All U.S. Lab Chimps Are Finally Going To Paradise: A Retirement Home in the South Somewhere
Research chimps living in lab cages in the U.S. are at last going to do what retirees are meant to do: sit in the sun and bicker.
Jane Goodall Was Not Amused by John Oliver's Ideas About Chimps
On this weekend's Last Week Tonight, John Oliver welcomed renowned chimpanzee expert Jane Goodall to his ongoing series, "Great Minds: People Who Think Good," where he drags famous scientists down to his level and tries to beat them with experience. Several willfully stupid questions later, they agreed on exactly one…
Chimpanzees Are On the Loose at the Kansas City Zoo
The Kansas City Zoo went into lockdown Thursday afternoon after at least one chimpanzee escaped from captivity.
NIH Offers Most of Its Medical-Experiment Chimps Early Retirement
The National Institutes of Health announced today that most of America's federal stockpile of chimpanzees will be permanently retired from biomedical research. Of the 360 chimps currently available for testing, 310 are to be irrevocably assigned to the Federal Sanctuary System. The remaining 50 will still be eligible…
Pet Chimp Escapes for Second Time, But No Faces Ripped Off
Chimpanzees are not pets.
Aw, We Think He’s Human: Disneynature’s Chimpanzee
This year's Disneynature's Earth Day documentary offering, Chimpanzee, is the latest in a rash of documentaries about the emotional lives of animals to emerge in the past year or so. Project Nim, One Lucky Elephant and The Whale (my favorite of the bunch because it was responsible for one of the most moving cinema…
Will Science Survive Without Killing Monkeys?
Chimp research! Bird safety! Nemo extinction! Raptor claws! Rat acid! Alkali oceans! Lemur meat! Dolphin jetpack! And real talk words of wisdom about our current chemistry debates! It's your Thursday Science Watch, where we watch science—with compassion!
Loose Chimpanzee Channels Inner Rage, Trashes Cop Car
A 300 pound pet chimpanzee managed to escape from his owners Kansas City home yesterday—true story! Watch the footage of his standoff with the local police and animal control, complete with commentary from the amused neighbors.
Charlie the Smoking Chimpanzee Dies at 52
Charlie, a South African chimpanzee famous for smoking cigarettes while being an ape, has died at age 52, having lived ten years longer than the average chimp despite his tobacco habit. That doesn't mean smoking is good for you, however.
Today on Oprah: Bisexual Apes!
Today's Oprah featured—among other things—a report by Lisa Ling on Kanzi, the most famous Bonobo (aka Pygmy Chimpanzee) in the world. What did we learn about Bonobos from the segment? Most notably, that they're bisexual freak-a-leaks! Video inside.
Scientists Create First Robot With Emotions (Also, It Can Dance)
The recently-unveiled Nao robot, seen here demonstrating its superior dance skills, is the first robot in the world that can "develop and display emotions"—including sadness, happiness, fright, and, hopefully, guilt, which could prevent it from killing us all.
New Study Shows Chimpanzees Go to War Over Territory
A decade-long study of chimpanzees in Uganda appears to show that chimps wage war and annex territory, assembling into patrols and killing chimpanzees from other groups. On the other hand, baby chimps are really cute.
If You Don't Read This Post, We'll Kill This Chimpanzee
While it pains us to stoop to the animal-threatening tactics of National Lampoon, it seems that Hollywood is far more cavalier with the fates of its four-legged thespians. According to the LAT, one of filmdom's most enjoyable genres — that of the monkey movie — is being assailed by PETA activists, who are demanding…
