The Huffington Post's tech reporter attended a wild Los Angeles party with Arianna and woke up without all his belongings; MySpace made a reporter feel dirty and Choire Sicha got not-quite-solicited advice on his vagina. The Twitterati were bewildered.

In your thrashed Thursday media column: More Conde layoff rumors, Martha Stewart's evil company gets sued, media hair racism persists, and Choire Sicha declaims on the current technomedia foofaraw.

Choire Sicha and Jeff Smith saw very different sweater scenes; Perez Hilton questioned someone's Twitter ethics; and Larry David did a shameless imitation of Larry David. The Twitterati were obsessed with cold-weather clothes and diseases.

Ana Marie Cox defended Joe Wilson, Atrios ached for Luke Russert and Kim Kardashian embraced "joyful thought." The Twitterati were ready 2 surprise U!

David Simon told television viewers to go screw themselves; Jane Fonda established a rallying point for her fellow travelers and Choire Sicha and David Carr watched a bust go down. The Twitterati celebrated troublemakers.

While the dreaded McKinsey recommendations are still weeks away, Conde Nast is in full cost-cutting mode. Examples: Graydon Carter is now lunching in the cafeteria with commoners and the free Fiji water will soon be replaced by tap water. Yeah.

The future of blogging rests in Choire Sicha and Alex Balk's laptops. After defecting from the Gawker Empire for Radar, which closed, they opened up their own shop: The Awl, which arrived in (thrust itself into?) a new era, today.

Now that Michael Jackson's passed away and the mad scramble to cover the breaking story has settled down a bit, the media can now turn its focus toward more important matters—How to profit from Jackson's demise.

Amanda Carpenter provided a gendered response to the Ensign scandal; MC Hammer shamed a writer and Choire Sicha revealed Awl. For the Twitterati, it was a day to discuss secrets.

We're past the first 100 days of Obama, but the post-racial buzz is still in the air. Even Jay-Z says there's no such thing as "black music" anymore? Ok, but what about white punctuation marks?

Gawker emeriti Alex Balk and Choire Sicha have launched their blog, The Awl ("a pointed tool for marking surfaces or piercing small holes"), which explains where I sit and features Emily Gould's advice. Welcome back.

Former editor of this site Choire Sicha is writing a book! Which we knew already. But now he's talking about it! The Platonic Ideal of 'Gawker' is writing about...people like you!

Jennifer 8. Lee saw Cameron Diaz. Ashton Kutcher missed Demi Moore. Choire Sicha dreamed about his therapist. On Twitter, we are all the stars of our own movies. Today's narcissist watch:

Anderson Cooper prefers to address questions about his sexuality with on-camera winks, nudges and the like. There's a reason the CNN anchor is not asked for more direct answers in formal interviews.

The media live deeply ordinary lives. Okay, deeply ordinary lives in which their bosses buy them caviar. The Twitterati report in with a feast for the senses:

Former Gawker editor Choire Sicha is now—for New Year's Eve at least—MSNBC's expert on the Obama girls.

Ha ha, dig CNN golden boy Anderson Cooper's subtle dig at competitor Rachel Maddow's show in the LA Times today: He thinks she's great, he just finds her show boring and cliché. Oh, OK!