Gawker: Celebrity-industrial complex

All The Best Gossip Comes From Divorces

Richard — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 13:42:00 EDT

Sure drug binges and booze-soaked car accidents are sort of interesting, but when else but during a divorce do you hear the really deliciously sordid details about a celebrity or their beleaguered spouse. Today we learn of former model Christie Brinkley and her sleazebucket husband Peter Cook. Various nasty accusations have been made as they've muddled through the separation ordeal, but today's is so far the most fun. It seems that Mr. Cook posted nude photos of himself online while trolling for young ladies on swingers websites. Terrific! Perfectly debauched and embarrassing. If that's not enough for you, after the jump we'll take a look at a few other recent juicy bits of gossip that slopped out of messy celebrity divorces.

David Gest and Liza Minnelli
Liza (with a Z), daughter of be-drugged and bewigged actress Judy Garland, has married many men. But most exciting of all was David Gest, a curiously ovoid producer who was dogged by gay rumors throughout their short marriage. When the union inevitably crumbled Gest claimed that Liza had been viciously beating him—sometimes hurling vodka bottles at him—and that she was the "strongest woman I've ever met." He later claimed to have suffered head trauma at her hands. (Though she did not give him herpes.)

Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards
A classic Hollywood love story. Two sort-of actors meet, marry, have babies and then promptly decided to try to kill each other. Denise waved Charlie's notorious love of hookers in his face, while Charlie called her "a pig. A sad, jobless pig who is sad and talentless and, um, oh yeah, sad and jobless and evil and a bad mom, so go fuck yourself, sad, jobless pig." A pig! Just like Alec Baldwin's daughter!

Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger
The two actors have had a blow-out of a divorce and custody battle over the past six years, during which it was learned that Basinger had nervous disorders that prevented her from leaving the house for six months and that Basinger had accused Baldwin of being abusive. During all this their poor daughter Ireland got tossed around, being called an "ungrateful pig" by her father and given candy bars with hidden codes in them by her mother.

Tricia Walsh Smith and Phillip Smith
The infamous YouTube Divorcée, Tricia took to the internet when her theatre mogul husband Phillip decided to end their marriage. She felt she wasn't being given her fair share of sweet, sweet money so she went viral in the hopes of shaming him into acquiescing. During the process she revealed old Phillip's penchant for Viagra and pornography, going so far as to call his office, on camera, and ask his secretary what she should do with the illicit items.

Paparazzi To Rumble With Surfers In Malibu

Ryan Tate — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 06:13:45 EDT

Remember the big paparazzi beat-down by surfers in Malibu this past weekend? Well, there's now supposed to be a big Saturday rumble between the two groups, who have been trading taunts in the comments of pap-run news site X17.com. The original clash pitted a mob of entitled white Malibu denizens against the rough-and-tumble paps, some of whom are ex-gang members and many of whom are immigrants, some illegal. The new fight promises even more fun ethnic tension under the sun:

"I will Karate Chop anybody and everybody that looks like Eurotrash," wrote one surfer. " And to you Brazilian roid boy - I am going to punch you in the vagina."

And from a pap, via the Daily News:

"I've made $94K a year and I'm only four months into it ... because stupid white trash people like your fat mother buy the magazines. We hunt the very people you worship for no reason."

So basically, as the Daily News noted, the brawl is shaping up to look like something out of West Side Story.

Who to root for? Even if they were the victims in this case, the paps can be pretty brutal and unlawful themselves. And those who show up to inflict physical battery on their opponents lose the right to wrap themselves in the legal protection of the First Amendment. The surfers, on the other hand, are the thugs who made this thing physical in the first place, and they have the nerve to be self-righteous about it.

Hopefully it won't matter, because every paparazzo will want to be the one trying to slyly hang back and capture preciou$$$ footage of the big fight, while the surfers will realize they can't, in an evenly-numbered match, lick a bunch of nasty paps as though they were tasty waves, and besides they'll likely be caught on camera if they do.

Anyway, if it does happen, I want to get the play-by-play recap ONLY from this guy.

[Daily News]

Girl-On-Girl Singer's Shameful Christian Past

Ryan Tate — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 23:46:22 EDT

Katy Perry has a big dance hit with her pseudo-lesbian-curious song "I Kissed A Girl." The singer has been clawing for a break since at least 2001, and it turns out that before discovering the celebrity-making power of girl-on-girl tongue this year, and even before trying to win fame via her "really big boobs" in 2004, Perry pitched herself as a Christian singer. Her debut album was released under her prior recording name, Katy Hudson, and included gospel songs like "Faith Won't Fail" and "Last Call," the latter featuring the phone number for the church where her father was a pastor. UPDATE: Here's what Perry, still in her holy music phase, told Alison Rosen of Seventeen magazine about premarital sex:

Katy has a steady boyfriend, but she doesn't believe in sex before marriage. "I know what it does to people," she says. "One night my boyfriend and I went a little too far and I felt like I'd fallen so far away from God. I doubted myself and my strength. I was so weak at the time in my relationship with Christ."

If someone is going to have sex, however, Katy absolutely believes that person should use a condom: "Some Christians think that if you use a condom, it's premeditated. So nobody uses a condom at all and they have sex and get pregnant the first time."

That's a far cry from lyrics like, "I got so brave, drink in hand / Lost my discretion... I kissed a girl and I liked it... I kissed a girl just to try it."

Devout Christian music fans are now trying to figure out how Perry fell off the path of earnest righteousness, or if she was ever on it. But the preacher's daughter who once said "if people buy the record, that’s all the credibility I need" has probably just been looking for a winning angle of any sort and, after keeping her faith in the power of sex, has finally found it.

Below, the video for "I Kissed A Girl," in which Perry slinks around in lingerie with other women.

