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New York, 2:07 PM
Sun Nov 29
12 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #cellulite more →

    New York Times Investigation Reveals The Ass You'll Never Have

    This Week In Tabloids: You Know Things Are Bad When The Cellulite Issue Hits Stands

    Was Mischa Barton's '80-Year-Old' Cellulite Faked By Paparazzo?
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of AuntieFreeze AuntieFreeze
    06/25/09

    In reply to New York Times Investigation Reveals The Ass You'll Never Have
    Yeah - just take some advice from that sex classic, "The Sensuous Woman": meet him at the door when he comes home, wearing nothing but Saran Wrap. Great advice, no? My theory is that the reflective quality of the material masked all the cellulite, while it showcased the nudity underneath, or something like that. Crazy stuff!
     Reply
    AuntieFreeze was starred AuntieFreeze was unstarred
    Image of Mama Penguino Mama Penguino
    06/25/09

    @AuntieFreeze: OMG, I had forgotten all about that one! For some reason, that reminds me of the silver "sweat" suit my mom bought that was supposed to "sweat" all the fat off her body. She also had that record, "Go, You Chicken Fat, Go!"
     Reply
    Mama Penguino was starred Mama Penguino was unstarred
    Image of nellicat nellicat
    06/25/09

    @AuntieFreeze: I thought that was from the anti-feminist, woman-as-submissive "The Total Woman" by Morgan whatsherface. No?
     Reply
    nellicat was starred nellicat was unstarred
    Image of nellicat nellicat
    06/25/09

    @Mama Penguino: OMG! The chicken fat record! We had to do that in gym class in the 70s!!!!!
     Reply
    nellicat was starred nellicat was unstarred
    Image of Mama Penguino Mama Penguino
    06/25/09

    In reply to New York Times Investigation Reveals The Ass You'll Never Have
    Well, according to The Sensuous Woman, if YOU think you're all that and act accordingly, you BECOME what you think you are. Truer words were never spoken.
     Reply
    Mama Penguino was starred Mama Penguino was unstarred
    Image of Unsolicited Advice Unsolicited Advice
    06/25/09

    In reply to New York Times Investigation Reveals The Ass You'll Never Have
    Here's a photoshopped standard, and a list of reasons you'll never reach it. That will be one dollar and fifty cents!
     Reply
    Unsolicited Advice was starred Unsolicited Advice was unstarred
    Image of HiredGoons HiredGoons
    06/25/09

    @Unsolicited Advice: Only the liberal NY Times would publish such smut!
     Reply
    HiredGoons was starred HiredGoons was unstarred
    Image of Mama Penguino Mama Penguino
    06/25/09

    In reply to New York Times Investigation Reveals The Ass You'll Never Have
    Stereotyping alert! Mr. P is a gorgeous, tall hunk of blonde white man who appreciates curves, but in my salad days, I noticed a definite preference for the round, dimply and jiggly by certain men of certain colors. Brown men who have fondled my squeezeable parts, I remember you fondly!
     Reply
    Mama Penguino was starred Mama Penguino was unstarred
    Image of kneetoe kneetoe
    06/25/09

    @Mama Penguino: You and your Jiggle-oes!
     Reply
    kneetoe was starred kneetoe was unstarred
    Image of Mama Penguino Mama Penguino
    06/25/09

    @kneetoe: Snort! Truth to tell, one of them had been a gigolo when he was younger and as a result, he only liked plain vanilla sex so as not to be reminded of paying women in his past. He was handsome, with a head of black cury hair, and the most sincere way about him. Sigh.
     Reply
    Mama Penguino was starred Mama Penguino was unstarred
    Image of kneetoe kneetoe
    06/25/09

    @Mama Penguino: Don't dwell on the past (too long--a little dwelling is healthy), go get yourself another one.
     Reply
    kneetoe was starred kneetoe was unstarred
    Image of Mama Penguino Mama Penguino
    06/25/09

    @kneetoe: While it was fun rolling around on a mattress in a cold-water flat in my early twenties, it holds little appeal to me now. Besides I have my sweet little penguin family and no roll in the hay is worth losing that! The Jiggle-oes will have to carry on with me.
     Reply
    Mama Penguino was starred Mama Penguino was unstarred
    Image of Mama Penguino Mama Penguino
    06/25/09

    @Mama Penguino: Um, I meant WITHOUT me. *whistles*
     Reply
    Mama Penguino was starred Mama Penguino was unstarred
    Image of BadUncle BadUncle
    06/25/09

    In reply to New York Times Investigation Reveals The Ass You'll Never Have
    "Cellulite?" I thought it was called marbling.
     Reply
    BadUncle was starred BadUncle was unstarred
    Image of HiredGoons HiredGoons
    06/25/09

    In reply to New York Times Investigation Reveals The Ass You'll Never Have
    Mine has a crack in it :(
     Reply
    HiredGoons was starred HiredGoons was unstarred
    Image of charliebrowns charliebrowns
    06/25/09

    In reply to New York Times Investigation Reveals The Ass You'll Never Have
    I am happy not to have that flat butt, not much of a loss.
     Reply
    charliebrowns was starred charliebrowns was unstarred
    Image of charliebrowns charliebrowns
    06/25/09

    @charliebrowns: Jane Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda.
     Reply
    charliebrowns was starred charliebrowns was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    06/25/09

    @charliebrowns: Come on, love, you need more compassion for the ass-free women of America. Not everyone can be as blessed as we are.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of Mymoustache Mymoustache
    06/25/09

    In reply to New York Times Investigation Reveals The Ass You'll Never Have
    Women are so gullible - now if you'll excuse, I have to go apply my cock enhancement cream...
     Reply
    Mymoustache was starred Mymoustache was unstarred
    Image of naugahydeinplainsight naugahydeinplainsight
    06/25/09

    @Mymoustache: The page does set an interesting precedent for whenever the Times takes on the "male enhancement" industry.
     Reply
    naugahydeinplainsight was starred naugahydeinplainsight was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    06/25/09

    In reply to New York Times Investigation Reveals The Ass You'll Never Have
    The only cure for cellulite is pink lightbulbs. Or keeping your partner/s so crazy in love with you that they don't even notice. And the key to that is not giving a fuck about it yourself.


    As the great man sang: Free your mind and your ass will follow.

     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of City_Dater City_Dater
    06/25/09

    @BookishLookish:


    I believe it was Cynthia Heimel who said, "if he doesn't like it, fuck him. Chances are, then he'll like it just fine."

     Reply
    City_Dater was starred City_Dater was unstarred
    Image of BadUncle BadUncle
    06/25/09

    @BookishLookish: By contrast, the only cure for junkies shooting up in LES bars used to be installing blue light bulbs in the men's room. And thus it's junkies I blame for peeing on my shoes for much of the early 90s.
     Reply
    BadUncle was starred BadUncle was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    06/25/09

    @City_Dater: Sex Tips for Girls was my bible in the '80s!
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of NinaHagen NinaHagen
    06/25/09

    @BookishLookish: Yes! Remeber the lighting in the original Russian Tea Room? Brilliant!


    A tan helps with cellulite too.

     Reply
    NinaHagen was starred NinaHagen was unstarred
    Image of City_Dater City_Dater
    06/25/09

    @BookishLookish:


    Me too!

     Reply
    City_Dater was starred City_Dater was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    06/25/09

    @NinaHagen: Nina, wait, you were rocking hot pants at the old Tea Room? You are badass!
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
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