<![CDATA[Gawker: change]]> http://tags.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/gawker.com.png <![CDATA[Gawker: change]]> http://gawker.com/tag/change http://gawker.com/tag/change <![CDATA[The New Yorker Embraces Modern Technology]]> "Jorge Colombo drew this week's cover using Brushes, an application for the iPhone, while standing for an hour outside Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum in Times Square." [New Yorker]

Brushes has a companion app called Brushes Viewer that records the creation of a drawing from start to finish, and we've posted the video of Colombo creating his cover art below.

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<![CDATA[The End of Television as We Know It]]> The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.This week, not without controversy, the television industry held its "upfronts," the annual circlejerk of advertisers, TV executives and media that everyone talks about, even though it's rare that anything newsworthy happens. But what wasn't discussed this week is that television as we know it is dying, and here's why.

For decades now, the networks and production studios have held a creative stranglehold over the industry. If you were a writer with a brilliant idea for a new show, you had to go through "the system" if you held any hope for your idea to see the light of day and come to fruition as an actual television show. "The system" meaning everything so frustrating and wrong and cliched with modern day Hollywood—-An endless clusterfuck of pitch meetings to tone-deaf underlings, countless script re-writes birthed from asinine notes from dunderhead executives ("I see on page 16 you have Sally eating a peanut...shouldn't she be eating a cashew instead?!") who'd never written a thing in their lives but love handing out business cards to aspiring starlets with the word "Producer" under their names, a dizzying array of focus groups and trend research studies so the higher-ups can get their fingers on the "pulse" of the modern viewer and force the creator to change accordingly, and everybody and their wife and cousin has got a fucking opinion to the point where the whole thing gets utterly mutilated. Someone could have the most brilliant idea and these people will more often than not find new and innovative ways to destroy it, all in the hopes of making it more appealing to Harriet and Clarence McAverage in Des Moines, Iowa.

From the creative end, developing a television show these days is sort of like giving birth to a daughter, your work, a daughter that you raise and nurture with tremendous care, and then one day you bring her, beautiful, statuesque, perfect in your eyes, to the church to walk her down the aisle, where a dashing groom, the American television viewership, is waiting to embrace her on the other end of the aisle. But just before the organist plays that "Here Comes the Bride" song so she can begin her walk down the aisle, out pops a herd of groomsmen, television executives, who proceed to throw your daughter down and violently gang-bang her in the back of the church, and by the time they're done with her she's bloody, beaten, and battered, almost completely unrecognizable to you, the person who raised her. Both of her eyes are swollen completely shut, one of her legs is broken, she can barely function at all, and then the very groomsmen, the television executives, who just finished violently raping her turn to you and say, "Okay, now make her walk down the aisle," and you, the person who conceived her, nurtured her and cared for her for all those years, has to walk with her as she hopelessly flounders her way down, and all the while you're hoping beyond hope that she a) makes it all the way down before completely collapsing and b) that her groom, the American television viewer, isn't so freaked out by her when he sees how hideous she now looks that he turns and bolts out of the church.

But all of that is changing.

You see, with the internet, yes the internet, creators of serialized content can circumvent "the system" and produce their shows independently, in much the same way that filmmakers began began circumventing the studio system to develop films a few years back—-They raise money on their own, shoot the film they want to shoot, and then turn around and showcase at film festivals where, if the moon and the stars align just right, they're able to sell their film and it goes on to become a huge success. This model birthed some of the more smart, intelligent and important films of the modern era, shot from scripts that may have never seen the light of day otherwise in the traditional system, because they were "too edgy" or some horseshit like that. The problem, for years, with doing this with television was that content creators didn't have a way to showcase their product, they couldn't take it into a screening room and expect prospective buyers of content to sit there and spend hours watching a full season of television to see if it was worth a shit or not, but with the internet they now do. More and more Americans are watching more and more video online for longer and longer periods of time, so it stands to reason that sooner or later, someone is going to raise their own money, shoot their own full length show (half hour to an hour long) without network interference, put it on the internet, and it will become a cultural phenomenon, something that people, average people and not just early adopters, talk about around the proverbial water cooler at work. In fact, it's probably on the verge of happening right now. And then a network will swoop in and buy the show to bring it to those still not watching television on the internet, and other shows will be developed online and other networks will swoop in and buy them too, but eventually everyone will watch episodic shows online and there won't be a need for the traditional networks any longer. Hell, right now, Microsoft and Apple are both developing programs that will capture all of the video you want to watch by recording it live as it goes up onto the web and saving it for the user to view later, just like a DVR or TiVo, except for your computer and handheld electronic devices. These sort of software programs currently being developed aggregate video content from all over the web so the user can watch everything in one place instead of surfing around from site to site to watch the things they want to watch.

