem with finding Fake David: The David Cross "look" is achieved by simply being bald, sporting sideburns, and wearing horn-rimmed glasses. And that look is embraced by, say, 40% of the population below 14th Street. So, really, everyone is a Fake David.

Earlier: Gawker's Coverage of the Fake David Cross

Could This Be the Fake David Cross?

Jessica — Thu, 10 Nov 2005 13:15:33 EST

When we're not too preoccupied with our manhunt for alleged rapist Peter Braunstein, rest assured that we're devoting our remaining energy to uncovering the wicked doppelganger to Arrested Development actor David Cross, who uses his genetic fortune to woo ladies back to his evil boudoir. The fellow at right, according to The Apiary, was recently seen accepting free drinks from patrons of Down the Hatch, all of whom believed he was David Cross. Don't be fooled by the tattoo: While the imposter does bear ink on the proper arm, it's certainly not of a "miling pig standing upright and serving you his own ribs straight from his open chest." This man is most certainly NOT our fair David.

(NB: The picture we posted last week of a reader with Cross was, in fact, the real David Cross. To our knowledge, there is only one Fake David terrorizing lower Manhattan. Which is more than enough.)

The Most Disturbing Twist Yet in the David Cross Imposter Scandal [The Apiary]
Earlier: Gawker's Coverage of the Fake David Cross

Further Clarification on Real David Cross vs. Fake David Cross

Jessica — Mon, 07 Nov 2005 10:25:25 EST

On Friday, a reader sent a picture of himself with David Cross, the actor and comedian who has lately been the victim of an imposter, a depraved doppelganger who reportedly cruises lower Manhattan claiming to be the Arrested Development actor in an effort to get laid.

"I think I hung out with the fake David Cross!" the reader cried, clearly heartbroken by the possibility of being duped. We contacted David for further clarification. He writes:

I'm in LA right now and have been since last Wednesday.

That WAS me that those two girls met on Houston and took to LIT for a few drinks, that did happen. [Ed: This is in regards to a Gawker Stalker sighting, which we were concerned was actually that of David's evil twin.]

I came back [to LA] last Wednesday to this sad, weird little sublet filled with spiders, that I am temporarily staying in until the show inevitably gets cancelled.

So, anyone in NY who has been saying they're me (that's not me) starting from last Wednesday on, is lying.

david

Earlier: Know Your Real David Cross From Your Fake David Cross

Know Your Real David Cross From Your Fake David Cross

Jessica — Thu, 03 Nov 2005 17:12:08 EST

Yesterday, we mentioned that a fake David Cross was running around Manhattan, impersonating the Arrested Development actor and comedian so as to nail some chicks (in fact, we think our most recent Gawker Stalker sighting may, in fact, have been a sighting of Fake David). Cross, rightfully disturbed and disgusted by this hipster-charlatan, writes us:

Hi,

David Cross here. So, about this Imposter guy running around trying to get free drinks and get laid by saying he's me - There is a simple way to identify him/me. And first of all how fucking creepy is this? What a double douchebag! As well as possibly a potentially dangerous person. Anyway, up until last friday night I was in a 3 and a half year long relationship with my girlfriend whom I was very much in love with [Ed: Whoa — talk about burying the lede!] and wouldn't have gone home with anybody much less taken them back to "my place" (I just got dumped, so ironically I am now single and this guy is really encroaching on me).

Full imposter-detecting instructions from Cross after the jump.

But here's how you can instantly tell whether or not it's me - ask to see my tattoo. It's on my right arm/shoulder and it's an intricate depiction of a Max Fleisher-esque smiling pig standing upright and serving you his own ribs straight from his open chest (because let's be honest, I love bar-b-que). There is a pool of blood and entrails by his feet and in a bit of pure tattoo genius, the pig has his own tattoo of the Kosher "k" in a yellow star on his shoulder. If this guy won't show that to you or he doesn't have that tattoo, call him on his shit and humiliate him in front of everybody.

This whole thing really pisses me off and I am truly very sorry if anything untoward or worse, unfunny, was done in my name. I will try to make it up to you if I can (hint, hint ladies). Sorry, that last thing was a crude and tasteless example of something this guy might say. As the guy on Hill Street Blues used to say before everyone went off on that day's assignments; "Let's be careful out there".

Thanks for your time,
David Cross (the real one with the tattoo)