[Radosh]

Three Simple Ways to Ruin Your Life

Pareene — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 11:17:29 EDT

Rex Sorgatz arrived in New York six scant months ago, but he's already got it all figured out. After an advanced anthropological study of Internet Microfame, he's published his initial findings in New York Magazine. In explaining the concept, he also instructs the reader on how to become microfamous in three easy steps! "To persevere in the new age of celebrity, you need to return to the well, repeating these steps of creating, oversharing, and responding." Soon you too can dog-sit for Julia Allison. We are all Tay Zonday, Emily Brill, and the Tron Guy now. [NYM]

Julia Allison Out At Star

Ryan Tate — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 08:27:30 EDT

It's another sad breakup for Julia Allison. The fameball's sweetheart, six-figure gig as editor-at-large for Star magazine has come to a close, the Post's Keith Kelly is reporting. A few months after a fling with AM New York, the self-promoting young dating columnist was hired one year ago by Star under the tenure of American Media editorial director Bonnie Fuller. Her work for the tabloid consisted not of writing, but of showing up on cable news shows to talk about, say, the Texas polygamists ("I was sitting there seriously disturbed"), or about singer Britney Spears' love life ("the guy is a user, a loser and a mooch"). With Fuller gone, save for her own editor-at-large gig, Allison's yearlong contract was allowed to expire. Star isn't talking publicly about exactly why that is.

But it's worth noting, in addition to Fuller's departure, that Allison has made a point in recent months of refraining from posting racy pictures of herself to her blog, or from oversharing about her romantic entanglements — the very antics that helped bring her to the Star's attention in the first place. Her popularity, on this site at least, has taken a hit. It's entirely possible that Star did not feel it was getting its money's worth.

With her Star "job" gone, how will Allison pay her rent? Or buy more artistic renderings of herself to hang on the walls? Surely not from her Time Out New York column. She'll just have to make money the old fashioned way: through reality television.

[Post]

Webzone Canal + - Julia Allison + The Hills
by ClaudeMann

'Atlantic's' Britney Cover Actually Noble Charitable Gesture

Pareene — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 10:42:32 EDT

When ancient and respected old magazine The Atlantic put Britney Spears on their cover for an utterly so-so story on the celebrity-industrial complex or whatever (it was OK but Rolling Stone's piece was better), everyone (i.e. us) mocked them for selling out and claimed it was a cynical ploy at boosting newsstand sales or something. Well. Mea culpa! Because if it was a cynical ploy at boosting newsstand sales, it failed miserably. "The magazine sold approximately 24,000 copies at the newsstand, some 21,000 less than March and nearly 30,000 less than its January/February issue." According to Atlantic Media president Justin Smith (the man who destroyed The Atlantic), they meant to do that.

"The irony is, we were doing this at our own peril, because most of our newsstand executives and circulation executives were saying ‘Don't put Britney on the cover! It's going to bomb on the newsstand!' So we put Britney on the cover despite some of our newsstand advisors."

Of course, when Rolling Stone did it, their website traffic doubled. But you know, The Atlantic is not exactly available by the register at the A&P so yeah maybe Smith is not even lying and they knew it would tank. Still, it was basically the only reason we talked about the magazine since we made fun of their web rebranding so hey, good on you guys. [Folio]

Elzabeth Hurley Still Not Enraging Denis Leary's Wife

Ryan Tate — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 04:18:00 EDT

Yesterday, Daily News columnists Rush & Molloy speculated that maybe, just maybe, the novel from the wife of comedian Denis Leary (above, right) is autobiographical, since it's about a wife whose famous husband is good friends with a hot Australian movie star, sort of like how Leary is friends with hot English actress Elizabeth Hurley (above, left). In the novel, the actor's wife is upset by his "schoolboy crush" on the friend. We wrote that Ann Leary had "sadly channeled her frustrations into a thinly-veiled 'novel.'" But she replies that Gawker is "crazy," and told Choire Sicha of the LA Times that we're just clawing for cheap attention. Well, that last part is true. But at least we can admit it!

While Ann Leary may not be genuinely upset at Hurley, it's impossible to believe she didn't see the PR value of writing a novel so seemingly parallel to her own life. And, as Sicha's story shows, she has not been shy about exploiting the opportunities that have arisen from the book: appearances on The View, Today and, if she chooses to accept, entertainment magazine Extra.

And Leary is clearly PR savvy. She wove a subplot into her novel about planting false rumors on the Web:

[Leary] wasn't angry about [the Gawker item], she said — in fact, she was validated.

You see, in her book, the angry wife sends in cruel and fake sightings of her cheating husband to none other than Gawker. "I think it's too bad that they're so desperately looking for this kind of thing," she said. "But it actually fits with the plot of my novel — how easy it is to place a rumor online and then to have it spin out of control."

Wait, so someone intentionally placed the false rumor about the Ann Leary/Elizabeth Hurley feud? Who would that be, exactly?

Noting, perhaps, that the chief beneficiary of any gossip column buzz around Leary's novel would be Leary and her publisher, Sicha asked if they didn't plant the Daily News item. Heavens, no, the publisher said.

But they didn't have to. Anyone with a passing familiarity with the life of Denis Leary could pluck it right from the pages of the novel on his own. Setting things up that way was (perhaps incidentally) smart — the book gets buzz, cheap or not, and the hands of Leary and her publisher remain clean. It's a fine, if not particularly original, publicity strategy, and it's probably a mistake — don't I know it — to mistake it for vengeful axe grinding.