In other words, the need for television networks to develop and air shows will evaporate. They'll still be there, it's a stretch to say they'll die off altogether, but they will never be the same. And we'll all be better off for that.

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<![CDATA[Shady Obama Barber Pushes Gray-Hair Story]]> Barack Obama's barber "Zariff" has no last name and is suddenly in all the papers explaining that the president has GENUINE gray hair after just 44 days in office. Why?

Zariff cut Obama's hair for 17 years. He still does, about every two weeks, so the president has presumably flown him out from Chicago to DC. He's not going to start giving rogue interviews without permission.

So you have to wonder why the White House wants him in the Washington Post and on the front of the New York Times tomorrow (according to Drudge) talking about Obama's old man locks.

Best guess: The hair is supposed to underline how hard Obama is working to SAVE US ALL from global economic collapse while Drug Pastor Rush Limbaugh leads the Republicans in a prayer for the president to fail.

This hair thing will spread widely throughout the media and get talked about by readers because it isn't actually directly about the depressing depression at all, it's one step removed. It's about hair, something superficial and fun that everyone understands from extensive first hand experience, unlike say debt securitization or TALF.

The benefits of this narrative will definitely outweigh the inevitable counter "news" that mysterious "Zariff" is our Muslim president's Hezbollah handler (even though that's probably true!).


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<![CDATA[Colin Powell Slams Rush Limbaugh]]> 83345939.jpgAs usual, Colin Powell is the first to say what other prominent Republicans are only thinking: The eloquent endorser of Barack Obama now warns that conservative media linchpin Rush Limbaugh is destroying the movement.

In a CNN interview to air Sunday, Powell first said the GOP should reach out to minorities (WTF??) without using "dogma" (GONE ROGUE!). Then he told Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity (implicitly) and Rush Limbaugh (directly!) to just please stop talking:

I think the party has to stop shouting at the world and at the country. I think that the party has to take a hard look at itself, and I've talked to a number of leaders in recent weeks and they understand that."
"Can we continue to listen to Rush Limbaugh? Is this really the kind of party that we want to be when these kinds of spokespersons seem to appeal to our lesser instincts rather than our better instincts?"

Honestly, the future of the Republican party is easily one of the most interesting topics in politics right now, and not just because (from the sound of things) Colin Powell is positioning himself as one of its key future leaders. The conservative movement is near the end of an epic crack-up, its fiscal conservatives alienated from Wall Street business Republicans over the bail out; social conservatives still bitter over the victory of Barack Obama and trying to hold down growing dissent within their own party over issues like gay marriage and immigration (even the hated outgoing evangelical president is against them on the latter).

Destruction like this is followed by a reformation. While the victorious Democratic Party has its key leaders more firmly in place by the day, the Republicans are searching for new blood and, through that, a new message. Party reformulations like that come maybe once every 15 years; conservatives haven't faced this sort of change since the movement solidified its core principles in the 1950s.

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<![CDATA[Barack Obama's Blago Statement: 'I Was Not Aware']]> Hey, Obama press availability time: president-elect Barry Obama is "saddened" by the actions of evil criminal governor Rod Blagojevich, but it's an "ongoing investigation," so he won't comment on it. Where have we heard that line before? Oh, right—from the Bush administration, for eight years. Now Barry will just talk about how he met Al Gore, who speaks for the trees. He is actually talking about climate change, and no one is listening. We want to hear about Tony Rezko and Rahm Emanuel and Valerie Jarrett and how they're tied up in this mess! No questions! Well, one question: "I had no contact with the governor or his office, so I was not aware of what was happening." Poor Al Gore.

