First, we can't really imagine Green throwing a Christian Bale-sized tantrum. Second, though we love all things Green, he's not the best dramatic actor and, sadly, this comes off as a bad bit. Initially we thought perhaps this was to publicize something, but Green's above that, right? Maybe he's just taking the piss to see what happens.

Whatever the reason for this video, it seems phony to us, but why don't you offer your own take. We're easily influenced.

McG, director of such films as Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle and Terminator Salvation, doing press junkets to promote the release of Terminator Salvation, was talking about Christian Bale's much-publicized freakout during filming and how movie sets can be stressful environments filled with monster egos, when he casually mentioned this little story to a reporter from The Guardian:

McG declines to comment any further than he already has, but points out that movie sound stages can be stressful places where creative battles sometimes become heated. Particularly, it seems, on his sound-stages. "I'm reintroducing the fist-fight to movie sets," he smiles. "I don't think there's been a film I've made where there hasn't been some kind of physical fight. I mean, I've been headbutted by an A-list star. Square in the head. An inch later and my nose would have been obliterated." Will he be revealing any names? "Nah, I probably shouldn't," he smiles. "But it was Bill Murray. Y'know, it's a passionate industry."

Bill Murray?!?! Bill Murray is a lot of things, but he might be the absolute last guy we'd ever expect to throw a headbutt on a director during filming. Do we see him sipping cognac and playfully flirting with younger women in hotel bars, accosting people in the middle of the night in parks, and maybe wandering into a hipster party in Brooklyn and getting stoned with the kids every now and again? Yes, totally! But do we see him as someone who headbutts people at work? No, absolutely not, which all points to one thing—-McG is probably as massive a tool as his name suggests.

More Proof That Bill Murray is Really Cool [Film Drunk]
I Was Headbutted By Bill Murray [The Guardian]

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• Prince Harry came to New York, and was restricted by his handlers and security detail from going out and partying, thereby inevitably acting like the complete twat the public has gotten to know him as. He's now being hailed as some kind of distinguished diplomat. [Daily Mail, NY Daily News, whoever else is ridiculous enough to fall for this.]
  
  
• The Octomom lady is getting her own TV show. She made a careful point to distinguish it from Jon and Kate Plus 8 noting that "you won't even remotely like my kids." But really, her lawyer did try to make the distinguishment by saying: ""Her television program will not be like the Jon and Kate Plus 8 show...[Nadya] is looking forward to providing her side of the story." Missing link: found! [US Weekly]
  
  
• Widow of Aaron Spelling, Candy, went on the radio yesterday to note that Tori Spelling cutting off communication with her father sapped him of his will to live. Doesn't this feel like it'd fit into the plotline of any number of Aaron Spelling shows quite nicely? [WWTDD]
  
  
• Daivd Hyde Pierce told The View that he's been married to his longtime partner since fall of last year, and that they've kept a low profile until the Supreme Court decided to fuck with them. [NYDN]
  
  
• Ex-wife of Larry David and An Inconvenient Truth producer, preachy environmentalist Laurie David, keeps building over the wetlands behind her Martha's Vineyard house. [Page Six]
  
  
• I don't keep up with American Idol, but I do know this: there's a runner-up and a winner, and one of them is gay. Knowing that the one whose ass-barcode scans as Kris Allen (the "winner") is going to Disney World does not help me make this distinguishment any easier. [Entertainment Tonight]
  
  
• Jennifer Aniston and Courtney Cox were seen leaving a Fleetwood Mac concert in L.A. Thursday night. They talked about their indefatigable, free, untethered spirits while holding hands during "Gypsy," and then did their best impression of Mr. Burns saying "ehh-xcel-ent" as they discussed the piles of money they're going to be swimming in after the ink is dry on their "Friends" movie contracts. [Just Jared]
  
  
• Christian Bale's wife "doesn't take [his] nonsense." Except for that time he lost half his body weight for The Machinist and looked like a terrifying walking skeleton, which, apparently, she loved. [Daily Mail]
  
