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New York, 2:13 PM
Mon Nov 30
40 posts in the last 24 hours
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10/21/09
10/21/09
4 lbs test berkely trilene...
You're taking payola from a freaking fishing tackle company?
Not sure I get concerned person's reference. 4 lb. test is certainly not the strongest fishing line available, but it would be more than enough to hold down a helium balloon.
Safety, security, fear, parenting, strength of fishing line, old German brokerage... hmmm...
Maybe balloon dad should have used something like Steelon: " "A nylon leader with a heart of stainless steel."
[www.berkley-fishing.com]
Preferable to teflon leaders with no heart at all? #balloonboy
10/21/09
10/21/09
BLOOMBERG HELP DESK: Thank you for using Bloomberg HELP! We have received your question, and a live representative will be with you momentarily. Thank you for your patience.
BLOOMBERG HELP DESK: hello
BROKEN: Hey, my girlfriend doesn't orgasm when I go down on her.
BLOOMBERG HELP DESK: it's all about the clit, sir. #balloonboy
10/21/09
Asparagus-lost: HEY, how do you blanch asparagus?
BLOOMBERG HELP DESK: Drop it into simmering water for 3-4 minutes, then drain and throw said asparagus into cold water.
Asparagus-lost: Thanks! You'd make a great top chef contestant! You rule, man.
BLOOMBERG HELP DESK: I know, I tried. Why do you think I'm doing this shit?
#balloonboy
10/22/09
BROKER: HEY, my dealer hasn't called back and the day's almost over. How am I supposed to go to Balthazar tonight without 5 grams?
BLOOMBERG HELP DESK: Reach behind the second monitor, there's an emergency gram of coke in a secret compartment. We'll overnight you replenishment.
BROKER: I don't see it
BLOOMBERG HELP DESK: Have you tried the Indian guy in front of the laundromat on 40th and 9th?
BROKER: Oh yeah! Thanks!
BLOOMBERG HELP DESK: Thank you for using Bloomberg. #balloonboy
10/20/09
10/20/09
10/20/09
Tim: "I need you to unplug your device for me and power it back up." Me: "I already fucking did that before I called plus a litany of other troubleshooting measures as well. Perhaps you can infer from that what the next step is before telling me to do it all over again."
I know, over the top. Just venting a little. #balloonboy
10/21/09
15:24:38 BLOOMBERG HELP DESK: please talk to me about it
15:24:49 BLOOMBERG HELP DESK: I feel the pain.. #balloonboy
10/21/09
@UGAdawg: It's true! When I to do legal research at work I have access to a help desk. They are American, thoughtful, intelligent, lucid, helpful, and actively seek a solution to your problem. My company pays a pretty penny for the service, but once you get them on the line, you don't want to hang up, you want to ask them about your taxes and what they recommend to take out a ketchup stain.
10/20/09
10/20/09
10/20/09
10/20/09
10/20/09
#balloonboy
10/20/09
*chest pound w/ fist*
*solemn nod* #balloonboy
10/20/09
10/21/09
10/21/09
04/01/09
04/01/09
04/01/09
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: howdy
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
03/31/09
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: AWWW SHIT
Stranger: GET YOUR TOWELS READY IT'S ABOUT TO GO DOWN
Stranger: EVERYBODY IN THIS PLACE HIT THE MOTHERFUCKING DECK
You: Oooooh scat
Stranger: wh
Stranger: what
Stranger: that's not the next line
Stranger: how dare you
Stranger: i was on a roll
You: apologies. how rude of me.
You: go on.
Stranger: but stay on your-
Stranger: no
Stranger: i can't
Stranger: it's just not the same
Stranger: /weep
Stranger: brb eating my feelings
03/31/09
(Whom I adore!).
04/02/09
03/31/09
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Ok 3 convos in 1 minute
You: new record
Stranger: @@ WELCOME @@
Stranger:
Stranger:
Stranger: YOU ARE STANDING AT A CROSSROADS; THERE IS A DARK CAVE TO THE NORTH, A RIVER TO THE SOUTH, A SMALL COTTAGE WITH A THATCHED ROOF TO THE EAST AND A CLIFF FACE TO THE WEST.
Stranger:
Stranger: >
You: Are you playing WOW?
Stranger: ? I DON'T UNDERSTAND "ARE"
Stranger:
Stranger: YOU ARE STANDING AT A CROSSROADS; THERE IS A DARK CAVE TO THE NORTH, A RIVER TO THE SOUTH, A SMALL COTTAGE WITH A THATCHED ROOF TO THE EAST AND A CLIFF FACE TO THE WEST.
Stranger:
Stranger: >
You: Hi
You: I WANAN GO EAST
You: EAST DAMN IT
You: EAST
Stranger: YOU ARE FACING A SMALL COTTAGE. THE CHIMNEY PUFFS WHITE SMOKE.
You: /PUTS ON SANTA COSTUME AND JUMPS DOWN CHIMNEY
Stranger: ? I DON'T UNDERSTAND "PUTS"
Stranger: YOU ARE FACING A SMALL COTTAGE. THE CHIMNEY PUFFS WHITE SMOKE.
Stranger:
Stranger: >
You: WHAT ARE MY OPTIONS
You: OK
You: GOT IT
You: I WANT TO KNOCK ON THE DOOR
Stranger: ? I DON'T UNDERSTAND "WHAT". TRY 'INV', 'LOOK', 'EXITS'
Stranger:
Stranger: >
You: LOOK
Stranger: YOU ARE FACING A SMALL COTTAGE. THE CHIMNEY PUFFS WHITE SMOKE.
You: "LOOK"
You: 'LOOK'
You: oh
You: RIGHT
You: INV
You: INV
You: 'INV'
You: "INV"
Stranger: ==INVENTORY== 2 PIECES LINT, 1 GOLD PC., 1 HAMMER
You: WHAT
Stranger: ? I DON'T UNDERSTAND "WHAT". TRY 'INV', 'LOOK', 'EXITS'
You: WHAT
You: OH
You: EXITS
Stranger: THERE IS A DOOR IN FRONT OF YOU. TO THE WEST IS A CROSSROADS.
You: DOOR
Stranger: THE DOOR IS LOCKED.
You: USE 1 HAMMER ON DOOR
Stranger: YOU STRIKE THE DOOR WITH YOUR HAMMER. HERNIATED CRACKS APPEAR ON ITS SURFACE UNTIL YOU CAN BREAK A HOLE IN THE SURFACE.
You: WALK IN
Stranger: YOU ENTER THE THATCHED-ROOF COTTAGE. THERE IS A BURNINATED PEASANT INSIDE. YOU SPY DRAGON TRACKS ON THE FLOOR AND DETECT THE PRESENCE OF CONSUMMATE "V"S.
You: USE HAMMER ON PEASANT
Stranger: YOU HAMMER AT DEM BURNED BONES. THE BRITTLE BONES BREAK APART AND A FOUL ODOR PERMEATES THE AIR. IN THE RIB CAGE YOU SEE A MAP.
You: LOOK
Stranger: YOU ARE IN THE THATCHED-ROOF COTTAGE. THERE IS A BURNINATED HAMMERED PEASANT INSIDE. YOU SPY DRAGON TRACKS ON THE FLOOR AND DETECT THE PRESENCE OF CONSUMMATE "V'S.
Holy jesus christ, what the hell is going on.
03/31/09
03/31/09
03/31/09
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Mom?
Stranger: get to bed you little shit
Your conversational partner has disconnected.