Clinton was supposed to get married in Martha's Vineyard this summer, but that didn't happen, obviously. Maybe because she wasn't actually engaged yet to her dynastic boyfriend Marc "son of two former congress members" Mezinsky?

Jake Tapper broke the news on his blog, because that is basically how this news was destined to be broken. Chelsea and Marc sent out an email the morning after Thanksgiving, ensuring that no one would report on it until Monday:

"We're sorry for the mass email but we wanted to wish everyone a belated Happy Thanksgiving! We also wanted to share that we are engaged! We didn't get married this past summer despite the stories to the contrary, but we are looking toward next summer and hope you all will be there to celebrate with us. Happy Holidays! Chelsea & Marc."

Congrats, Chelsea. May your reception be free of aspiring reality show characters, and here's hoping Marc doesn't mind the title "First Dude."

While surely the implications of this news are big in the Kennedy context — could it be the family is relinquishing its hand on America's political system? — it also opens the door for a new generation of political dynasties. But, sadly, the prospects are dim.

The most obvious choice would be the Bush's, a family that has produced two presidents and Jeb. Since Barbara's basically a persona non-grata and Jenna's working for Today, the family's brightest star could be George Prescott Bush, President Dubya's attorney nephew who's also a real estate honcho. That combination, plus his good looks, could make him a good candidate to maintain the family's standing as a preeminent political family.

With Bill being a former President and Hillary as Secretary of State, some are hoping Chelsea Clinton will keep the family's lawmaking legacy alive. She seems to have little interest in politics and therefore won't help build a nascent dynasty. Sad.

We're thinking that the Obama girls may be the nation's best bet for political nepotism. Yeah, the girls are still in school, but the First Family has already been compared to the Kennedy clan and their revered "Camelot." If these girls choose — or if the family pushes, as should be done in all political dynasties — Sasha and Malia Obama could carry the torch for a new American royal family.

Perhaps there's another family out there, toiling away to break into the Washington scene. We sure hope so. This country could use more nepotistic clans who ingrain themselves into our democratic system. It seems antithetical to the American dream, yes, but this nation's democratic roots are also long-addicted to the ups-and-downs of political family drama. And we all know addictions must be fed.

• Move over, revolutionary monogram artist Roger Federer, because Maria Sharapova and James Blake are designing their own labels with their respective sponsors. [Canadian Press]
  
  
• The Smithsonian added the American Idol desk to its collection but, predictably, it's tucking it away in some storage area, where people will forget the Smithsonian wasted its prestige on such a useless piece of trash. [MSNBC]
  
  
• Everyone thinks Demi Moore has had plastic surgery, and she says she hasn't, but everyone will go on believing she has. Sorry, Demi! [Daily Mail]
  
  
• Paula Abdul promises she didn't leave American Idol because of money. She left on "principle," whatever that means. She also hopes to get a talk show, which we'd actually watch. [TV Guide]
  
  
• Phil Spector is such a cry-baby! He wants to be moved from one prison because he's afraid someone will kill him. But he doesn't like his next prison because there's a fungal disease called Valley Fever and it's killed 14 people over the past four years, so he's scared and his wife's petitioning for yet another venue change. Let this be a lesson: don't kill other people. [Page Six]
  
  
• The Real Housewives of New York better make sure their lives are messy, dramatic and Bravo-worthy, for the network reportedly has two new ladies waiting should any of the regular characters prove too boring. Filming, by the way, began this week. [Page Six]
  
  
• Kate Moss flashed a tit during a magazine photo shoot. [The Sun]
  
  
• Lindsay Lohan got a tattoo of Marilyn Monroe on her arm. Oy, sometimes that girl's too much for us. [Examiner]
  
  
• Okay, Chelsea Clinton's not getting married this year, so chill the fuck out. [Page Six]

• Reality show siren Heidi Montag thinks she's ready for children. Thankfully, her husband, the weaselly Spencer Pratt, has enough common sense to hold off on reproduction. [NYDN]
  