  
• Ellen Pompeo is "so excited" to be having a baby, and all the things that come with it, like a baby bump. If you were receiving your first third-dimension, you would be, too! They don't know if they're going to write said Bump into Grey's Anatomy, nor what kind of "Mc-" prefix it will be ordained. [US Weekly]
  
  
• Susan Boyle's predicted to make five million pounds whether she wins or loses Britain's Got Talent. Query: which economist got the job of predicting how much reality talent show winners are going to speculatively make? [Daily Mail]
  
  
• Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen shared some chap stick at a tennis match. Somehow, this makes news on P*r*z, which is inexplicably enjoyable. [P*r*z H*lt*n]
  
  
• Something something something, new Twilight: New Moon teaser clip, something something joke about "beating the vampire blogs to it." [Pink Is The New Blog]

1) Night at the Museum 2: Panic! at the Smithsonian — $70 million
Now, that's $70 million over a four day period, from Thursday to Sunday. But, still. Huge numbers, biggest ever, in fact, for Stiller. And, if the funnyman and his golden boy writing team agree to it, the film's success just near about guarantees a threequel. Une Nuit à la Louvre, perhaps? Mona Lisa comes alive and smirks enigmatically at everyone (to be played by Anne Hathaway)! While Stiller's continued success seems increasingly smug and middlebrow, we are pleased for Lennon and Garant, who hopefully now will have the freedom to write the weirdest, profanest stuff they can dream up and still get a green light.

2) Terminator Salvation — $53.8 million
Am I going to walk around and rip your fucking movie down, in the middle of Memorial Day weekend? Then why the fuck are you giving my boring action flick bad word of mouth? Ah da da dah, like this, all over town. What the fuck is it with you? What don't you fucking understand? You got any fucking idea about, hey, it's fucking disappointing having somebody walking up behind someone in the middle of the fucking movie theater line and saying "Don't go see Terminator, cause it sucks"? Give me a fucking answer! What don't you get about it? Oh, so you saw Night at the Museum with your kid instead of my movie? Ohhhhh, goooood for you. And how was it? I hope it was fucking good, because it's useless now, isn't it?

3) Star Trek — $29.4 million
The force is still strong in this one! Hyperdriving to a lightsaber-hot $191 million in just a few weeks, the film is set to make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs—a new record! Soaring high through the clouds of Bespin, this swashbuckling space opera is sending the competition barrel-rolling down into the murky swamps of Dagobah. Sy Snoodles will be singing this movie's praises for eons, like a beautiful pop culture icon being slowly digested over a period of a thousand years by the mighty Sarlacc.

4) Angels & Demons — $27.7 million
Well good for everyone here. The film dropped less than 60% in its second week at the rodeo. While international numbers are sure to remain high for a lil' bit, this installment of the Dan Brown every-chapter-ends-with-a-cliffhanger-just-like-Fear Street religio-mystery series will not come close to its predecessor The Da Vinci Code's big returns. But no one really expected to, and every summer one or two movies do just OK, mostly lost and forgotten in the sea of churning robots and angry wizards and troubled museum guards who—wait, why is he in DC now?

5) Dance Flick — $13.1 million
A new generation of Wayans is welcomed into our hearts, as this a-few-years-too-late parody of films like Save the Last Stomping for When It's Time to Step Up does solid numbers in a super-crowded holiday weekend. We're pretty excited for the upcoming spoof Holiday-Time Family Cameo Comedy, in which Marlon Wayans Jr. plays a museum guard who must suddenly become a dad while driving a taxicab full of alien kids and then it's all 3D animation and Seth Rogen and a bunch of SNL people (or people pretending to be them, hilariously!) show up and everyone chuckles and forgets what they saw thirty minutes after leaving the theater.

Enemies was the subject of a Sherman Oaks test screening over the weekend, reviews of which have been pieced together from message boards and other outlets of a mostly happy viewership. Loath to major spoilers as we are, we've chosen a few, more subtle highlights to illuminate what you have to look forward to from the Depp-Bale-Cotillard saga coming to theaters July 1:

· "To watch Johnny's face go through all the emotions he's feeling is just incredible."

· "THE MAIN THING THAT BOTHERED ME MOST? The handheld cameras. Really did not like the handheld cameras. During the shoot outs I felt like I was in a video game and that took me out of the movie and it just pissed me off. I couldn't think of why Michael Mann decided to film the movie like that."

