As we've tirelessly covered this year, Hershey, Inc. decided to yank the fun from Easter by suing a company responsible for importing British Cadbury chocolate into the United States. Why buy real Cadbury—creamy, smooth, delicious—when you could have Cadbury made by Hershey—acrid, sour, gritty, and painfully…

This is fucking madness: after Hershey, Inc. declared that they would be imposing a ban on chocolate imports from England to the US, necessary steps had to be taken to fight for our right to eat high-fat-content chocolate that doesn't taste like melted tires. A #BoycottHershey movement has begun.

The Concord Monitor has reported some very sad news: toxicology reports revealed that four bears who were found dead in September in New Hampshire had died from eating too much chocolate that had been left out as bait. Actual death by chocolate.

Gotta break a few eggs to make an omelet: in the latest volume of the Great Cadbury Creme Egg Controversy of 2015 that has affected every single person living in England and America, imports of the British springtime chocolate have reportedly been banned from entering the U.S. by Hershey Co. Sounds like someone's…

Two of the major manufacturers of chocolate revealed recently that, ahem, we might have a problem: the world is facing a chocolate shortage problem because we are eating way too much of the stuff. Everyone stay calm. I repeat. Stay calm.

The Boston Globe, among our country's most venerated journalistic institutions, republished a New York Times story about chocolate on its website today. For some reason, the photo it chose to accompany that story on Twitter shows a chocolate butt plug next to a chocolate Santa Claus holding a chocolate butt plug.

A 19-year-old Vogue model wound up in court this week after she allegedly tried to steal three chocolate bars from a downtown Whole Foods earlier this summer.

Last Sunday, officials at JFK International Airport arrested a woman for allegedly trying to smuggle over seven pounds of cocaine inside Toblerone chocolate bars and boxes.

It's the kind of story local news lives for — a black bear breaks into a Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory and makes off with several mouthfuls of merchandise.

"Did you see the news today? The scientists are saying that chocolate could be good for your blood circulation. Well I'll be. Who knew? Chocolate is a health food? No more going to the doctor for me! I have a bag of Hershey's Kisses, and that's a lot cheaper than health insurance! Oh, maybe I'll still go to my…

Take this with a grain of salt, but according to a recent study, people who eat chocolate regularly are thinner than those who don't. Now, if you follow nutrition news closely, you'll note that opinions on what's healthy and what's going to give you cancer tend to change from week to week. But hey, this study is…

The other day at the store I saw this "Hershey's Air Delight" bar. What's the big idea? You added some air into a chocolate bar? Is air some great ingredient now?

The U.S. Labor Department and the State Department are both investigating beloved chocolate maker Hershey's, due to the complaints of a few foreigners. The sweet company's crime? Helping foreigners learn about America.

Chocolate workout! Smaller gyms! Drummer warrior! Fast pushups! Helen Mirren! Tween athletes! Vegetarian benefits! Heart exercise! And Americans are still fat, all of us! It's your Wednesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—plyometrixplosively!

You think the world is a boring and cruel place and then one day you wake up on an absolutely normal morning and you look on the internet and there is a story about a Gourami fish who was living on a diet of nothing but chocolate. A fish named Gary! Why isn't Gary eating his grapes at the aquarium like a normal…