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Choices

not funny

Obama's VP Quandary: Is Prison Rape Funny?

Big news on the "who will Barack Obama's John the Baptist" front! First: his Vice Presidential choice will not be Hillary Clinton, because he just hired Patti Solis Doyle as his eventual Veep's chief of staff. Which is odd, because she was incompetent as Hillary's campaign manager, but less odd when you consider that choosing her is just a "fuck you" to Hillary and her terrible people. Second: Al Gore is endorsing Obama tonight, so obviously that means he wants to be Vice President again so that Americans can go back to not liking him very much in 2016 when he runs for do-over president. But this is the most important VP-selection-related news of all: if Barry Obama chooses Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius, the candidate will have to answer some very touchy questions about precisely how funny he finds prison rape. No, seriously. More »

fashion

Tight Baggy Jeans Achieve Holy Grail Of Pants

These new jeans may be a turning point in the evolution of pants. It goes like this: first, baggy jeans came into style. People bought big pants and let them sag. Then, baggy pants slowly went out of style, and tight pants came into fashion. But still—people missed their baggy pants. Fast forward to this moment in time: a company called Soulful Commandoe has introduced jeans that are both tight and baggy at once. This breakthrough was apparently achieved through the addition of several vertical inches of fabric in the waist area, as well as the inclusion of some gratuitous suspenders. Truly a development that will go down in fashion history. Click through for some larger pictures [The Gluttony via Satchel of Gravel] of this Pants Pants Revolution: More »

advertising

Only Hot Tub-Brand Snacks Calm The Freaks

I have two major issues with this disquieting viral ad for Hot Tub meat snacks [via Adrants]. First, the name of the product. Disgusting (and real? evidence is spotty). Second, the fact that this faux-documentary by the ad agency Saatchi & Saatchi is an overlong, too smart by half, stereotyped riff on hillbillies who keep an apparently retarded freak girl tied up in the basement. Somehow it just doesn't make me run out and purchase Hot Tub snacks. It can't be helping them in the crucial hillbilly demographic, either. And if it's all an attempt to show off the cleverness of the agency, well, Kentucky has ad clients too! You can watch the strange ad-thing below. Prepare to be offended, Appalachian stereotypes! More »

5wpr

Joe Francis Entrusts His Reputation To Professionals

Softcore porn king and "Girls Gone Wild" founder Joe Francis was set free today after spending the past year in a Nevada jail. He pleaded no contest to charges of filming naked underage girls, and was let off with time served . Who is he turning to to rehabilitate his shattered image during this critical period? None other than woman-cursing flack Ronn [sic] Torossian's 5WPR, home to more than a few disgruntled ex-staffers. Francis worked with 5W before, and I guess the whole "women as stupid cunts" angle does fit in with his normal M.O. Rock on! [TMZ] UPDATE: And here is Ronn's perfectly tone deaf quote to the media about Francis: More »

Dan Golden has announced he would rather work for Joanne Lipman at Portfolio (as a senior editor) than Rupert Murdoch at the Wall Street Journal. (Well, he was in the Boston bureau, and we'd work for Bonnie Fuller or Satan to get out of Boston, so.) Two related things: First, we heard a big editor at the WSJ quit right after the Murdoch and Col Allan visit last week. Second, wow, isn't Portfolio on a major lockdown right now? Not a PEEP out of that place in weeks! [Romenesko]

Sometimes we like to pretend we're doing sophisticated media analysis. (Maybe sometimes we even are! On accident!) But today, it being 9/11 and all, I can confess that we nearly crapped ourselves laughing over this one: "Boston Globe Media Introduces 'Lola' - a Boston Women's Lifestyle Magazine from a Boston Woman's Point of View." I'm sorry, but Lola is A WHORE'S NAME. Your magazine is for whores! Why not just name it "Showgirls" and be done with it? Or maybe "Skanks of Boston"? [NYT Co]

wing hags

The Beach Makes Alyssa Shelasky Do Extreme Things

"The beach" is Glamour tardblogger Alyssa Shelasky's excuse for this outfit, which she describes as "a Southern runaway, like, Juliette Lewis/Natural Born Killers. Fine, my costume made no sense. Just wanted an excuse to wear fake eyelashes, Jessica Simpson extensions (my hair is shoulder length again), and a skanky black bra." The second extreme thing Alyssa is doing is a mistake we have made before: having one's photo taken alongside Julia Allison, whose skin is coated with a special compound that makes every photograph of her look like it came from Us Weekly and which makes anyone standing near her look like a smeary-eyelinered troll. Oh, and here's something else extreme: "My sister is almost done with her teaching year, so she'll be here causing trouble with me soon. I've actually met some guys who would be better for her than me. I've even semi-dated one or two! Have you and your sibs ever exchanged guys/girls? Would that freak a guy out? Actually, it would probably turn them on. Men!" JESUS CHRIST, ALYSSA.

Good To Be Bad
[Alyssa]