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No More Conde Nast Mag Deaths, For Now
The Management Consultants Who Will End Condé Nast As We Know It
Conde Nast Needs Good News, Quick
Condé Nast CEO: Be More Afraid
Supermodel-Quarterback Marriage Investigated For Public Good

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If_I_Had_a_Poodle
10/05/09

In reply to No More Conde Nast Mag Deaths, For Now
"foodie" sounds so 90s
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Awesome X
07/20/09

In reply to The Management Consultants Who Will End Condé Nast As We Know It
Translation: "The economy sucks for everyone, but we're still here, so fuck you New York Magazine. But! Things will get suckier and we're going to have to make some changes, i.i. firing most of you. This is painful and it will hurt me more than you. Kidding! This will be a considerable and complicated task, convincing Old Man Newhouse that it's not the fucking '90s anymore. To make this remarkably uncomfortable situation a little easier on my mind and soul, we've contracted with a company that's very name is a slightly warped synonym for fucking people. Take comfort knowing that all of your colleagues have a shot at being fucked in this deal. Well, not Si. Or me, God, no. Take comfort also in knowing that Conde Nast will survive because we are awesome, with or without you. Best, Chuck."
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sirjohnoldcastle
07/20/09

In reply to The Management Consultants Who Will End Condé Nast As We Know It
The speed with which this was delivered makes me suspect that most of the Conde Nastees spend their days hitting refresh, which is something McKinsey will quickly put an end to.
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AdrienneAgdistis
07/20/09

In reply to The Management Consultants Who Will End Condé Nast As We Know It
Feelings about McKinsey aside, most big corporations /are/ greatly overstaffed. Most media companies need to have fewer managers, more content producers in the new world where you get paid for actual quality / volume of content and not just delivering a big glossy phonebook of ads onto readers' doorsteps once a month.
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Nick Denton
07/20/09

In reply to The Management Consultants Who Will End Condé Nast As We Know It
This sounds like a triumph of the business side of Conde Nast. They've been telling people privately that the company has to change how it does business: that the lavish advertising of recent years is never coming back and the costs need to fall commensurately.

But is 81-year-old owner Si Newhouse -- famous for indulging his editors -- really going to confront the editors he's coddled for so long? I bet the hiring of McKinsey is a device by Townsend and Carey and co to force the old man into the decisions he's so reluctant to make. When presented by some report saying 30% of the positions at Conde Nast are unnecessary, it will be impossible to withstand the pressure for further economies.
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Matt Cherette
07/20/09

@Nick Denton: My guess is that McKinsey is going to give them the ammo. they need to confront Newhouse, and that he's going to (out of necessity) give the go-ahead for widespread staff cuts while simultaneously assuring the editors that nothing will personally change for them -- just that they'll have less people to bark those indulgent orders at.
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Edited by Matt Cherette at 07/20/09 5:52 PM Matt Cherette was starred Matt Cherette was unstarred

Gabriel Snyder
07/20/09

@Nick Denton: I don't think Si Newhouse has any interest in owning a magazine publisher unless it can also be the most glamorous one. The force he's protected his free-spending star editors from is the marketplace, not his business team. If Condé is now going to become a business, it's a sign that Si simply doesn't care anymore.
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BadUncle
07/20/09

@Nick Denton: Newhouse will embrace death's sweet release, or garlic in his food, before he ever accepts the death of print, and the migration of his titles to digital distribution.
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DennyCrane
07/20/09

@Gabriel Snyder: So does that mean if he can't run the outfit the way he wants, he might sell the whole kit and caboodle?
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Liberace
07/20/09

@Gabriel Snyder: well maybe he should just light all of his money on fire? that will show the world.

i suspect that many of his star editors will actually cotton to the idea of occasional car service and a smaller expense account than none at all.

i admire the way Si ran things, but it's over now.
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BookishLookish
07/20/09

@DennyCrane: Or be shoved out. Watch and see.
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FormerEnglishMajor
07/20/09

@Gabriel Snyder: Could it be a sign that he no longer wants to hemorrhage money, since the newspaper side (which historically subsidized the mags) is no longer a cash cow? My initial thought was that he knows he has to make big layoffs, but didn't want to be the one who suggests them. This way he can still be the Big Picture/Magazines Are My Life guy while letting McKinsey do all that piddling execution (pun intended) stuff.
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ifstone
07/22/09

@FormerEnglishMajor: Didn't Geithner, while doing the photo shoot for his cover story for the final issue of Portfolio, give Conde Nast some advice on how to dispose of its toxic assets? At Conde's current burn rate, how long would the launch cost of Portfolio have lasted them?

Can't the owner of Wired magazine figure out the web yet? I'd pay for some New Yorker articles that I currently get for free. At least Malcolm Gladwell is doing scathing reviews of Chris Anderson's "Free."
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Motoko Kusanagi
07/20/09

In reply to The Management Consultants Who Will End Condé Nast As We Know It
McKinsey. The Quarterly never fails amaze me, and the consultants never fail to underwhelm.
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Astigmatism
07/20/09

In reply to The Management Consultants Who Will End Condé Nast As We Know It
A cousin of mine is a McKinsey consultant whose first job was looking for "efficiencies" at a company by interviewing people to find out what their jobs entailed. After a few days, his partner turns to him and says: "You know what we are? We're the Bobs."
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DahlELama
07/20/09

@Astigmatism: That might actually be worse than looking back and realizing you've become your mother.
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Cynical Media Bitch
07/20/09

@Astigmatism: If it took him a few days to realize that, he's slow enough to be a McKinsey consultant. I think I would have figured that out by lunch on the first day at the latest.
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m4ximusprim3
07/20/09

@Cynical Media Bitch: I would have asked the person who interviewed me "so, I'm a Bob, right?"

