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Charlton Heston

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corrections

The 'NY Times' Regrets Not Knowing Charlton Heston's Real Name, Age

If you've ever been a fact-checker, you probably had beaten into you the fact that — above everything else — you must get a person's name and age right. When we were starting out, we once let "Kerri" Kennedy Cuomo slip by us and we can still count the cane lashing scars on our ass. So our buttocks started tingling in sympathy when we read the New York Times' corrections admitting that they'd screwed up Charlton Heston's birth name and age in his obituary. There were some other goofs as well. More »

1:28 PM on Thu Apr 10 2008
By noelle_hancock
3,342 views, 33 comments

Latest by n/a: "And we are told Soylent Green was just a movie plot device. Please disregard our six part series on the topic." more »

mourning

We Are All Made Of Diamonds

If having your loved one cremated and poured into a jar that sits in your house isn't enough remembrance for you, LifeGem has a better idea: take those ashes, subject them to a huge amount of force, and create a diamond to wear around. You'll always know the gem was made from, as the company puts it, a very special "carbon source"—that means your loved one! You can even get them for your pets, which are also diamond-worthy carbon sources. Once your order is delivered, we imagine, you sing a creepy little song about "the diamond within you," and cackle maniacally. Strange business. As TNR points out, this would be an apt fate for Charlton "Soylent Green" Heston. Below, some of the company's gently persuasive sales pitch, which is somehow hair-raising. There's no right way to sell this product. More »

12:36 PM on Thu Apr 10 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
2,250 views, 54 comments

Latest by Wondershowzen: I think these people have their marketing completely backwards. Having people I find mildly irritating (crazy ex's, former bosses, the list goes on and on) melted down and forged into jewellery sounds infinitely more satisfying. more »

google

A Snapshot of the American Psyche

The papers and the news shows (and next year's Oscars) are going to bore us stupid with footage of Biblical and gladiatorial chesty male sweatiness. But what do everyday folks think of when they think of Charlton Heston? Soylent Green, and "from my cold dead hands."

12:58 PM on Sun Apr 6 2008
By ian spiegelman
1,291 views, 21 comments

and now he's dead

Charlton Heston, Actor

Well, you can have his gun now. Oscar winning actor, NRA president, and all around iconic conservative slab of beefcake, Charlton Heston, died last night at his Beverly Hills home. He was 84. "His death was confirmed by a spokesman for the family, Bill Powers, who declined to discuss the cause. In August 2002, Mr. Heston announced that he had been diagnosed with neurological symptoms 'consistent with Alzheimer’s disease.'" [NYT] Olds, and The New York Times, will remember him as the star of The Ten Commandments and Ben-Hur, but for the rest of us, he will always be the man who launched a thousand spoofs. Update: "Heston was born John Charles Carter in Evanston, Illinois, on Oct. 4, 1923, though the year of his birth has been in dispute for years, with some sources saying he was born in 1924." [Bloomberg] More »

8:57 AM on Sun Apr 6 2008
By ian spiegelman
5,421 views, 86 comments

Latest by NoahTourjee: Thank You Madonna more »