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Christina Aguilera

the new economy

Proven By Science: Baby Richie Cuter Than Baby Aguilera

Say what you will about Nicole Richie, but the bitch has good return on investment. People magazine snagged pictures of her "perfect" baby at the discounted rate of $1 million. The little bundle of joy is on track to sell 1.8 million copies. Christina Aguilera, who sold pictures of her precious angel Max for $1.5 million, sold only an estimated 1.3 million copies. Guess that settles whose baby is loved more.

You're Fired! Busty blonde belter Christina Aguilera will let you know when she's irrationally angry at you. By firing you. That's what she did to her PR people, manager, and assistant when the issue of People magazine that featured her and her new baby on the cover did not sell well. What exactly do these people have to do with magazine sales (especially the assistant)? Wasn't it their job to get her on the cover, not sell the magazine? They even managed to get a her a mind-boggling $1.5 million for the shoot, which is way above industry standard. Oh Christina! You so crazy. But, what can we do? A girl wants what a girl wants. [Crazy Days and Nights]

christina aguilera

Giving You Baby Max, For $1.5m

Here are the first pictures of Baby Max, newborn son of singer, Christina Aguilera. Awww, isn't he cute? And he'd better be: People, part of Time Inc.'s struggling magazine group, outbid checkbook-wielding OK! for the photos. The price: an budget-busting $1.5m, we hear. So buy the magazine, or Max will be the last alpha offspring you ever see. (Read here why there's been such inflation in the price of celebrity baby snaps.)

exclusive

How Much Is Your Baby Worth?

More than ever, that's the answer. Time Inc's People Magazine has secured the first pictures of Nicole Richie's baby, Harlow. The winning bid: $1m, according to someone who participated in the auction. Which is a useful sum for the anorexic former reality star, daughter of singer Lionel Richie. "This is probably Nicole Richie's only paycheck for all of 2008," says the source. Richie's take is impressive, but not as rich a price as that being offered for first photographic evidence of the baby boy born to Christina Aguilera, the singer, earlier this month. We hear that bidding between People and OK! Magazine, which bid $1m earlier this month, has now reached $1.5m. So what economic rationale can there be for such inflation in the cost of baby pictures? More »

sarcasm

Christina Aguilera Is Going to Make A Great Mother!

The Daily Mail just ran this photo of trashy chanteuse Christina Aguilera in Santa Monica, California and uh, she's pregnant!Very pregnant! Also, she's yellow. Also, that dress is really really really really short. And bonus also, can anyone think of a former Mouseketeer who was a good parent?

gossip roundup

Christina Aguilera Is Big With Multi-Child?

  • Christina Aguilera is going to have twins, possibly! [R&M, 2nd item]
  • Socialite Rachel Roy is pregnant, she told Oprah. [Page Six]
  • A former "friend" of Britney Spears is trying to sell her "diaries." No. Maybe Anna Nicole Smith scribbled some things down at some point, but we do not believe that Britney writes words. [R&M, 3rd item]


  • gossip roundup

    Christina Aguilera Is Going To Be The Best Mom

  • Christina Aguilera might be enceinte! Her theoretical zygote can have playdates with Nicole Richie's maybe-fetus! [Page Six]
  • That noted manipulator of the media (seriously, how dare she?) Angelina Jolie is unhappy that Brad Pitt's mom spent part of last weekend hanging out with Jennifer Aniston. [Page Six]
  • "You taught me how to love and how to be a better man," was Al Reynold's toast to Star Jones on the occasion of his birthday. Yeah, sorry about breakfast. [NYO]
  • Lindsay Lohan is going to linger a little longer in rehab because "she is taking [it] very seriously this time." [Page Six]
  • Jim McGreevey and his gay, gay partner are thinking of adopting. [R&M]
  • More »

    stalk of the town

    Christina Aguilera's Husband Is Huge

    The date: June 8th 2007
    The place: 147 Mercer Street
    Sighted: Christina Aguilera and her husband walking out of the Mercer Hotel. She got right into a limo waiting outside and left her husband to put her stuff in the trunk. He is clearly her bitch.
    More »

    divorce

    Gossip Roundup: Media Beats McCartney-Mills Marriage Into Submission

    • Paul McCartney and his second wife, Heather Mills, have announced that they're getting divorced after a whopping 4 years. Naturally, the media is to blame, having made it difficult for the couple to maintain a "normal" relationship. Way to make us into Yoko. [Reuters]
    • Conversely, Nicole Kidman finally confirms that she and Keith Urban are engaged. In her second shot at marriage, Kidman will presumably get laid. [People]
    • In the June issue of GQ, Christina Aguilera tells of an unpleasant interaction with a drunken Mariah Carey. Aguilera's sympathetic, though — she knows Carey's all doped up. [Page Six]
    • The Oakland A's lose to the Yankees because of a waitress named Charity, who got Nick Swisher and Joe Blanton sufficiently wasted at Plumm the night before the game. [R&M]
    • Denis Leary tells Elle that he'd rather shoot himself in the head than sleep with another man. That's fine — Chelsea doesn't need you anyhow! [Lowdown (last item)]
    • OK: Keith Richards is fucking amazing. After a brain hemorrhage, he rebounds enough to resume touring with the Rolling Stones. Nothing can kill this man. [Page Six]

    lewis lapham

    The Literal Harper's Index: May 2003

    Number of "Readings" (short articles at the front of the magazine): 11
    Number of Readings that are verbatim excerpts from publicly available documents, speeches, or instruction manuals: 7
    Number of Readings that are verbatim excerpts from publicly available documents, speeches, or instruction manuals generated by the government: 6
    Number of readings that are taken verbatim from Internet chats, email forwards, or websites: 1
    Number of dead European white men mentioned in editor Lewis Lapham's "Notebook" editorial: 4
    Number of references to European cities in editor Lewis Lapham's "Notebook" editorial: 7
    Number of references to American cities in editor Lewis Lapham's "Notebook" editorial: 4
    Number of references to non-American non-European cities in editor Lewis Lapham's "Notebook" editorial: 0
    Number of times Voltaire is mentioned in editor Lewis Lapham's "Notebook" editorial: 2
    Number of times editor Lewis Lapham uses "Christina Aguilera" and "orgasm" in the same sentence: 1

    peter frampton

    9/11/33.3

    Peter Frampton, the WTC, and Christina Aguilera. We wouldn't put 'em together either, but these (quasi) stream of consciousness essays do. A bit trippy, but oddly fascinating. See also: What if the Spice Girls were midtown skyscrapers?
    9/11/33.3 [OmnitecturalForum via Weisblott]