The Web at 20: Not Quite Old Enough to Drink, Yet Drives Us to It

Dear important scientist Tim Berners-Lee: Thank you for inventing the World Wide Web 20 years ago. It's really great and stuff! But were you aware of the crimes committed in your name? More »

YouTube Endorsement Puts Obama Campaign In Jeopardy

I write you, my friends, at a grave time in this country's history. Apparently people think they can just record any old YouTube endorsement of Barack Obama without the possibility of it backfiring and costing the Democrats the presidency. Ben Affleck endorsed John McCain for the greater good of the Democratic Party last night. If you're like him and you find yourself with a lower IQ than the norm and access to a video camera, don't post your thoughts to the internet, especially when those thoughts involve chanting, "Black Man in the White House!" Only the McCain campaign's lack of YouTube awareness can save us now. More »

Chris Crocker Quits YouTube!

This whole thing is almost too hideous and useless to report, but, again, there is no news. To use a Choire-ism, news dried up and blew away about a month ago. So in these sere times, I am forced to mention that Chris Crocker&mdashsobbing Britney Spears apologist and, like, half a tranny—has up and done quit the YouTube. That's it! Like Lodwick and Gessen before him, it's over! I mean, there is of course one last video (smeared across the white internet page after the jump) in which Ms. Crocks asks his "legion" of fans to take a "deep ass breath" (heh, ass breath) and bravely swallow the news that, though he is its biggest star in recorded history, he has decided to leave YouTube because... well, I don't know. It's not really clear. See if you can parse the video yourself. What's really important, though, is that he's launched his own website, affiliated with new and soon-to-fail social networking site ShareNow. In his inaugural blog post he writes, demurely: "Hide your momma's, your daddies, and most importantly- your boyfriends. My official site is almost ready to launch.. Kisses & Cumshots, Chris Crocker" So that's, um, gross and irksome. Good luck... you. More »

"The Best Way To Protect Her Is To Become Her"

[Pretty pretty princess and Britney Spears apologist Chris Crocker in Lost Angeles yesterday. There are even worse pictures of this particular event than this one, if you can believe it. Image via WENN]

Chris Crocker Got 800 Thousand Views For Blinking Twice

Ready the rage of the creative underclass: Chris Crocker says about this five-second clip, "The point of this video is to show that all I have to do is blink to get the video views I do." So far it got 806,112 views. More »

Chris Crocker to Homophobosphere: "F—k You!"

This month's Advocate magazine contains an article about the "Homophobosphere", a term they've coined for gay bashing on comment enabled sites like YouTube. And would you believe it: sad, peroxide-stained pixie and Britney Spears apologist Chris Crocker has somethin' to say about it! Specifically, "Fuck you." While getting lost on his way to a garbled paper bag metaphor, he manages to splurt out a few expletives toward all those queer hating commenters. Oh, and The Media! The Media that latched so firmly onto his infamous Britney defense video, but, he insists, will NOT cover this video. Because of the homophobery. (Well, here you go, Chris.) This is all expounded in his typical shrieky fashion, prompting YouTube commenter marwil2629 to quaintly suggest: "stick a dick in your mouth so we dont have to hear you anymore." Oh dear. I think we'll let this little self-generating love/hate fest play out on its own and go read Queerty or something. No homophobosphere there!

You! Can Be Chris Crocker's Boyfriend

Hey! (Hey!) You! (You!) Chris Crocker wants a boyfriend! Background: He's still only famous for being the one Britney fan more disturbed/ing than Britney herself. Extra background: He is a he. The 19-year-old Crocker still lives with his grandparents somewhere in the South (hometown and real name undisclosed). But if you figure the kid's rumored upcoming reality show will turn him into a star, see his video casting call below. " I want a guy who is off his rocker for Crocker," he says, "who wants to fight for me tooth and nail!" Suitors can leave video responses on YouTube to apply. More »

Chris Crocker Is Back! And Disappointing.

The effeminate young man who requested that the country lay off of Britney a bit has posted a video, the first one he's put on YouTube since his tearful plea of September 7. (He did post some others but immediately removed them, but this one's stayed up for a full day now.) In the video, Chris Crocker (still not his real name!) announces his return, shows us how scared he is, doesn't mention the reality show he supposedly landed two weeks after his rant, and sounds just like the passport-losing party-going indie filmmaker Arin Cromley. Also, fingerquotes! Which is why you should totally click through and watch. More »

Cheer Up

Yesterday was difficult. It's always confusing and painful when our heroes fall. I know I want to start today with a little benediction, a hope that the machine will soldier on. To that end here is the latest from crazed uber Britney fan Chris Crocker. It will rejuvenate and elate you. Or make you get up and go outside. Either way, enjoy. [Oh, maybe NSFW? Depends on your employer's "gyrating" policy.]

Perez Hilton Suddenly Dignified

[World famous Britney Spears fan and video self-portraitist Chris Crocker at LAX this past weekend; image via Bauer-Griffin] More »

Chris Crocker: Free At Last!

Window-dresser and celebrity-potter lover Simon Doonan interviews Chris "Leave Britney Alone" Crocker, and the insanity!

If you could bring a celeb back from the dead, who would it be, and why?

More »

Chris Crocker Starts Campaign Against Internet Nudity

Chris Crocker, MySpace and YouTube star and teen LOLgay, is now the awareness spokesperson for not putting naked pictures of yourself online. A week or so ago, an extremely gay blog posted extremely naked pictures of Crocker that they said they found on the "Suicide Boys Livejournal Community or on a dating site." (We didn't link to them because he was like, 17 or something when he took the pictures.) Now the young web sensation has found meaning in a quest: helping other home-schooled teens to not put the butt-nekkid jpegs on the internets. It's a great and timely public service campaign for our time. He's also working on his zen practice: Crocker told Seattle-based reporter Eli Sanders of folks on the internet that "If they want to stare at a 17-year-old cock all day, that's their damage." Good point! But was the internet designed for doing anything else?

Leave Britney Alone Guy: A Video Response Round-Up

We're confident that by now you have familiarized yourselves with the work of Leave Britney Alone Guy, who, in the space of one tear-drenched and venomous j'accuse launched via YouTube at the entire Poptard-Flameout-Savoring Industrial Complex, has seen his viral Q-rating status climb to levels Jim Carrey would kill for. As any internet sensation—even one coming from as truthful and waterproof-mascara-coated a place as this one—is bound to inspire legions of online parodists to greater heights, we offer in their honor a Leave Britney Alone Guy video response round-up: More »

Britney Boy Happy To Say Provocative Things To Anyone Who Wants To Interview Him

Chris Crocker—the weeping Britney fan whose YouTube performance has inspired homophobia even among the gays—is milking his recent notoriety for all that it's worth. While professing indifference to the possibility that his fame might fade ("at the end of the day I'm still going to have my luscious hair, and I'm still going to have a mirror to look into and that's all that matters. The public doesn't make this diva, I'm already made."), he's not exactly turning down any interviews either. More »