· "As for the film needing "tightening"-possibly. I'm not sure what else could be cut, but then again, I know the story so it wasn't difficult for me to follow. I noticed a few camera shakes which may have been unintentional( or maybe intentional?) The gunfire is very loud which I didn't mind, but some might think it too loud."

· "[N]o sex scenes to speak of - just enough to show that [John Dillinger] & Billie were totally connected. (Sorry ladies….I would've liked a scene or two, it wasn't really necessary to the story.)"

· "Bale was not developed enough. Thought his accent was great and he was very believable, but I think more time should have spent on his character than say Baby Face Nelson. There were a couple other side characters I didn't care about either, but it didn't ruin the experience for me. Marion Cotillard. What can I say other that she's beautiful and talented."

· "Just bring your kleenex."

• Test Screening Reviews: Michael Mann's 'Public Enemies' [/Film via NYP]

Out of popular demand, and several days too late, the results vastly exceeded our expectations. [YouTube via BoingBoing]

He brought his first, and therefore most critical, mea maxima culpa to an unlikely platform, calling in to KROQ's Kevin & Bean radio show. After assuring them "this is no punk," he thanked them for making him laugh during what has been a "miserable week" for the anger-mismanaging Terminator Salvation star.

The apology itself was a masterful act of contrition, with Bale gingerly avoiding any even remotely salty language as he went about the business of hitting his various, self-effacing, did-it-for-the-greater-good-of-the-production-but-what-a-impotent-little-hot-head-I-am talking points.

On caring too much:

I'm not comfortable yet with this notion of being a "movie star." I'm an actor. The thing that disturbs me so much is that I've heard a lot of people saying that I think that I'm better than everybody else. And nothing could be further from the truth. I'm a lucky S.O.B., and that is why I put so much into what I do.

How the Method made him do it:

In [T2] you will meet Sarah Connor. And she is in an insane asylum—why is she there? Because she is crazy. Now I play John Connor her son, and on the day that all of this happened, the scene that we were doing, I was trying to show a little of that in-the-blood craziness, and it went a little wrong... I took it way too far, and I completely mixed up fact and fiction. I'm half John Connor, I'm half Christian there.

On how DP Shane Hurlbut and he are not quite done professionally:

I've not only talked with him, we've resolved this completely. That very day we kept working for a number of hours. Listen when I'm saying I'm not coming back on that set if he's still hired, it's hot air. I don't believe that. I have no intention of getting anybody fired.

On the folly of him being perceived as a bully:

And another thing: a lot of people that I was a bully to this guy. That's an insult to Shane. He is a big guy. I couldn't have bullied that guy if I tried. He's much bigger than me—he's an ex-friggin football player.

One final plea for your Terminator Salvation dollars, if not for Bale, then for the hardworking TS crew:

Please, I'm asking people— do not let my one time lapse in judgment, my incredibly embarrassing meltdown overshadow this movie, and let all those people's hard work go to work go to waste. The mythology is too big.

Oh, stop it, you big lug! You had us at "in-the-blood craziness!" Just promise us you'll drop the bat-voice from all future performances, and we're as good as reconciled.

Click to hear the full apology from half-John Connor/half-Christian.

• AUDIO: Bale Apology [TMZ]
• Kevin & Bean

• Remember when rumors about a straight star in a gay bar were undesirable for the celebrity? These days the star not only goes to the bar but sings a showtune there and leaks the whole thing to the gossip columns, to prove he's totally comfortable around gay people. Especially if the star is Guy Ritchie, accused homophobe. But he makes sure to throw in that he had two "hot chicks" with him, just so, you know, no one thinks he's light in the loafers. [P6]
• Christian Bale's mom knows how that director of photography feels. "I wish [Christian] hadn't carried on so long or so fiercely, it was upsetting to hear him." [OK!]
• Jennifer Aniston let slip in a magazine interview that she still has Brad Pitt's old answering machine messages. Oh, oh Jennifer. Even as a publicity stunt for your movie: Sad. [Mirror]
• Marc Jacobs' boyfriend wore a t-shirt to a movie screening reading, "Do me in the park. Marc." Such a Sean Preston move. [P6]
• Katie Couric is not afraid to speak the name of Justin Timberlake's SNL skit, "Dick in a Box." Or to be seen asking him about it in an interview. [Scoop]

