Washington Post reporter Paul Farhi tweeted today that cables belonging to both MSNBC and CNN were tampered with today at the Donald Trump-Chris Christie rally in Fort Worth, Texas.

Donald Trump and Chris Christie today held a joint press conference, ostensibly to announce Christie’s endorsement, but effectively to roast the hell out of Marco Rubio.

Chris Christie today endorsed Donald Trump for president by giving a speech about Hillary Clinton.

Following a dismal showing in New Hampshire, Chris Christie has reportedly decided to suspend his campaign and stay in New Jersey.

According to the Associated Press, Chris Christie is heading back to Jersey to “take a deep breath” and “take stock of [his] presidential bid.” As Christie’s beloved idol Bruce Springsteen would say: Great—who the hell needs Chris Christie.

After starting off with the most perfect entrance possible, it looks like the candidates have finally gotten their shit together. Or at the very least, Chris Christie has, because he just tore Marco Rubio to shreds.

Here is Chris Christie, speaking today about debating Hillary Clinton, which, it should be noted, will never happen:

Today, Chris Christie got on television at 6:45 a.m. local time in Iowa to do an interview with Morning Joe, in which he talked about “pounding the meat.”

The nature trail warrior cosplayers are hitting day 25 of their exercise in extended squatting, and it looks like cabin fever has finally taken its toll. Because now, they’ve promised to leave if Chris Christie can beat the man you see above in a sumo match. In other words, Chris Christie is finally good for something.

Chris Christie will not be returning home to New Jersey in time for the blizzard expected to hit the state this weekend and plans to govern instead from New Hampshire—after all, the man has a primary to lose.

Chris Christie, who has nothing substantive to say and nothing left to lose, interrupted Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz debating tax policy, to finally let his Jersey out. “You had your chance, Marco,” he said, boxing out the senator from Florida. “Ya blew it.”

Back in 1995, Chris Christie loved New Jersey’s assault weapons ban so much he called anyone who’d attempt to repeal it “crazy” and “dangerous.” Now, along with everyone else in the Republican field, he is extremely mad about Obama’s relatively modest executive action on guns. What happened?

Why isn’t ISIS massacring people in the United States every day? Even after the FBI declared the San Bernardino massacre an “act of terrorism” today, the 14 bodies added to the jihadist column on the murder scoreboard still left Islamic radicals trailing right-wing extremists, 48 to 45.

Chris Christie’s presidential campaign took another tough blow today via an endorsement from a newspaper that hasn’t picked a winner in this century.

This weekend Donald Trump described personally witnessing “thousands and thousands” of people in New Jersey cheering as the towers came down on 9/11. Cue New Jersey governor Chris Christie, who is not going to stand for that, unless it helps him with voters—does anyone know if it will help him with voters?

As the GOP presidential hopefuls compete to see who can strike the toughest, most macho-looking anti-immigrant pose, we’ve witnessed Donald Trump’s “Operation Wetback,” thrilled to Ben Carson’s plan to Make Mexico Great Again, and heard Marco Rubio say “We can’t. We just can’t.” But here comes swaggering dicknose…

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, a man not really known for a cool demeanor, is totally cool with being “transferred” off the main stage for Tuesday’s GOP debate — in fact, he says it’s not even a demotion so don’t worry about it because he’s not worried about it at all.

Contact the author at jordan@gawker.com.

This will not stand. No. It certainly will not. Do you think Chris Christie, honorable governor of the state of New Jersey, is just some sort of toilet man?

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is having a bad morning.