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Violent Happy Meal Toys Totally Unnoticed
The Tragic Tale of Susan Orlean's Chicken
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Rhymenocerous
08/06/09

In reply to Violent Happy Meal Toys Totally Unnoticed
Why would Ronald McDonald be wielding a knife? He's menacing, for sure, but I doubt he actually kills the chickens himself.
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Cynner
08/06/09

In reply to Violent Happy Meal Toys Totally Unnoticed
Eh, just give PETA the bird and be on your merry way. Best line I've heard about Mickey D's was... "Shake what ya mama and McDonald's gave ya!"
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Matt Cherette
08/06/09

In reply to Violent Happy Meal Toys Totally Unnoticed
PETA members are like IRL trolls.
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Edited by Matt Cherette at 08/06/09 11:55 AM Matt Cherette was starred Matt Cherette was unstarred

City_Dater
08/06/09

In reply to Violent Happy Meal Toys Totally Unnoticed
Oh sure, humane treatment for the chickens... but what about the poor underemployed actor in the chicken suit? Think anyone from PETA mops his brow and makes sure he's getting potty breaks?
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ChillbearLatrigue
08/06/09

In reply to Violent Happy Meal Toys Totally Unnoticed
Wow, PETA really didn't miss one opportunity to make plays on words, did they? It's kind of like one of those "Can you find all of the mistakes in this drawing" exercises that I used to* do in HighLights magazine in my dentists office. I'm counting five. They also could have used a more sympathetic looking chicken. I'm afraid of the one that they used and I think that scared children would be relieved that angry chickens are slaughtered and turned to food.
*I still do them.
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Mount_Prion
08/06/09

In reply to Violent Happy Meal Toys Totally Unnoticed
We all know that McNuggets are actually buds that sprout from the back of a hideous, genetically warped frankenchicken that Ronald McDonald keeps chained up in the factory basement.
Really then, the least cruel thing we can do is put them out of their misery (by eating them) before they have a chance mature and sprout McNuggets of their own.
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92BuickLeSabre
08/06/09

@Mount_Prion: If PETA spent more time making up stories like that and less time doing the above, it would be much more effective.

I'm pretty sure you've made it impossible for me to order any fastfood chicken for at least a decade.

*blech!*
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Edited by 92BuickLeSabre at 08/06/09 11:51 AM 92BuickLeSabre was starred 92BuickLeSabre was unstarred

SarahHeartburn
08/06/09

@92BuickLeSabre: Read "Fast Food Nation". You'll never eat fast food again. I pretty never started eating it because in college, I had a job doing research for a portfolio manager (in the 70's). Being in pre-internet days I had to read a lot of corporate reports - the type that only went to investment companies, not consumer investors, and fast food chains were becoming hot stocks.. What I would read about how the food was prepared made me decide never to eat the crap. Just knowing that International Flavors and Fragrances had a large part in the smell and taste of the shit was enough for me.
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SarahHeartburn
08/06/09

@SarahHeartburn: Also, I've only eaten a couple of McDonald's hamburgers because I broke out in a head to toe rash every time I did. Now a PJ Melon burger...
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ChillbearLatrigue
08/06/09

@Mount_Prion: I agree with 92. I think you've put me off of McNuggets for a while.
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ChillbearLatrigue
08/06/09

@SarahHeartburn: I avoid reading books or watching movies that make me not want to eat certain types of foods. I never have to eat anywhere at this point in my life, but I may not always have that luxury. In other words, I can afford not to eat McDonalds, but if everything ends up going wrong, I want to know that I can down a combo meal if I have to.
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92BuickLeSabre
08/06/09

@SarahHeartburn: As much as I love non-fiction generally, and food histories and clever essays specifically, I adamantly refuse to read "Fast Food Nation" for exactly this reason. I'd love it in the short term, but it would destroy me in the long term.

At least with "The Jungle" I can rationalize that it was "a long time ago; things are totally different now."
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Edited by 92BuickLeSabre at 08/06/09 12:45 PM 92BuickLeSabre was starred 92BuickLeSabre was unstarred

BxgrlJeri
08/06/09

In reply to Violent Happy Meal Toys Totally Unnoticed
I've eaten at McDonalds a handful of times in my life. Last time over 10 years ago. Why? Because the food sucks.