According to their report (accompanied by this photograph, which they say is the two men minutes before the legendary screaming match), the confrontation elevated Bale to kingly heights among the peasant crewfolk Hurlbut had sadistically shamed countless times before:

[Hurlbut] was widely despised," sources tell RadarOnline.com exclusively. "Hurlbut was a condescending (bleep) to everyone," a source told us. His favorite line was "Why don't you go stab yourself in the head, you idiot."

We've lined up the Defamer interns and spoken those words at them in about a dozen different tones and volume-levels, and we've come to the scientific conclusion that there's really no nice way to say that.

But can we trust Radar's report? A Defamer tipster seems to corroborate their findings:

I was on the crew of another film Shane was recently DP on and he was despised. Crew hated him - actors had hard time. He would tell his crew, if he was displeased with them, to "Stab themselves in the heart and die." or "Blow yourself up." On this film he would constantly re-light when actors got to set and tweak during takes - it was bad.

Well then. That really puts a new spin on things, doesn't it? Frankly, we've never heard such abusive language out of an artisanal maple syrup maker, and have to say that it leaves a sappy, Grade C taste in our mouths. We'd like more firsthand stories. Send them here.

• On Set Photos Of Bale And Target Of His Tirade [Radar]

At least, that's if Bale's turncoat former assistant Harrison Cheung is to be believed. His anecdotes helped fill out a truly insane biographical article of the star in the Mirror, which recounts how Bale's father treated him like a "boy king," then, after being cut off financially, railed against him in a tavern-set monologue that drew applause and tears. According to Cheung, though, Bale's new stepmother had it just as bad:

No one was immune from Bale's attacks, even his dad, who went on to marry Gloria Steinem. She was the feminist icon who coined the phrase "a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle".

Cheung added: "Gloria liked to pontificate and was going on about something for ages at the dinner table one night. Christian suddenly let out a huge sigh and said, ‘For God's sake woman, shut up!'"

Look, Gloria, your opinion was fucking distracting Christian from reading his latest, McG-annotated Terminator: Salvation sides ("Was thinking maybe Bryce Dallas Howard turns into an exploding fireball at end of love scene, Y/N?"). You want him to come over there and fucking trash your feminist theory and Ms. magazine back isues? No, fuck, no!

• Christian Bale - We reveal the dark side of the star of Batman's Dark Knight [Mirror]

It quickly inspired parodies, imitators, dance-remixes, plus at least one undergraduate academic essay, handed in just minutes ago at an exclusive liberal arts college in rural Massachusetts, entitled Ooooh Goood: Foucault's Theory of Discipline and Punish as it Pertains to the Christian Bale 'Terminator Salvation' Tantrum of the Century.

Of course this wasn't the first we'd heard of Bale's legendary temper—we'd just never had any hard evidence. The most notable incident previous to this was his arrest following a heated squabble with his sister and mother (a former circus clown, leading us to dub her Momzo) at a London hotel shortly before The Dark Knight's UK premiere.

The details were sketchy. At first the story was that the two had filed physical assault charges, later downgraded to "Class 5 verbal assault" charges. (Class 1 is the most severe.) In his only statement on the matter, Bale told a Spanish press conference that it was "a deeply personal matter...I would ask you to respect my privacy..."

Now his mother has spoken out about the leaked audio:

Jenny Bale, 61, told the Telegraph that she understood Bale's anger at the time but that the foul-mouthed tirade at cinematographer Shane Hurlbut on the set of the new Terminator film was "upsetting" for her to hear.

Speaking from her home in Bournemouth, Dorset, Mrs Bale said: "I haven't spoken to Christian about it, but I have listened to most of it and he was clearly very angry. He is a perfectionist and if you are doing an intense scene and someone is spoiling a shot, it takes time to get it back.

"It sounds as if a lighting engineer got in the shot so I can understand his anger but not the length of the tirade.