  
• Superman: Man of Steel producer Jon Peters has been ordered to stay 100 yards away from colleague Brian Quintana after Peters allegedly threatened to break his legs during a hearing for Quintana's ongoing sexual harassment suit against Peters. And you thought your office had drama. [Page Six]
  
  
• Bethenny Frankel does not approve of her Real Housewives of New York co-star Jill Zarin's new friends: Why would Jill be hanging with Jon Gosselin and Michael Lohan?.... It is utterly embarrassing." [Gatecrasher]
  
  
• Did that 2008 plane crash play a role in DJ AM's untimely death? Addiction expert and reality star Dr. Drew Pinsky thinks the pain killers Mr. AM took after the crash led to his relapse and, ultimately, his overdose. [ET]
  
  
• Holy smokes! Victoria Beckham went to the gym without makeup! What is the world coming to? [Daily Mail]
  
  
• Libyan tyrant Moammar Khadafy will be coming to New York next month and, according to her, wanted to rent Joan Rivers' apartment for $200,000/week. Sadly, it didn't work out. [Page Six]
  
  
• Elizabeth Moss, arguably one of the best actresses around, doesn't have a "grand strategy" when picking her roles, which explains her turn in the Sarah Jessica Parker romantic comedy Did You Hear About The Morgans? [THR]
  
  
• Dancing With The Stars "star" Melissa Rycroft accidentally squirted Orlando Bloom girlfriend Miranda Kerr in the face with a perfume spritzer. We won't even go there.... [Page Six]
  
  
• Oasis brothers Liam and Noel Gallagher got into a huge tiff during a Friday concert and, apparently, the band's now broken up, because Noel thinks Liam's a "fucking moron." Fair enough. [The Sun]
  
  
• Fashion designer Tara Subkoff has bounced back after having a benign tumor removed from her brain. That's good news. [Page Six]
  
  
• Martha's Vineyard can't stop talking about Chelsea Clinton's wedding. Though the former first daughter's parents haven't said anything, everyone's convinced the nuptials could happen at any second. [Page Six]
  
  
• Madonna and boyfriend Jesus visited the Western Wall while in Israel. Hilarity ensued. (Well, not really.) [AP]

Adams was all set to misuse the noun that means "Saturday and Sunday" as a verb in Long Island's north fork with Van Susteren and Coale, but Van Susteren had to jet off at the last minute to interview Hillary Clinton in Mumbai. So as Adams and Coale were eating a lot of food for lunch—"John Coale doesn't dine lightly"—Greta called in with some hot gossip: Contrary to hot-and-heavy rumormongering, Chelsea is not getting hitched next month.

So between the Old Mill Inn's rib-eye and cheesecake...his wife rang to say: "Hillary and I are so exhausted. We're sitting at the Taj in Mumbai ordering Diet Coke and coffee — not mixing it together — just to keep awake." I was wildly thrilled with what Greta's drinking, but what I needed to know was what's Hillary saying. Two text messages and cellphone calls later came: "Hillary says Chelsea is not marrying Marc, no matter what's been reported."

That's news! It was also news when Van Susteren wrote it on her blog two days ago, but nobody reads that.

We still expect Chelsea to get married on Martha's Vineyard next month. Just because you didn't get invited, doesn't mean there's isn't a wedding, Cindy.

• Andrew Young is testifying in front of a grand jury as to whether or not John Edwards used campaign funds to keep Rielle Hunter quiet, or as the legal categorization would have it, "Baby Mama Hush Slush." [Rush & Malloy]
  
  
• Chelsea Clinton's wedding on Martha's Vineyard is going to be at Vernon Jordan's estate in late August, as previously reported. We're saving the date and waiting for our invite. We should probably not hold our breathing. [NYDN]
  
  
• Mugatu-esque German designer Karl Lagerfeld got some talk-to-the-hand from Heidi Klum's publicist, who says that the German Vogue issue with Klum on the cover (with an apparent 140-page spread inside) sold more issues than any other. None of this matters, because Lagerfeld is still kind of a scary Mugatu-esque asshole. [Page Six]
  