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<![CDATA[A Senate Seat "Is a Fucking Valuable Thing"]]> As anyone who watched The Wire knows, when the feds tape and tape and tape someone's phone calls, they're likely to hear them saying something stupid. And in the criminal complaint against Gov. Rod Blagojevich, arrested by FBI agents this morning for allegedly sellling the appointment of President-elect Barack Obama's Senate seat, he says plenty of really stupid things. The Smoking Gun has an excerpt and it's loaded with straight-off-the-wire quotes, such as his frank assessment: a Senate appointment "is a fucking valuable thing, you just don't give it away for nothing."

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<![CDATA[Illinois Governor Arrested For Selling Obama Senate Seat]]> You want your Chicago-style politics? They don't come much more Chicago-style than this: Democratic Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich was just arrested, along with his chief of staff, by FBI agents. How many corrupt things can one Governor do before a new ethics law takes effect at the beginning of next year? Blagojevich was apparently trying to set some sort of record. And Rezko's involved! And Tribune Co! Let's start with Rod's charming decision to sell the Senate seat vacated by squeaky clean president-elect Barack Obama!

From the 76-page FBI affidavit:

At various times, in exchange for the Senate appointment, Blagojevich discussed obtaining:

A substantial salary for himself at a either a non-profit foundation or an organization affiliated with labor unions;

Placing his wife on paid corporate boards where he speculated she might garner as much as $150,000 a year;

Promises of campaign funds – including cash up front; and

A cabinet post or ambassadorship for himself.

Thankfully the feds have been wiretapping Blagojevich for a month or so. "I want to make money," Rod said to John Harris, his chief of staff.

You know who'll be thrilled to hear the news of Rod's arrest? The good people at the Chicago Tribune and the incompetent people at Tribune Co. Part of Blagojevich's brilliant money-making scheme involved withholding state aid to the ailing, now-bankrupt Tribune Co, unless they fired editorial board members critical of the governor. You know what is amazing? That after Rod talked to "Tribune Owner" and "Tribune Financial Advisor" regarding their attempt to offload the Chicago Cubs to the state, they called him back and promised to fire the deputy editoral page editor of the Tribune. Great fucking work, Sam Zell.

In a November 11 intercepted call, Harris allegedly told Blagojevich that Tribune Financial Advisor talked to Tribune Owner and Tribune Owner "got the message and is very sensitive to the issue." Harris told Blagojevich that according to Tribune Financial Advisor, there would be "certain corporate reorganizations and budget cuts coming and, reading between the lines, he's going after that section." Blagojevich allegedly responded. "Oh. That's fantastic." After further discussion, Blagojevich said, "Wow. Okay, keep our fingers crossed. You're the man. Good job, John."

In a further conversation on November 21, Harris told Blagojevich that he had singled out to Tribune Financial Advisor the Tribune's deputy editorial page editor, John McCormick, "as somebody who was the most biased and unfair." After hearing that Tribune Financial Advisor had assured Harris that the Tribune would be making changes affecting the editorial board, Blagojevich allegedly had a series of conversations with Chicago Cubs representatives regarding efforts to provide state financing for Wrigley Field.

Barack Obama, wisely, distanced himself from Blagojevich during his run for the presidency. But the wonderful thing about the Chicago political machine is that basically no one elected to anything in that town is clean. Good thing for our President-elect that he won the election before Patrick Fitzgerald made his move.

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<![CDATA[New Drug Czar Wants You to Get AIDS]]> Retired Minnesota Congressman Jim Ramstad is rumored to be Barack Obama's new "Drug Czar." The "Drug Czar" is the Director of the Office of National Drug Control Policy (the term "Drug Czar" was invented by Joe Biden!), and his or her job is to release crappy PSAs about marijuana. Here is the problem: Ramstad, a recovering alcoholic, not only opposed medical marijuana and supported prosecution of people who use medical marijuana, but he also consistently opposed funding life-saving needle exchange programs throughout his entire congressional tenure. All these policies are in opposition to crazy liberal things Barack Obama said, during the campaign, about how he'd be less terrible re. drug policy.

