cigarettes - Gawker

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raincoaster
11/16/09

In reply to The Inalienable Right to Smoke
There's a guy who watches porn on his laptop all day long at the cafe near my house. But he goes outside to smoke. #cigarettes
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SaraRueful
11/16/09

In reply to The Inalienable Right to Smoke

That kid in the picture quit smoking. Today?

(apologies, it [my mac? firefox? gawker?] won't let me upload the photo from my desktop.) #cigarettes
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SaraRueful
11/16/09

@SaraRueful: (Never mind that last part. Phew.) #cigarettes
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randomnessish
11/16/09

In reply to The Inalienable Right to Smoke
My college tried to surreptitiously ban smoking throughout campus. Luckily, we're not some namby-pamby fey northern liberal arts school; we're a motherfucking southern school with real live frats where people get drunk and nonsmokers smoke, and true red-blooded Americans won't stand for any a' that gay mothering shit.

No, but seriously, I'm glad I can saunter around campus with my cigarette looking super cool and annoying the hell out of all the tour groups and parents behind me.
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Edited by randomnessish at 11/16/09 3:59 PM randomnessish was starred randomnessish was unstarred

manchops
11/16/09

In reply to The Inalienable Right to Smoke
You know what Im ready for? The FAT TAX. I'm so sick of all the whining about smokers and drinkers and now sex addicts and whatevs. When are we gonna deal with the fact that our country is stuffing food down its gullet like there's no tomorrow--talk about self-medicating!

Put me in coach on a plane, or on a crowded subway or elevator or, hell, just sharing a sidewalk, with the skinny-assed smoker as opposed to the person taking up the physical space for two or even three of us!

There, I said it--now I'm sure I'm gonna get smacked around for it--so bring it! #cigarettes
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hamburgerhotdog
11/16/09

@manchops: They did try to do a tax on oversized umbrellas (eg, golf ones) figuring obese people used them and would thus be taxed but honestly, taxing umbrellas?! #cigarettes
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RunawayPancake
11/16/09

@manchops:
What about us fat, hard-drinking smokers? #cigarettes
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Tchotchke
11/16/09

@manchops: As an incredibly tiny woman, who commutes, I am absolutely sick and tired of the fact that the largest person on the train ALWAYS zeros in on me because they figure that they'll have more space. It's politically incorrect to complain, I know that, but when you don't even have the space allotted to you because someone else saw an opportunity, your sympathy wanes. #cigarettes
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allyzay
11/16/09

@hamburgerhotdog: OK, they should just BAN those things. Not tax them. Straight up ban them because wtf @ a giant umbrella. Are you a mobile circus needing a movable tent? No? Then use a normal umbrella. #cigarettes
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KikiCanuck
11/16/09

@manchops: Today on spot the difference... Secondhand smoke and secondhand fat aren't really comparable. Someone being fat in your general vicinity will not make you fatter. Quite the opposite, according to all the women who deliberately choose fat bridesmaids (P.S. we're on to you.) Breathing in someone else's smoke, on the other hand, can totally make you sick, or make you cough, or make you into an annoying person who clears their throat theatrically and "whispers" about disgusting habits and how they're allergic to smoke.
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Edited by KikiCanuck at 11/16/09 4:44 PM KikiCanuck was starred KikiCanuck was unstarred

SaraRueful
11/16/09

@hamburgerhotdog: I used to commute from Greenwich CT (nonresident) to NYC every day and there were plenty of golf umbrellas on the platform -- and on the sidewalks of NYC-- when it rained. Held by average-sized, white, upper-class Wall Street pricks who never put down their cell phones. Maybe it's different in other parts of the country. #cigarettes
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Go Like Hell Machine
11/16/09

@KikiCanuck: Though, you could make an argument that obesity contributes to much, much higher social cost (hell, even the fucking military is complaining about this - I don't see them saying a damn thing about smokers). I'm not really going to make this argument, but it's there to make. #cigarettes
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Go Like Hell Machine
11/16/09

@RunawayPancake: I salute you! #cigarettes
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Spirit Fingers
11/16/09

In reply to The Inalienable Right to Smoke
Just curious, do smokers like the smell of smoke when not smoking? I mean is it so delicious you could spread it on cinnamon toast? Honestly do they not think it's absolutely heinous?

'Cause when recently house hunting I walked into a home of two older folks who were both chainsmoking simultaneously. Okay. But their house smelled like shit covered tobacco. No, seriously. It smelled like there was a huge load in the front hall covered with cigarette ash that was smashed and smeared into every exposed surface that existed. These people were literally living in a noxious pit of cancer coated fog, and I was beyond pissed that my clothes smelled like impending emphysema after leaving.