If people don't care about how horrifying the food is, they're not going to care about how horrifying the food's death was.
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Edited by BxgrlJeri at 08/06/09 11:15 AM BxgrlJeri was starred BxgrlJeri was unstarred

ChillbearLatrigue
08/06/09

@BxgrlJeri: Try the sausage biscuits. I agree that most of their food sucks, but those things are damned addictive. Also, they are only 75% trans-fat.
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CaptainFantastic
08/06/09

@ChillbearLatrigue: Sausage biscuit with scrambled egg please. If you're doing fast-food for breakfast, McD's is the place to go.
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ChillbearLatrigue
08/06/09

@CaptainFantastic: Yeah, exactly and by the time the meat makes it to being sausage it has been long dead anyway so who cares how it had been treated months ago?
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momof3wildkids
08/06/09

In reply to Violent Happy Meal Toys Totally Unnoticed
I hate to break it to PETA, but humans are meant to be omnivores. Eating animal flesh has nothing to do with morality and everything to do with biology.
My kids wouldn't have trouble w/the PETA unhappy lunch. They are quite aware of where our food comes from and we often to to a farm to pick up our beef and chicken. One of my daughters even picked out a cow which then later put in our freezer.
Animals should be slaughtered humanely and treated well. Look for "Animal Welfare Approved" farms (www.animalwelfareapproved.org) and you can feel good that your food was treated well when alive and slaughtered humanely.
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If_I_Had_a_Poodle
08/06/09

@momof3wildkids: hre's how isee it: i'm not vegan, and not even vegetarian, but while i think it's ok to eat critters, i do think they should be treted decently and humanely. it's wrong to torture them, wrong to keep them in unkind, degraded conditions. happy animals living decent lives and then being killed and eaten is a deal as old as organized human beings. mass factory farming with complete disregard for the animals as living creatures is a recent development based solely on profits, and is damaging for h people who work in those places and for the communities where those facilities are.
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momof3wildkids
08/06/09

@if_i_only_had_a_heart: Check out www.grazinangusacres.com This is where we purchase our beef, chicken and eggs. We've been up to the farm and purchase it at the Greenmarket in NYC.

Their "story" is a compelling one.
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Edited by momof3wildkids at 08/06/09 11:20 AM momof3wildkids was starred momof3wildkids was unstarred

ChillbearLatrigue
08/06/09

@if_i_only_had_a_heart: Without trying to give away free advertisement on behalf of a company, I eat at a burrito chain that claims to serve only naturally raised, hormone free meats and I honestly think that you can taste the difference. I can't say that all of the meat that I eat was from animals that were treated humanely, but I believe that a happy free chicken or cow tastes better than a tortured one. I'll pay up for that kind of quality.
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nowimpissed
08/06/09

@momof3wildkids:
The CBS link at the beginning of the story says that the campaign is targeting cruel slaughtering methods and that PETA is advocating humane conditions for the chickens. I'm not a huge PETA fan, but it seems like for once they're not taking the most extreme position possible and advocating a middle-ground that non-vegans/vegetarians can support.
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Atilla the Bun
08/06/09

@momof3wildkids: To say "humans are meant to be omnivores" is a little pointless. It's kind of like a man using his so-called "biological imperative" as an excuse to cheat on a significant other. Regardless of what may have been the case 6000 years ago before grocery stores and tofu, people can live just fine on a meat-free diet, and in fact plant-based diets can be healthier in many circumstances. If you want to eat meat, fine, and I think it's great you pay attention to the way the animals you eat are raised and treated at slaughter. But it's a choice, not a biological requirement.
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ChillbearLatrigue
08/06/09

@Atilla the Bun: I agree that it's not a requirement to eat meat. However, I do believe that we have a strong compulsion to dine on animals. I consider myself more of a carnivore, but that is also a choice.
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ChillbearLatrigue
08/06/09

@ChillbearLatrigue: And now, I'm promoting my own comments according to the fine print. Hooray for me!
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snugbug
08/06/09

@Atilla the Bun: Sorry, I'm with smart mommy of 3 kids on this. The human body processes animal protein way more efficiently than veggie protein. Won't source this factoid here, it's pretty unassailable. I salute this one mom for feeding her kids meat thoughtfully and teaching them respect for the animals that give their lives so kiddos can enjoy an optimally nutritious supper during their growth spurts.
Whenever this vegan vs. omnivore argument comes my way, I retort with that olde Joseph Campbell quote--"Life feeds on life. To say no to that is to say no to life itself." Mebbe a bit too philosophical, but following the example of the Native Americans, I've made my peace with this axiom.
PS: And yes, Carl Lewis, aka gazillion-times Olympic track-and-field medalist, was a vegan, but--oops!--he had to supplement his plant-based diet with pseudoephedrine, ephedrine, and phenylpropanolamine..
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SidAndFinancy
08/06/09

