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New York, 9:55 PM
Wed Dec 2
51 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Spirit Fingers Spirit Fingers
    10/23/09


    Five Actors Who Should Do Sci-Fi and Nothing Else Ever

    So yeah acting’s tough. You get to be paid to make believe you’re someone other than the guy who wore a bolo tie and had Big League chew in your back pocket. Good for you. Now stop acting like we care if you can make a yuppie in Tribeca cry tears of Stanley Kubrick wonderment. Go blow up some friggin aliens or make out with a green minotaur orangutan for the hell of it!

    Sci-Fi made a come back this year or haven’t you guys heard? Don’t fret too much, because most of it sucked. But all could be righted if some of you hitched on the swashbuckle and reentered the fray. But nothing will make us forget Transformers: Rise of the Ridiculous Racist Michael Bay Robot Brain Monsters, ever.

    Nathan Fillion
    Arguably the best thing since Han Solo had a low slung utility belt and swabbed cheek cells with Luke’s incestuous sister lover. Swarthy, smart-mouthed and able to take a good punch. Everything you want in a hero, or a villain with correctable ways.
    Greatest Achievement: Firefly, short-lived series. Serenity, sequel-less film
    Worst acting gig to date: Castle.
    Reason: Awkward balance in show concept. Too close to Law & Order SVU to be original, and too far from Murder She Wrote with testes to be ironic.
    Potential for a return to Sci-Fi: High.
    Reason: The hell else is Joss Whedon doing? Don’t answer that.
    Recommendation: Series with Sci-Fi bent Stat! Movie called Serenity 2...Statter!

    David Duchovny
    The number one "believer" out there. Cryptic, flawed, possibly insane and deranged, but a hell of an investigator. Anyone who can stand up to a "Hokey Pokey" doll and week after week of Scully’s bionically inventive skepticism is a damnable superhero in our book.
    Greatest Achievement: X-Files in the small and big screen
    Worst acting gig to date: Californication
    Reason: A nymphomaniac single father who can’t ignore the lady parts ever, and all other debauched forms of scheeviness and it just happens to be his real life. Awkward.
    Potential for a return to Sci-Fi: Moderate
    Reason: While he excels at being Fox Mulder, the last movie…eh, didn’t do so well.
    Recommendation: Do another X-Files movie, die, then close that file for good. Steer clear of anything called the "XXX Files" and hopefully make way for a meaningful Sci-Fi franchise not based on a show in the 90’s.

    Vin Diesel
    Balls out Sci-Fi enigma, plain and simple. What race is he? We don’t know. What planet is he from? We don’t know. The baddest mo-fo in the genre. In his movies he is both good and bad guy, because really, who is baddass enough to take him on, show him up, or best the best around?
    Greatest Achievement: Pitch Black
    Worst acting gig to date: The Pacifier
    Reason: Really?
    Potential for a return to Sci-Fi: A definite
    Reason: The man lives and breathes it. I won’t say it’s the only thing he can do, but if the other thing is nearly this successful, and not illegal, he’d be doing it. (See Boiler Room)
    Recommendation: Keep hawking the other two parts of the Chronicles of Riddick trilogy, someone will be interested. Keep marketing the video game of the same title to keep the franchise alive to see another day, and, yeah, also stop beating that Hannibal: The Conqueror drum.

    Kurt Russell
    We bow to one of the greats. Hello Snake Plissken, Jack Burton, and my personal favorite R.J. "Mac" MacReady. If he was flying the Millennium Falcon, Star Wars would have had an "R" rating and been a lot cooler, and no way would he have been friends with sister loving Luke Skywalker. Substitute him in the lead of any great Sci-Fi movie and it just got better.
    Greatest Achievement: The Thing (The dogs man, the friggin dogs!)
    Worst acting gig to date: Soldier
    Reason: A terminator he is not. We need Kurt to wisecrack, make fun of wimps, and one liner his way through two hours of ass kicking. A serious Kurt is father to Kate Hudson, actor Kurt is beating an ugly foreigner with his head.
    Potential for a return to Sci-Fi: Doubtful
    Reason: He’s older, but does seem to be trying out new things see (Grindhouse). Yet, and we think this is a good thing, he’s not excited about seeing someone else play his greatest roles.
    Recommendation: Enough with the kid-friendly crap. We’ll let you have Sky High (geez) and Dreamer: A Horse Movie for Crybabies, but git yer ass back in the saddle and start working out your trigger finger, Mac. No Stallone reboots or Goldie Hawn revisits, straight kicking ass and producing/starring/cameoing in a Thing sequel/prequel thing, preferably. (CGI creators, suck it! Let‘s do it Live!)