Just to get it out of the way up front, you know?
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Lymed
07/20/09

In reply to The Management Consultants Who Will End Condé Nast As We Know It
It's because they didn't actually purchase Jezebel that April 1 so many years ago
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FormerEnglishMajor
07/20/09

In reply to The Management Consultants Who Will End Condé Nast As We Know It
Every single company I've had contact with who's hired McKinsey has used the final report as the curtain to hide behind when they fire everyone. "They said we we were overstaffed and needed to cut costs to remain competitive".

edited to add:ah - the memo lays the groundwork already: "Ensuring our financial health is paramount to our ability to be part of that process"

Our financial health is not compatible with your continued employment
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Edited by FormerEnglishMajor at 07/20/09 5:20 PM FormerEnglishMajor was starred

depardoo
07/20/09

@FormerEnglishMajor:

After the Enron debacle, The New Yorker did a great long piece on the culture of McKinsey at Enron. My experience is the same as yours.
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The Recession Is Over
07/21/09

@depardoo: What are the odds that the job of anyone who touched that story has become redundant?
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depardoo
07/20/09

In reply to The Management Consultants Who Will End Condé Nast As We Know It
This is definitely the beginning of the end.
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Tattertotter
07/20/09

@depardoo: Oh I don't know about that--just got off the phone, still can't get into the goddamn Waverly or Monkey Bar for 6 months. Maybe I should call back in two weeks . . .
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BookishLookish
07/20/09

@depardoo: The end of dead wood at Vogue, etc.? Hallelujah, brother. Tonne Goodman, I'm looking at you.
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the rzo
03/06/09

In reply to Conde Nast Needs Good News, Quick
I'm looking forward to Conde folding Vanity Fair into the New Yorker, publishing branded issues, and watching their revenue increase by 20%. It probably wouldn't work for them, since Si isn't easy on the eyes the way Denton is.
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Smitros
03/06/09

@the rzo:

But how would he look with pancakes?
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badasscat
03/06/09

In reply to Conde Nast Needs Good News, Quick
If this economy is the "new normal", then the entire country is pretty much screwed. Because we're losing 650,000 jobs per month here. Do the math.

People who are calling this the "new normal" are basically saying that we're on an inevitable path to full unemployment and a total collapse of all that we know. They're saying we're going back to living in caves.

Eventually the economy will stop shrinking. Whether or not it grows much after that is another question, but if a shrinking economy was the "new normal", then we are all totally doomed, not just Conde Nast. And I don't mean "I have to learn to subsist on macaroni and cheese while I look for a job" doomed, I mean "I have to learn to catch my own food and make my own fire to cook it because grocery stores and food processing plants don't exist anymore" doomed.
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aurora*raby
03/06/09

@badasscat: Does being more self-sufficient necessarily mean that we're doomed. BTW, I love your statement.
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BookishLookish
03/06/09

In reply to Conde Nast Needs Good News, Quick
From the Conde Nast website: "They [readers] come to our pages and Web sites knowing they will be engaged by the leading minds of our time: writers, editors, contributors and artists who share their passions and who bring them to The Point of Passion."

Read: Hand jobs from sales reps could solve a lot of Conde Nast's problems.
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jiminy.peep
03/06/09

@BookishLookish: Bookish, I've noticed that you've been mentioning hand jobs quite a bit lately. R u coming on 2 me? I am n 2 it...
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BookishLookish
03/06/09

@jiminy.peep: Forgot your meds this morning?
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saythatscool
03/06/09

In reply to Conde Nast Needs Good News, Quick
In an unrelated story, Nick went over to Sheila's house last night and kicked her in the vagina "for good measure." Facebook then made a $300 million offer for Jezebel.
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resipsaloquacious
03/06/09

I can't wait until Gawker brings Jezzie and Deadspin under its own banner.

Oh, sweet jesus the commenting wars will be sublime.@saythatscool:
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saythatscool
03/06/09

@resipsaloquacious: In the commie wars, the original Judge Smails will return with the four horsemen and the lamb will burn the world. Julia Allison is the White Conquest. Balk is Red War. Sheila is Famine Black, natch. Richard is Green Death. I will be declared a false prophet and res, you will know fear.
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resipsaloquacious
03/06/09

You would think the commie wars would have a pink(o) horseman. And with all due respect, I believe JA would be well suited for that role, riding side-saddle, of course.@saythatscool:
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saythatscool
03/06/09

@resipsaloquacious: Agreed. Hortense will be declared the whore of babylon and will demand the head of Pope John Peeps.
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DeadliestSin
03/06/09

In reply to Condé Nast CEO: Be More Afraid
I get simmilar memos from the head of the media conglomertate I work for in canada- lots of words, not much said.
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DeadliestSin
03/06/09

@DeadliestSin: Which has rendered me incapable of spelling, sorry.
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phlox✔
03/06/09

DeadliestSin: I would have just pretended that the spelling was different up there . Everything else is (in a nicer & icier way, though).
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DeadliestSin
03/07/09

@phlox✔: This is true.
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