Today's flaccid teenagers are more interested in "gaming" on the computer with their "I-friends" than in smoking cigarettes, traditionally the cool teen pastime of choice. There is at least some burning, noxious silver lining for the tobacco industry.

Edgar Meyer Cullman Sr., a legendary cigar magnate who ran the General Cigar Company, manufacturer of Macanudos and a wide range of cigars, died on Sunday at the age of 93. His Times obituary is great, and he comes from a long line of tobacconists:

The repercussions from October's failed inkjet printer bomb plot are being felt by Cuban cigar aficionados, as the Department of Homeland Security tightens air cargo restrictions. But DHS folks won't enjoy them... the cigars will be "vaporized." Yeah, sure.

The fiendish "government" is trying to ban clove cigarettes. So Big Clove has invented a novel way to fight back: Getting a court to declare that their clove cigarettes are not, in fact, cigarettes. Dude. Come on. Just declare it.

Dude, the government lets cigarettes be legal even though they kill like thousands of people. But weed is illegal. And now, dude, cloves are illegal. Cloves! The taste proves they're not killing you! Clove-smoking hippies are fighting back. With cloves!

Your Press Release of the Day adeptly communicates the fact that fine cigars are all about taste. The taste of Monica Lewinsky's pussy, yea!

Remember when cigars were popular back in the '90s? Good times. It's been nearly a decade since the trend turned to ashes, but a company is now planning to roll out "Mobile Cigar Lounges" which allow 20 people to congregate in an Airstream trailer that resembles that cigar bar you visited in 1997 and never went back…