[LA Times]

Paparazzo Purposely Got Run Over By Spears, Say LA Authorities

Ryan Tate — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 22:10:50 EDT

Britney Spears is at all times, in public at least, surrounded by a gang of ex-con illegal-immigrant paparazzi with no regard for traffic laws, so it's probably no surprise that the Los Angeles district attorney's office now says one of the paps intentionally got himself run over, presumably so he could sue the singer. The unidentified photographer asked county prosecutors to investigate an incident in which, he claims, Spears ran over his foot with her SUV. He wanted her brought up on charges. The DA looked into it — Spears had a parking lot hit-and-run incident once — and found that, actually, if the collision happened at all, it was the photographer's fault:

After reviewing police records and a videotape of the incident last year, Deputy District Attorney Joseph D. Shidler wrote Friday that the "only way the victim's foot could have been where the video indicates it to be was by the victim placing it in that location."

Apparently the video showed enough to place blame on the pap but did not actually show the alleged run-over. It did show a lot of "noise and confusion" surrounding the vehicle, which was going "extremely slow."

Note to paparazzi: If you've been run over by Britney Spears' car, and there's not a single video or photo definitively proving it, it didn't happen, period. No one is going to believe that not a single cameraman in that desperate hive managed to get a shot of your foot being crushed.

[AP]

Why Is Shia LaBeouf So Terribly Over-Hyped?

Richard — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 14:00:00 EDT

Why are we getting constantly LaBeouf'd? Shia LaBeouf, that actor who plays the same snarky, zippy prick in every movie, is everywhere these days, gracing two Vanity Fair covers in as many years and now looking gray and smoky for GQ's June issue. Plus he's getting plum roles in big rock 'em sock 'em movies like Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of What the Hell Is Going On and Transformers. He's got the lead in a fall thriller, Eagle Eye, and Entertainment Weekly has just named him one of the 15 members of Hollywood's "Next A-List." Ugh. What's going on? Isn't he bland and uninteresting at best and a smartass punk at worst? Why is he getting this big push, all of these ringing endorsements?

Mostly, we suspect, because he's there and he's easy. He's modestly attractive and moderately talented, and has been employed in comedy (the TV series Even Stevens, the regrettably-titled tween flick Holes), drama (A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints), and action thrillers (Disturbia, Transformers) with significant box office success. Really though, those successes, we suspect, had less to do with him and more with whatever was around him (like, you know, giant magic alien robots). There are other young actors who, in our opinion (and, it would seem, in critics') the industry should be heralding, but inexplicably aren't. Where are the covers for Joseph Gordon-Levitt, so beguiling in films like Brick and The Lookout? Or what of the puckishly handsome Emile Hirsch (Into the Wild)? One could argue that they have already had, or will soon get, their own chance to stake a claim at mega stardom (Gordon-Levitt will star in the upcoming G.I. Joe bombast, Hirsch starred in this spring's much-beleaguered Speed Racer), but still their combined buzz is easily dwarfed by LaBeoufamania. And it feels frustratingly deliberate.

Obviously magazines like to spot that Next Big Thing, so they can point a finger later and say "see? seeeeee?" And they don't want to take too many chances that they'll be wrong (paging Gretchen Mol). To that end, LaBeouf is just the perfect kind of non-threatening, amusingly talented youngun that they can get behind. He's got a smart mouth, but can seem kind and sensitive too. He has convenience store freakouts, but charmingly apologizes for them months later. By comparison, thoughtful actors like Gordon-Levitt and Hirsch probably seem too dark and brooding. (And LaBeouf knows it: "the Goslings of the world are incredible to watch, but they make character pieces," he says in GQ). Those guys will be the next Penns, the Day-Lewises, cluck some magazines. Meanwhile, Shia is "talked about as the next Tom Hanks," according to Vanity Fair. Oh perfect! Tom Hanks! An actor who chirped and mugged his way through his rocket rise to fame in the 80's and only became really interesting when he started to, you know, act. (Some might argue with us there. Yes Big and Splash were great, but look at some of the lesser stuff. It's the same shtick over and over again.) That film god Steven Spielberg, a longtime friend of Hanks', has backed The Beef certainly doesn't hurt the juggernaut.

Trouble is, we just don't see it. Hanks just had that something, more organically, without nearly as much effort, that LaBeouf, who is all packaged slickness and market-tested suavity, doesn't. More importantly, why rabidly try to define someone so early in their career? The media machine that's selling us Shia is probably doing more to eventually damn his career than building the next American idol. His Indiana Jones role was clearly tailored deliberately to his wise-cracking, broad appeal (he's funny for the guys, comfortably cute for the girls!) It felt like an advertisement for some abstract, irritating product. And we're pretty damn sick of it.

What do you think? Is he way over-hyped or the next big time muckity muck?

Tabloid Spies In Hospitals

Ryan Tate — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 06:58:59 EDT

"The recordings, made by former Globe managing editor Jim Mitteager, capture him talking with his reporters and sources about stars who allegedly have undergone cosmetic surgery and abortions, as well as been treated for mental illness, bulimia and AIDS." [Daily News]

Tabloid Editors Insane From Brangelina Pressure

Ryan Tate — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 02:51:36 EDT

The birth of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's twins is, for celebrity tabloid editors and producers, like a presidential election night, the Superbowl and a moon landing all rolled into one, and the incredible pressure is destroying them one at a time. Bonnie Fuller was an early victim, losing all grip on reality at the end of March, when the magazine she then ran, Star, described a New Orleans wedding between the power couple that never took place. Then, earlier this month, Entertainment Tonight reported that Jolie had given birth to the twins in France, a story that was swiftly denied by reps for the couple and that is raising questions about the show's standards (apparently it was like the New Yorker of celebrity journalism). Now, Fuller's replacement at Star is also messing up the Brangelina story, cropping a month-old photo to make it look like Jolie "collapsed" in the south of France:

By the time the Jolie/Pitt babies actually do come out, it will take several days' worth of false reports of conjoinment, miscarriage, deformities, gender surprises, name changes and physical abductions before anyone knows any of the actual (and crucial!) details about the twins. Which, come to think of it, sounds a lot like election night TV news coverage, except with higher ratings. Can't wait!

