[via Cajun Boy]

Stephen Witt, a reporter from the New York Post-owned Courier-Life chain, seized the microphone to try his hand at stand-up comedy during the delay.

“What do you know about Brooklyn 99-cent stores?” asked Witt, who last made headlines for hugging Atlantic Yards developer Bruce Ratner at a 2006 rally. “Have you ever been so broke that you had to put something on lay-away at a 99-cent store?”

Witt’s quip was met with boos...

“It was just awkward, and I feel kind of embarrassed for him,” said one woman, who said she saw Witt consuming alcohol before his artistic contribution to the evening.

And look, there's a clip!

[Brooklyn Paper]

In the recording, Pellicano brags about having obtained a police report he should not posses — one of the tactics at the center of the trial.

He reads the report's description of the alleged rape to Rock, who alters his prior description of exactly how he consummated the encounter: "I had a rubber on. I probably took it off right when I was getting ready to come. I probably came on her ass." This section is lengthy, if you're interested go to the original on HuffPo and start around 13:30..

Pellicano advises Rock, "You have to change your story now, that you came on her leg." Then he calls the comedian "honey," as he does repeatedly throughout the recording.

Then things start to get a little sketchy. Rock said he gave the woman money, even though he did nothing wrong. Pellicano said he should not have done so, but "we're going to take care of her one way or another, down the pike. The world turns, if you understand what I mean."

Finally, the conversation gets nasty.

Pellicano: I will just blacken this girl up for you left and right... it's going to get done.

Rock: Rape it's, just, fucking buzz... once you get accused of rape you are just fucked.

Pellicano: That's why I wanted to black this girl up totally. I want to make her out to being a lying scumbag, manipulating, cocksucker, so that all that could ever come back to her is that.

Someone (HuffPo says Pellicano): Stupid bitch.

Rock: I'm fucked. I'm better getting caught with fucking needles in my arm. I really am. WAY better. Needles, with pictures, there's Chris Rock shooting heroin. Much better blow to the career.

In the full audio recording, Pellicano is even more unlikable, screaming and cursing like a lunatic at his secretary, absurdly lecturing Rock about his film career, constantly reminding the comedian what a favor he's doing him and constantly calling Rock him "babe" and "honey." For most of the call, Rock sounds annoyed and aloof, if shifty about his story. But however annoyed he might sound, he is the one who hired this guy.

Full audio on Huffington Post: Chris Rock And Anthony Pellicano's Secret Phone Call: The Tryst, The Tissue Of DNA And All The Details

Ali joins Queen Rania of Jordan, Queen Rania is paired with Bono, Bono stares at the back of Condoleezza Rice's neck, Condi is almost edged out of the picture by George W. Bush, Bush observes Bishop Desmond Tutu at prayer, Tutu stands behind a seated Brad Pitt (you'd think the dude would have offered the elderly bishop the chair), Pitt bros it up with Djimon Hounsou, who scopes out Madonna's rack. Madonna whispers something in Maya Angelou's ear, Angelou looks disapprovingly at Chris Rock, Rock tweaks Warren Buffett's ear (Africa=ears, apparently), Warren puts a calm hand on Bill and Melinda Gates, the Gateses flank Oprah, who whispers something to George Clooney (seriously, there's some kind of ear fetish here, because Clooney does the same thing to Jay-Z). Hova stands next to Alicia Keys, Keys poses with Iman, and Iman whispers to Don Cheadle, who you'll remember from his earlier appearance with Barack Obama. Whew! Caring about another continent takes a lot out of you!

Vanity Fair

The decision not to go with Mr. Rock leaves a small pool of other likely candidates, among them Billy Crystal, Steve Martin and Whoopi Goldberg, all former Oscar hosts. Whoever takes the job does so after a year in which the industry has been shaken by a declining box office, and when no one movie is expected to dominate the awards.

Among the movies considered likely to win major nominations are "Brokeback Mountain," starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger; "Munich," starring Eric Bana; "Walk the Line," starring Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon; and "Memoirs of a Geisha," starring Ziyi Zhang.

Oh, good God almighty. You know what that means: Billy Crystal wears a cheongsam in the opening monologue, doesn't have the balls to make any good butt-sex jokes, "hijinx" ensue.

After Mixed Reviews, Rock Will Not Return as Oscar Host [NYT]

COOPER: It's obviously — you know, I talk to a lot of people who watch this on television, and they all want to help, they want to be there. How is it different actually being there and meeting people than it is just kind of watching it on television?

ROCK: You know, when you are here, you meet the people, and, you know, you form a relationship. And, you know, they are real to you. It's not — and you want to help, you want to — you know, you want to be hands on. You don't want to just send a check. And you want to see that, you know, the money you are giving is, you know — you know, going to good.

COOPER: And what — what can you show us? I know you're — I can't see where you are, because we're a little — because I'm over here in Mississippi. What can you show us where you are?

ROCK: What can I show you? OK.

I think this is like — what is this called? I mean, I don't want to sound like a rich guy. I know it's an apartment. But it's called a two bedroom efficiency. A family lives in here.

I sound like (EXPLETIVE DELETED). Sorry.

Yes, you do.

But, you know, it's hard, you know, to be on television. Especially, you know, when you don't, you know, have any experience with it, you know.

(Screengrabs, anyone?)

Anderson Cooper 360° Transcript [CNN]