  
• Oh noez! Ron Weasley (Muggle name: Rupert Grint) has the Swine Flu. Gawker exclusive: Weasley was taken to Madam Pomfrey in the hospital wing of Hogwarts were they tried to use some healing potions to no avail. Then then had to ship him off on the Hogwarts Express back to Central London, where he became just another awesome celebrity case of Swine Flu. He is now better, and has flown back to the set of re-enactment documentary Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows. Meanwhile, Hermione Granger (Muggle name: Emma Watson) is keeping her relationship with Weasley under wraps as she publicly announces her plans to attend Columbia University in New York, where I will attempt to charm her with my Muggle blogging skills Brown University in Rhode Island, where she will come into contact with a bunch of Jewish Hipsters who she will hate because she didn't go to Columbia, in New York, a far more magical place than Rhode Island. It will probably fail miserably. Also, Harry Potter (Muggle Name: Daniel Radcliffe) won't date Emma Watson because it'd be too weird for them. Good to know the competition is thinning out. [Daily News, Showbiz Spy, Just Jared]
  
  
• Otis! My man! Tobey Maguire's kid has a name, and thy Spider Man spawn's name is Otis. People has the inside dirt on the middle name, too. [People]
  
  
• Rumer WIllis is going to be a lesbian on 90210. I hate that show and thus you will get no elaboration on what's probably a tragically bad, sub-par attempt at Gossip Girl's ingenious stunt casting. I'm sorry Rumer Willis, but you're no Wallace Shawn. You just aren't. [Daily News]
  
  
• Courtney Love trashed her hotel room at The Inn on Irving Place. Have you ever seen The Inn on Irving Place? It's the closest thing downtown has to a Bed and Breakfast. Like, jesus, Courtney Love: trash The Bowery Hotel. Located conveniently near the old CBGB space, you can relive memories of when that kind of thing was cool in bougie style while throwing things off your balcony at legitimately hot celebrities drinking in Bowery's backyard. Trash the Maritime and throw things out of those weird porthole windows. Trash the douche-magnet Hotel Gansevoorte - seriously, people would love that. Trash DeNiro's Greenwich Hotel or SoHo's Mercer Hotel, which were practically constructed for celebrity destruction. But The Inn at Irving? Are you raging a war on cuteness? Also, you know trashing hotel rooms is, like, so 1999 when Scott Weiland, Marilyn Manson, and the rest o your Home for Formerly Addicted Friends from The Crow soundtrack or whatever aren't doing it anymore. Seriously, old lady, put it on ice and chill the fuck out. You're already inches from this as is. [Page Six]
  
  
• There are 210 diamonds on the ring Kevin Jonas gave to his bride-to-be. Even I'm sitting at home with a gallon of ice cream, crying. We can haz inadequacies? There was also a small engagement party none of us were invited to. They went out for Pizza. [People and Pink Is The New Blog]
  
  
• Levi Johnston, shopping a book. I laugh loudly every time I see mention of Tank, his multi-faceted bodyguard/publicist whose name is Tank. He also does birthday parties. [Page Six]
  
  
• Matt Damon doesn't want Clooney or Pitt to take home the People's Sexiest Man Alive three-peat. Instead he's lobbying for Hugh Jackman. I'm still lobbying for Robert Gibbs. [People]
  
  
• Kelsey Grammer is already making jokes about the short-lived, massively underrated sitcom Back To You. [Page Six]
  
  
• Taylor Swift used to pick up Sparklers on the wrong end and burn herself as a child. SWOON. She can do no wrong. [People]
  
  
• Lewis Black believes in the power of the word "fuck." He notes that it's essentially a punctuation mark to many New Yorkers. This is one of those things that isn't "funny because it's true" so much as simply being true. The kind of true thing you hear, and you're like, yeah, what of it? [Page Six]

Rumors about Chelsea's wedding to her longtime mans ("boyfriend") Mezvinsky are swirling again, now; it was last reported by the Boston Globe in May that the pair were to tie the knot this summer on Martha's Vineyard at Ted Danson's crib. A Clinton spokesman issued a denial, saying that "She's not getting married on the Vineyard or anywhere else this summer. It's absolutely not true." Yesterday came a report from former MTV VJ Touré, of all people, via New York Magazine, of all places (to find Touré, demonstrating his deep knowledge of both weddings and sources who are "well-connected residents of Martha's Vineyard"!) that the two are getting married in a different location on the Vineyard.