Here is a fun fact: The Drug Czar is forbidden, by law, from supporting legalization of any drugs, including for medicinal purposes. This is per the office's congressional mandate, so barring a rather unlikely withdrawal of congressional authorization from the office, any Drug Czar appointed by any president will be required by law to state that medicinal marijuana will make you put your baby in the microwave and decriminalization will lead to your child becoming William S. Burroughs.

So hooray for Jim Ramstad, who will hopefully have not very much to do at all in the Obama administration, especially with most of the "crime-fighting" bits of the Drug Czar's portfolio being the Justice Department's turf, not that Eric Holder is that much better.

(Full disclosure: my stepmother ran for congress against Jim Ramstad a couple years ago! She lost.)

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<![CDATA[First Gay Cabinet Member Too?]]> Our first black president might appoint our first openly gay cabinet member! Or, you know, maybe not. And the job is really one of the most toothless and sadly irrelevant in the cabinet. That's right: Secretary of Labor! As if there was even any of that "labor" stuff left, in this country. Anyways, please say hello to Mary Beth Maxwell.

Maxwell is a labor activist, a "community organizer" (CACKLE CACKLE SNORT OF DERISION), and this is a sign of her union cred: both the moderate old AFL-CIO and the splinter progressive SEIU-backed factions support her! As does Human Rights Campaign, who amusingly sent Obama a letter endorsing Maxwell a week after they sent a letter endorsing Rep. Linda Sanchez for the position.

Of course, there's no indication that Obama's Labor Department will be much of a power in the Obama administration, and also Maxwell shares the shortlist with two much more famous ladies, Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius (still the favorite) and Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm (Michigan is something of a union stronghold).

So let's not get too excited about an out lesbian getting to be in charge of the department that tells the nation how many jobs its lost each month. If it doesn't happen, you can at least be grateful that Arizona Governor and lifelong bachelorette Janet Napolitano (we're not saying! we're just saying...) will be our new Secretary of Homeland Security.

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<![CDATA[Obama Defense: Insiders Haven't Been Inside In Years!]]> People criticize President-Elect Hopey Hussein McGee for promising "change" and then appointing "people with experience in Washington." At his press conference today, he was asked about all the grizzled white dudes from Washington he keeps hiring to fix the economy. As he points out, new Economic Recovery Advisory Board head Paul Volcker hasn't been anywhere near Washington in years, and board staffer Austin Goolsbee has never been to Washington, ever. Then there is an implied joke about Austin's "fresh face" or something, which gets a chuckle from the crowd, thus fulfilling Obama's "one moment of levity per press conference" mandate. A new tone!

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<![CDATA[New 'Rolling Stone' Combines Mag's Last Two Hopes For Newstand Sales]]> Rolling Stone just alternates Barack Obama and Britney Spears covers anyway, so its a testament to Jann Wenner's genius that he's discovered he no longer has to even change the coverline. Yes She Can! Save a shrinking music/lifestyle mag and expose her toned midriff without embarrassment! (What's next, the Obamas on the cover of Us Weekly? Hah, that'll be the day!) [Idoltaor]

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<![CDATA[Obama's Next Clintonite Comes With Fun Clinton Scandal!]]> Guess who the new Attorney General will be? Eric Holder! He was an assistant AG back in—wait for it—the Clinton Administration! Yay, change! Hah, see, this is what happens when you only had an eight year vacation from your 40 years of desert wandering. Holder will help close Guantanamo Bay. Thankfully, Holder has a lot of experience freeing evil criminals, because he totally signed off on the Marc Rich pardon! Let's all take a magical trip back to that wonderful story, shall we?

Marc Rich founded Glencore, a commodities supplier that does lots of business with "rogue states" and so on, back in the wild 1970s. Rich was a fantastically wealthy commodities trader and decided one day to evade some taxes and also to do some illegal business with Iran, during the oil crisis. He bought some cheap oil, from Iran, and sold it in the US for double the price. Some of this oil dealing happened while Iran was holding a couple Americans hostage. Whoops! Then Rudy Giuliani indicted him and Marc forgot to come back to America from Switzerland and he ended up on the Most Wanted List for a while.

Some time later, Marc's lovely wife Denise donated millions of dollars to Democrats, including Hillary Clinton, and she ponied up $450k for the Clinton library. One day, as his presidency ended, Bill pardoned Marc. Denise was thrilled!