So, yeah, what the hell is the resale value on a house made of tar? #cigarettes
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snugbug
11/16/09

@Spirit Fingers: I'm a pretty passionate smoker, but never smoke inside my own house. The way smoke has a way of tainting material objects turns me off. Big time. Luckily, I've always had a porch/balcony to indulge my filthy addiction. That being said, I find a man who smells faintly of tobacco--and cigarette-flavored kisses--very exciting. #cigarettes
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Swifter
11/16/09

@Spirit Fingers: A couple fingers of single malt scotch and a nice Padron torpedo make a wonderful taste sensation. Once a month. #cigarettes
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Spirit Fingers
11/16/09

@snugbug: and @Swifter: Urg, no. I'd rather use my tongue to swab cheek cells with a desert yak. Seriously. If you're sucking on what I can only describe as wet cow dung rolled in paper and lit on fire...yeah you can't be within a hundred yards of me. However, a good spicy old man pipe smells like Christmas and yule log. That I could smell wrapped in Egg Nog and rum cake all year. Go fig. #cigarettes
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BadUncle
11/16/09

@Spirit Fingers: How do you feel about a good, spicy old man? #cigarettes
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flossy
11/16/09

@Spirit Fingers: Nobody really likes the smell of smoke, but if you're a seasoned smoker in an environment where smoking is the norm, you don't really smell it at all.

My apartment (in which my boyfriend and I both smoke) surely reeks, but we're pretty much conditioned not to notice it. It's sort of like how you rarely notice how your own pets smell, but other people's pets invariably stink... #cigarettes
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Spirit Fingers
11/16/09

@BadUncle: and @flossy: A good spicy old man is grand unless that spice is coming fromunda the arm or balls. Then not so much.

Sooo, flossy, I guess it's all cool, unless you intend to have guests over and since there's no litter box to clean, you just turn up the glade plug in, burn a little patchouli incense and create the essence of tobacco roses and singed monkey butt to mask the smell of spoiled carcinogens. To hell with you Martha Stewart and your potpourri globes! We've got burnt hair and car emissions! (Heh. I kid.) #cigarettes
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KikiCanuck
11/16/09

@flossy: It's funny, I smoked for a long time, and never really noticed the smell of other people smoking, for good or for bad. However, when I was in the (long, horrible) process of quitting, if I so much as walked by a smoker on the street, the smell of tobacco was so pungent and enticing to me that it was all I could do not to pry their mouths open, unhinge my jaw, and devour the cigarette residue from their tongue and teeth. I was the Edward fucking Cullen of cigarettes. I never knew I could react to smell so powerfully - go figure. #cigarettes
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NewsBunny
11/16/09

@flossy: I used to smoke two packs of Malboro Lights a day. And for about a year after I quit, I LOVED the smell of cigarette smoke. I went outside with the smokers to enjoy the aroma.

Now, I don't. Cigarette smoke now triggers my migraines.

It's been ten years -- but I still have dreams....where I'm walking down the street, lighting one delicious Malboro Light after another, and smoking and smoking and smoking... #cigarettes
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lostarchitect
11/16/09

In reply to The Inalienable Right to Smoke
I don't smoke, but I really do miss the smoke in bars. #cigarettes
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snugbug
11/16/09

@lostarchitect: Yes. The clouds of smoke refracted typical bar dim lighting in a way that flattered everyone. #cigarettes
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Pick-me-a-winner
11/16/09

@snugbug: Also, it was easy to identify who had an oral fixation and who didn't. Wink wink awoooooooogah #cigarettes
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Wenceslaus
11/16/09

@lostarchitect: I don't miss having to Febreze my hair after coming back from bars, though. #cigarettes
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Baroness
11/16/09

In reply to The Inalienable Right to Smoke
I only smoke in museums. #cigarettes
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Go Like Hell Machine
11/16/09

@Baroness: I stick to hospitals. #cigarettes
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iplaudius
11/16/09

In reply to The Inalienable Right to Smoke
If you don’t own the apartment, the landlord can set the terms, no? Like having pets? (Sorry, boring comment.) #cigarettes
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Go Like Hell Machine
11/16/09

@iplaudius: You know, I'm a pretty heavy smoker and think landlords are perfectly within their rights in banning people from smoking inside their apartments. I don't know about NYC, but in a lot of places I've lived in, this is pretty routine if you rent a house, duplex or townhouse.

However, the sidewalk outside? That's fucking ridiculous.
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Edited by Go Like Hell Machine at 11/16/09 5:27 PM

bytememehard
11/16/09

In reply to The Inalienable Right to Smoke
Do these No Smoking in Your House rules apply to da ganja, too? #cigarettes
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zombies.like.lattés.too
11/16/09

@bytememehard: I'm not certain it would. Unless you got caught in the act of smoking, there would really be no way to tell. Cigarette smoke smell lingers much, much longer than cannabis smoke. #cigarettes
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allyzay
11/16/09

@zombies.like.lattés.too: Seriously? Of course it would apply and also you'd run the risk of arrest if one of your nosy neighbors who hate cigarette smoke catches wind of it - way to take a joke comment by someone else and make it something confusing and weird! Also, please pot smokers: stop kidding yourself that that shit doesn't linger cos it totally does even if you put the towel down by the door crack and everything. Everyone in the building can tell. #cigarettes
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bytememehard
11/16/09

