All U.S. Lab Chimps Are Finally Going To Paradise: A Retirement Home in the South Somewhere
Research chimps living in lab cages in the U.S. are at last going to do what retirees are meant to do: sit in the sun and bicker.
Jane Goodall Answers Our "Silly" Questions
All I needed to know was that Dr. Jane Goodall was available for interviews, and I was there, even if it was only for 10 minutes, even if it was in the Midtown Buca di Beppo.
Vegas Cops Shoot Mysterious Chimps That Appeared from Nowhere Before We Can Ask Where They Came From
Las Vegas had a weird morning Thursday, as two chimps magically appeared from nowhere to run across busy highways.
Woman Mauled by Chimp Reveals Her New Face
Charla Nash, who had her face and hands ripped off by her neighbor's chimpanzee in 2009 revealed her new face on the Today show today. For a woman who was mauled by an animal, she looks pretty damn good.
This is the Weirdest Chimp Video You Will Ever See
If you've ever wondered what TV would be like if Planet of the Apes really happened? Maybe it would have looked something like this nonsensical video.
Scientists Create First Robot With Emotions (Also, It Can Dance)
The recently-unveiled Nao robot, seen here demonstrating its superior dance skills, is the first robot in the world that can "develop and display emotions"—including sadness, happiness, fright, and, hopefully, guilt, which could prevent it from killing us all.
New Study Shows Chimpanzees Go to War Over Territory
A decade-long study of chimpanzees in Uganda appears to show that chimps wage war and annex territory, assembling into patrols and killing chimpanzees from other groups. On the other hand, baby chimps are really cute.
Chimp Rocks the Segway
Watch this chip careen around a park on a Segway chased by a man in a matching outfit.
First Movie Shot by Chimps Lacks Visual Style, Depth, and Ability to Work a Camera
In this preview clip, BBC America took what was probably the most usable minute of footage and slapped it into their preview. And in exactly zero of these shots did the chimps think to use a tripod, focus the lens, or even take some quick establishing shots. Instead it just looks like a Michael Bay movie.
Chimps Plotting Our Doom
Is it any wonder that fewer Americans declare themselves "religious" when the chimps are stockpiling weapons?
Chimp Lady Predictably Sad, Crazy
Sandra Herold, owner of Travis the chimp (Travis ripped a woman's face off after writing the stimulus bill), went on The Today Show because it seemed like a great idea in her current mental state.
The Beginning Of The End Of Chimps In Ads
Is this the end of monkey ads? The nonprofit Ad Council—which makes all those famous public service ads you see everywhere—has agreed not to use any more "great apes" in its ads. No chimpanzees or orangutans! Not only that, but the CEOs of dozens of major advertisers and ad agencies sit on the Ad Council's board, and…
Damnable Monkeys Now Using Firearms!
I am deeply concerned that my weekday colleagues are now in league with the monkey threat to civilization, as they conveniently ignored this disturbing report of chimps easily disarming humans in order-I am certain-to stock their burgeoning monkey army with firearms. "A chimp in Japan escaped the sweltering confines…
Is Rachel Bilson Feeling Guilty About This Monkey?
Former O.C. and current Jumper actress Rachel Bilson is complaining in Nylon about the chimp dressed as a Santa for website College Humor's last Christmas party: "Maybe I overreacted because I was too tired, but it made me so mad! All these people were drunk and taking pictures, and it was horrible!" It was a pretty…
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