Some mean Republicans wanted to indict Bill, because honestly they'd just had a lot of fun hounding him for bullshit and were sad to see that wonderful time come to a close. But, you know, the president can pretty much pardon anyone he wants for any reason he wants. Pardoning an asshole millionaire because his socialite wife gave you money is probably more defensible than pardoning Nixon so the nation can heal or whatever.

Still, it was gross and dumb, because no one liked Marc Rich besides his wife and some Israeli charities he donated to and the King of Spain. Not even his old lawyer, noted asshole Scooter Libby, actually liked him that much, though he defended the tax evasion, which was, oddly, the thing Bill didn't pardon him for.

Anyway! Bill didn't seriously ask anyone in his Justice Department about whether or not he should pardon Marc Rich, but he did ask then-deputy AG Holder for his opinion, and Holder said he was "neutral, leaning towards favorable." So it's all his fault and he will be the worst Attorney General ever, as long as you pretend not to notice that the last three guys to do it have probably been the worst in history, or at least since Ed Meese.

The Clinton scandals were fun because no one actually got hurt or was tortured and most American cities survived more or less intact.

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<![CDATA[Clinton Pick Shows How Obama Will Piss You Off]]> Hey, let's all be disappointed! Did you hear that President-elect Barack Obama is already a huge sell-out? He's not even going to cut Joe Lieberman's nuts off! (We think it's dumb to give Lieberman subpoena power over the incoming president but whatevs, it's Barry's call.) Now, he's apparently going to let Hillary Clinton be Secretary of State. That is, if you believe The Guardian. The lefty UK paper says the Clinton selection is a done deal, though no US paper has been quite so bold. Michael Wolff thinks this is brilliant media strategy on the part of either the Obamas or the Clintons, to punish the New York Times for some unspecified crime or simply to bypass them in order to teach them a lesson about who's in charge. We, uh, aren't so sure.

Neither the Clintons or the Obamas seemed to show much favor to the foreign press during the campaigns, and no UK paper, let alone The Guardian, was handed a scoop of this magnitude over the domestic press. So why now? As Wolff points out, the Europeans love Bill Clinton much more than we do, here where he used to run things, because we had to see his shouty red face so much during the primaries. So maybe it's just wishful thinking?

But now the speculation has lasted days, without denials from anyone, so, yeah, it seems like the SecState gig is Hillary's. The trial balloons been floating out there for a while now, and no one's yet come up with a great argument against the nomination that doesn't boil down to "the Clintons are a headache."

We are probably happier with her than with, say, hilarious clown Bill Richardson or old man Richard Holbrooke, but we were kinda warming to the John Kerry idea. That guy's been in the Senate way longer, and is clearly way more sick of being there, right? He was investigating Iran-Contra when Hillary was in Arkansas doing whatever she was accused of doing in that Whitewater thing! (Remember that?) Both of them were dead wrong on Iraq, obv, but we're probably not going to sell anyone on Secretary of State Russ Feingold. At least she's smarter than Condi Rice.

Still, Clinton's rehtoric on foreign policy has always seemed more resolutely, defensively hawkish, in that "Democrats can be war-mongering badasses too" way we deplore, than that of genuine old-timey liberal John Kerry. Of course, Obama's language has been similar, so we probably shouldn't expect the doves and peaceniks to run the foreign affairs department in an Obama administration.

Which means it's disappointment season! Turns out the new politics of hope might involve some hopeless old politicians! Because, hey, the only Democrats hanging around Washington with any experience in the executive branch are old Clinton people (there might be some Carter guys, at Brookings or something, but no one talks to them). So the faces of triangulation did not melt, Raiders of the Lost Ark-style, when Obama won the nomination. It is a great excuse for us Coastal Liberal Elites to Hate America Again, for the very first time.

Just keep Mark Penn far away from 1600 Pennsylvania, Barry, for the sake of the country.