In reply to The Inalienable Right to Smoke
Hell: Smoke 'em if you got 'em.
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Edited by bytememehard at 11/16/09 2:24 PM bytememehard was starred bytememehard was unstarred

Swifter
11/16/09

In reply to The Inalienable Right to Smoke
The boys like to play poker at my place because I allow the occasional cigar, which their wives abhor. Opening the windows for an hour and frying some tasty bacon takes care of the hideous after-smell. #cigarettes
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lostarchitect
11/16/09

@Swifter: You see? Bacon really DOES fix everything! Except obesity. #cigarettes
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Swifter
11/16/09

@lostarchitect: Not true. If I eat a 400 calorie breakfast of cereal, juice and tea with milk and sugar I'm hungry at 11:00am. In contrast, if I have 4 pieces of bacon, 2 eggs, and 1/2 a dry muffin it is also 400 calories, but I'm good until 1pm. #cigarettes
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lostarchitect
11/16/09

@Swifter: Hmm... you may be on to something. #cigarettes
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son of spam
11/16/09

@Swifter: In contrast, if I have 4 pieces of bacon, 2 eggs, and 1/2 a dry muffin it is also 400 calories, but I'm good until my mid-50's.

/fixed #cigarettes
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Swifter
11/16/09

@son of spam: I can see how you would feel that way after a lifetime of living under Spam, but like O Negative blood, Bacon is the universal flavor type. #cigarettes
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son of spam
11/16/09

@Swifter: So as an O Negative, am I tasty like bacon or fried like bacon? #cigarettes
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Swifter
11/16/09

@son of spam: Looking at your profile picture, I'd have to say the latter. #cigarettes
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Mrs. Beeton
11/16/09

In reply to The Inalienable Right to Smoke
I'm a smoker, but don't smoke in my apartment, mostly because I don't want the smell in all of my clothes and all of my furniture. But when smoking friends come over to smoke, I whip out the ashtrays and go to town. It's called being polite.

Also, a couple of my neighbors smoke indoors. Sometimes I can smell it. Sometimes I smell their weed, too. It's not a big deal. It's just living in close proximity to other human beings.

The vast majority of bars/clubs in my town are nonsmoking. Lots of my nonsmoker friends think it's great, so they don't come home smelling like cigarettes. Instead they go home smelling like sweat and booze. I don't think it's a step up. Bars are for smoking and booze and vice.

Sidewalks, too? Fuck that. #cigarettes
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DahlELama
11/16/09

In reply to The Inalienable Right to Smoke
I despise cigarettes but even I must agree with this list. I may personally enjoy that smoking is pretty much verboten everywhere, but that doesn't mean I don't know that not being able to smoke in your own freakin apartment is the biggest bunch of BS ever. #cigarettes
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The One
11/16/09

@DahlELama: It's a little draconian, but after living next to a heavy chainsmoker who not only stunk up my apartment and everything in it, but also woke me up in the middle of the night because the smoke was so much that I was literally coughing and choking in my sleep, I applaud that move.

I think that people should be able to do whatever they want in their apartments as long as it doesn't damage the landlord's property and doesn't interfere with neighbors' right to live in theirs. #cigarettes
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DahlELama
11/16/09

@The One: Yeah, there is that whole "stop being disgusting and also ruining other people's ability to breathe" thing... Really, I just feel bad for people who can't do what makes them happy in their own homes. After all, there aren't any laws against cooking naked while singing along to the radio at the top of your lungs, are there?

No really, are there? Because this could get problematic. #cigarettes
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The One
11/16/09

@DahlELama: No idea. But I'll put up your bail if you get arrested for that! #cigarettes
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mfnher
11/16/09

@DahlELama: @Wenceslaus: [www.foxnews.com] #cigarettes
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DahlELama
11/16/09

@mfnher: Man, that sucks. #cigarettes
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AndPreciousLittleofThat
11/16/09

In reply to The Inalienable Right to Smoke
I am 100% okay with no smoking in apartments, if that's what the landlord wants. They have the right to keep out pets; why not cigarettes? Both have the potential to eat through much more than a security deposit when a tenant moves out.

However, I also recognize that this is another in a long list of completely unenforceable rules, like not talking on your cell while driving. #cigarettes
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DinaRonson : Elizabeth Cady Stanton
11/16/09

In reply to The Inalienable Right to Smoke
I take umbrage with Any Other Sidewalk. If you are walking with your lit cig - BE AWARE of your surroundings damn it.
I'm tired of the burns on my clothes & hands as I walk past you & your three across slow ass friends. #cigarettes
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D2theMatthews
11/16/09

@DinaRonson : Elizabeth Cady Stanton: Whenever I smoke on the street, I always have my head up and when am I am passing by someone, I turn the cigarette in so as to absorb any burns myself. Also, when near children, I will often cross the street so as to not exhale in their tiny faces. #cigarettes
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