The Best Way To Eat Chipotle
Chipotle offers four ways to consume its product: burrito, burrito bowl, taco, and salad. Instead, I recommend a fifth way.
Chipotle Executives Accused of Profiting off Artificially Inflated Stocks During Food Safety Scandal
America Is Giving Out Free Data to Chipotle Today
Chipotle is closed this afternoon because the company gave a bunch of people E. coli and now must make a grand public showing of how serious they are about not poisoning us. As part of this savvy public relations gambit, the company announced today that we’re all entitled to a free burrito. In return, Chipotle only…
Chipotle Will Shut Down Every Single Store On February 8 for Food Safety Meeting
Do you still eat at Chipotle? Even after various outbreaks of E. Coli, salmonella, and norovirus swept across its North American locations? If your answer is yes, you must be a very dedicated Chipotle consumer. Which is why you may want to plan ahead for February 8, when every Chipotle restaurant will close for…
Chipotle Sued For Defrauding Investors Over the E. Coli They Were Serving Up
Chipotle, the chain Mexican restaurant that proudly boasts a menu of food “with integrity,” and in several instances, “with E. coli,” has a new affliction to fight off: A lawsuit alleging the company defrauded its investors with regard to its food safety, or lack thereof.
The Government Is Investigating Chipotle's Diseased Burritos
A terrible year for Chipotle just got worse, with the announcement of a federal criminal investigation into the Mexican chain’s norovirus-laced burrito death bars.
Chipotle: Our Employees Didn’t Shout “Hands Up Don’t Shoot” at Baltimore Cops
A deleted post to a private Baltimore neighborhood Facebook group details an exchange between two uniformed BPD cops and employees at a Chipotle in which the employees, on seeing the police, raised their hands and yelled “hands up, don’t shoot,” mimicking anti-police brutality protests across the country.
Chipotle Refuses To Take the 'Diarrhea Burrito' Off Its Menu
Once again, Chipotle is just plain-out refusing to take down its signature diarrhea-inducing burrito—a menu item that is as unpleasant as it is unpopular.
Chipotle Shutters 40 Restaurants After Allegedly Feeding People E. Coli-Laced Burritos
Chipotle’s signature Halloween “Boorito” came with an extra-scary addition this holiday season: pathogenic strains of E. coli, a bacterium that can be fatal in some cases.
Chipotle: Nothing Tastes as Good as Death Feels
They say Chipotle is fattening, but not if it’s killing you from the inside—how lucky for Mexican food-loving Minnesotans!
The Bullshit Hypocrisy of "All-Natural" Foods
Here’s the thing about nature: It will fuck up your shit.
Chipotle Is Making You Fat
If you're not fat already, you could soon wind up fat because of Chipotle. Data published by the New York Times shows that we're all eating a shit-ton of delicious and reasonably priced calories and salt in the form of organic carnitas and guacamole. Great! Just great!
Hacked Chipotle Twitter: "Fuck the Government and the FBI"
Chipotle Mexican Grill's Twitter account was hacked last night. The hackers changed the avatar to a Nazi swastika and sent a number of racist and otherwise offensive tweets.
Chipotle Didn't Refuse to Serve Cops, Apologizes Anyway
Half-chicken half-pork Mexican chain Chipotle has apologized to the New York Police Department for "a wayward employee who mocked officers," an "employee's anti-cop protest," or "a worker's 'hands up, don't shoot' protest," depending on where you get your news.
The Price of a Literary Chipotle Cup
Earlier this week, we asked our readers for any information about Chipotle’s “Cultivating Thought” campaign—namely, how much dough the chain restaurant is offering famous authors to write the (extremely) short stories that appear on Chipotle cups and bags. Our readers delivered a few theories, and at least two…
How Much Is Chipotle Paying Writers?
Over the weekend, the New York Times highlighted Chipotle’s recent decision to print (very) short stories by famous writers on its paper cups and take-out bags. Called “Cultivating Thought,” the campaign is the brainchild of Brooklyn novelist Jonathan Safran Foer, who approached the fast-casual Mexican grill chain…
Diaper-Changing Dad Mad at Chipotle for Saying No to Shit on Tables
A family dining at a Midwest Chipotle location discovered that the restaurant's bathrooms didn't come equipped with baby-changing tables, so they decided to swap out their 1-year-old's soiled diaper right there on the dining room table. After a manager asked them to take it to their car instead, the father sent the…
Chipotle Workers Quit, Shut Down Store, Because That Job Sucks
A Chipotle restaurant in State College, PA, near Penn State University, has closed unexpectedly, because the workers were like, "fuck this job."
Taylor Swift Handed a Girl $90 Out of Her Purse to Go to Chipotle
The slightly-dotty-but-kind grandmother who inhabits the lithe, nubile body of 24-year-old Taylor Swift is up to her old tricks again. What's she gone and done now? Pulled $90 out of her pocketbook and given it to a stranger who didn't even ask for it, is all. Thanks for the money, Nana. Got any peppermints?
A Lot of People Bought Chipotle Last Quarter
A lot of you have been eating Chipotle lately. Lots. The fast-casual burrito chain posted a 26 percent hike in second quarter profits and same-store sales (or locations open at least a year) are up 17.3 percent. And that was after the first price hike at the company in three years. But who is buying all that…