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<![CDATA[ New Obama Website America's Last Hope For Job]]> Earlier today, we were sent a link to Change.gov, the amusingly named official government website of President-elect Obama's transition team. The site is a wholesale transfer of Obama's Apple-inspired fancy millennial Brand to an official White House website, which is still jarring and a bit, uh, hard to believe. The site links to Obama's acceptance speech, a blog, and, tantalizingly, jobs. Obama administration jobs!! Everyone in America needs jobs, right now, so of course now Change.gov has crashed, and it returns only an error message when you try to visit. Breaking promises already, Senator Hopey! Click for the screenshot of the New America that was too good to be true, while you endlessly refresh the page and fine-tune your resume.

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<![CDATA[Another Victory: Voters Break Up Congressional Rock Group]]> You think this election was all fun and games and hope and first black presidents and gay marriage banning? No! No, it was not! There were real things at stake that Americans didn't even think about, lives in the balance that Americans never considered, and now they've gone and torn a family apart with their "voting." That's right, the 110th Congress's only all-member rock band has been forced to disband.

"The Second Amendments" are an actual, instrument-playing rock band made up of members of congress. They were basically a crappy wedding band, playing dad music semi-competently, but the "members of Congress" thing made the whole show a little more surreal. Now, though, they are done, forever.

Drummer Rep. Kenny Hulshof (R-Mo.) already announced he would leave Congress, and his replacement, Rep. Bill Sali (R-Idaho), was voted out of office on Tuesday.

Keyboardist Rep. Jon Porter (R-Nev.) also lost his re-election bid, and with bass player Rep. Dave Weldon (R-Fla.) retiring at the end of the session, the only Members left in the group are lead guitarist Rep. Thaddeus McCotter (R-Mich.) and vocalist Rep. Collin Peterson (D-Minn.). (New York Democratic Rep. John Hall, a member of ’70s-era pop-rock group Orleans, had hinted at joining full-time.)

It's a sad story, if you care about what losers in Congress do in their spare time. Nearly as sad as the fate that befell the old Republican vocal group "The Singing Senators" (pictured, above). That group was made up of Jim Jeffords (retired from the Senate a Republican pariah for abandoning the party), John Ashcroft (left the Senate to join the Bush Administration [after losing his seat to A DEAD MAN! -ed]), Trent Lott (left the Senate to become a lobbyist years after his pro-segregation remarks forced him to resign his position in the GOP leadership), and Larry Craig (tried to fuck an undercover cop in an airport bathroom, surprisingly the last one in this band still serving in the Senate.)

Enough of the old losers, though! What of the new DC residents? Every new presidential administration brings with it to Washington DC a veritable army of new, true believing young men and women. Aides and staffers and excited new think tank interns and political appointees and flacks and fresh-faced staffers of the new congress all flock to DC in order to remake the city in the image of whoever is in charge this time around. And every time, the peaceful transfer of power is accompanied by profound, seething hatred, by the old guard, for the new.

Bill Clinton's hillbilly freaks make their home in dive bars far, far from The Hill, and everyone in DC was embarrassed when the cowboy morons of the Bush II showed up in their hats and boots. Now the Obama kids are on the way! And here is some fantastic news for them: the Bush kids broke the country, so Virginia real estate is super cheap. And whatever outgoing Republican you're buying from will be selling at an enormous loss. Hooray!

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<![CDATA[Daily Show's First Jokes About First Black President]]> After calling Fox News Channel to task for its Barack Obama coverage, the Daily Show's Jon Stewart asked Fox host Chris Wallace if the network might need to change its stripes under the incoming Democratic administration. Actually no, Wallace said, because Obama, like all presidents, will inevitably screw up, and skeptical coverage will be rewarded. "Let me just say," Wallace added, "I worry about you. That William Ayers joke bombed. This crowd is not ready." He had a point.

It was true: vocal portions of the audience had objected to one or two of Stewart's Obama's jokes, even though the lines mocked campaign stereotypes about the politician rather than the president elect himself. (Click the video player above to watch.)

But campaign fever will break, and studio audiences will get less touchy about Obama jokes. And Stewart will be able to keep cranking out jokes for the same reason Fox News will be able to keep producing right-leaning commentary: Obama's honeymoon will end, as it does for all presidents. He will, inevitably, misstep.

The only question is whether there will be enough Obama mistakes to support everyone's ratings base. There's always Congress!

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