"It happened in July when he was filming the Terminator and was before the incident with him and myself at the Batman premiere with all the publicity.

"People might now realise that that is his temper, they might understand a bit more. I wish he hadn't carried this on so long or so fiercely, it was upsetting to hear him."

Indeed, as entertaining as it was to listen to from a safe distance, it did shed new light for us upon the Momzo affair—leading us to wonder if any mother, regardless of how naggy, really deserves to be sprayed in spittle as her purple-faced son barks, "YOUR DEMANDS FOR HANDOUTS ARE FUCKING DISTRACTING ME FROM MY BOWTIE-FASHIONING DUTIES. WE'RE FUCKING DONE FAMILIALY, MUM. I WANT YOU OFF MY FUCKING BIRTH CERTIFICATE. DO I WALK INTO YOUR CLOWN PARTIES AND TRASH YOUR FUCKING PIES? I'M GONNA FUCKING FLOWER-SQUIRT YOUR ASS..." for four mortifying minutes.

• Christian Bale's mother 'upset' by tape of star's rant [Guardian]

• Christian Bale's on-set blow up will probably hurt his Oscar chances. If that director of photography thought he got a bad tongue lashing before, just wait until Bale loses an Academy Award on his account. [Scoop]
• Tom Cruise doesn't understand why all these rude Brazilians just stare at him when he says "hola" and "gracias."In fact he's starting to think Brazil is the snootiest province in all of Mexico. [P6]
• John Cleese on his former Monty Python pals: "One of them's alright - the little guy who does the very boring travel programmes (Michael Palin)... but the others are awful." [Daily Star]
• In Hollywood, if you invite Paris Hilton to a civilized party, you have to grovel for forgiveness if she actually shows up. [P6]
• Britney Spears' dad really wants the singer's former manager in jail, for drugging her. [Sun]
• Lindsay Lohan does not ride in economy class. Well, she didn't, but things change. [Mirror]

· Look, Shane Hurlbut interrupted the emotional lynchpin of the entire Terminator Salvation story! Now people who dress up as its characters for Halloween might wind up looking totally ridiculous.
· "Penn. Rourke Hathaway. Streep. We're on a first name basis." Um...are you sure about that, LAT?
· Vanity Fair gets a sneak peek at NBC's fall schedule.
· "Goddamnit, Shirl—Nazi zombies again! Traffic's gonna be backed up for miles. Better call your mom."
· Wired counts down the Top 10 Celebrity Rants Caught on Tape.
· Dancing with the Stars casting rumor: Denise Richards and Steve-O. Two more reasons not to watch!
· Well, lookee here: Bikini Girl rides again.
· And because we can't resist: one more Bale mashup, this time with seminal Disney newsboy musical, Newsies.

Well, they say if you stick around in Hollywood long enough, your biggest liability will eventually turn into your most bankable asset. (Actually they don't say that, but they should.) It certainly was Aggro Batman's case, as his fist-shaking haranguing of Japanese passersby who snap his photo but fail to produce the customary $5 donation have now brought new levels of verisimilitude to his ill-tempered characterization. [YouTube]

Still, the mashups keep coming, and like the completists that we are, we feel the need to share them with you.

In Bale Vs. O'Reilly, the two highly combustible alpha-males square off over a minor miscommunication regarding the phrase "to play us out." It ends predictably, with O'Reilly accusing Batman of un-Americanism for refusing to incorporate the U.S. flag into his costume.

In He's Just Not That Fucking Into You Because You're Fucking Distracting, the tough-love phrase gets a little tougher. Read the signs, girl! He's practically spitting on you!

In Christian Bale Vs. Lily Tomlin, the original foul-mouthed set-tyrant is pitted against the new heavyweight tantrum champion of the world. She really does manage to hold her own.

Before you get upset, let me clarify. I mean ugly people. People who like to imagine that the (unending!!!!!) struggle between members of the opposite sex (the gay people are just cute little helpers in this movie's world, like forks and spoons from Beauty and the Beast) is quantifiable and universal. Here's a hint: it's not! And even the doggishly handsome Justin Long can't boil the whole gurgling circus down to a safe little o.b. size. So why are you spending money on the stupid movie, an act which tangentially involves giving Greg Behrendt money. You don't want to do that.

