The first ho we spoke to has a penchant for Jews, and has only recently become aware of the fact that "sex is apparently like so much better with the foreskin." But she does have a little beef with the increased sensitivity of uncut ween. "I cannot deal with that when I am giving head if it takes more than like two minutes. I can barely feel my face. I can't be expected to be gentler than I'm already trying to be to their super sensitive dick. That said, fuck giving head. I'm so good at it it's like, a curse."

Okay! Maybe we need a second slutty opinion. "I've been with three uncut guys and not only are uncut penises cute, but the guys seem to get off better." Amen, sister! And there's also an added perk of that extra skin that we hadn't even thought of! "The other thing about uncut guys? They can do funny things with their dicks to make you laugh. Seriously they can stretch that foreskin out in ways you wouldn't imagine. I 'know' someone who does something called 'the baby bird' and makes the tip of his penis look like a baby bird with its mouth open, looking for a handout." See what you're missing, religious Jews?

But some people don't feel as fondly towards uncircumcision: namely, circumcised dudes. One lady tells us this chilling story: " I only date Jewish guys and they get really upset if you even express the tiniest bit of ambivalence toward the practice. One time I was telling my ex's roommate that I didn't think I'd have my kid circumcised, and he came running down the stairs, pulling his pants up (he had been peeing) yelling 'Over my dead body!!' I still have no idea how he heard me. It was like a sixth sense."

"I'm Jewish. It's my covenant with god to circumcise," a Jew explains. We helpfully pointed out that he is covered in tattoos and does not really practice Judaism so much. "It's not THAT Jewish. That is like the one thing one must do to be Jewish." Whatever, Jewy.

For the last word, we turned to a gay. "I'm against it!" he cried. A second later: "I mean, you know, whatever: cock is cock."

Our pediatrician refused to perform the operation. He recommended a urologist to us. Eight days after Elijah was born, we went to the urologist's office. This is how it works, he said. He would put Elijah on a board and strap down his hands and feet. Then he'd slide a metal ring over the top of the penis, which would cut off the circulation to the foreskin and gradually kill the nerve endings. Over the next week, the foreskin would gradually turn black, and then it would rot off, and then Elijah would be permanently connected to his ancestors.

When Regina called about the procedure, they told her that the doctor used topical anesthetic. That made her feel a little better. When we were actually in the doctor's office, we asked him about that.

"Of course we don't use topical anesthetic," he said. "Everyone knows that stuff doesn't work."

The Unkindest Cut [Salon]
Earlier: Neal Pollack: Spokesman of His Grup-eration
Earlier: State Health Commissioner Bids Adieu to Orthodox Babies With Herpes

Novello Goes Out In Style [Daily Politics]
Earlier: Circumcision May Prevent AIDS, But It Can Give You Herpes

Circumcise This! [Slate]

Earlier: News You Can Use: Mutilated Foreskins

Doctors Say Circumcision Ritual Still Not Safe [Forward via Daily Politics]
Earlier: News You Can Use: Mutilated Foreskins