Pat Robertson, great Jesus-like man:

So you are dealing with not a religion. You're dealing with a political system. And I think we should treat it as such and treat its adherences as such as we would members of the Communist Party or members of some fascist group.

Can you top that, bearded Forbes columnist Tunku Varadarajan?

[We] must ask whether we are confronting a new phenomenon of violent rage, one we might dub—disconcertingly—"Going Muslim." This phrase would describe the turn of events where a seemingly integrated Muslim-American—a friendly donut vendor in New York, say, or an officer in the U.S. Army at Fort Hood—discards his apparent integration into American society and elects to vindicate his religion in an act of messianic violence against his fellow Americans.

Not the friendly donut vendor!

The difference between "going postal," in the conventional sense, and "going Muslim," in the sense that I suggest, is that there would not necessarily be a psychological "snapping" point in the case of the imminently violent Muslim; instead, there could be a calculated discarding of camouflage—the camouflage of integration—in an act of revelatory catharsis.

Yes, I've heard of cases of Muslims shedding their "American" skins like so many reptilian aliens from 'V.' Provocative point, Respectable Columnist Tunku Varadarajan. Vote for your favorite outrage now!

[Pic via]

Or for any men or women in a lifelong, chaste same-sex relationships! Be you The Golden Girls, Penn & Teller, Jay & Silent Bob, Laverne and Shirley, or Martin Scorsese and Leonardo DiCaprio, you now have the official blessing of the Lutheran Church to be bros for life.

(N.B.: Despite the word "evangelical" these are the mainline Protestant Prairie Home Companion Lutherans.)

Wolverton's style is familiar to everyone—whether you saw his original bad-acid-trip stylings in MAD, or any of the scores of later cartoonists influenced by him. It would have been hard to imagine then, when he was whipping the ideals of Ozzie and Harriet with a rusty bike chain, that he'd become a darling of the art world half a century later.

But here he is, with a retrospective show at the Barbara Gladstone Gallery in Chelsea, being dubbed "The Van Gogh of Gross-Out" by the New York Times. His mama would be proud. As would Jesus:

A devout churchgoer, he hoped to be remembered for his Bible illustrations, not his cartoons.

His series of apocalyptic images are...memorable. Christians are the freakiest ones of all!
[NYT]

For the fornicators:

For the gays:

Can we just nip this whole spinoff trend in the bud?

Advertising was historically seen as kind of lowbrow for the work of GOD, but now, what with the atheists attacking and the shitty economy making people long for some salvation, churches are taking advantage of the chance to land new recruits. Right here in New York, the modern-day Gomorrah!

“I think advertising is simply a technique; it’s value neutral,” [religious man who advertises] said. “It can be used to exploit, or it can be used to promote positive messages.”

And what this campaign is selling “is certainly more of an enduring product than the latest potato chip,” he added.

Even Pringles? That's debatable.
[NYT. See the whole quirky campaign here]

He told us a little about the project on a beer run last week, but when we saw the Guardian mentioned that his version would include a Jesus who "will perform gay marriages," (which they got from this interview on Rumpus), we asked James to please elaborate.

The book, he says, will be about "my idea of what the Messiah would be like if he were walking the streets of New York today," adding:

I think most of the fundamental and evangelical Christians in this country would be revolted by him. He'd endorse gay marriage, a woman's right to choose what they do with their bodies, a individual's right to love any other individual, regardless of gender. I believe he'd dismiss much of the supernatural silliness in the Bible; the universe being created in a week, angels with wings flying around like superheroes, a bearded God with a thundering voice.

Frey hasn't signed a deal for his book — and after the scandal of A Million Little Pieces there aren't as many publishers jumping to buy his stuff — so he's no doubt looking to stir up controversy. To that end, he added, "Obviously the book will be fiction, just as I believe much, if not all, of the first two books of the Bible were fiction."

But still, first Frey pissed off Oprah's audience, which is most of America, and now he's trying to piss off the Christians—which is the rest of America. There will be nobody left to buy his books!

MetaFilter user nickskye actually looked up the lead singer of Sonseed, Sal Polichetti, and called him up. They are no hoax, says Sal (who also sent Idolator a kind of nasty letter saying the same thing earlier this month):

The band got together around 1979/1980, kind of an accident through a friend, Joseph, connected with Our Lady of Perpetual Help in Brooklyn, they all met, played for Pentecost Sunday. They kept in touch, met, prayed for an hour, all Catholic. It was quite innovative at that time, no Catholic rock music then. How he wrote the songs, the band members took hymnals, added guitar solos and drum solos, ended up doing local concerts at churches and schools, never took a dime. 18 to 20 rotating performers at one time.

This is a heartening story of a viral hit that turns out to be not viral, but real. And about Jesus! Watch it in wonderment once again:

[Metafilter]

Aaron Sorkin admits that he cribbed this speech from an anonymous e-mail forward; using archaic laws about mildew and dietary restrictions to discredit the Bible as a source of guidance is an old strategy thoroughly worked over by apologists and skeptics. Dobson has not-altogether-ludicrous defenses of why the Bible's condemnation of homosexuality still applies, and why unborn babies are still babies with a right to life.

But to those of us who don't believe the Bible, digging up weird Old Testament laws makes a damn fun argument. It's just a little too bold to make when you're courting a majority of the American population.

So could Obama be forced to talk about this? Could he give a speech on religion that would rival his speech on race? Or will he avoid admitting that his brand of Christianity is still a little too liberal for most of America?

The Vision Forum: Patriarchy Weirdness Exposed [The Ministry Watchmen]