Just as in relationships, when a significant other's dog empties itself on your carpet, you've broken a threshold, a deed that will never be undone. And we imagine Julia Allison's cupcake-eating dog, Lilly, has shit on a lot of carpets.

This probably happened to Vimeo founder and retreated-fameball Jakob Lodwick shortly before he was ousted from the company.

We've all heard about the troubles of Facebook lately (Spam! Departures!, Gadfly speculation on the non-monetizable nature of the company!) since her and Randi Zuckerberg became besties and started smoking in the bathroom and whatnot.

This probably didn't happen to social-network-as-video-game OMGPOP founder Charles Forman, because we haven't heard anything about that company other than people pouring money into it sometime both before and after the couple broke up (Forman more or less claimed tinnitus, not dogshitting, as the breaking point).

But Tumblr founder David Karp, while never in a relationship with Allison, has, at the least, always been cozy with her. From deep inside the Tumblr headquarters, proof that this thing has reached a breaking point: The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.

Yeah: that's Allison, cleaning up Lilly's satanic curse from the floor of the Tumblr offices. Allison has referred to Lilly as a business partner; we don't doubt the dog's cunning skill in strategic shittery as a mark of both territory and omen. Open memo to David Karp and the rest of Tumblr: fumigate the place. Smudge it with sage. Rain dance the hell out of it. And Dennis Crowley of iPhone social networking app Foursquare: put that thing down NOW.

Forman broke up with ubiquitous yet pointless media presence Julia Allison last summer, right around the time he raised a round of $1.5 million. Digg founder Kevin rose also briefly dated Allison last year, and then raised a ton of money. The conclusion: Severing ties with Allison is the most sure-fire way for a tech boy to get rich! This is good news for Eater editor and fellow Allison ex Ben Leventhal, who is surely due for more funding.

(Photo by Nick McGlynn)

A refresher course on Forman: He runs Iminlikewithyou, a website which offers cheap knockoffs of popular games like Tetris. As such, he's a minor figure in Silicon Alley, New York's pathetic imitation of Silicon Valley's startup scene. Digg founder Kevin Rose invested in his company. He went out with Allison, the Time Out New York dating columnist, for a few months last year, before publicly breaking up with her at a tech event where he denounced women who wooed company founders. (Awkward, since Allison briefly courted Rose a year ago and remained obsessed with him long afterwards.) Forman hangs out with Tumblr founder David Karp and pretends to be his gay lover.

But his latest would-be conquest, to his frustration, knew nothing of this, because she doesn't read Gawker, and thereby had to be convinced she was on a date with an actual microcelebrity. Ah, the perils of being a fameball that never quite got rolling. Here's our eyewitness's tale:

I was in Williamsburg at Blackbird Parlour on Bedford sitting next to this couple having the most terrifyingly drab conversation I've ever had to endure.I was half paying attention until I heard the dude say "Gawker," then my ears perked up. I starred at my book, feigned reading and tuned in to the conversation. Turns out it was Charles Forman. He was on a date with some perky girl he had met on a e-dating site. Like any good citizen reporter trying to expose sheer douchebaggery, I started jotting notes down on my napkin. Here are some highlights. They're almost nonsensical and very scattered. But they're all backed up by my napkin notes!

CF: Yeah, you might find me on Gawker. Don't believe any of it. It's all lies ... Everybody who knows me knows what I'm doing is just to be funny ...

Girl: I'm sorry I don't know Gawker or about you. I'm sure you're accomplished, though. I always like knowing a lot about a lot of things. I'd like to learn about all this. You're cool, though! Really!

CF: Don't worry. You don't need to know it. It's completely irrelevant.

...

(on a bit about browsing some e-site for potential dates)

CF: To be honest, I don't care if a girl seems interesting. She just has to be hot.

...

CF: I'm sort of a little bit snobby.

Girl: How so?

CF: I just don't have time to meet people.I work a lot. But look (taking out his BB), this is twitter. I don't know all these people, but they want to follow me. This is my site. We got 600,000 plays today.

Girl: Oh, wow.

CF: Yeah, It's OK.

Girl: What would be like really good?

CF: My goal is one million a day

...

Girl: Are you going to make a video about me?

CF: No. (Changing the subject) I always see people I know here. It's weird I haven't seen anyone tonight.

...

Girl: So, can you come next Sunday?