Insiders say that it's their understanding that the two will wed in late August, at the summer home of longtime Democratic power broker, and friend of Bill, Vernon Jordan, in Chilmark..."It's a multi-acre former sheep farm that's "up from the road, away from the rigmarole," says one Vineyarder.

Is Fort Greene resident Touré going Deep Cover on the Vineyard and/or weddings beat? I smell a book! Not really, but it'd be fun. He also mentioned that it's something of an "open secret" that Obama's gonna be vacationing in the Vineyard in August. If it's true, it's an impressive scoop on his part, and honestly, kind of makes sense: Jordan's a former Clinton adviser who's still close with that camp, and his place is slightly more low-profile than Ted Danson's digs.

Oh, and if you didn't know: Mezvinsky is the son of a former democratic congressman from Iowa who went to the hoosegow for seven years due to a decent list of white collar crimes, including (but not limited to) bank fraud and mail fraud; Mezvinsky Junior's a banker, now. Chelsea's the daughter of a guy who was impeached. So there's that.

Will Chelsea Wed at Vernon's? [New York Mag]

• Paris' brother Barron Nicholas Hilton, 19, wants to be known for something substantive following his sad youth. "It's time to get this [bleep] started," he told Page Six. So he's "developing" a reality show with Viacom and becoming "an international singer-songwriter" using whatever, like, international-singer-songwriter program came with his iMac. They do say: the journey of 1,000 miles starts with a single step, taken impulsively by someone who can afford to fly that far First Class and have plenty of trust-fund allowance left over for bottle service.
• John Mayer wrote a new breakup song about a woman who is obsessed with another man and can communicate only indirectly, for example through national tabloid magazines. Jennifer Aniston, meanwhile, is still seeking funding for her movie about a sad rocker who exploits his dating life in a cheap bid to sell more songs. [People]
  
• Chelsea Clinton officially denied she's planning a secret wedding this summer with her i-banker boyfriend, even though they've been friends with for 16 years and it would be kind of adorable. Then Lindsay Lohan officially denied she's secretly broken up with Samantha Ronson, even though they've been fighting for 437 years and it would be a huge relief to the rest of the world if they stopped.
• Madonna's lawyer said no "law in Malawi... can stop this adoption." Then he challenged a brigade of Malawi commandoes to a dance off. [Us]
  
• Britney Spears' plan for contacting her slimy, forbidden ex-boyfriend was to collect a secret phone from his proxy in a hotel sauna while her mom worked out in the adjoining gym. The phone was later confiscated from her purse. Most pathetic. Spy movie. Ever. [People]

(Pic: INF)

• Oh hey libtards, Page Six is wondering if you're happy you all blacklisted Ron Silver? Year-old (secondhand?) quote from the late actor: "After I made that speech for President George W. Bush at the Republican Convention here in Manhattan [in 2004], Holly wood and Broadway dried up on me." It's the same blacklist that destroyed the careers of obscure Republican actors like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis and Clint Eastwood. [P6]
• Did the world's weirdest dance party involve Chelsea Clinton, Ted Danson and a J. Crew executive partying at Elephant "until the wee hours," or Nancy Pelosi and her husband singing "Age of Aquarius" and "Let the Sun Shine In" from Hair, in the aisles of a Broadway theater?
  