    Bill Paxton
    A cult favorite. His appearance in Sci-Fi film may not be extensive, but boy does he know how to steal a scene. Whether whining on a desolate planet filled with over-enthused cockroaches, mocking Kelly LeBrock until he becomes a large, oozing turd, or just eating the damn face off a hick in a bar, Paxton was a t-shirt quote before there were t-shirt quotes. GAME-OVER MAN!
    Greatest Achievement: Aliens
    Worst acting gig to date: Spy Kids 3D
    Reason: Holy Christ, Antonio Banderas, Sly Stallone and Salma Hayek were in this movie! Why did no one see it? Because sucky kid’s movies must be the fastest way to heaven and obviously everyone else missed the call. Clive Owen was apparently filming depressing movies about the last child on earth that day and couldn‘t make it.
    Potential for a return to Sci-Fi: Possible
    Reason: He’s leaving the door open to experiment, which means nothing is really out the window. Once you’ve loved Chloe Sevigny most things are possible.
    Recommendation: Honestly, Big Love is almost Sci-Fi, but really we’d love to see his creepy bad guy side come out. He’d probably be a great serial killer, possibly one with paranormal abilities. Thanks, polygamy!

    #openmicnights
     Reply
    Edited by Spirit Fingers at 10/23/09 2:02 AM Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred
    Image of DahlELama DahlELama
    10/23/09

    @Spirit Fingers: Nathan Fillion is a gift that needs to be shared with all genres, not to be hoarded for shows that tank after a season or two. Besides, I like Castle, and I'm pretty sure he's the only reason why. Don't take that away from me.

    Also, Big Love=best show on TV. Bill Paxton stays. You can have the other three.

    #openmicnights
     Reply
    Edited by DahlELama at 10/23/09 2:15 AM DahlELama was starred DahlELama was unstarred
    Image of raincoaster raincoaster
    10/23/09

    @Spirit Fingers: Gotta disagree. Kurt Russell should also do porn. At my house.

    #openmicnights
     Reply
    raincoaster was starred raincoaster was unstarred
    Image of Where The Mild Things Are Where The Mild Things Are
    10/23/09

    @Spirit Fingers: Wait - have you seen Kurt Russell in "Overboard"? Masterful.

    Now do a list of the 5 who should never, ever do Sci-Fi. #1: John Cusack

    [gawker.com]
     Reply
    Edited by Where The Mild Things Are at 10/23/09 2:33 AM Where The Mild Things Are was starred Where The Mild Things Are was unstarred
    Image of Spirit Fingers Spirit Fingers
    10/23/09

    @DahlELama: Yes, Fillion is a gift to the world, but he can get kind of clumsy. It's part of his charm, but wow, I can't even think of all the shows they've tried him on. For some reason he just fits Sci-Fi/Action. I like him complex and layered. Man of little words but you always get his meaning, ya dig? I think he's wasted on Castle.

    Paxton is great on Big Love, but now that he's reestablished himself, I'd like to see him get back into the darker stuff, even though Big Love is getting pretty dark...but that's why he's so good.

    #openmicnights
     Reply
    Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred
    Image of Spirit Fingers Spirit Fingers
    10/23/09

    @Where The Mild Things Are: "Overboard" is a movie you end up watching bits and pieces of, randomly, over the course of several years (Thanks TBS!) until you realize, "Wow, I've watched this whole thing, and not only am I not any smarter... all I needed to see was the first 8 minutes! The other 82 was all a continuation of the same joke about indentured servitude and opening beer! Trendy! "

    I made a never, ever list too, and you may be surprised who's on it. We'll see what happens with this...perhaps I'll post that one too.

    Oh, and Cusack...upsets me. 1408 Gah!

    #openmicnights
     Reply
    Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred
    Image of Phyllis Nefler Phyllis Nefler
    10/23/09

    @Spirit Fingers: Whoa whoa whoa you did NOT just go there on Overboard.