CF: Let me check my schedule. Wait, I don't have my schedule on me. Actually, I don't really have a schedule. I just don't like committing to things too far in advance.

Girl: Well, if you don't come another one of my boyfriends will.

...

CF: I almost had a threesome in a restaurant bathroom once. It was filthy dirty, though, so we decided not to.

Girl: Oh my god. Wow. I don't know what to say.

Don't be too hard on Forman: This is an improvement from his earlier attempt at finding dates, detailed in a now-deleted post on his Tumblr from last week:

Karp is founder of blogging service Tumblr, where McCarthy posted the pic, lending it kind of a "stop hitting yourself!" undertone. Forman is also an internet entrepreneur, having started I'm In Like With You.

McCarthy, meanwhile, writes about the whole social media scene — including I'm In Like With You and, from time to time, Tumblr. Sometimes she even provides her own pictures, although we're starting to wonder if CNET shouldn't reconsider that sort of flexibility.

UPDATE: She's pulled the post. It was "only funny around midnight."

Charles Forman (URL) said:Oct. 13, 5:59 PM
I don't like my name being dropped this many times without a picture of my pretty face attached.

Ah yes. The alley insider is up to rousing rabble for page views from my Google Alerts? Awesome. What's this? Detective Retardo is on the case - the champion of the underdog, and the morbidly obese? Totally fucking awesome.

Did I fail to entertain you? Did I fail to show something interesting? Of
I spent 2 days preparing my presentation so everyone wouldn't be bored to death. I doubt there has been another presenter that has put as much love into their presentations as I have.

Do you not understand what we am trying to do? Of course you do. You know how difficult and truly amazing it is.

I think the real problem is that you are jealous of my ability to run a mile in under 3 days. Maybe its that I date hot girls? Honestly, I don't understand how your beef with me - or your petty, passive aggressive approach.

If you have a problem with fairness, why aren't you paying $20? You very realistically take up 2 seats.

Seriously, if you have such a problem, why don't you just do your own democratic tech meetup and watch as no one shows up?

You are a sad, lonely, disgusting man. I hope you don't die of a coronary before we have a chance to patch things up.

*Kisses*

(Photo of Forman by Charles Forman)

Kevin Rose—"an old, old man," to quote Cashmore—never planned on going to the Mashable party. "I'm all partied out," he says. People magazine readers probably wouldn't know who Rose is, but among the Internet-savvy he's Brad Pitt. Rose, who dated Julia Allison a few years ago, is remarkably low-key compared with his younger counterparts. Drinking tea out of a mug covered with skulls and crossbones, he perks up when the talk turns to rock climbing (he's in a group called Geeks Love Climbing). He says he doesn't know what the term fameballer means. He also says he doesn't do things like wedge himself into nightclubs to have his picture taken with founder fetishists.

Those would be the women who this sort of scorn is usually reserved for: Julia Allison and her heiress apparents.

The Details profile is predictably overblown, but its core message is clear: There's a new generation of men in tech who no longer feel it's enough to just launch a product people want — unless that product is themselves.

"If a blog post is like an essay and a tweet is like a haiku, then a tumblelog is like stream-of-consciousness poetry," the article begins. That's right—and boy, is it a scary idea for literacy. (But it's also such a great embarrassing content-creator for our purposes. So, don't shit where ya eat.)

"Sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic, [Iminlikewithyou's] Forman produces a steady stream of non sequiturs. "I like people in cute T-shirts who look really angry," he says. Just as he's launching into a description of founder fetishism—that is, when a woman goes only for men who have started high-tech companies, his phone rings. His girlfriend, Julia Allison, is on the line. "She has it," he mouths. Then he says into the phone, "Of course I miss you. I always miss you."

...Exhausted and slower than the night before, Forman is at the crux of the Web 2.0 star's dilemma. Sustaining fame by making sure accounts of your exploits with industry players and Internet starlets circulate in the right places is a full-time job. But so is getting a company off the ground. Karp and Forman consider the two pursuits inextricable. As fameballers, they stay busy fine-tuning and maintaining their personae. But a persona is not a person. A persona doesn't get work done. And a persona can't engage in a meaningful relationship. About a week later, Forman announces that he and Allison have split. He also says the tinnitus is gone. "I mean, it could just be a coincidence," he says.