[Cover Awards via Radar]

Angelina Jolie's Secret $15 Million Birth?

Ryan Tate — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 05:13:38 EDT

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's unborn twins are worshiped by the entertainment press as a sort of double celebrity messiah. Bidding for exclusive first pictures has reportedly reached $15 million and is poised to rise further. So it was with no small measure of elation Friday that Entertainment Tonight delivered news that the twins had just been born in the south of France, a big scoop. But People and Us Weekly soon reported denials from reps for the couple. Brad Pitt attended a Grand Prix event across the border in Italy, which would be an odd decision for a new father. The celebrified Associated Press, which obtained a denial from Pitt's manager, asked, "Was Entertainment Tonight punk'd?" Maybe not. Maybe it is the victim of a MASSIVE ANGELINA JOLIE CONSPIRACY.

The conspiracy goes like this: Entertainment Tonight ran its story past a personal assistant to Jolie and Pitt named Holly Goline, who used to work at CNN with one of its producers. The assistant "said she was there for the deliveries and everyone was doing well," according to AP, which reviewed the emails.

Jolie's attorneys said the emails came from a Goline imposter. But an anonymous Entertainment Tonight executive told the AP they had an email address for Goline dating back to Goline's time at CNN, where the executive worked with her.

If the emails are geniune, why would Jolie's people pretend they were fake? Said the AP:

Millions of dollars could be at stake. After Shiloh was born, Pitt and Jolie were at the forefront of a growing movement by celebrities to auction off exclusive rights to first public pictures of their babies (Pitt and Jolie donated the money to charity). Sometimes exclusive details on the birth come with these rights.

So the possibilities are:

Brangelina twins actually born; lawyers covering it up to comply with a lucrative exclusive news/photos contract.
Entertainment Tonight emailed an address that used to belong to Goline (say, on a service like Hotmail or blackberry.net) but now belongs to someone else, who decided to have a bit of fun with the show.
Entertainment Tonight emailed the right person, but misinterpreted Goline's statement that "she was there for the deliveries and everyone was doing well" (AP's summary) to mean a birth had occurred, when in fact everyone was waiting for the deliveries but they never occurred due to a false alarm or somesuch.

Entertainment Tonight has pulled its story but refuses to issue a retraction. "We are waiting to see how this story plays out," the show's executive producer told AP.

It's good to see the American news media finally investing in some rigorous reporting and internecine fact-checking, and on a story so vital to the national interest.

[AP]

Coke Bust To Bump Sales For Tatum O'Neal Publisher

Ryan Tate — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 20:34:16 EDT

HarperCollins hopes the whiff of scandal will push sales of Tatum O'Neal's memoir higher, based on the line (OK I'll stop now) the publisher is selling in a new press release touting the three-year-old book. The oh-so-tasteful bit of flackery leads with the "BREAKING NEWS" of O'Neal's arrest Sunday night for attempting to buy cocaine near her Lower East Side apartment, and concludes with a not-entirely-freshened-up bio: "... this talented, spirited young woman has endured and triumphed over everything from childhood neglect and spousal abuse and heroin addiction, only to suffer a recent heartbreaking relapse from hard won sobriety... Tatum's life story is the ultimate victory-in-the-end tale." Tatum's life can be a victory in the end, especially if you buy her paperback, which via the magic of royalties will literally provide the fallen actress with microseconds of legal services, drug rehab or cocaine ecstasy. Full press release after the jump.

Vicious Infighting Over Sex And The City Embarrassment

Ryan Tate — Thu, 29 May 2008 08:01:49 EDT

At last, the buzz over the Sex And The City movie premiere is being deflated. It got so bad earlier this week that even the Times was reduced to hyping the official PR line about the opening in a cutesy video while failing to note the hundreds of unwitting publicity slaves turned away with tickets in their hands. But now the backlash stories are coming in waves, tearing down some small edifice of the celebrity-industrial complex before our very eyes. We've learned that many tourists in line paid "hundreds of dollars" for their worthless passes. It emerged that one of the stars made have shown up high on cocaine. The woman with the bum $19,000 ticket was lied to worse than anyone thought. Even the food sucked! There's talk of the show being way past its prime (you don't say!). And now movie producer New Line has been reduced to public bickering with Radio City Music Hall over who is at fault for the whole Tuesday night fiasco:

"The movie studio gave out way more promotional tickets than could fit in the orchestra," said one insider. "Radio City managers told the New Line people, 'You can solve this by opening up the mezzanines, which have 2,700 more seats - but they wouldn't do it."

However, a New Line source countered, "It was Radio City Music Hall making that decision. They took control of the fan line. They turned the fans away."

People get upset about Sex And The City selling vacuous lies — about New York, about relationships, about sex, about life — but now the enterprise has gone and done something that really will, for once, help hundreds of its most fervent fans start behaving more independently.

[Post]

How "Gossip" Is Planted

Ryan Tate — Wed, 28 May 2008 02:15:07 EDT

It's no secret that the gossip business tends to be driven by self-promotion, grudges, favor-trading and image-polishing. But the press release after the jump is enough to make one yearn for the vicious, but still very human, world depicted by Burt Lancaster and Tony Curtis in Sweet Smell of Success. The release is headlined "Gossip item, Press advisor, Gossip item, Press advisory, Press" and claims that reality TV star Kim Kardashian was recently "saved from stampede of 13 year olds" at a hotel. It's hard to say what ulterior motive is behind this "gossip" — touting the demographics of the show, perhaps, or deflecting attention from something juicier — but one would hope the likes of Page Six and Us Weekly would at least make celebrity publicists go through the motions of pretending their gossip isn't manufactured. Check the papers tomorrow to find out if they do.