@ChillbearLatrigue: Clearly you've never tried a Guantanamocha latte. Delish!
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Atilla the Bun
08/06/09

@snugbug: That metabolism argument, though, is pretty inapplicable to most Americans who tend to consume much more protein than they really need. A little inefficiency in that department is not a bad thing. If I decide to train for the Olympics, I might need to re-evaluate my diet. But for my present lifestyle, I do just fine not eating the critters. And I don't think I'm saying "no" to life by doing it.
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Edited by Atilla the Bun at 08/06/09 1:07 PM Atilla the Bun was starred Atilla the Bun was unstarred

snugbug
08/06/09

@Atilla the Bun: Hey, I'll keep this going because you're smart and fun. Re: vegan lifestyle--Isn't it a bit intellectually strange to place the demarcation border at the fault line between flora and fauna? Aren't plants alive, too? Just because they don't purr when we touch them, should we assume they are inert and can't experience affect/suffering? That they don't scream in pain when we harvest their babies, aka pods, fruit, etc.? I know we're spinning off into the abstract stratosphere here, but just being curious.. I have never yet gotten a satisfying reply to this from any card-carrying vegan.
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ChillbearLatrigue
08/06/09

@SidAndFinancy: No, but if I give you my mailing address, could you send me one? I will pay for the shipping.
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momof3wildkids
08/06/09

@Atilla the Bun: I'm glad that not eating critters works for you. It just doesn't for me and my family nor do I think we are evil for consuming animal protein.
Your argument about monogamy really doesn't work. There is nothing inherently evil about boinking multiple targets with reckless abandon UNLESS you have an agreement not to act in that manner. It is the breaking of the promise that is reprehensible.
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Vivien Smith-Smythe-Smith
08/06/09

@Atilla the Bun: 6000 years ago? What kind of Young Earth Creationism are we promoting here?!
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Atilla the Bun
08/06/09

@momof3wildkids: It's not spot on, but in both instances someone is saying they don't have to consider the feelings of others/morality of what they are doing (and I don't mean the boinking; I mean the cheating) because its embedded in their DNA to do it. And I think we've moved past being slaves to that aspect of our biology. I don't think people are "evil" for eating meat. But having seen firsthand how farm animals are treated and slaughtered (my dad is a vet), I just cannot do it.
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Atilla the Bun
08/06/09

@snugbug: If someone can show me my spinach salad has nerve endings and/or synapses that allow it to process pain and thought, I might...well, completely freak out, and then maybe later see your point. Until then, I don't think PETA will be putting out a "The Agony of Arugula" educational video any time soon.
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lolgreg
08/06/09

In reply to Violent Happy Meal Toys Totally Unnoticed
I'd enjoy the free t-shirt.
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kneetoe
08/06/09

In reply to Violent Happy Meal Toys Totally Unnoticed
McDonalds has to hold their ground; they can't cowtow to these clowns.
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irishflyesq
08/06/09

@kneetoe: Oh, that made me Grimace.
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muppet_baby
08/06/09

@irishflyesq: Grimace's grandma's name is Winky. There, you learned something today.
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Adrian Chen
08/06/09

In reply to Violent Happy Meal Toys Totally Unnoticed
Isn't a regular happy meal sad enough already?
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ArdellaErinyes
08/06/09

In reply to Violent Happy Meal Toys Totally Unnoticed
McCruelty? I was always more of a Murder King kinda guy.
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Awesome X
08/06/09

In reply to Violent Happy Meal Toys Totally Unnoticed
I'm trying to get my hands on a Grimace-ing Tortured Bird and a Mayor Mc Despairingbloodyhalfbeheadedde....
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raincoaster
07/01/09

In reply to The Tragic Tale of Susan Orlean's Chicken
If it died of some disease, I can totally understand not eating it, but you and I all know that this is a woman who composts her leftovers, so what's the difference whether or not the bird was cooked before it goes into the bin?
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SaraRueful
06/30/09

In reply to The Tragic Tale of Susan Orlean's Chicken
Did anyone else see Tom Selleck on The Daily Show a while back? He was talking about how one of the cows on his farm died, and his wife and daughter loved it like a pet so he had to have it cremated instead of eating it. The big laugh came when he was describing how HUGE the vat of ashes was.
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