• Rihanna would like to remake The Bodyguard, the 1992 movie starring Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner. Then we can all discuss the creepy parallels between the two singers' lives. [Gatecrasher]
• John Roberts and Kyra Phillips of CNN are maybe getting it on. In Canada, because they're kinky like that. [P6]
• DJ AM, who survived a plane crash last year with former Blink 182 drummer Travis Barker, is suing Learjet and others for tens of millions of dollars. [People]
  
• Page Six just called Jon Stewart's brother, who works at the NYSE, a big Wall Street suck-up. This should end well. [Post]
• Lindsay Lohan crashed her car and hid from the cops at Jack Nicholson's house Friday night because there was a warrant out for her arrest. But then by Monday she was openly showing up at court-ordered DUI class. Like she needs lessons.
  
• Before Michael Jackson can tour again, he has to obsessive-compulsively rearrange his face for good luck. [Sun]

• Nadya Suleman said in her first RadarOnline videoblog that her older six kids attacked a picture of her newest eight kids. The tykes are slapping her, as well. At least when she wears the wrong colors. [Scoop]
• Rihanna and her reported batterer Chris Brown must really be trying to reconcile, because her family is flipping out. Sean Combs is hosting the pair, since a disturbing young couple in need (of a place to hide from public shame) is a disturbing young couple indeed. [People]
• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes went to dinner with fellow actor John Lithgow and his wife Mary Yeager. Holmes was crazy in a catatonic way; Tom was crazy in manic way. As usual with the couple. You crazy Operating Thetans, you! [Gatecrasher]
• The Brazilian dumped by young model Jesus Luz so he could date Madonna is not at all bitter, especially if not being bitter will get her own model pictures in the papers. [Mail]
• How good was Elton John's Oscar party? "Vomiting for days" good, raves one guest. [P6]
• At "21," Chelsea Clinton supposedly sent back a birthday cake because she and her father Bill are allergic to chocolate. Really? [P6]
• BREAKING: Peaches Geldof was "outclassed" somewhere. (This time it was a fashion event where she wore a "simple cream sheath over black tights" more appropriate for "a casual night out with friends.") [Mail]
• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson like to travel, so they can have screaming breakup fights in new and exciting locations. Tear-stained floor of a London nightclub, anyone? [London Paper]

Yeah, good luck with that. Sidwell's tuition runs nearly $30,000 a year, but that's a pittance for an enterprising tabloid. What's stopping the National Enquirer from planting a junior informant to cozy up to the Obama kids? Failing that, they could simply shell out milk money for cameraphone photos and text-messaged reports of their playground misadventures.

The notion that paying for an exclusive school will shelter Malia and Sasha Obama from an omnivorous media beast seems delusionally outdated. Instead, the kids will have to cultivate a steely reserve like their father's. It's hard to imagine a gaffe-free childhood — but that seems to be their only option.

(Photo by AP)

"Chelsea Clinton stopped traffic Friday night as she wandered the streets of Philadelphia on a gay bar crawl, winning rave reviews for both her politics and her appearance.

"Led around the neighborhood by Gov. Ed Rendell, Chelsea was mobbed by local gays and lesbians, as she walked from one club to the next. They ran up to hug her, posed for pictures and certainly invaded her personal space.

“'I grabbed her ass,' one young woman exclaimed to her friends after snapping a picture with her arm around the former first daughter.

“'Chelsea, the gays love you!' one fan exclaimed, as she took the microphone at Bump, a restaurant and bar that was her first stop. 'Oh, gosh, I don’t know if everybody loves me,' she responded.

"Most of those at the bar seemed to, squeezing past one another in the cramped space to get a photo. Even some patrons, donning Obama stickers—a rally for the Illinois senator had taken place a few blocks away earlier in the evening—tried to get a snapshot as well.

"In all, she visited four bars in Center City, concluding her tour at Woody’s, the city’s most famous gay bar. Getting from one event to another proved difficult at times, as she was constantly stopped by admirers while walking down the sidewalk. She reached into car windows to shake hands and was followed by several young women who tried to pose for photos on their camera phone, but seemed incapable of properly saving the pictures." [MSNBC via Drudge]

This comes as no surprise, since we already know how much Chelsea enjoys her gay partying.

[via IsThisHappening.com]