LA-NYC TGW Media
Gossip item, Press advisor, Gossip item, Press advisory, Press
Contact [redacted] Jerry Baker

Socialite Kim Kardashian is saved from stampede of 13 year olds before Hamptons club appearance.

Socialite Kim Kardashian leaving the 5 star Garden City Hotel on Long Island to head to her appearance at Whitehouse nightclub in the Hamptons was in the lobby of the hotel and was spotted by a hundreds of 13 year olds from a Bar Mitzvah party that just ended. The young fans started to chase after her and boyfriend Reggie Bush. NYC Nightclub owner John Englebert aka JE of Suzie Wong saki lounge and Prime nightclub saw the stampede and reacted quickly by escorting her through a side door. JE met Kim at a Playboy mansion party about a year ago in Los Angeles. Although Kim wanted to stay she would have missed her appearance. TJ Scott a representative for the club that booked Kim was staying at the hotel and said Not even Kim's man NFL Star Reggie Bush could have saved her. However Kim did miss her early morning AM flight due to a night of partying in the Hamptons.

LA-NYC TGW Media
Gossip item, Press advisor, Gossip item, Press advisory, Press

Crack Addicts And Jailbirds Needed For Criminal American Idol

Ryan Tate — Fri, 23 May 2008 07:34:04 EDT

Also-ran music channel Fuse is looking for some aspiring musicians, for a reality show, but it definitely isn't interested in your squeaky-clean, David Archuleta-from-American Idol types. According to a flyer (left) spotted last night in SoHo by an email tipster, Fuse wants someone who is interested in being the next — WINK WINK — Amy Winehouse. A "wild party girl." Someone who can handle being filmed smoking something mysterious (ahem) and then being questioned by police in connection with said film. Or, alternatively, the channel is open to landing a more serious type who models herself after a certain female rapper who was incarcerated for a year in connection with a shooting involving two associates. Whatever, either way is fine, as long as you are female. But, either way, hurry! Interviews began yesterday. Email and phone contacts are after the jump for those who "live the rock & roll lifestyle:"

Beyoncé Tarting Up Young Girls Too

Ryan Tate — Fri, 09 May 2008 04:06:03 EDT

Singer Beyoncé's fashion collection, House of Deréon, is pushing a new kids line, for which it created the ad pictured at left. The reviews are rolling in, and they go a little something like this: "I don’t know about you, but the words 'fuck me pumps' and 'pre-schoolers' do not need to go together in the same sentence." Taking racy pictures of underaged girls seems to be the fashion of the moment. Beyoncé is just staying on the cutting edge! But at least Miley Cyrus had a track record of sexual photos before her controversial Vanity Fair shoot; these girls are, what, five or six? And, more importantly, however will Annie Leibovitz take edgy pictures of them when they reach the next break in the celebrity pipeline if they've already been dressing like this for ten years? Larger photo of the ad after the jump.

[Pop Gumbo via Oh No They Didn't]

(Photo via Oh No They Didn't)

Us Weekly Contributor Bill Clinton Ordered To Cut Gross Policy Stuff

Ryan Tate — Thu, 08 May 2008 06:42:39 EDT

"Some of the most celebrity-centric, entertainment-obsessed news media outlets have added a heavy dose of political news to their lineups, taking space normally devoted to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie ... The gossip-magazine editors appear to hold the cards most of the time. When President Bill Clinton submitted an essay for publication in Us, it did not pass muster with [Us editor Janice] Min. 'It was the magazine equivalent of watching C-Span,' she recalled, a slight shudder in her voice. 'I was a little mortified to do it, but we kicked it back to the president for a revise.'" [Times]

Heath Ledger Dolls Selling Like Mad

Ryan Tate — Tue, 06 May 2008 06:59:04 EDT

So not only has Mattel released the world's most awkward figurine, depicting Heath Ledger's Joker in the forthcoming Batman sequel, The Dark Knight, but the creepy action figures are actually selling. Really, really well. Reports the Post: "Toy peddlers are laughing all the way to the bank with Heath Ledger's Joker doll selling out at New York stores. Droves of people lined up early at the Toys 'R' Us store in Times Square... 'There are none left in the warehouse, either.'" The $10 dolls are being re-sold on eBay. Get one for $55 with a Batman figurine! Put it in your morbid Heath Ledger apartment! [Post] (Joker image via Post)

Pimping Tina Fey's Heart Part Of NBC Exec's Awful Vision Of The Future

Ryan Tate — Fri, 02 May 2008 07:12:51 EDT

Ben Silverman is NBC's wunderkind programming chief, close friend to the daughter of News Corp. chief Rupert Murdoch and, based on a keynote interview he just gave at an industry event, an even bigger corporate whore than fictional network exec Jack Donaghy on NBC's 30 Rock. Silverman outlined plans to leave viewers of some new shows, including Kath and Kim, hanging at close of the broadcast, forced to log on to NBC's website to see how the program ends. The plan would screw viewers even more severely than the time Silverman scheduled the explicit MILF Island episode of 30 Rock during the heart of his new "family night." But, fine, whatever, as a network executive Silverman is pretty much contractually obligated to come up with awful ideas that will never go anywhere. But why did Silverman have to drag Tina Fey into his keynote disaster, and claim she revels in 30 Rock's marketing deals?

When asked about the reputation he has developed in his short time on the job as an entertainment chief who works closely with marketers, he said that’s due to the new generation of showrunners who are “friends” of advertisers.

That includes Tim Kring and Tina Fey, who head up popular NBC shows Heroes and 30 Rock, respectively, Mr. Silverman said.

“Tina Fey loves American Express. They have been inside 30 Rock, in the show. They have supported her through the Tribeca Film Festival,” he said. “Tim Kring enjoys his relationships with Nissan. He felt Nissan helped empower the growth of that show.”