Anyway, the clip is very funny. Because the word "fuck" is funny and because all of the people in this movie need to be yelled at, for hours.

[via Vulture]

Working off insider knowledge of what happened that fateful day on the Salvation set (we think?: "I know this because I happen to be somewhere where someone that was there that day and for the shoot is"), Knowles goes on to explain that DP Shane Hurlbut is a "light tweaker"— but not in the Andy Dick sense:

He's a fairly young DP and likes to fiddle with his lights on set during action, which is a big "NO NO" on most productions unless worked out in advance with performers...The scene in question, was a very emotional and tough scene between Christian Bale and Bryce Howard. A scene that required soul bearing and a deep level of immersive concentration...a painful scene with Bryce, what was described to me as being the emotional center of the film and his character for the film. [...]

Now, the reason I know all of this is because the person that was there, felt that it should be made perfectly clear that Christian Bale was the utmost gentleman and cool guy on set. And the DP really was doing something that professional DPs with experience just don't do. Not during a performance.

Thankfully, this stinging indictment doesn't lead into a personal recollection of the time Knowles was beaten with a butter-churn for not molesting his sister.

As persuasive as that was, we now present a witness for the prosecution, who paints quite a different picture. Former Bale assistant Harrison Cheung spoke to Inside Edition about his former boss:

Cheung: He's got a very bad temper….I think he can be extremely hot-headed…you know, he's over 6-1 and he could be very intimidating… Christian is a very prickly professional... He was always very deep in thought and he didn't wanna be disturbed. And if he heard any unusual noises or if someone asked him to move around too many times, you could tell he was getting irritated. The big "Do Not Disturb" sign was on his forehead.

IE’s Les Trent: Are you concerned that your talking will be seen as a betrayal to him?

Harrison Cheung: I've been loyal to Christian for a long time, and when he and I worked together I kept that trust. I no longer work with him so it's a different situation now.

Yes, we'd imagine he doesn't. If a light tweaker gets that kind of verbal dressing down, we can only imagine what the personal assistant who sells you out to Inside Edition has waiting for him upon his morning latte delivery.

• Why AICN Doesn't Post Links To Stories Like This Christian Bale thing that's everywhere! [AICN]
• Christian Bale's Former Assistant Sets the Record Straight [Inside Edition]

Knowles claims that the wicked cinematographer was "light tweaking," moving lights during the filming, which is a big no no on fancy movie sets. And Bale, well he was filming "the emotional center of the film and his character for the film." Right. The big, all-important emotional center of a film about evil killer future robots that is directed by a man named McG. (Also, it has the word "Terminator" in the title.) Thus the cinematographer, Shane Hurlbut (heh), deserved to be horribly berated at length for distracting the normally zen-like Bale. Hm.

We know that there are always two sides to every story, and they're not always fairly or equally represented, but come on. The proof is in the word pudding. Bale hurling off a string of fucks while calling someone else unprofessional is... lame. Even lamer is a blogger-type trying to ride the counterculture wave and suck up to this "coolest dude ever!!" of action stars by essentially saying "we know, the little people always get in the way, don't they?" Knowles says that he has inside information from the set that Bale was the "utmost gentleman" for the duration of the shoot. Until, you know, he said fuck eighteen times in thirty seconds.

Knowles later shut down comments on the site, because it really shouldn't be up for debate. This was a private, sad moment:

Can you imagine cameras documenting your every attempted private moment. This moment was something that occurred in the heat of a moment on set between professionals. The audio is so clear on Christian, that it's obvious a mike was on him or a foot and a half above him. These are the sorts of moments that are private affairs. Yet somehow, because he's an actor. We feel it's permissable to air his dirty laundry. It isn't our business. It isn't anybody's fucking business.

That ought to win you some free passes or some sweet merch, Harry!

Our favorite sentence in the little hand-wringing apologia has to be the explanation of how Knowles came across his insider info:

I know this because I happen to be somewhere where someone that was there that day and for the shoot is.

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN???