Ad Age's Nat Ives got Townsend on the phone. So rest easy, remaining Conde staffers: Townsend says there are "zero" mag shutdowns to come. Now all you have to worry about is being laid off in the coming rounds of painful 25% budget cuts at almost every title!

Townsend also said that the shuttering of Gourmet was a financial necessity:

It was operating as a burden. In the middle of this decade it was a profitable business, but having two of those businesses did not help the situation. And the dominant business — particularly with the consumer — is Bon Appetit, which emerged as the considerably stronger business.

Sorry, foodies. Tough times, fancy dies. (And Ruth Reichl's Twitter doesn't make it sound like she's coming back).
[Pic via]

The US economy has contracted at a rate not seen in 80 years, forcing companies across America to adjust to the reality of this major economic setback. Our company and our brands have weathered this storm. However, we are not immune to the effects of the substantial revenue losses resulting from the deep and prolonged recession. Consequently, we must realign Condé Nast to be a successful business in an emerging economy that is now predicted to be painfully slow in recovering.

This is a considerable and complicated task, forcing us to rethink the way we do business in many instances and incorporate efficiencies in every step of our process. Beginning this week, I am dedicating myself and a team of my colleagues to this project. We will work with consultants, including McKinsey & Company, to develop new perspectives on optimizing our approach to business, growing revenues, and enhancing our brand assets. All areas of Condé Nast will be included in the study.

There is no doubt in my mind that the strength of our brands and people will provide us with the opportunity to participate in America's economic recovery. Ensuring our financial health is paramount to our ability to be part of that process.

It's worth noting two things about this new (relatively mild) note of panic that Townsend is sounding. First, remember that up until now, Conde's public attitude towards the recession has been, essentially, that they just needed to wait it out. Five percent cuts are not a true response to a life-threatening economy. Even though—as one Conde exec said—if this economy is "the new normal," the company is pretty much screwed.

More importantly: Conde needs their own money situation to improve soon, if they want to avoid the total obliteration of their company's culture. Since they didn't make serious cuts when the recession first hit, it's safe to say the company needs a strong fourth quarter to try to rescue the year. What does that mean in practical terms? Magazines close a few months in advance, and ad sales have even more lead time. So for Conde to have some hope of limping through the year in one piece, they need their ad page sales to start picking up by this summer. So let's be generous and say they have four to five months to turn things around. Uh, good luck?

[An alternate plan: cut everything to the bone at the first sign of trouble. May prove to be smart!]

Thanks?

CEO Chuck Townsend's memo, via Peter Kafka at All Things Digital, is like one of the vague, color-coded terrorism-threat warnings pioneered by the last Bush Administration. It just kind of lets you know something awful is going to happen:

Unavoidably, as the downturn extends, we have to make additional difficult decisions to manage costs and ensure our financial well-being. These decisions involve all of us.

This kind of undercuts the second paragraph of Townsend's memo, where he says,

Condé Nast is gaining critical ad revenue market share through the early part of 2009. Perhaps more importantly, our consumer connectivity, as measured in key circulation statistics, is particularly strong.

So, to rephrase: "We're kicking so much ass, it's inevitable we'll have to make terrible cuts as things continue to suck, thanks to your world-class work."

That makes about as much sense as selling women a beauty magazine by convincing them they are fundamentally ugly. Ah, wait, now we get it!

UPDATE: Women's Wear Daily quotes sources saying "all [Condé Nast] publishers have been asked to show how they might cut up to 10 percent from their overall budgets, although no specific targets have been set."

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