It's not that anyone would really mind if Tina Fey was "friends" with her sponsors and "loved" them. 30 Rock itself has poked fun at the idea of artistic integrity in the world of TV comedy. And the excellent show has to pay the bills if it is going to survive.

It's just that Silverman statements about Fey and her sponsors are so clearly and aggressively exaggerated. Snarky Tina Fey super excited and pumped to "sacrifice some dignity" to support her show, as one commenter put it? Really? Sure she works with sponsors, but that doesn't mean she is thrilled about it.

Even if that were, somehow, true, Ben Silverman would be far wiser to keep it quiet, running, as it does, sharply counter to Fey's bankable image as something of an arch social commentator, at least as far as comic writers go.

[TV Week via TV Decoder]

Scarlett Johansson Being Stalked By Everyone

Ryan Tate — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 22:58:10 EDT

What's with the Scarlett Johansson sightings tonight? Her every movement is being tracked, apparently. Some kind of event for her Tom Waits cover album at Bowery Ballroom, maybe? Two recent stalkings after the jump. UPDATE: Make that three.

Scarlett Johansson - 450 W.15th St - I got into the elevator with ScarJo, but couldn't tell if it was her at first since she had sunglasses on. She got off on floor 2. When I left the building 15 minutes later, she got in the elevator again on the way down. This time, I heard her talk - it was 100% her signature voice. Looked normal and cute, but shorter than I would have imagined. She had darrrrk roots showing through her platinum blonde hair. Jogged to an SVU waiting outside, definitely in a hurry.

ScarJo at bowery ballroom taking in jessie baylins set. Standing to
the side, hair up and under a hat. No makeup, naturally gorgeous.
Oblivious to the all the stares.

Scarlett Johansson at Bowery Ballroom - She was there this evening with a few friends watching singer Jessie Baylin's set. She's really quite striking, and more petite than I expected (and clearly not shy about standing right up front). She seemed very relaxed and looked like she was really enjoying herself.

Hills Star Settles For B-List Presidential Event

Ryan Tate — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 05:45:26 EDT

Last week The Hills star Heidi Montag turned down an invitation to sit at MSNBC.com's table at the White House Correspondent's Dinner, reportedly because boyfriend/manager Spencer Pratt said the event, which includes top journalists and is attended by the president, wasn't "A-Listy enough." MSNBC awkwardly denied, then admitted that it had invited Montag. Well, it turns out Montag and Pratt condescended to come to the dinner (the picture at left was taken there), invited by the shameless celebrity panderers at Fortune magazine, according to Page Six:

...they managed to snag a last-minute seat at Fortune magazine's table.

And, of course, the fame-hungry duo from MTV's The Hills spent the night snaking their way through the DC after-parties. They hit the Bloomberg LP soirée at the embassy of Costa Rica, which was such a disaster, half the invitees couldn't get in.

Fortune? Bloomberg LP? Wait, neither of you is talking to Rupert Murdoch's Fox Business or Wall Street Journal, right? Please tell me I'm right.

[Page Six]

Jennifer Lopez Wants More Money. I Mean Children. I Mean Children Money.

Richard — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 14:56:00 EDT

Just in time for her reality show about having kids, Jennifer Lopez (known as JLo to people from 2003) wants to have more kids. The fading entertainer and her Peruvian shrunken head ~~boyfriend~~ husband Marc Anthony recently mashed genitals and produced twins, and her efforts to raise them while also coping with her big butt will be documented in an upcoming (self-financed!) TLC reality show. But two is not enough, what in this bizarro world where the simple act of procreating is worthy of adulating praise and millions of dollars. We've gotten to the point where I, if I wanted to adopt a child (which I don't), would have to show up at the agency, wearing a top hat and monocle, and introduce myself as H.S. Moneybags in order to have a chance at forking over thousands of dollars to get my grubby gay hands on a baby. Whereas Ms. Lopez and her celebrity friends have turned baby making and having and inevitably fucking up beyond all recognition into a little cottage industry of magazines and television shows and lord knows what else (as complained about on the Huffingon Post). Can it be Children of Men soon, please?

TMZ's Cheesy, Innuendo-Laden Headlines

Ryan Tate — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 07:47:49 EDT

In addition to making fun of your mother's death and mocking people for supposedly aging prematurely, Harvey Levin's TMZ loves to write oh-so-clever sex-pun headlines. The one pictured ran with a story about Britney Spears being ordered to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars in lawyer's fees. There are some more, just from the past couple of days, after the jump. Reading them well help you develop the vital skill of applying a dick joke to virtually any situation.

Clinton, Obama, Edwards On Colbert

Ryan Tate — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 06:33:52 EDT

If you want to be president these days, it's not enough to have an appealing platform, strong public speaking skills or even to look polished on television. You also have to prove you're at least slightly cool. Blame Bill Clinton for blowing the saxophone on Arsenio Hall in 1992. It's a measure of how important this yardstick has become that both Democratic presidential candidates showed up on Colbert Report last night, plus third-place John Edwards, who has been out of the race for months. Hillary Clinton was funny in a skit in which she fixes a video screen, even if she didn't find the breakthrough moment her husband did in 1992. Barack Obama was a bit more aloof, perhaps strategically so; he not only appeared via satellite but also hewed much closer to his campaign personality than Clinton. Edwards was by yards the funniest, probably because he has the least to lose. Evaluate would-be leaders of the free world on their ability to crack comedy-show jokes after the jump, where you'll find video of Clinton, Obama and Edwards on Colbert.

[Comedy Central]

In Prison, Reading Vogue And Harper's Bazaar Kind Of Makes You Everyone's Bitch

Ryan Tate — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 04:22:48 EDT

Derek Khan is living the high life now in Dubai, having put his past as a jewelry-pinching celebrity stylist behind him. He has recaptured some of his past glory, now appearing as a "commentator and makeover specialist" on satellite TV and in magazines like OK! Middle East. But in between Khan's come-up and his comeback, between 2003 and 2005, he did time at Rikers Island and two upstate prisons. None of his famous clients visited him in jail, so Khan kept tabs on them by reading fashion magazines. You can guess how that went over in the clink:

Mr. Khan continued to follow their careers in the pages of Vogue and Harper’s Bazaar, and his reading selections — along with the awareness of his formerly pampered lifestyle — made him a target of other prisoners and also guards.

“I was given the worst things to do, like scrubbing the toilets,” he said, “even though I was capable of helping G.E.D. students.”

Khan was deported to Trinidad at the end of his stint, with $10 to his name. An old friend eventually ran into him and ended up giving him $20,000 to get to Dubai. Now he "has been accepted into the society of wealthy expatriates and Saudi royalty" and is even designing his own jewelry line.

Dubai, Khan told the Times, is "a new Australia." Paging Margaret Seltzer...

[Times]

TMZ Will Even Make Fun of Your Mother's Death

Richard — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:16:00 EDT

Yesterday the staff at TMZ, Harvey Levin's AOL Time Warner-owned gossip site, tossed themselves over a line that I don't think even Perez Hilton would dare approach. They made fun of someone's dead mother. In a piece posted yesterday afternoon they wrote: "The mother of 'American Idol' contestant Elliott Yamin died last night in Richmond, Va. She was 65.   Claudette Yamin had been hospitalized over the weekend... Yamin finished in 3rd place in 2006 on 'Idol,' behind Katharine McPhee and Taylor Hicks — who, like Mrs. Yamin, will never be heard from again." Commenters were upset in their usual thoughtful, Socratic way and TMZ eventually acknowledged the thoughtless remarks toward the end of the day. Mind you I say "acknowledged," not "apologized for."

Instead of simply saying "that was dumb, we're sorry," they ran another post that included a poll. If 51% of readers said the line should go, they'd pull it. Almost 100,000 people voted and a resounding 78% wanted it gone. So, they got rid of the offending bit and continued on their merry way. Without ever issuing a measly apology. The woman died two days ago for chrissake. I'm all for an off-color joke, but a little human decency never hurt anyone. [Tabloid Baby]

You know what's funny about TMZ? No, I'm... uh, I'm actually asking. The site is so screechy and repugnant that I always have to click away before I can remember to look for anything remotely amusing. The way they eagerly roll around in pop shit and gleefully smear it everywhere, because it's so campy and naughty, reminds me of the dumb queens from high school and their haggish friends who would shriek and think they were hysterical because they said "cum dumpster." I can find nothing entertaining or redeeming in any of the site's content. It's all just base and poorly written and arbitrarily amoral. I'm just as complicit in the whole awful celebrity-industrial complex as they are, but good god let's try to have a little style while we ruin people's lives, eh? Shut this thing down, please. Oh, and the wretched TV show too. There is no reason to see and hear Harvey Levin and his army of smug little shits every goddamn day.

Why Harvey Weinstein Thinks He Owns New York Media

Ryan Tate — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 02:14:20 EDT

After yesterday's story about a New York magazine critic apologizing to Harvey Weinstein, and the critic's suspect assertion that his apology was independent of the sharp-elbowed former Miramax chief, we heard from a well-placed media veteran who said Weinstein has long loved to brag about his ability to extract such concessions, and in fact about how he effectively owns New York media. It turns out the bragging is not entirely without reason. Said the tipster: "Name any media outlet and there is a 'best friend/recent connection that I [Weinstein] can call to kill stories/get a retraction' from." It didn't take a lot of digging to figure out what the source meant. A quick rundown of Weinstein's top-of-the-masthead connections:

Graydon Carter, Vanity Fair: Carter's clashes with Weinstein were detailed in Ken Auletta's 2002 profile of the movie mogul in the New Yorker, for which Carter supplied some unflattering quotes. But the two made up: Weinstein and his Miramax Books advanced $1 million for a hardcover history of Carter's Spy Magazine, published in 2006 (the party photo at left, featuring Weinstein and Carter, was taken at a launch event for the book). When Weinstein wed fashion designer Georgina Chapman, Carter attended. The rehearsal dinner was held at Carter's restaurant, Waverly Inn.

Rupert Murdoch, News Corp.: Not only did he attend Weinstein's December wedding with wife Wendi Deng, but his four-year old daughter served as flower girl, according to Murdoch's Fox News.

Anna Wintour, Vogue: Met with Weinstein and his then-girlfriend Chapman about possible Vogue coverage of Chapman's fashion line. The gossip, as relayed by Page Six, was that Weinstein insinuated he could provide celebrities for cover shots in exchange for Vogue coverage of Chapman's fashion line. The line appeared several times in the magazine, and a Vogue rep confirmed to Page Six that a meeting occurred and that Wintour provided advice to Weinstein's aspiring fashionista, but said no deal was struck. Wintour also attended Weinstein's wedding.

Mort Zuckerman, Daily News, US News: Joined with Weinstein and others to bid on New York magazine in 2003. Also in the syndicate were financiers Jeffrey Epstein and Nelson Peltz, among others. Zuckerman also attended Weinstein's wedding.

For a fuller sense of Weinstein's connections, check out copious coverage of the guest list at his December wedding, which in addition to Murdoch, Wintour and Zuckerman drew network chiefs Les Moonves and Jeff Zucker and Saturday Night Live producer Lorne Michaels.

The mogul also makes his power felt further down the media food chain, where he can wow reporters with Hollywood glitz. David Carr said in the opening of a 2001 New York profile of Weinstein that the celebrities surrounding the mogul made Carr feel like "I'm in — kind of, temporarily, a member of the downtown tribe of Miramax."

At Fortune, Tim Arango opened a June 2007 Weinstein profile by recreating his trip with the mogul down the French Riviera in the back of "a midnight-blue Peugot." The pair drove past movie fans in Cannes, France, apparently on their way to a movie screening.

Arango went on to detail less glamorous — and less flattering — anecdotes, starting with how Weinstein's investors had just stepped up their oversight of his new company and were worried about management misfires. Weinstein's media influence, whatever he imagines it to be, has its limits.

This Is How We Market Apartments Now

Ryan Tate — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 01:53:32 EDT

Prewar building. Stainless-steel appliances. All-night pharmacy around the corner. Service staff have Mary-Kate Olsen's phone number memorized. Get all the details on this apartment, which all but reeks of celebrity death, in the glorious Craigslist ad after the jump.

[Craigslist]

Johnny Depp Condom Ad Competition Begins

Ryan Tate — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 22:21:11 EDT

It didn't take long for freelance ad designers (cough) to rise to the occasion after news leaked today that movie star Johnny Depp would think hard about helping to pump out advertisements for Trojan's "Magnum" line of plus-sized condoms. Predictably, the first batch of would-be ads are based on the actor's work in the Pirates of the Caribbean series, but there are probably some disturbing posters to be made from Sweeney Todd or Charlie in the Chocolate Factory stills, as well. (Click the thumb for a larger version of the ad parody.) [Fug]

Inside Julia Allison's Apartment

Ryan Tate — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 19:35:45 EDT

The best part of the video attached to the previously-mentioned Julia Allison story in the Times is when the Star editor-at-large gets ready for a date inside her apartment. Check out the wall decorations: Julia changes in front of a Warhol-style painting of... Julia Allison. Four Julia Allisons to be precise. Then, in front of a mirror in the hallway, you can spy yet another piece of Julia Allison-themed artwork behind her as she flips her hair (also seen here). But, hey, I'd be pretty into myself too if I was pulling down six figures for showing up in front of television cameras, as is the case with Allison, according to the Times:

Her basic income, which she says is in the six figures, comes largely from her job as an editor-at-large for the gossip tabloid The Star, for which her prime activity is not editing or writing but appearing as an expert on celebrities on cable television shows.

Runner-up for best moment: when Allison talks about her "pink-encased loaded weapon," a reference to her, uh, laptop.

Reality Television Plague Now Involves Real Virus

Ryan Tate — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 22:43:45 EDT

A British reality TV crew has been accused of spreading a virus (other than reality television) while meeting with isolated tribes in Peru. The crew visited native populations far upriver even though an American anthropologist and the government warned them not to. Now four are dead and others seriously ill in a flu epidemic Indian rights activists are blaming on the TV scouts. Reality TV company Cicada Films, responsible for documentaries like "Ancient Plastic Surgery" and "Fat Fiancées," insists it behaved responsibly and did not spread any disease. (The company is believed to have been scouting for "Mark And Olly," pictured.) The American anthropologist is not so sure:

The US anthropologist, Dr Glenn Shepard, who met the film team on location, said he urged them not to make the "risky and distant" trip to the Cumerjali settlements, where isolated people were vulnerable to western illnesses.

In a written statement he said the film-makers complained that reality TV demanded that the groups filmed were not westernised. "Reality TV has caused production companies and TV channels to seek ever more dangerous, remote, extreme and exotic locales and communities."

In other words, the industrialized world has become so thoroughly saturated with reality television than no one has a sufficiently "real," original personality anymore. Reality television is becoming a big meta clusterfuck.

So the reality TV companies are having to go deep into the wilderness in search of the last people not spoiled by the celebrity-industrial complex, and in the process turned themselves into not just a metaphorical but also a literal plague onto the world.

That actually would make for a wicked reality television show. Hopefully they got everything on tape!

Guardian: British reality TV crew accused as flu kills four in isolated Peruvian tribe

Perez Hilton Last Hope For Sad Economy

Ryan Tate — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 06:05:20 EDT

Did you know that Perez Hilton is "the gay Latino Oprah?" Or that he totally launched the singer Amy Winehouse? It's true because it's on television! Financial news network CNBC has discovered Perez and decided he is an increasingly important part of the dysfunctional American economy, so we all continue to be doomed. After the jump, gay Latino Oprah explains his appeal in a report that will be seen by powerful businessmen everywhere and probably trigger the next financial panic.

Paparazzo Beaten By Competitors Over Britney Shots, He Says

Ryan Tate — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 20:55:41 EDT

Celebrity picture agency X17 has been running in respectable media circles lately. In the past month it has been the subject of a cover story in the Atlantic and a profile in Radar. Its client list now includes names like CNN. But X17's history, which includes allegations of hiring ex gang members and undocumented immigrants, is coming back to haunt the agency. Paparazzo Alison Silva, pictured, said he was badly beaten by three photographers working for X17 while parked a block from singer Britney Spears' house. "You should not be here. Only X17 gets these shots," he was allegedly told prior to sustaining "blunt head trauma" and a broken nose and being rushed to the emergency room. Three witnesses called 911, the LA police investigated and, according to MTV News, the alleged assailants are expected to be taken into custody Monday. X17 responded by not bothering to deny anything:

Reached for comment by MTV News, X17 co-owners Francois and Brandy Navarre initially declined comment because they have not been served with the suit, but when asked about the police matter, they said that the photographers are not employees, but freelancers, and therefore are not under contract. "I don't think the suit against us will hold up," Brandy said. "They give me their pictures but whatever they do on their own is their own business," Francois said.

Respectable news outlets like CNN and ABC, plus the usual assortment of celebrity media like Us Weekly, keep X17 supplied with licensing money. (All are clients, according to the Atlantic.) That's less likely to continue if the clients think they are bankrolling a gang.

MTV: Paparazzo Sues X17 Agency After Alleged Assault While Covering Britney Spears