Hee. Oh, wait, here comes Forman's ex, dating columnist Julia Allison! (Note: this convo is not with me.)

It's so cute how people think they can, like, control the outcome of a profile. That's like assuming that other people aren't going to be smart enough to cut through your carefully crafted bullshit.

Playboys of Tech [Details]

He describes himself as a "creative entrepreneur" who lives in "Midtown." He "run[s] an internet company-which is a lot of fun. When I find time on the side, I'm a media artist... I work out a lot so I'm in good physical shape." Hey-o!

So, ladies, we'll vouch for Charles. He's funny and can probably afford to buy you dinner. We met him once and he smelled nice. He's been in an Esquire fashion shoot. (Oh, and despite many photos that would hint otherwise, he is not Tumblr founder David Karp's gay lover.) Act now! (Caveat: as a commenter just pointed out—if you break up with him, he might humiliate you in public.)

According to Iminlikewithyou's Charles Forman, who's working on porting his startup's copycat games to the iPhone, there's not much in common between the platforms besides the word "app."

A Facebook app is easy. It's a Web app. The hard part is all the viral "mutherfuckery" that they do. iPhone is like writing a program. Theres a big upfront learning curve. It's a totally different ballgame. A shit developer can make some Web app. But you have to be a good developer to make an iPhone app.

Forman couldn't deliver a cogent explanation of the differences — something to do with the "real-time" nature of iPhone apps. So we asked our favorite developer with a heart of gold and a tongue of acid, former Uncov blogger and Pressflip cofounder Ted Dziuba, to elaborate. The best he could do, below.

• You're going to have to figure out how to store data without MySQL. Years of PHP development has warped your mind to think that everything must be object relational. There's no 12-step program yet, Apple will release it with the next firmware update.
• We know you like to live a life free of authority and rules, but there's one rule you're going to have to follow: Objective C syntax, and the compiler will taser your ass if you get out of line.
• Information wants to be free, right? Well, not Apple's. Especially the developer documentation: that will cost you $99. But you already own more than $8,000 worth of Apple equipment, what's another few bucks? Anyway, since I'm not forking over $100 to look at documentation, that's really as far as I can go.

Note to Forman: 111 Minna, which he says is a celebrichaun hangout, is actually in San Francisco's Financial District, just south of Market Street — not in the Mission. But thanks for the Valleywag shoutouts, Chuck!

Allison's quest for a geek boyfriend paid off in two regards. Nonsociety's design is strongly reminiscent of Iminlikewithyou, the casual-games site run by her current beau, Charles Forman, and the teaser video is hosted at Vimeo, the online-video site founded by Jakob Lodwick, Allison's ex. Too bad she didn't hook up with a boy more experienced at handling back ends.

If his casual-games venture goes well, he'll have more free time to spend squiring Allison around Manhattan. (She even sometimes gets Forman's name right when introducing him to strangers.) And every moment Allison's out and about is a moment when she's not online obsessing about Rose. Less drama, more money? Rose had better hope Forman's startup takes off.

(Photos by b_d_solis)

The boring truth is that I've known Charles for way longer than I've known David (and no, not "known" in that way!) Because of that, and since the two companies have no formal partnership, I think I'm OK. Otherwise, yeah, that would've been iffy.

Ah, no "formal partnership." Sort of like Karp and Forman!

[Silicon Alley Insider]

What would have happened had Rachel Marsden was left with more than just a few articles of clothing after those steamy days with Wikipedia founder Jimmy "Jimbo" Wales? Nothing good.

I have to admit, out of all the babies, Marissa Mayer and Zack Bogue's faux-offspring is the least horrifically ugly.

"IT Girl" Julia Allison is ostensibly dating Iminlikewithyou founder Charles Forman. But with that lack of resemblance, could Allison be covering for another lover?

Because Forman and Tumblr founder David Karp are very, very close. Looks like Allison is just the beard and Karp is the Forman baby's daddy.

His web video-game site is called Iminlikewithyou, and as Valleywag reported, he's building a "Tetris-like game."

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, we hear that Julia has been telling people that the hard drive that she recently lost contained a sex tape NO! SHE WAS JUST JOKING!

In her defense, she's been much more discreet with the not-boyfriend relationship with Forman.

Related: Journalists Stuck on a Plane
[Photo: Nick McGlynn for Random Night Out]