    We have a falsetto child?

    That movie is like the REASON that I give Kate Hudson so much leeway.

    Also, while I'm stridently defending Kurt Russell, you have to admit he kicked some serious American ass in Miracle.

    #openmicnights
     Reply
    Phyllis Nefler was starred Phyllis Nefler was unstarred
    Image of Spirit Fingers Spirit Fingers
    10/23/09

    @Phyllis Nefler: If you give Hudson any leeway at all, it's because every once in awhile, briefly, as if by elven magic, she strikes a face, pose, deft tilt of the head and channels her mother. Not Goldie of the lips-o-innertube variety, but Private Benjamin, Wildcats, (actress who has an Oscar) Goldie. Then it's gone and there's Bride Wars all over place and it's frizzy and shrilly, and just an Anne Hathaway assisted travesty.

    Overboard while entertaining...it's like Cheetos and Yoo-Hoo...wrong, so wrong, despite it's first appeal, but you knew that once you heard the fist banjo twang playing faintly in the distance.

    Miracle (Really, Miracle?) does not beat Escape from New York, no way, no how, ma'am.

    (But thanks for the input, though!)

    #openmicnights
     Reply
    Edited by Spirit Fingers at 10/23/09 8:37 AM Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred
    Image of Phyllis Nefler Phyllis Nefler
    10/23/09

    @Spirit Fingers: Really. MIRACLE!

    #openmicnights
     Reply
    Phyllis Nefler was starred Phyllis Nefler was unstarred
    Image of DorothyMantooth DorothyMantooth
    10/23/09

    @Spirit Fingers: You ain't got no alibi, Spirit Fingers.

    Also, Fillion was really terrific in Waitress. Don't fence him in!

    #openmicnights
     Reply
    DorothyMantooth was starred DorothyMantooth was unstarred
    Image of Spirit Fingers Spirit Fingers
    10/23/09

    @Phyllis Nefler: I'm going to quietly forget you're promoting a hockey ( i.e. sports movie where challenged team overcomes challenges to succeed, starring Denzel Washington and Emilio Estevez.) movie and trying to convince me that it can stand the test of time and not be confused for The Mighty Ducks Titans of Glory Road. I can't believe I'm saying this....friggin Overboard will be shown at Kurt's poignant, but sad "In Memoriam" before Miracle: The Lean Years, gets a spot. If it does make it, I'll know I'll be wondering about his Lego town mayor hair.

    Oh, and here's the tagline, courtesy of IMDB: What America needed was a miracle. What it got was a hockey game. (urrrgh)

    #openmicnights
     Reply
    Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred
    Image of Spirit Fingers Spirit Fingers
    10/23/09

    @DorothyMantooth: If only Wesley Snipes had stayed on the right course, he'd have made this list. Somewhere between Blade 1 and 3 (Ron Pearlman! He was bad.) the wheels fell off the bus.

    Fillion bored me to tears in Waitress! But then when you pair up with Felicity and expect more than what Scott Speedman can provide...well, you really have just you to blame. (I liked the pie scenes though!) If he's gonna go indie, make him the lead, and erase Keri Russell and replace her with Emily Blunt. Done.

    #openmicnights
     Reply
    Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred
    Image of Phyllis Nefler Phyllis Nefler
    10/23/09

    @Spirit Fingers: (lowers voice to a whisper): but I haven't seen Escape From New York

    #openmicnights
     Reply
    Phyllis Nefler was starred Phyllis Nefler was unstarred
    Image of Phyllis Nefler Phyllis Nefler
    10/23/09

    @Spirit Fingers: also do you paint Rudy with that brush?

    #openmicnights
     Reply
    Phyllis Nefler was starred Phyllis Nefler was unstarred
    Image of atlasfugged atlasfugged
    10/24/09

    @Spirit Fingers: No offense to the other commenters, but, Mr. or Ms. Fingers, this is the only submission which I was compelled to read to the end without skimming. You'd finally fill in the void on this site that's been around since Cajun Boy left.

    #openmicnights
     Reply
    Spirit Fingers promoted this comment atlasfugged was starred atlasfugged was unstarred
    Image of Spirit Fingers Spirit Fingers
    10/24/09

    @atlasfugged: Wow. Thanks so much!

    #openmicnights
     Reply
    Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred
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